Chapter Four

Let's All Get Excited For No Reason Whatsoever

A/N- Out of curiosity, how much do you all like InuYasha? Have any of you heard "Change the World"? If you have, you know my current predicament. I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD. Every few seconds I start humming in Japanese words I don't understand!! I mean, I have the English translation, but since I don't have an English version of the song, it doesn't make sense! MUAHAHAHA…I've been sitting in front of the computer for like the whole day, all because we just got Comcast. And for those of you who don't know, Vindicated is from Spiderman 2 and it's by Dashboard Confessional. Disclaimer: Still, I own nothing…And there is no offense implied from the "ghettoness" so I hope there is none taken. I hope you have all realized by now that I'm writing this story completely by instincts and by random thoughts. So please, if that type of writing affronts you, either read another story by me (Resurfacing Memories is much more serious) or just forget about me totally. Keep in mind, however, that some people may enjoy this, as difficult as it may be for you to believe.

Sunday, October 24 8:19 P.M.

Humdeedumdedum…The day isn't over yet! At 9:00 tonight I have to go meet Kagome, Shippo, Sango, Miroku, etc. at Club Half. Personally, I think about half-and-half, as in the stuff you put in your coffee every time I go there. However, it's supposed to imply "half demon" sort of thing, I believe. Why Kagome wants us to meet there out of all places just completely blows my mind. Doesn't she ever read the newspaper? Do the words "spontaneous killing" mean anything to her? I guess not, seeing as how she wants us to meet there. To tell you the truth, I don't know why I'm writing in this journal. It's not like I have to. I could be watching the World Series! First, I have to find out what they are. I heard a very lively discussion between Miroku and Sango about the Yankees and the Red Sox. Miroku was devastated when the Yankees lost, but proceeded to inform Sango that the last time the Red Sox won the World Series was 1918. Who the hell are they? Apparently, Kagome informed me that they are both well-known baseball teams. Baseball, as in the sport where they take a stick of metal and smack a ball as hard as they can, then run around this diamond shaped field, get nearly attacked as someone chucks the ball that barely skims your head?

Do you see any fun in that? Actually, I find baseball very intriguing. Kagome once tried to teach us how to play. I recall her yelling at me for beating Miroku over the head with a bat. Obviously that's not allowed… Such a shame. It so wasn't my fault, though! He started it by throwing the ball at me! The nerve! Good thing I had that weird glove to catch the ball with. So many sports would be much more interesting if some violence was added. Yet when I told her this, she snottily informed me that if I found smashing your head against someone else's interesting, I could go watch football.

But it's not fun to beat someone up for a reason. I prefer to do it just for the heck of it. They should make a sport like that. They do, you say? It's called boxing? Yeah, but boxing/wrestling is all "honorable." Who cares about honor? All it does is that it gets in the way when you need to do something important. I'm going to invent a sport called InuYasha's sport that involves picking on a random bystander. Ready? Let's try it out. First I'm going to disguise myself so that no one will recognize me. Insert image of InuYasha in an Elvis wig and outfit Um….no. Insert image of InuYasha in a trenchcoat and Doc Martens That could work. Could be potentially lethal both ways.

An innocent little boy in a cap and breeches is strolling down the street.

Me: HAHAHAHA! Little boy, prepare to meet your demise! (Bares fangs and claws.)

Boy: (Whips out an Uzi) Wanna bet?

Me: Ehh…no. (Turns to a bum) Yo! Bum-in-the-street. You got the guts to fight me.

Bum-in-the-street: (Holds out police badge) I'm going to have to arrest you for disturbing peace.

Me: Who me? Disturbing peace? Wouldn't dream of it. (Puts hands behind back and whistles)

Me: (Looks around for another unsuspecting bystander. Sees pompous lady decked in Nine West stilettos, a Gucci handbag, BCBG Max Azria dress, a mink coat, and DKNY hat.) Hey, lady!

Lady: (Turns around) Yes, sir?

Me: Let's fight! You an' me, right here, right now!

Lady: I could kick your ass any day anywhere. Want to try?

