Disclaimer: I own nothing, except some really twisted thoughts, an O-zone CD and a bottle of vodka. But that's another story…

Warnings for this chapter: Smut, Lemon, Yaoi…whatever you want to call it, it's there. Strong possibility of typos inserted after Beta-ing and bad writing. First time attempt at writing smut (while still keeping it 'R'!)- so you HAVE been warned.

Blue Eyes, Cold Heart

Chapter Five

Finally, Jou was alone. In Kaiba's house. A few meters away from his room. In the distance the stair creaked as the maid that had escorted him to the top floor made her way back into the gloomy depths.

He stood and stared at the slit of light that was trickling through the small crack of the third door on the left. He examined it for a few minutes, after which a thought occurred to him.

Why didn't the maid just give me my duel disk?

Then he remembered. The maid said Kaiba had been expecting him.

He took a few steps towards the door, paused, and took a few more.

He was inches away now. He started to reach out, when he heard the creak of a body moving around in bed. Jou should have realised that maybe even the workaholic Seto Kaiba might take a rest when illness struck. The idea of finding the brunette sprawled in his (probably king size) bed should have been a tempting one, but instead Jou started to feel incredibly embarrassed.

He screwed his eyes shut, grabbed the handle to keep the door steady and knocked. He grimaced at how loud the noise sounded as it boomed through the silent house.

'Yes?' came a muffled voice in reply. Jou pushed the door open slightly and peered round. He diverted his gaze to the smooth, polished oak floor. He felt eyes upon him, questioning his presence.

'I, well…the maid, duel disk…she said, um…' he spluttered as an answer to the unspoken question. He felt himself blush and concentrated on an elaborately carved chair in the far corner of the room.

'Oh,' the voice drawled. 'It's you.'

'Yeah, it's me. Do ya know where my-'

'Come in, make yourself at home,' he interrupted. Jou didn't need to look up to see the smirk scrawled across the sharp features of the bedridden Kaiba. He could feel it. He cast a hurried glance across the large, bright room, running his eyes over expensive looking furniture and an oppressively tidy desk. In the middle of the desk lay an open sketchbook bearing neat pencil marks that mapped out the design for a more efficient portable holographic device, complete with notes; but the writings and drawings gave him no clue as to the whereabouts of his own duel-disk.

'Looking for something?' Kaiba asked, smiling coldly.

'Duh.' Jou answered scathingly. He tried to feign disinterest as the bright blue eyes observed him apathetically. He wasn't doing too well.

Kaiba was sitting up in his large, white-sheeted bed, a book and various papers resting in his lap. He didn't look ill, but appeared to be only slightly paler than usual. As if on cue, he coughed loudly and pointedly in the blonde's direction.

'And here was I, thinking you might actually want to pay me a visit to see how I was.' He sighed in mock disappointment. He coughed again, glaring for a second at Jou, then turning slightly to look out of the window. He crossed his arms and leant back.

His expression changed suddenly. He focused on something faraway and inhaled deeply, his face darkening with what seemed to be worry. Jou forced himself to stand back and observe this abrupt change in mood with a sick curiosity. He wanted to sit beside Seto and he wanted to comfort him. Yet he knew not to.

Don't fall for his little games Jounouchi. He's trying to win your pity so he can throw it back in your face. Again.

He felt a little angry as he continued to observe the charade. He was angry at Kaiba for playing the same game once again. He was angry at himself for noticing how Seto's dark blue night-shirt was unbuttoned at the top, exposing a glimmer a milky-white skin.

Jou shifted uncomfortably, making the floor creak. It was that kind of squealing creak that made one's skin crawl and shudder. He scratched his neck and stared at the sun-dappled curtains for a few seconds. He shifted his weight again and found the floorboard to be blamed for the ear-bleeding noise. He stepped on it again a few times, but the other was still gazing intently at the far-away nothing.

'Seto,' Jou breathed softly. Kaiba turned to face him again, eyes ablaze and accusing. He was aware of having crossed an intimate line he should have stayed well away from. Nevertheless, he continued to speak.

'I can't even begin to fathom why ya asked you maid to bring me up here, or why you're playing this stupid mind game to try and get my attention.' Blue eyes continued to bore into him, as if trying to reach into his heart and tear it out. Jou started to feel extremely uncomfortable. He stared back.

