Chapter Seven

The Tempest Arrives

A/N- Disclaimer: I own not InuYasha nor the Lord of the Rings, much to my dismay. But the silliness and storyline are mine. ALL MINE! Words in bold are actions.

November 18th. Finally, after nine hours, we get home. It's 6:45, and Kagome has spent the past 3 hours getting ready. Now to get in a frenzy and get dressed. Oh no! Where's my makeup? And my hairspray! And my deodorant! And my nail polish! And my…. Yes, I'm making fun of Kagome.

"HURRY UP, INUYASHA!" Kagome bellowed. "Men are all so last minute."

Might I remind her that all I did was run up the stairs to grab my tie. She is still primping in front of the main hall mirror.

You say it's okay because she's a girl, and girls are allowed to take five hours to get ready. Well, I say that that's SEXIST! Why can't I spend five hours getting ready? Why is it that I run upstairs and I get yelled at for being last minute, whereas she's still doing her friggin makeup and nobody cares?

Everybody choruses, "Because she's a girl."

Grrrrr….I'm not getting any answers here. "OY! IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WHO KNOWS HOW TO TIE A TIE?"

Kagome comes staggering into the room, weighed down by the impossible weight of her handbag. The ¥11,000 (yen) one, I should mention. The one I paid for. "Incompetent fool!" she spat. Her nimble and deft fingers tied a solid knot in my tie. Belatedly, I forgot to mention to her not to tie it too tight….think she took advantage of that?

Feh. Coming from the girl who couldn't even find her way out of a maze with a ball of string. Hmm…I think I'm a bad influence on her. She said incompetent fool. YES! MY PLAN TO BRAINWASH THE WHOLE WORLD AND MAKE THEM THINK LIKE ME IS SUCCEEDING!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Insert everyone sweat-dropping and pushing InuYasha out of the scene

"NOOOOO! I SHALL COME BACK TO GET MY REVENGE!" I shriek, causing Kagome to give me a look. Jeez. Like she's never spoken with her journal before. Weirdo. And she even has the NERVE to usher me out the door. "NO! MY PURSE!" That was deliberate. She shot me an even dirtier look. I stuck out my tongue childishly and said, "You're soooo immature."

"Immature is better than being hypocritical."

"Nu-uh." I shook my head while holding the door open for her. "You're hypocritical all the time."

"What, does that make you just immature then?" she retorted while walking out.

"I don't know. Stop twisting my words," I said, following her.

She snorted and slid into the limo. "Budge over," I said, diving in. She ignored me, causing me to catapult onto her.

"JEEZ INUYASHA! YOU'RE SO OBNOXIOUS!" she shrieked, jumping back.

I gesture wordlessly. "Wha—come on people, back me up."

Audience shakes heads and hold up signs

8.7, 9.1, 10, 9.8, 8.9, 9.4, 10, 1. WHAT? ONE! COME ON! That drags down my average to 8.3625! Yes, check it on your pocket protectors, you geeks! I'm right!

Are you calling me an attention seeking prat? Well, you know what I think about you? Whites out extremely obscene gesture Sticks out tongue What did you think it was, huh? Huh? You're more crude than I am! Maybe as much as Miroku! Wait, he just came over and smacked me on the head with his staff. He says that no one is as big of a hentai as he is.

Kagome is shuffling through her purse for something. "What are you looking for?" I ask curiously.

"None of your business," she sniffs. Taking something out quickly so I couldn't see it, she hid it in her hand and says, "Excuse me while I go back."

She stands up and goes to the back of the limo where the fridge and stuff are kept. I don't know what she did, but she came back a few moments later looking serene and content. That makes me suspicious. What do you think it is?

Leaves empty space for hypotheses

Guy number 1: I bet it's a….(you can guess what)

Guy number 2: I bet it's crack

Guy number 3: It's a present for you, InuYasha-san.

One and Two in unison: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU DON'T HONESTLY THINK SO! (falls onto floor laughing, beating the ground with their fists."

We'll see later.