Me: (Backs down) Uh…never mind, I think my mom's calling me in for dinner.

Hmm…that sport seems to be a dud. People these days just aren't who they used to be. Oh well. The clock has just struck 8:49. I believe that is my cue to be going now. Ta ta, y'all. Wait, wait, I'm taking this thing with me. You never know what could happen along the way that could be diary/notebook worthy. I opened the back door out of my office, which leads to my own, private spiral banister especially designed to slide down. MUAHAHAHAHAHA. No one else knows of it, except for the architect who designed it. Don't ask what happened to him…you don't want to know…haha just kidding. He's alive. I think.

Argh! It's quite difficult to write whilst sliding down a banister. Just in case you didn't know that. Woohoo! Pardon me while I stop to fix my hair. It happened to defy gravity on the way down. All right. Finally, out of the front door. Yes, I'm dressed in my black business suit. I might ditch the tie before I reach the café, though. All right, all right. I'm getting rid of it all. I'm wearing a black t-shirt that says, "Eminem is my homie" in spiky gothic letters and chained jeans. Don't want me homies to think I ain't ghetto enough. So I'm gonna put on me bling and me cool shades and then the hoop earrings. Nah, I'll do that in the limo. I can't write and accessorize at the same time. I may be a skilled multitasker, but I'm not that skilled. My Tetsusaiga is strapped to the inside of my black leather jacket.

Well, I think that's enough about my "thoughts" for today. I'll write more later, perhaps.

It's time for some serious…. eating! And I really want to know what this "top-secret" meeting is going to be all about. Maybe, if I'm in a good mood, I might even SHARE it with you. Gasp! The shock! The surprise! HAHAHA…no. In any case, I will write soon…. But first, you must define 'soon' for me.

"All righty, driver! Let's go to Club Half!"

"Aye, InuYasha-san!" The car lurches forward, and I unfortunately lurch backwards, an unpleasant combination.

Pulling on my visor backward (it remains baseball-neutral—it just has a dollar symbol on it) and donning my "shades," I practice my ghetto poses in front of the mirror. I reach into the cooler and pop open a can of Pepsi. Downing it in a few gulps, I call to the driver, "Step on it!"

Not a moment later did I regret those words…Let's put it mildly…Disheveled as a serious understatement. We pulled up at the front of Club Half. My driver opens my door and ushers me out onto the red carpet. Cameras flash and reporters drone on in front of my face. Screaming fan girls wave for my attention. Ahhh, who am I kidding? The club was virtually dead. I mean, I don't think people realize it opens before 10:30. I open my own door and bellow, "Outta my way, buffoons!"

Quickly, Kagome and Miroku come up behind me and dragged me in before some drunken idiots could figure out I was addressing them. "What happened to being inconspicuous?" Kagome hissed. "And pull up your pants!" She was decked in a short, punkish, leather miniskirt, a large belt with spikes on it, rhinestones around her neck, many studded bracelets, chains, black boots that went up to her knees that had big silver buckles and a black halter top that said "Shut up and dance."

"What? You don't think ma bling is inconspicuous? And you're too goth!" I do heed her advice and inch my jeans up a millimeter.

"First of all, if you're going to act all 'ghetto,' you can't say inconspicuous." Sango took this opportunity to inform me smugly. She wore a glittery t-shirt that said, "Shake it like a Polaroid picture" and tight black jeans.

"All right, all right. Ya don' think ma bling blends in with yo homies?"

"That's more like it." Shippo came bounding out in front of me wearing a fro wig and shiny silver disco pants. Rings glinted from all his fingers.

I shake my head. "No."

Miroku sticks his head through the front door. He had his hair up in a bandanna and, like me, had much bling around his neck.

"I'm not goth!" Kagome protests.

"You look like one! Though Shippo looks like a disco dancer, Sango looks a little too preppy, and Miroku looks like just plain Miroku, I look like a rapper wannabe, you are dressed the worse!"

Kagome fumes silently for a few moments until Miroku pipes up, "That's just InuYasha's way of telling you that you look HOT."