'So...' he tested, 'why don't you just give me my duel disk, so I can go home and forget anything ever happened, so you and I can both pretend we have ordinary lives where normal things happen.'

An uncomfortable silence followed. Jou's words seemed to echo aimlessly around the room and he knew he'd said the wrong thing. He envisioned the book by Kaiba's hand suddenly flying through the air and aiming for his muddled blonde head. But of course it didn't, which was almost as bad.

If it wasn't for his remaining scratch of dignity, Jou would have thrown himself at Kaiba's feet and asked for some kind of mercy. Instead, he continued to endure the scrutinizing glare of the boy who was intent on driving him crazy. Kaiba drew his lips back with some kind of grim determination, looking like he was fighting some kind of inner battle.

'No,' he said at last, finally taking his eyes of Jou.

'No what?'

'No. I won't pretend what happened was normal, Katsuya.' He spoke in a low voice that was almost on the edge of threatening. Jou, who had been ready to leave suddenly felt rooted to the spot.

'Nor will I pretend that either you or I are normal. We never have been.'

The voice washed over him, awakening that familiar feeling that rose inside him like hot liquid, making him agonizingly conscious of his desire to fall into the other's arms. He sneered, trying to shake the feeling out of his head.

After all, there was no hope now, was there? It's all just a stupid crush, he told himself. He hates me and doesn't give a crap about me. He just wants to use me.

Amusement sparked across the sharp features of the pale face. Once again, he had read the (confused and disarrayed) mind of the boy standing a few feet away from him.

'I know what you think.' He sighed. 'But despite myself, there's something about you…'

'Something about… me… what?' Jou questioned, feeling more confused by the second. He desperately wanted to leave and run as far as he could from the wretched room and the wretched presence, but at the same time something held him there, and somehow he knew very well what it was.

That uncomfortable stare was upon him again, destroying any common sense or willpower. He was trapped.

Right now, he didn't care. He scrambled at words with no meaning.

'W-what are you trying to say?' he tested, forcing each word out of a fog of dark lust. He fought to try and keep his head clear. He pushed and heaved at dark little thoughts as Kaiba's presence and the smell of the room— the sweet smell that belong to the owner of those scrutinizing eyes, tried to take him down and numb his thoughts. Despite all the warning and pep talks he had given himself on the way over, he felt incredibly vulnerable.

He didn't mind, either.

The other smiled hungrily, stretching slightly. Jou caught another glimpse of white skin exposed by the unbuttoned shirt. The silence grew again. It was uncomfortable, but not in the same way the other silence had been. It was a feverish discomfort that made him wriggle in his shirt and tug at the chain around his neck.

'Seto…' He tried. He wanted to tell the other something, anything to get them close again. Above all he wanted a glimpse of the rare creature that appeared to him the previous night; that amazing, awe-inspiring thing that Kaiba kept hidden within himself.

'Seto…' he called again. The other merely nodded his head slightly to acknowledge the words and to halt them.

'Sit.' Kaiba hissed, inclining his head towards a spot beside him on the bed. He smirked slightly as he silently implied the old taunt where he would call Jou a dog, or insinuate that he was a mere mutt. Jou felt a snarl forming on his lips as an instinctive response, but he stopped in it time. He walked to the bed, standing, watching, unsure of himself and looking to Kaiba for some kind of instruction.

Damn, he thought. He's done it again. He's got me right where he wants me.

'I said sit down, Katsuya.' The use of his fist name shocked him enough to bring him to perch on the edge of the bed. He diverted his eyes to the white crumpled sheet that was half-covering Kaiba's body, again trying to ignore the intense gaze that rested upon him.

'You may think this is all a game,' breathed Kaiba in a soft whisper. 'But then again, you seem to think everything is a game. So play it with me.' His whisper dropped to something that was bearable audible and definitely viperous. He moved closer to Jou, so that their faced where only a few inches away.

Jou could feel his hot breath against his cheek. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on something else but it was too hard. He was enjoying this more than he should— in fact, he was relishing it. The idea of being controlled by Seto became more and more appealing.

'You're delirious.' He muttered softly, brushing blonde strands out of his face.

'Whatever.'

A wisp of Kaiba's hair brushed against Jou's cheek, igniting more of those unfamiliar sensations and cloudy emotions that were so absurd. His chest tensed up with something that felt like fear but was quite the opposite. He searched for something to say.

'Is...this really…a…good idea?'

'Do you ever shut up?'

