Chapter Two

Is Everyone Here Crazy, or Is It Just Me?

"Kagome?" I jumped out of my chair, causing it to topple over onto the ground. "What are you doing here at…" I check my watch, "um…7:00 at night?"

She walks over and pokes my head. "Checking on you. You idiot. It's only seven, you know." She pulls up MY swively chair and plops herself onto it. I clench my fist and get all annoyed, anime style.

"KAGOME!" rumble, rumble

"What?" she asks, feigning innocence.

"THAT'S MY CHAIR!" I hollered, my anger exploding like a time bomb.

"Jeez. Possessive, aren't we?" Nonetheless she dragged herself off my chair and seated herself onto my desk. Seeing as how this was the only compromise I was going to get, I shrugged and let her sit there.

"Yes we are!" I stuck my nose up into the air and sat down onto my chair. Suddenly the stupid intercom buzzes again. I almost fell out of my chair, and only was prevented from doing so from flailing around a bit and ruining my dignity.

"WHAT?" I roared.

"God, InuYasha, I guess Miroku and I will just go home then."

"Sango!" I shouted. "No, no! Come up." I buzzed her in.

Sango is my CIO, chief information officer. Along with Miroku, her aggravating boyfriend, (or so he says, she denies it, but personally I think that he is) she is one of the most important people in my company. She is a recent acquisition, but she has already taken many steps to ensure that Quan Ye Cha, the name of my company, will rise to the top.

Quick, brisk footsteps clicked up the stairs. I chuckled. Sango probably forced Miroku to climb the stairs again. Just to annoy him. I made a mental note to remind Sango not to wear stilettos while doing so, since the clicking was beginning to get on my nerves. We half-dog demons have a very sharp sense of hearing. The door suddenly burst open and Sango came striding in.

"Haven't you people ever heard of knocking?" I asked, irritated, even though I heard her coming a long ways off.

Sango shrugged. "It's not as if you didn't know we were coming. You should be used to this barging in by now."

Sango was more or less the opposite of Miroku. Wearing a pinstriped business suit, she appeared all bossiness with a "don't mess with me" look. Having that gigantic boomerang over her back didn't hurt either. I don't know how she carries it. It makes Tetsuiga look like a plastic kitchen knife. And if all else fails, her stilettos have three-inch daggers as heels.

Miroku, on the other hand, was totally different. He is a monk, (except this part I doubt, since I thought monks were supposed to virtuous) and he carries prayer beads all the time otherwise he may accidentally get in a fit of insanity and kill everyone in sight. He has this staff which he carries to psyche people out, but with his casual dress and even worse attitude, (he is the world's worst flirt) he's basically useless. Not to say he doesn't have his uses. You have no idea how great it is to send him to deal with telemarketers. grins evilly

"InuYasha, long time no see." Miroku grinned, strutting in. He immediately sat down in front of my desk and put his feet up, causing me to shake with rage.

"MIROKU!!" I bellowed.

The portrait of my mother that was hanging on the wall fell off and hit the ground with a loud crash. I hurry over and pick it up, relieved that no damage was done. I could almost feel my mother's spirit bearing down on me if even a dust bunny fell off of it.

"Sorry?"

Kagome and Sango both gave me looks that plainly said, "He's not worth it."

I shrugged. "Apology NOT ACCEPTED!"

I dove under my desk as Kagome and Sango and Miroku started chucking everything within reach at me.

I looked up. "HEY! That's my Ming Dynasty vase!" I barely ducked in time as my priceless vase came hurtling at my head. Fortunately, my quick reactions enabled me to stick a hand up and catch it, placing it safely underneath my desk besides me. I chanced a peek over my desk when the plastic gnome also came speeding at my head, still caterwauling the alternate version of "Jingle Bells."

I stuck my head out for just enough time to say, "Wow, thanks for getting rid of that thing."

My reply was the bone boomerang. That stupid thing took the top off of my decorative palm tree! "Hey!" I shouted. "That was imported from Hawaii."

The pot came flying at my head.

"Enough!" I roared, jumping onto my table. "OW, OWIE, PAIN!" I shielded my face with my hands.

Finally pleased with their accomplishments, my "friends" if I may be so bold to call them that ceased abusing me. At least physically. Verbal abuse came flying across the room faster than anything Kagome whipped at me, and that girl is a damn good pitcher.

"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!" A rumbling noise came from my door as a huge shadow loomed around the corner. Shesso-maru…I thought, freezing in my spot. momentary silence until all hell breaks loose

Everyone dives under my desk. "Hey!" I squeak. "Make room for me!"

Everyone cowers, waiting for the worst.

"Whazzup, guys?"

"Shippo?" we all shout, thunderstruck.

"Uh-huh, the one, the only SHIPPO!" He comes sliding across my floor on his little paws, twirling around to a stop. "You may clap now."