"Why you!" I spluttered, my face boiling. You could have melted steel on it.

"Whatever." Sango rushed. "Let's go into the club."

"Good idea." Shippo chirped, leading the way while humming to "Kung-fu Fighting" and making a weird little hop every time he reached the last syllable.

I shook my head. "You know what that reminds me of? Those little hamsters that you press the paw and starts dancing."

Myoga appears from nowhere and exclaims, "Good idea, InuYasha-san!"

I sigh and put my face in my hands. Shippo and Miroku, who seemed determined to pull me into the club, deprive me of even this simple respite. I enter the club, which is virtually empty, and head over to the refreshment table when I am restrained by, guess who? Shippo and Miroku.

"Come this way," they hiss into my ear.

"Why?" I asked irritably.

"There's someone you have to meet," Kagome says.

I grumble and moan something inaudible, but follow them nonetheless.

They lead me through a series of long, winding hallways that all seem to look the same. Who knows, maybe they were the same. Finally, after two whole agonizing minutes, we arrived at the fated door. Dramatic music seemed to play (Beethoven's 5th Symphony) as the door slowly creaked open.

A halo of light seemed to surround the door. I shield my eyes from this holy beam and suddenly, figure steps from the expansion of brightness.

"InuYasha…" the voice rumbles. "What have you done to Tetsusaiga?"

"It's here." I pull it out from the interior of my jacket and hold it in front of me.

The unearthly voice intones again. "Put it down, O worthless one, son of a demon so great."

"What!" I yelped. "You! You old geezer! What the hell are you doing here?"

"I am here to see what you've done to my poor, precious, Tetsusaiga." The old man hobbled from the light. He looked much less saintly and much more like the doddering old fool he is. Totosai. And I thought we saw the last of him when I…um… incriminating evidence

"What? Since when was it your et quota, poor, precious, Tetsusaiga?"

"Since I forged it," he snapped, snatching it rudely out of my hands. He cooed to it with the air of one to a favorite child. "Aww, my poor baby subjected to the horror of that idiot's clumsy, bumbling hands."

I looked heavenward, clenching and unclenching my clumsy, bumbling hands. Kagome, noticing this, placed a hand over my mouth and muttered in my ear, "Listen to what he has to say."

"The marks on Kikyo when she died—" Totosai began.

I stiffened.

"—YEESH…Touchy. Continuing on. That was not my precious Tetsusaiga. Oh, sure, that's what the witnesses claimed it looked like, but I would know the difference of my baby's marks and those of another easily."

I growled. "Then why didn't you testify, old fool?"

He shrugged. "I didn't have a reason to."

That was the last straw. My temper built up and I began twitching.

Totosai backed away, holding up his hands. "However, there's still time. The usual laws did not apply to you. Due process will be given since you did not receive it the first time. And since your friends here have offered me some tantalizing rewards…"

I glared at him.

"No, hentai. They offered me a forge to work at. One for my own; where I could command others." A misty and faraway look sprang into his eyes, and I had a bad feeling about it.

"Where are they going to get the money?" I asked suspiciously.

"Why don't you ask them?" he grinned wickedly.

Kagome, Sango, and Miroku simultaneously blushed. Shippo just looked confused.

"Well?" I asked menacingly.

"Your treasury," Sango muttered.

"I BEG YOUR PARDON!" I bellowed.

"Your treasury," Kagome repeated sullenly.

"I BLOODY HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!"

"Well, where else were we supposed to get the money from?" Miroku tried to act reasonable.

Unfortunately for him, reasonable was not something that occurred to me at the time.

"FROM YOUR OWN FRIGGIN BANK ACCOUNTS! I'M NOT THAT LOADED, YOU KNOW!"

Kagome snorted. "Says the guy who imports all his clothes from Hollister, Pacific Sunwear, and Hot Topic from the US, has a limo, fifteen rooms of clothes, four of which hold shoes, two that hold accessories, three mansions, two estates, and his own village."

"Hey! How do you know all about that?"