The limo pulls up in front of the Hall of Laughter, the place where the ball was taking place. As we step out, I am nearly blinded by the flashes of cameras and deafened by reporters screaming in my ear. Growling angrily, I manage to scare a few off before many more replaced them, swarming around me and buzzing like bees. I swear they come in torrents. And they regenerate. Swat away one and there's four more to take his place. It's disgusting. Fortunately, all Kagome had to do was raise her foot (with the dangerous heel) and they scattered. No fair. Why does she have such a dramatic impact? Pouts I want one too! NOFAIR NOF AIR NOF AIR! WHY DOES SHE HAF ALL DA GOOD TINGS? ME WAN' ONE TOO! ME TOO! MET OO! ME TOO!

Big Inu pushes baby Inu out of the picture.

Sweat drop So sorry about that. Resurfacing childhood memories…As we stepped into the ballroom, my jaw fell to the ground with a loud thunk. The decorating committee had really outdone itself. Mistletoe was scattered all over the place, hanging over unsuspecting couples everywhere. A humongous chandelier bigger than my ego dangled overhead, its many diamond facets winking in the bright golden lights. Garlands of holly were draped over everything imaginable that stood still. And the food! Roast beef, stuffed geese, punch, champagne, every single delicacy available and a few that aren't. Waiters and waitresses bearing delicious hors d'ouevers bustled around, offering them to all the guests. Everybody who was somebody was invited to this celebration. All the prominent faces of Japan stood out here. Of course, you got the occasional fame-hungry idiot who sneaked in. If they got passed security, I allowed them to stay. They worked hard enough. But there are also the other kinds who sneak in a gazillion time with the same disguises. Those people are immediately dismissed.

Offering Kagome my arm, I escorted her in. Audience: Awww, how cute Formalities, people. Come on. Gimme a break. Audience boos Stupid fools. Plugs dog ears and shouts, "I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Everybody immediately drops what he or she was holding and freezes. Unfortunate for the ladies who were dancing. "Um…carry on," I said, waving a hand. As if someone unpaused the scenes, everyone began moving again. Kagome glared at me. I held up my hands and said innocently, "What, don't go blaming me. It's not my fault!" She apparently begged to differ. Various important personas who were dressed in stuffy suits and ties looked very uncomfortable in the heat. Aww, perhaps they were looking forward to waltzing? I bet I can make them even more uncomfortable. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Well, we strolled by to the center of the hall, me snagging hosr d'ouerves every time I saw a good one. Mmm, piggies in a blanket, quiches of every variety, crab cake thingys, lots of good stuff. And mine. ALL MINE! MY PRECIOUS! PJ comes in and whacks InuYasha on the head. "I got that stuff copyrighted!"

Feh. Directors and their copyrights. Or rather, authors. I shall try to enjoy myself and step on Kagome's foot at least ten times when we dance. You'd think she'd take a hint, but nooooo. I guess not. We took a seat, and a moment, right on cue, I bowed and said, "Would you grace me with the pleasure of dancing with you?"

"Why certainly," Kagome said, taking my hand and standing up. The lights dimmed and music blared out from the speakers. Before the pompous old geezers could stop the DJs, "Yeah" by Usher began thumping from all areas in the hall.

Kagome could barely contain her laughter. "InuYasha, my respect for you has just inched up a millimeter."

I chuckled. "What's the fun in dancing waltzes?" We moved to the center of the dance floor and began. After all the rap songs were over, a slow one came on. I contemplated whether or not I ought to step on her foot, but then I realized that most of the times before we danced, she would hiss at me not to step on her foot. She didn't. That's suspicious. As I looked down, I discovered why. Her lethal heels. She wanted me to step on her toes! Well, I won't giver her the satisfaction. I'll be so graceful, she won't believe it. I'll soar straight into the sky! I'll—stop now.

So there we were, just sort of swaying, until suddenly, the doors whip open, the lights turn on, and dramatic silence comes. A guy with sunglasses, slicked back black hair, and an outfit that just screams "pimp," strolls in, a girl with a dark green ball gown on his arm. I smack my forehead. That Miroku. Always making such a dramatic entrance. But who was that with him? Upon closer observation, I realized that it was Sango, but she was not with Miroku! I almost fainted from shock. I always assumed that they were secretly in love, but I guess not? And lo and behold, someone taps me on the shoulder and it's Miroku and one of his chicks! AAH! What is going on here? shakes head They are such an item! How could Miroku ditch Sango like that. Uh-oh. Sango and her date are approaching. I can sense a catfight already. I duck behind Kagome, quivering.