Everyone leans back, sighing with relief. Short lived relief. Suddenly, the lights flickered and died out. Static buzzed from my intercom. Lighting flashed and thunder boomed. I yawned. "You just had to make a dramatic entrance, didn't you?"

Shesso-maru entered my office, pulled out the chair from under me, and sat down. Humph. Stupid older brothers. Always think they're better than you are. But THEY'RE NOT!

"Move away, filing. You are defiling my air with your putrid breath fouling it." Shesso-maru waved a hand carelessly, his long, girlish nails catching the light from the bright florescent light menacingly.

I clenched my fists. "You're defiling my office with the horrific stench emanating from your presence."

Shesso-maru chuckled. "So amusing, InuYasha. Just like that human girl I killed a few days ago. She was quite the feisty one."

I noticed I wasn't the only one with clenched fists. "Say whatever you like, Shesso-maru. It's murder. Why haven't you been arrested."

Shesso-maru looked up in surprise from examining his nails. "I bet your pardon? Who dares arrest the mighty Shesso-maru? The top of the society, despite the horrible stigma of having a hybrid half-brother."

My eyes started glazing over.

"InuYasha! No!" Kagome yelled, pulling on my sleeve.

"HAHAHAHA! Kagome, you're mine!" Without warning, Koga comes barging into my office.

"WILL EVERYONE PLEASE SHUT UP!" I barked. No pun or anything intended.

To my surprise, everyone did.

"What the hell are you all doing in my office? It's not a congregational ground, fools!"

"I have business with InuYasha-sama," Sango and Miroku said immediately.

"I'm just plain important," Shippo declared.

Kagome shrugged.

Shesso-maru snorted. "Since when do I answer to you?"

Koga yelled, "Surrender the Shikon shards, dog!"

"WHO ASKED YOU!" everyone else shouted.

"InuYasha did," Koga said smugly.

"I didn't ask you specifically, I asked in general." I gritted my teeth.

"Exactly my point," Koga beamed.

Shippo interrupts with incredulity, "You're going to let that mangy cur get away with calling you that?"

"What?" I asked, confused. All of a sudden, it clicks. "HEY!" I yelled. "LOOK WHO'S CALLING WHO A DOG!"

Koga looks at me condescendingly. "I'm not a dog. I'm a wolf."

I start shaking with a combination of disbelief and anger. My mouth opened and closed soundlessly. Words have failed me. I never thought there would be a day when this happened. Out of the blue, I start laughing. The laughter turns to hysterics. Hysterics turn to rolling on the tiled floor (no, I don't want to know what's been on there, leave me be, I want to be hysterical in peace) and beating the ground with my fists.

Everyone takes a step back.

Shesso-maru sighed. "I was going to say something, but seeing as how InuYasha is incapacitated, I'll let that last comment slide."

I pause slightly to cough out a few words, "Some brother you are, Shesso-maru."

"Half," he corrected, before sniffing. "You have yet to do something to make me admit you are in any way related to me, half-breed, which is something I have denied since the day you were born."

I pretended to think. "Do you deny that I'm a half-breed, or do you deny me being related to you?"

"You mongrel! Shut your dirty mouth." Shesso-maru aims a kick at me.

I jump up swiftly. "You want a fight? You, who can't conquer me? Look at these hands, Shesso-maru, and WEEP. These are the hands that have slaughtered millions of DEMONS. I fear neither you nor death. I will defeat you one day, dog, and send you home with your tail tucked between your legs."

Koga seemed to have enough wisdom to sneak out while everyone else was too busy being preoccupied seeing me argue with my half-brother. That's more than I can say for Shippo, who was darting around my chair, shouting, "Go get 'em, InuYasha! Give him a left! And a right! And another left!"

I not too gently shove him under the desk. "You wanna take it outside?" I jeered.

Shesso-maru snorted. "Human slang." And then he dove at me. I opened the window, said, "Ladies first," and waved as he soared through.

"Don't say I didn't warn you!" I shouted after him. Turning to the others, I grinned widely and bowed. "Now accepting encores."

Sorry about that. But it's past Shippo's bedtime, so Kagome and the others brought him, protesting, shrieking and all, home. Good thing too. My psychiatrist is coming soon. Time for another psychoanalysis of myself. As if I could be psychoanalyzed. Ha! I scoff at their ineptitude.

7:37 PM- sitting in my office with my feet up on my desk and an idiot shrink yammering about how that was impolite. NO I AM NOT COPYING MIROKU. DON'T YOU EVEN DARE SUGGEST THAT HE HAD A GOOD IDEA FOR ONCE.

