A/N: As promised, the job interviews of Eowyn and Denethor. Included: Much being-mean-to-Faramir and lots of pansy jokes. Well, Sam G. is cooking lots of Burgers for y'all who review! And I know you all want a Burger cooked by our little studmuffin.
Chapter Four: Of Stewards and Shieldmaidens
"Ok, Boromir, who's our next applicant?" Aragorn asks.
"Whoa. Applicant is in your vocabulary?" Boromir asks, shocked.
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"Because only sons of Stewards and noble people, like myself, have had the proper schooling to use such, erm, big...words." Boromir says, looking at Aragorn's face, which is getting redder and redder.
"What, you dead freak?"
"Sure, pick on the dead guy..."
"Well, who's applying?"
"We have...."
Faramir walks into the room.
"I'm the manager, and I'm having a say in this." He says, walking over to Aragorn.
"Fine."
"Uh, Aragorn, the person is getting impatient." Boromir says.
"Well? Show them in!"
"Ok. We have Eowyn Dernhelm, Shieldmaiden of Rohan." Boromir says. Faramir's face has gone an unearthly shade of pale.
"E...E...E...Eowyn?" he sputters.
"Yeah." Aragorn says, looking a bit happy.
"No one told me you were going to be working here." Eowyn says, looking at Faramir.
"Well, fine. Don't work here if you don't want to see me."
"Oh, I want to see you...dead."
"That's nice."
"Sure is. Just like how you left me at the altar."
"I never..."
"When you did remember, you then left me in Cancun for our honeymoon!"
"Did not!"
"And then you left me at the rest area in Minnesota!"
"Nuh-uh!"
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Well, fine. But you never even gave me a proper engagement ring, just one from the 25 cent toy machine!"
"I went to Helzburg Diamonds to get that!"
"Oh, sure."
"Yeah? Well, I did, so there!"
"Uh, guys can we stop fighting?" Aragorn asks, as Eowyn looks daggers at him.
"Fine."
"Fine."
"Good. Now, what position?" Aragorn asks.
"Drive through operator."
"Fine. Just so I can get to the next person." Aragorn says.
"Thanks, you cool dude!" Eowyn says, giving Aragorn a kiss to make Faramir jealous.
"NEXT!"
In walks Denethor.
"ARGH!!!" Faramir screams.
"YES!" Screams Boromir.
"DIE!!" Screams Denethor.
"ARGH!"
"What can I do for you, Former Steward?" Aragorn asks.
"Can I be your mascot? Every restaurant needs a mascot." Denethor says.
"A mascot?"
"Hey, dad? Weren't you McDenethor at your old place?" Boromir interjects.
"McDenethor?" Asks Aragorn.
"A clown." Denethor explains.
"You still look like one.." Faramir says.
"What, you idiotic son of mine?"
"Nothing father."
"Yeah, didn't you work there?" Aragorn asks, suspicious.
"Well, it wasn't called McDenethor's for no reason!" Denethor beams.
"O...k.... Uh, we didn't have a mascot lined up..." Aragorn says.
"Here! Burgy Burger! The mascot!" Denethor shrieks. Faramir is so shocked to see his dad alive and kicking that he falls off his chair. Denethor kicks him—hard—in the side to see if he's alive.
"Is this useless lump alive?" Denethor asks, still kicking. Boromir joins in. Rocks come flying down from the ceiling to stop them. They stop.
"Uh..."
"Well, can I have the job?" Denethor asks.
"I guess. I mean, since no one else wants it..." Aragorn says.
"YAY! Thanks, Aragorn!" Denethor says, hugging him.
"Get...off...me!" Aragorn says, nearly being suffocated.
"THANKS!!"
"Ergh. Another pansy." Aragorn mutters.
"I HEARD THAT!" Screams Legolas.
A/N: The End! Of this chapter. Next: Gollum and...someone. I forgot whom. Someone. Be warned! Please, Sam G. is sad that no one wants his burgers!