"Get a spine, InuYasha," Kagome pushes me in front. Ha. What she means is 'I don't want to face them, you're the guy you do it.' Feh. I'll show her. I strode right up to Sango and her pimp boyfriend. "Salutations, Sango-san. And greetings, um—" I made my narrowed eyes evaluate him up and down. Who says intimidation isn't a good way to greet people.

"Ean," he said in those low, masculine, muscle-and-no-brain guy voices.

"Ah. Ean. Pleased to make your acquaintance." I acknowledged sardonically.

"Likewise. It is not often that I get to meet a person of your stature and prominence."

Woah. He can talk. Not grunt, not snarl, but talk! I turn around. Miroku and his 'friend' are approaching fast. As they arrive they stand on the opposite side of me.

"Hello, InuYasha and Kagome." Miroku says, ignoring the other two obviously.

"Hey, could you guys move to the same side? It's difficult to keep talking and turning."

None of them fall for it. Time for some more tricky and subtle maneuvering. I turned casually to Miroku. "So, Miroku-san, introduce me to your lovely friend here."

The fool giggles. The other fool. Miroku's guest. "Oh, no need, Mir. I can introduce myself." Oh my, she can? She has the mental capacities to do so? GASP! THE HORROR! The ditz says, "My name is Laura." fake giggle

I am unsure of what to reply. "Well, Laura, it's a pleasure to meet you." I even add a fake little bow, and to top off my skillful acting, I kiss her hand. The best part is that Kagome turned a bright red. It's hilarious! She looks like a beet with a suntan. After some more titters from Laura, I say in a bright and cheerful manner, "Why don't we all sit down, aye?"

Since no one would deny me even if they wanted to, everyone chorused their agreement and we claimed a table. It was quite difficult of me to sound bright and perky with the hostility and resentment hanging over the table like the ominous mistletoe everyone was trying to avoid. "So…" I say, always a great conversation starter.

"Sooo…what?" Kagome replied.

I smack my head. "No, fool. When someone says 'so,' you're supposed to say, 'OMFG! LYK YESTERDAY ME AND THIS GUY WERE LYK SOOOO…etc.'"

Everyone stared at me. Including those not at our table.

I added hastily, "I was demonstrating an example, folks, not stating what I really did."

Everyone turns back around and resumes business.

Now Kagome's not the only one glaring at me. "Um, I think this is when I should go now." Slowly I inch away from the table. I make a break for it, achieving three steps before Kagome grabs me.

"Not so fast, mister," she hisses. "You are coming back right now and behaving yourself or ELSE."

"Oh yeah? Or else what?" I reply in a smarmy tone.

"The s-i-t word…" She waited to let the threat draw out.

"Yes ma'am!" I saluted her smartly before following her back to the table, where I sat meekly. Conversations took on a sophisticated turn as Laura and Ean argued over who made more money on their modeling jobs.

"I do, of course!" Laura declared. "I mean, like, my costumes are so much more expensive, so like, the price adds up since I get to keep them."

Even Miroku winced at that one.

"Well, you know what?" Ean retorts. "I even have competition for me. Bids go up by thousands for magazines that want to feature me."

"Thousands of what? Pennies?"

Unfortunately for Laura, I don't think she knows that even thousands of pennies could be substantial. But that was a fairly decent retort from someone whose IQ is probably lower than my debt rate. That's right, in the negatives.

Ean even had to think a moment before replying. "At least they're American pennies."

It was so quiet that one could have heard Shesso-maru breathe. Now that's quiet. The rest of the room, though, continued chattering as though nothing happened.

"Er…all right. Continuing on, why don't we order dinner?" I clapped my hands and the music stopped. I stood up. "Dinner is served."

The lights came on and waiters and waitresses swept out from the sides. I opened my own menu and said, "What would you like to order?" Perusing it carefully, I commented, "The roasted pheasant looks good. And perhaps some cocktail shrimp to go with it? Oh waiter!" I waved to one, who arrived quickly.

"Yes, sir?"

"I'd like the roasted pheasant and some cocktail shrimp."

"Right away, sir." He scribbled down my order on his notepad in some bizarre waiter shorthand.