Maybe I should deliberately antagonize him and shove my feet in his face? Nah. He'll defile my precious shoes. They were really expensive, too. DC imported straight from the US. They switched psychiatrists on me. This guy is even worse. He is "Hi My Name is Doctor Smith." Instead of analyzing me, he decided a different approach. It's called the "Equal" approach. He's going to pretend he's a brilliant, handsome millionaire like me (hardeharharhar) and I have to treat him as an equal by telling him everything about my life, NO LIES, he emphasizes. As if. No one is as intelligent and good-looking as I am. Ego blows up a few notches until Kagome kindly takes a needle and pops it.

My assignment today is how I feel about being unjustly wronged. Hmm…are they admitting that they made a mistake? After all, I was framed. Of course, even though I was framed, I'm still not let off from pulling that outrageous bank robbery and stealing the jewel from Kikyo's bank account. I can't believe that in her will she made them put it into the bank. The nerve! And then it goes and shatters randomly when I first met Kagome. You'd think I'd get a reduced sentence for good behavior.

Insert scene of InuYasha screaming/threatening/intimidating a little kid for accidentally touching the wall of his headquarters Uh…not that one. Sorry. I meant this one.

Insert scene of InuYasha smiling at another little kid, patting him on the head and giving his ball back Scene fails to mention what happens next. Censored for violence Uhh…no.

JEEZ. The whole world is against me. Blah, blah, blah, yadee dadee da. YES, I'm pouring on the pity treatment. YES, you're supposed to feel sorry for me.

All right, semi good behavior. I mean, I haven't killed anyone yet. Not overtly, anyway. ACK! Stop! Don't throw those things at me! I've been abused enough already today!

Hmm…this doesn't seem to be doing me any good whatsoever. So I'll try a different approach. "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I HAVE TO DISMEMBER YOU!!!!!"

Hmm…that seemed slightly more effective.

Oh wait. Sorry. Back to my journal entry. J L K But smileys are so much more fun! :-P :'-( :-D ;-) All right. Well, let me tell you the truth here. WHO LIKES BEING FRAMED?

Let's take a poll, shall we? Nah, I'm too lazy to call up the gang. Guess you're stuck with just my opinion. Besides, Kagome would probably say, "I do" just to spite me. Anyhow, that's besides my point. Back to the framing thing.

Naraku is an idiot. If he wanted Kikyo, why didn't he say so. Oh yeah, I would have pummeled him into pulp. Ahem. Besides that. He was too wimpy to outright kill her! What kind of pathetic demon hybrid is he? I have more guts than he does! Well, of course I didn't kill Kikyo. Only idiot humans with difficult relationships kill their fiancées. I, being a demon, like the rest of my clan, have much more efficient ways to deal with them. We don't have fiancées. There. Problem solved, everybody is happy. Naraku still hasn't been caught. How do I feel about that?

PRETTY DAMN AWFUL.

Actually, no I don't. Since if one of those police officers caught him, I might just go crazy. I shall indict him of framing in, I shall be the one to find him, I shall be the one to evoke justice. AND TOGETHER WE SHALL TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Eheh, sorry about that. That was totally random and unnecessary. Then again, I am totally random and unnecessary.

"Are you done yet, InuYasha-san?" The psychiatrist stuck his ostrich-like head towards me.

"No," I growl.

He backed away.

"Yes." I handed it to him. He looks it over and starts cracking up. I get slightly angry and thrash him kind of gently. That was rather of an oxymoron. But it was gently. And it was still thrashing.

His facial expression quickly became somber. "I'm sorry for laughing, InuYasha-san. But you meant for the story to be amusing, no?"

"Yes, but you ought not end a sentence with a negative. It implies unfamiliarity with the language." I lied and made it up on the spot. Sorry. I lie a lot. Makes me feel more intelligent.

The psychiatrist shook his head. "I happened to have been an English professor, InuYasha-san."

"So?" I demanded.

He shrugs. "I don't know."

Hmm…maybe there's hope for this psychiatrist yet.

A/N. Quan Ye Cha is the Chinese name for InuYasha. FYI. Also, I changed Miroku's ability. You know, the carpal wind tunnel thing. Cuz it isn't realistic in my story; especially since InuYasha doesn't believe in magic. Okay. Just to make this clear, each chapter is split into three. One part is InuYasha's diary thing; the other is the story. In between is a transition. You can tell when it's his diary, because it's normally just him and a bunch of random stuff. Events aren't normally recorded in the diary. Also, I'm not sure which one will be longer. Which ones do you, as my readers, prefer? Plus it begins with a time and place. Weird. I should be nicer to Koga, since he's my favorite InuYasha character. It's funny. All my favorite characters in manga are minor. Aoshi, Koga, Genkai…the only semi-main is Hiei. Hmm…the way Shippo is portrayed seems to remind me of a character…but who he or she is I cannot remember. Sorry for not updating sooner.