A/N: Well, here is the next chapter. Uh, so everyone is all psyched to work at Burger Hovel, so here is what happens when they realize that 5 people aren't enough to run a restaurant.

Chapter Two: It takes...a lot more than 2 to run a restaurant!

Well, things start off rather well for our Burger Hovel crew. Their restaurant is in a perfect location. But, suddenly, Sam points out the awful truth that even Aragorn can't deny.

"Uh, not to be rude or anything, but we can't run a restaurant on only 5 people. It can't be done." Sam says.

"Really, you small, senseless, immature, FAT little hobbit? Well, if your SMALL brain hasn't noticed, I have set Arwen to the task of running up a newspaper ad! We're putting it in the Gondor Tribune." Aragorn says, and he is crabby because he hasn't had his morning coffee.

"No need to be so mean about it...." Sam says, walking off and going to cry in a corner.

"Aww, don't be sad, Sammy-boy! Let Uncle Boromir wipe away your tears!" Boromir says. (A/N: FYI, this is the second time in a fic that Bori has said those exact words. I seem to find it funny if Bori says that.)

"Wha...what?" Sam asks, tears streaming down his pudgy but still cute face.

"I said....." Boromir starts, but then.....

"AWW, STOP IT ALREADY!! YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!" Aragorn screams, throwing his morning paper at Boromir.

"Wait...you're not my uncle!" Sam says.

"I'm your...uh...third uncle, twice removed on your mother's side." Boromir says.

"And no one, NO ONE, ever, EVER calls me Sammy-boy. The last time someone did, and this was Frodo, mind, I had Gollum bite off his finger! See, that's what he got! Do you want a sad, sick little dude who wears only a loin cloth to come and bite off your finger?" Sam asks.

"No, no, Sammy- b—I mean, Sam." Boromir says, shrinking back.

"Honey pie!!! The ad is finished!!!" Arwen calls in a sing-song-y voice.

"Really? Let's see it!" Aragorn says, standing up.

"Can I read it, honey?" Arwen asks.

"Of course, Popkins!" Aragorn says.

"Ahem. 'Looking for a new job? Need money to buy that denim mini-skirt? How 'bout savings for that souped up Corvette in that car sales place? Well, look no further! Burger Hovel will answer to your calls for money and work. Located in the place where once stood Theoborn's Burger Hole, Burger Hovel offers a great salary rate. Here is one of our future employees who have already jumped on the bandwagon: 'I used to think that working in a fast- food chain was boring. But now, I have all the money I want!'. So, come on down to Burger Hovel, where great people, great food, and great service meet great times.'" Arwen reads.

"Whoa...." Says Faramir, who has been standing behind a counter.

"Honey snuggles...." Aragorn starts. "THAT WAS BRILLIANT!!!"

"Thank you, pookie-bear!" Arwen says.

"Eew." Say Faramir, Boromir, and Sam.

"That's disgusting." Says Boromir.

"Hey, do that in private!!!" Sam yells.

"Hey, studmuffin, shut up!" Aragorn says.

"Studmuffin?" asks Boromir.

"Yeah! This little hobbit's a studmuffin. What, you have, like, 13 kids?" Aragorn asks.

"Uh...." Says Sam, going red.

"How 'bout we drop this conversation?" Faramir asks.

"Ok, looser, whatever you say." Aragorn says.

"Looser?"

"Yeah. Eowyn's been complaining to me about how you ignore her all the time. She's filing for divorce!" Aragorn says.

"We weren't even married!" Faramir yells.

"Oh, she told me about that night in Vegas, man. What, how bad did you scr-- ." Aragorn starts.

"Aragorn! Not in a PG fic!" Arwen says.

"Sorry."

"Night in Vegas?" Faramir asks.

"Yeah. You got married in the Temple of Love, or something like that." Aragorn says, smirking.

"I never..." Faramir says, going a violent shade of red.

"Oh, yeah? Why does she have a ring on, then?" Aragorn says.

"Engagement ring!" Faramir protests.

"Oh, sure. Were you too drunk to remember that night?" Aragorn says, nearly laughing.

"I never drank anything on that trip!!" Faramir says.

"So you did go on a trip?"

"Well, yeah, we went to Nevada and Utah." Faramir says.

"Las Vegas, Nevada?"

"NO!! RENO!!" Faramir screams.

"Well, just telling you, when you get home and she's gone, remember who warned you. If you have a home, that is." Aragorn says.

"What do you.... No! She didn't file for the house!!" Faramir says.

"Yeppers." Aragorn says, shaking with silent laughter. Boromir is rolling on the floor.

"Wait...t-till.... I.... t-t-tell.... D-D-D-Dad!!" He says in-between violent bursts of the giggles.

"Dad is dead!!!" Faramir says, looking horrified.

"And I was dead, too." Boromir says. "Your point?"

"I always was a faliure. I couldn't ever do anything right. Now, my love life is ruined. What's next? Maybe I'll get hit by lightning and then die! Farewell, cruel world!!" Faramir screams, sinking to his knees.

"Hey, Romeo, don't get your hopes up." Boromir says, very insensitively. Brotherly love, eh? Not real love, ya wackos!

"NOOOOO!!!" Faramir says, running out of the building and screaming his head off.

"He's still gonna manage the place?" Arwen asks.

"Yep. Don't wanna make it worse for the poor devil, do we?" Aragorn asks.

"No."

"Well, call the papers! We've got an ad to run!!"

A/N: Well, no offense if anyone's parents are divorced, I just thought it'd be funny if Faramir and Eowyn broke up. And got married in Vegas. Heee. And, Theoborn is a combo of Theoden and Celeborn, who were previous owners of the location. So, anyway, review, because I need to write more of this crazy story. This is probably the craziest one I've written. Whoo! Review!! Signing off from Burger Hovel---Anduril