'Do you ever ask nicely?'

He turned his face towards the other. He was looking into sweet oblivion and loving every moment of it. The expression, the exposure of the previous night was back and this time it burned the both of them.

'Do you think that if I had played nice I would have gotten this far?' The usual smirk widened, dancing wildly. Kaiba's face was alight with some deep energy that made Jou's breath catch in his throat. Kaiba accepted the shocked silence as an answer and as an incentive. A confident hand reached across the breathless space and ghosted across his face and to his neck. Jou lent in a little father, their faces impossibly close.

Again, the silence filled the air with tension. Each was watching the other, waiting for the other to make a move. Jou could hear papers beside them begin to crumple and fold as they were pushed aside, something that would have usually annoyed Kaiba immensely. He could see a slight flush across pale cheekbones, and noticed that Kaiba's breathing was also unsteady. His eyes darted left and right, calculating, careful and yet alive with a passion so strong that it drowned out everything else.

It was as if they had been removed from the cold bright room and thrown into some lost place where the concept of time was lost. Gone was the hazy sunshine washing through the thin curtains; it was replaced with uncontrollable need for 'something' to happen. Forgotten were the scrawled notes and complicated marks on the paper and the slight creak of wood re-settling after the added presence on the bed was ignored.

Jou was reminded of the dream, the fantasy…the constant thoughts that had plagued him the last couple of days. Their starkness and clarity was repeated now, but it all seemed irrelevant in the face of this unimaginable situation.

He reached out for the hand that had just moved over his face, and dared to lightly brush his finger across the ridges of knuckle and down into the valleys of the soft skin between long fingers. The other tensed momentarily, surprised.

The game had begun. Kaiba clenched his fingers tightly and roughly pulled Jou towards him, so that their thighs were touching through the cool sheets. He could feel the pulse inside of the long fingers wrapped so tightly around his. He responded, pulling the hand back towards his face.

He licked one pale finger; he slipped his tongue over it, across the soft padded tip and over the point where the bones joined. He used his tongue to lift the finger slightly, and slipped it into his mouth. He bit down softly. Kaiba seemed to shiver slightly, biting his own lip to control his own desire. Jou swept his gaze upward, watching blue eyes imprisoned behind floppy chestnut bangs and dark eyelashes.

Jou was fascinated by the affect of lust on seemingly the emotionless Kaiba. The hand that wasn't holding Jou's was digging into the sheets, almost clawing at them. His expression wore both frustration and uttermost control at the same time. He was trying so hard to hide it, but little things kept giving it away.

'Not so composed now, are we?' Jou tempted with a wicked grin to mirror the avid, hungry smirk. Kaiba's eyes flashed furiously. He grabbed the blonde by the shoulders and pushed him back. An angry snarl erupted from his throat and he thrust himself forward so that his body-weight was pressing down upon Jou, who gasped and felt his heart leap uncontrollably.

'Fuck.' He whispered as his heart settled into rhythm again.

Kaiba leant down and placed his mouth next to Jou's ear.

'If you want,' he mouthed.

Jou felt his face reddening, unsure whether it was because of the unbearable heat or whether it had been the fault of those half-heard words that had snaked their way in his understanding. This opened up a whole new set of dilemmas, but they only occupied his attention briefly. An invisible hand was clutching at his throat and he realised he was holding his breath.

He felt a trickle of sweat work its way down the side of his temple. He blinked and focused on the body poised above him. The pale face smiled slyly, and sheets were thrown aside to liberate limbs. The paper and books tumbled to the floor, leaving a soft flutter in their wake. Kaiba straddled Jou, his smile growing larger by the second.

Jou was suddenly pinned down. He realised that one arm was still free and almost instinctively, he went to push the towering presence away.

His hands touched exposed flesh and he stopped in his tracks. The skin was lightly glowing with tiny beads of sweat and the heat emanating from the body almost burned him. He ran his fingers across the collar bone and found that his hand had come to rest just above where the shirt was buttoned again. Kaiba was watching him, daring him to undo the next button.

Jou did. He glanced at Kaiba's face sheepishly and noticed the intense look of disapproval drawn across his features. He undid the next button, and the next, until the other was open-shirted. He ran his free hand down the centre of the exposed chest. An eyebrow was raised in response and removing his other hand from Jou's shoulder, he began to do the same with Jou's newly rumpled grey shirt.