"And drinks, sir?"

"Meh…Red wine for me."

The waiter was intelligent enough not to mention underage drinking. "And sir's companions?"

"Sprite, and the swordfish medley," Kagome said immediately.

"Orange soda, and a steak. Medium rare," Sango said after some perusal.

"Gimme a beer, hamburger and fries," Miroku declared.

Laura sniffed. "I am on a diet. I think I'll go with just a salad and diet Pepsi."

Ean snorted. "Diet my ass. What you need is lyposuction."

Everyone but Laura covered their faces with their hands to hide a chuckle. I, however, had to disguise outright laughter. "Ahem…" I cleared by throat. Many of my comments seemed to be ending in ellipses. I must do something about that soon. "Since food will take some while, Kagome and I shall go and lead a few dances. May I?" I bowed, taking her hand.

"If you must," she said with what I thought was a little bit too much disdain.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that the four of them were avoiding each other as if they all had some sort of disease. I grinned. I love being annoying. It's one of my more attractive features, if I do say so myself.

Here's an example of me executing my most skillful seducing.

InuYasha: Yo, whassup?

Girl: What's your problem?

InuYasha: Nuthin' jus wanna hang wit mah homies tonight. But ya know, if you ain't up for nuthin I'd love to—

Girl: (Whips up machine gun) 'Scuse me? Whatchoo t'ink you are? Some ghetto wannabe?

InuYasha: That's EXACTLY what I am

Girl: (starts shooting wildly) I'LL SHOW YOU WHATCHOO ARE YOU FUCKING…

InuYasha: This is where I slip away tactfully and find a date somewhere else.

Some piano virtuoso was playing a song by Beethoven, Moonlight Sonata or something to that effect. Jeez. I must get that DJ back on. Guiding Kagome towards the center of the floor, I turned around and snapped my fingers. The elegant piano music was instantly replaced with—"WHAT? Get this OFF!" I exclaimed incredulously, protesting at the DJ's horrid choice of playing I'm Too Sexy.

Kagome laughed. "What, you too sexy to dance to this song?"

Even though she was being sarcastic, I glared at her anyway. "Yes, I do believe I am," I replied with a toss of my hair.

Pushing me, she said, "Gimme a break, idiot. Let's go eat. The waiters have arrived."

"Sounds good."

The rest of the evening passed by with nothing too eventful. Except by the end, Miroku and Sango were slowdancing and Ean and Laura were having an insult contest. Which was rather one sided. But I couldn't tell in whose favor. Not it's preparation for Christmastime. With the New Year will come my case. After a nice, family filled Christmas, and a couple of uneventful nightschool courses, I will begin prepping for my case. See you all in my next diary entry!

A/N-yeah, yeah, it's next year. But the planned party date was November 18th, which is when I was at that section. His life will speed up. I might as well use this handy dandy thing as my own "diary." So, look forward to a nighttime course, slamming teachers, and failing exams in a later chapter to parallel my own school life and the exams I just got back. So if the grades are good, well, InuYasha will be in a good mood and get good grades. But if my grades are bad, well, let's just say that rampaging demons are best avoided. Please, though, don't wish for bad grades for me. Crap. 86 in Cell Bio, 83 in Geometry Honors, 91 in History and 94 in Basic Design. DAMN! Everything but Cell Bio brought my grades down! Review and make me feel better! Wink, wink, nudge, nudge Ean is an awesome name. Good thing Sango's new 'friend' actually has brains, or else I wouldn't have wasted the name on him. NOTE: I realize there are tense shifts. In the previous chapters, he has combined his journal entries with real life, thus involving him writing down things that are happening now. However, soon enough, he will write his time with the psychiatrist in past tense, and what happens now in present. Plus this one is rather hopeless with tense shifts…some things just sound right in present tense. Muahahahahahaha! I just saw the InuYasha movie—Affections Touching Across Time or something equally corny. But very excellent. I'm not done yet, but I like what I saw. I am SO sorry it took me…what? 4-5 months to update. OH! Yes. About the song…I always thought it was funny; wrong, but funny. ;-) Jeez. The story seems to have become so dirty! And all my friends (myself included) always thought I was a good kid. I blame it on R-rated HP fanfics and two friends of mine who are juniors.