She gave me a bored look. "I observe."

What could I say? "I will not dignify that with a reply."

"That is one."

Infuriating wench…. Makes extremely violent gestures that involve much blood and guts spurting that is certainly not PG-13

"Well, I've still got no cash to spare, at least not on the likes of him." I gesture in his direction.

"Well excuse me!"

"You're excused," I inform him.

"Well? Please?" Kagome pleaded, reminding me of the original point of the conversation.

I mumble and grumble for a few moments, just for show, of course, and begin grudgingly, "Well—I suppose, maybe—"

I am cut off as Kagome flings her arms around my neck and starts gushing, "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!"

I pat her gingerly on the head and step back. "Why are you so happy? I mean, this isn't even for you. He's just gonna testify for my case. Why do you care whether or not I'm innocent?"

She stared at me as if the answer were the most obvious thing on the face of the planet, next to the sky is blue. Which actually, if you think about it, is not that obvious. All right, all right. She said, "Of course I care. Because you're innocent."

Miroku whispers obnoxiously loud, "Because she doesn't want her boyfriend to be on parole."

"WHO SAYS I'M HER BOYFRIEND!" I shriek just as Kagome joins in with "WHO SAYS HE'S MY BOYFRIEND!"

Miroku sniggers. "Well, it's painfully obvious that you two are just MAD about each other."

I look at Kagome. "Temporary alliance to rid the earth of this waste?"

"Agreed."

Note-the following preview is rated R for excessive use of expletives, blood, gore, weapons, and some tobacco usage

I clap my hands to rid it of Miroku germs, then continue to tell Kagome, "Why would I ever want you to be my girlfriend? You're ugly, mean-tempered, and just plain annoying."

Kagome's temper flared up. Heeeheeeheee. I love provoking her! It's so fun. "AT LEAST I'M NOT A FOUL, EVIL, HALF-DEMON!"

"Oh yeah! I forgot, you're also human."

"Watch it…." Sango growled.

"No offense intended for other humans."

"ENOUGH!"

Amazing. Though I am a foul, evil half demon with claws of steel and a gigantic sword, no one shuts up when I declare enough. A decrepit, bent over, ancient geezer shouts it in his feeble old voice and you could hear a demon breathe. That's pretty quiet, for your information. Do you sense some unfairness in this situation? I DEMAND RESPECT!

NOTE! You are talking to an attention deprived, delusional, youth. Please make some allowances.

I RESENT THAT LAST REMARK!!

"InuYasha. I shall go to court to arrange a meeting for you. You will pay me in deposits until I help you win your case. I have places to go, people to meet. I'm not just an old man. I'm an old man with a life. It's time to parTAY!" Totosai started breakdancing, and that is a sight that will forever scar me for life.

I edge away slowly from him. "Whatever floats your boat, old man. Come on, guys." I motion for the others to follow me. Surprisingly, they obey.

Anyhow, we all manage to return without mishap. Since it's past nine thirty, we decided to get back to my place to kick back, turn up the stereo, and party. I wonder where the old man went… disturbing images Uh….No. Well, I shall catch you all in the next episode of…DUN DUN DUN…The chronicles of my life. Sorry about that cheesiness. We were watching TV and this stupid "TBC" came up.

A/N- Many thanks to Snoochie, who informed of my spelling error of Tetsusaiga. Gyahh! I only know that guy's name in Chinese! The sword guy…. The one who forged Tetsusaiga. (I have the volume in Chinese) Must find out name in English! Does one of you care to enlighten me? Ah, thank you all who reviewed. I am now enlightened. I don't know if any of you have noticed, but Myoga looks a WHOLE lot like Happosai from Ranma ½. They're identical. Seriously! Then again, with so many characters, I suppose it's hard to be original. Of course Kagome and InuYasha will be together. Look at the way they're bickering. ;-D I will probably update soon, Chapter Five is already half-way done. 9th grade is so evil, though. I have a paper to write in ART! Why do I need a paper for an ART class? And I have a Cell Bio test, so I must go study now. Or at least "pretend" to do so.