He shrugged it off, glad of the some cool air upon his skin. The heat emanating from the other body was potent enough to create a certain brand of discomfort that in it's self wasn't that unpleasant. It was coupled with the cool silken feel of top quality bed-sheets, giving enough sensation to bring every hair on Jou's body to stand upon end, and to make him shiver slightly with pleasure.

'Are…you sure you've not got a fever?' Jou asked, trying to dispel the tension.

Kaiba didn't bother with an answer. Instead he bent down and kissed Jou fiercely, slipping his arms under his lean back to bring him closer. A strange flame licked deep inside Jou's abdomen, in the same way that the other's tongue was licking at his mouth and relishing the parted lips. Jou responded, slowly aware of that tight and frustrating feeling that was growing between his thighs. He arched upwards, straining against the other bodyweight, gasping as every sensitive part of his anatomy ground erotically into Kaiba's body.

A hand pushed between them, hurriedly touching Jou wherever it could reach him. It was frantic, rough and unforgiving. It made Jou groan loudly. He twitched as it reached between his legs and grazed him through the stiff material. He whined and gulped down the air around him, but he still felt as if he was chocking in ecstasy.

Then, the weight was off of him and hands were fumbling at the zipper of his jeans. He kicked them off of him, unaware of how naked he really was. All that concerned him right now was the pleasure as it spread through him like some viral disease. He couldn't even tell if he was conscious or dreaming. He could only question those feelings and let them expand through him.

This…this is what I've wanted for so long.

A keen tongue traced over his bare chest. He barely noticed its presence expect from the sensation it left in its wake. His eyes were rolling frantically and he may have been writhing around on the bed, because one arm came to rest across his chest to keep him still.

Why didn't I realise this before?

There was a bite at his neck, just painful enough to be sensual. Then there more, edging lower and lower, alternating with kisses and lustful licks. Kaiba was touching Jou in any way he could, concentrating especially on the most sensitive part of the blonde's body, allowing his fingers to become entangled with the rough hair and teasing with fingernails.

Why have I waited so long for this? Why have we waited so long when we both knew?

They were neither the caresses of love nor the crude explorations of young lust, but expertly chosen manoeuvres to arouse and taunt the one who was subjected to it all. He felt more than he imagined possible, enjoyed more than he could possibly understand.

My gods…

'Seto,' he called out weakly, 'I want…'

'Shh. Don't talk, don't say a word,' the other interjected with a growl. 'I know what you want already.' He sighed and resumed his position, working himself around the blonde, experiencing every part of him. He lowered himself between parted legs and gently pushed them apart.

Jou threw his head back and almost yelled at the sensation. He lost that foggy state of mind and suddenly everything came into focus; the heat, the friction, the wetness of a tongue doing more than it was invented for. The smell of arousal filled his lungs and he moaned and gasped and knew somehow that the other was smirking as he worked his clever tongue in impossibly tantalising ways.

Before he knew what was happening, Kaiba had risen from his work and was facing him. His expression would have struck fear into his heart at any other time, but for now he saw what he had seen the previous night, and he felt his whole self smile and rejoice as pent-up energy was released. He felt relief, as if his soul was stretching into a new-found freedom.

'Are you ready?' he asked in husky tones, shaking damp strands of chestnut hair out of his eyes. Jou didn't answer, unsure of what ready was. He felt his lip tremble and his eyes focused on the naked state of the body opposite him.

He realised what it all meant and gasped. He felt scared, yet, there was no way he was going to stop it.

Pain for pleasure. He thought wildly. Even then, he allowed his legs to be parted further, and he allowed himself to be pushed back down into soft pillows that bore the light scent of some unremarkable detergent mixed with musk. Pale lips temptingly licked his.

'I promise it won't hurt much…'

Jou laughed sardonically. 'And what's a promise from you worth?'

There was no answer. Only the fog that slowly returned to cloud his rational self as Kaiba worked and prepared him, and with it, an awareness of some kind of sensation that was both pain and pleasure, love and hate.

But above all, it was absolute.

A/N 1 : Please don't kill me, just beat me with sticks.

A/N 2 : I updated! Oh goodness, what an event! Well, blame all the work I've had to cope with. Thanks again to Kiki Jones for being a great beta person and sorting this chapter out- a process I probably spoiled by then adding more words which are probably a)stoopid, b)wrong, or c)typos. Please...err...ignore them, and thank Kiki for at least making it readable. :)