A/N: Here you go, hope you all enjoy. Some nice angst for the holidays lol. Please review! And Happy Holidays!

Disclaimer: In other chapters.

Samantha had been wandering around in the freezing cold for hours now, trying to put off going home and talking to Martin for as long as possible. It was around 2 o'clock now, and she was sure Martin would be home by now, he only had some paperwork to do.

Pausing outside the door to their apartment, she took a deep breath and held back her tears. I'm so sorry Martin, she thought to herself.

She opened the door and walked in to see Martin sitting in the living room, holding his cell phone.

"Hey." he said walking over to greet her with a peck on the lips. "I was wondering where you were. What's wrong?" Looking at her sensing something wasn't right.

She sighed, and lead him back to the couch. "I've been doing a lot of thinking with everything that's been happening..."

Martin looked at her a bewildered look on his face, his eyes full of love and concern.

It's for the best, she thought to herself, feeling an ache at the sight of his loving face. It doesn't seem so now, but if he stays with me one day he will regret it and he'll want his own family.

"Well....I uhhh think that we should spend some time apart. Everything that's happened...it's given me a lot of time to think, and we've been moving to fast and it's too much...." Samantha trailed off from her rehearsed speech (that she had thought about a lot on her walk), seeing the heartbroken look on Martin's face.

"You want to break up?" he faltered.

Samantha's eyes welled up. "I'm sorry." she whispered.

"Why? Everything was going great."

"I just can't do this." She said, looking down at her hands.

Martin gently tilted her face up to look at her. "You don't mean it." he said his eyes also full of tears.

"I'm sorry Martin."

"What's wrong? There's something wrong isn't there?"

Samantha shook her head sadly. "Nothing's wrong...I just need to be by myself." A lone tear trailing down her cheek.

Martin gently wiped it away. Sam sniffled, holding back more tears, before she broke down, changed her mind and told Martin about what the doctor said.

"I'm going to get some stuff and stay in a hotel for a while." She kissed Martin gently on the cheek, took her ring off and pressed it into his hand. Lingering slightly not wanting to forget his touch. She got up and grabbed some clothes from their room. Martin was still sitting on the couch when she came back with a bag of her stuff.

"Bye Martin-" she hesitated as if she was going to say more, and Martin looked at her hopefully. She sighed, and smiled sadly, her heart shattering into a million pieces along with his. She made it out of the door, and into the elevator before bursting into tears. She sank against the wall, sobbing out all her hurt. She was doing the right thing right? One day he would want kids again, now she couldn't give them to him...he deserved someone else. This was right. It had to be. The right choices are always the hardest and most painful. She was struck by the sudden urge to run back to him, and tell him the truth and let him make it all better. No, she could do this. She had to be strong, it would save them both a lot of hurt in the long run.

Samantha walked out of the nice, warm apartment building, and puased on the sidewalk. Smiling sadly up at the room on the second floor. Wiping her hand under her eyes, removing any traces of tears she started down the street, hailing a cab when she saw one. She got in and asked the driver to drive to a few of the local inexpensive hotels to see if they had any vacancies. Luckily the second hotel they stopped at had space. Samantha paid the driver, who smiled comfortingly at her, feeling sorry for the beautiful blonde who seemed to be harbouring a lot of pain.

She paid for her room and went inside, looking at the place that was going to be her home for at least the next few days. She knew Martin would insist on moving out, seeing as it was her apartment originally but she hadn't wanted to make him leave then.

She flopped down on the bed, dropping her stuff on the floor. How was she going to face him everyday and act like nothing had happened? She sighed, well she would overcome that problem in the morning. Now all she wanted to do was sleep. Getting into her pyjamas she climbed into the empty bed, feeling another wash of sadness come over her, Martin wasn't there, she was alone now. Turning over looking at the empty side of the bed, she pictured him lying next to her, just smiling. Making her feel special. Then the picture flashed to his broken and tearful eyes when she told him that she couldn't do it. The lost, confused look that made her want to hold him in her arms, and tell him everything would be fine.

Time to move past this, Samantha Spade she thought to herself. You can do this, it's for the best. She turned back over, trying to get to sleep. Ignoring the little nagging in the back of her head that kept asking, did I do the right thing?

Martin had an equally restless night, trying to fall asleep in his and Samantha's room proved impossible and he ended up on the couch. Thinking over what had happened in his head. He liked to think he knew Sam quite well, and he could tell that she was holding something back. What he couldn't for the life of him figure out was what it was. Her beautiful brown eyes would not leave his head. The unwillingness and sorrow in her eyes, haunted his thoughts. Something was pushing her away and he was going to find out what.

The next morning Samantha half-heartedly got ready for work. Not wanting to go and see him, see the others and act normally. Not having to wait for anything, she found herself in the office very early at around 7.45, with only Vivian there already.

"Morning Sam." said Vivian, warming her hands with a cup of coffee.

"Hey." Sam smiled.

"Where's Martin?" asked Vivian.

Something flashed across Samantha's face so quickly Vivian wasn't able to catch it.

"He's coming later."

"Are you alright?" Vivian asked concerned by the flat tone in Samantha's voice.

"Yeah I'm fine."

"Samantha..." said Vivian warningly.

Samantha looked up, dark circles under her eyes, but smiled all the same. "I'm fine." she said, bringing a hand up to rub her tired eye.

Vivian immediately noticed the lack of engagement ring, learning to be observant having been drilled into her from day one.

She grabbed Samantha's hand, finalising to herself that there was no ring.

"What's going on?" she demanded in a no nonsense tone.

Samantha smiled sadly and pulled her hand away, "Long story." she sighed.

"We've got a while." said Vivian, sitting Sam down on a nearby chair and pulling up another for her.

"I don't want to talk about it-please." pleaded Samantha.

Vivian took one look at her face and sighed, Sam really didn't look like she wanted to talk, she had a stubborn look pasted on her face. "Okay, but when you do..." she left the rest of the sentence hanging.

"I'll come straight to you." finished Samantha. "Thanks." she flashed a small smile towards Vivian who returned it, worried for her colleague who was obviously hurting. Just when everything seemed to be getting back on track, except for this Ben guy.

"Has there been any sign from the guy we think is Ben Perry, any more notes? Anything?"

Samantha shook her head. "Not that I've seen."

"We'll see if we can get a new list of Riley's visitors, see Perry's been back."

"Okay." said Samantha.

She heard a noise behind her she turned and saw Martin come in through the door and make his way over. He looked like she felt. His eyes locked with hers for a few moments before they both looked away. This exchanged not missed by Vivian who wondered what was going on.

"Morning." Vivian said smiling.

"Morning Viv." Glancing at Samantha, "Morning."

"Hey." she replied softly and sadly. This was going to be a long hard day.