One Of Us 11/?
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THAT EVENING: 90 MINUTES BEFORE SHIFT
As she approached, Sara could hear anguished, almost enraged cries floating down the hospital corridor. As she drew closer to Greg's room, she realized the sounds were coming from behind his closed door. Closing her eyes, she leaned against the wall a foot or so away, desperately trying to decide if she should storm in or turn and walk back to the elevators. Knowing all the others were already at work, making up for time lost visiting and watching over Greg, pushed her towards intervention. Twisting the door handle, she found two nurses and Scott Denson hovering over Greg, trying to calm him down. Swiftly, she approached her young friend and gripped his face lightly, pulling his attention to her.
"Greggo! Easy... take it easy, okay? What's up?"
"Don't let 'em, Sara! They don't have any right... make 'em all go away, please...."
"Hang on a minute. Try and take a deep breath. Better. Doc? What's goin' on?"
"I need to examine his surgery site. Understandably... he's reluctant."
Denson's hesitation told Sara all she needed to know. She blanched for a moment, but rapidly pulled herself together, acknowledging that she was the only help available to get Greg through what promised to be a difficult procedure. An old, unwelcome memory drifted up from a dark pool at the back of her mind and, despite how much the prospect angered and frightened her, she knew it was the right time and place to resurrect a personal coping tool and pass it on to Greg.
"Greg.... take my hands, okay? Hold onto my hands... an' close your eyes. Close 'em real tight. Don't think about what he's doin'..." she instructed quietly, nodding to the doctor that he should get started. "Blank your mind, fill it up with your favorite music... whatever it takes, don't be here. Until he's done, you just go away. Go somewhere safe... somewhere relaxing.... Anywhere but here."
It wasn't until one of the nurses touched Sara's shoulder, alerting her that Denson was finished, that the young woman realized she had tightly clamped her own eyes shut as well. Slowly, she forced them open again and silently questioned the doctor with a raised eyebrow.
"Everything looks good. He's healed much faster than I had hoped. I'll schedule the surgery to reverse his colostomy as soon as possible."
"Thanks, doc."
"No, thank you. If you hadn't come along, we might not have gotten though this without using sedation. I really didn't want to do that."
"Yeah..."
"Miss... Sidle, is it?"
"Uh-huh." She responded, suddenly wary.
"If you ever want to talk to someone about where and how you learned that technique, I could give you some names. Very kind, sensitive people... good listeners. Total confidentiality."
"No."
"I get it. Loud and clear. You'll be here for a while? He's going to need someone to talk to until he can decompress."
"For a while, yeah."
"Great. Good-night Miss Sidle."
"Night. Hey. You can come back now, Greg. It's over an' done. Denson's gone, the nurses are outta here... it's just you an' me. Time to open your eyes."
Concern welled up in Sara when Greg would neither speak nor move. "Greg, don't do this. I know it's harsh out here, but wherever you went, you can't hide there forever. It doesn't work that way, ya know? Life an' all the shit that goes with it will still be here waiting. C'mon, damn it..." she exhorted, touching his face and shaking him lightly. Finally he murmured a word or two.
"No... better here."
Unbidden tears threatened to spill down Sara's face, but she fought them and concentrated on pulling Greg back to reality.
"I know. I've got my own quiet place... talk to me, okay? Tell me where you are."
"Don't know. It's warm, bright, peaceful...it's better."
"Seems that way sometimes... bud, you've just gotta trust me on this... your own head can be a lousy place to run and hide. The longer you stay, the harder it is to come back. It's bright now, but it's gonna get dark eventually and you can get lost so easy... Don't get lost, Greg. Open your eyes...."
Greg was silent for several more minutes, but eventually he asked a question that gave Sara hope that she might get him back.
"They're really all gone?"
"Really. No doctor, no nurses."
"You swear?"
The raw pain in his voice came very close to breaking Sara's tight rein on her emotions, but she dug in and remained composed somehow.
"I swear, an' you know I wouldn't lie, right? It's safe now."
Slowly, grudgingly, Greg opened his eyes and gazed quickly around the room. When he realized that she was indeed telling the truth, he breathed out heavily and his companion could almost see the tension leaving him.
"Thank God... Look, can you stay? I'll probably sleep, but... just 'till I do..."
"You know it. I'll be right here."
"Sara... what you did for me..."
"Don't, okay? The point is it helped, right?"
"Yeah, but..."
"Greg. Forget it. It doesn't mean anything. I probably read it in some psych journal years ago."
He stared deeply into her eyes, trying to read her, but she had retreated behind her habitual steel-reinforced concrete mask. Concerned, but afraid she would leave, he decided not to push her any further.
"Probably. Anyway... thanks." he said quietly, allowing his eyes to slip closed again.
"Okay. You just get some sleep. I'm not goin' anywhere."
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45 MINUTES LATER: THE STATION LOCKER ROOM
Sara stood, one hand on her locker and her head bowed, focused on the music drifting through her head. She was so intent on the melody and lyrics that she didn't hear Nick enter. She didn't even realize she was no longer alone until he opened his own locker, the noise startling her out of her reverie.
"Sorry."
"It's... okay. I guess I stepped out for a second... mentally, I mean."
"No problem. We've all been doin' it." He replied easily, popping two pain-reliever capsules into his mouth and following them with a swig of water.
"Hand still buggin' you?"
"Off an' on. At the moment it's a headache. So... what's got you so eager to drift away, hmmm?"
"This song.... I can't stop thinkin' about it. I heard it on the radio the other day.... Just outta the blue, but it seemed so right for how I was feeling at the time. It kinda... spooked me a little."
Nick's head came up and he stared at Sara, his interest suddenly peaked.
"Yeah? What song?"
" "Full Of Grace" by Sarah Mclachlan."
"I know it. Beautiful lyrics. Really sad though..."
"Maybe. Like I said... it fit the moment."
Nick was silent for a long moment. He took another quick sip of water then closed his locker door. His expression was unfocused for a few seconds then he seemed to come to a decision.
" "Behind Blue Eyes". " he stated quietly before turning to walk away.
"Wait.... what?"
"Happened to me too. I wanted to hear The Who so bad... I finally went and borrowed the CD from Greg's stash in the lab. Spent about half an hour listenin' to it over and over..."
"Makes you wonder. You don't think..."
"You got your assignment yet?"
"Yeah. I'm on a department store robbery with Catherine."
"You ask her... I'll ask Grissom and Warrick."
"Okay. Wouldn't it just be the weirdest thing ever..."
"Yeah."
After sharing a final glance and a smile, the two left the locker room, headed in separate directions.
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TBC......