A/N: Welcome to Day 2 of the Burger Hovel Restaurant Empire! More people are definitely going to come in! And this chapter will be so long it'll take 20 minutes to read! Or so I hope... Whoop! Raise the ROOF!! Let's see...have fun!!

Chapter Eight: When Crazed Fan Girls Come To Burger Hovel

Aragorn has been pacing around, looking all worried. Arwen is looking at the chicken nuggets in disgust.

"Eew...eew...eew...eew!" Arwen says.

"What?" Aragorn asks.

"This chicken is RAW!" Arwen says.

"Dear lord, don't tell me we've fed our customer raw food!" Aragorn groans.

"Uh, has anyone ever learned to use a food cooker?" Arwen asks.

Blank stares greet her question.

"Oh...my...god." Arwen says.

Merry immediately runs to the janitors closet and gets the instruction manual to the previously unused cooker.

"We don't need instructions!" Boromir says, acting like every man does and disregarding the instructions.

"Are you sure you know what to do?" Pip asks.

"Sure. We just slip this cord here.... and insert this tab here.... and presto!" Boromir says.

"Wow! He did it! Well, I'll be!" Aragorn says.

Denethor beams in pride and Faramir looks like he's going to barf.

"Well done son!" Denethor says.

"I did it! I did it! Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!" Boromir says, sounding like Dory from 'Finding Nemo'.

"They say you vanquished raw food almost single-handedly!" Denethor says.

"And they sure as hell don't exaggerate!" Boromir says.

"Isn't part of this victory mine?" Faramir asks.

"Uh, no!" Boromir says.

"Great." Faramir says, sulking.

"AAA!! I'LL KILL HIM WITH MY BARE HANDS! I'LL DO IT SINGLE-HANDELY!" Eowyn yells, tearing out of the janitor's closet.

"Eek! Crazed shield-maiden on the loose!" Aragorn screams, as everyon hides under tables.

Eowyn runs around, looking like a lunatic.

"What's in her bean curd?" Asks Sam.

"What's bean curd?" Asks Pippin.

"I don't know." Sam says.

"Why was she in the janitor's closet?"

"I don't know!" Sam says, rather impatiently.

"Where's Elrond?"

At his name, Elrond jumps out of the janitor's closet.

"Hi, mortals!" Elrond says.

"Look, just because you're immortal doesn't mean you rub it in!" Pip says.

"Oh, who cares." Elrond says, mopping up the floor. There's nothing on it. He's just weird like that.

Faramir has been moping in the corner.

"I hate my life, I hate my work, I hate my family..." He says.

"Oh, save it for the jury!" Boromir snaps.

"That was cold."

Suddenly, as Arwen lowers a chicken nugget into the cooker, a loud rumbling noise is heard.

"Oh, no! Oliphaunts!" Arwen screams. "Hey! That's not it!" Legolas says, leaning over the cooker.

"Don't!" Pippin screams, but it is too late.

The cooker erupts in a violent burst of hot oil and fat. A volcanic sized force shoots upwards—and into Legolas's face.

"Aiii! My beautiful face! My beautiful Elvish face!!" he screams.

Haldir, who has been peacefully napping in a corner (a.k.a. the authoress has forgotten about him) wakes up and bursts into a mad fit of the Snargles.

"Are you...Snargling?" Denethor asks.

"What's Snargling?" Asks Merry.

"Well, it's the sound of chocking on one's own phlegm from laughing at the foolish mistake of another." Pippin says.

"How'd you know that?"

"Being in Minas Tirith with Denethor has its weird moments." Pip says.

"I think that Snargling is very undignified." Faramir says, then goes back to his sad lamentations.

Legolas has been running around like a chicken with his head cut off, then rushes into the bathroom and splashes his face with cold water, and the swelling goes down.

"What's a Snargle sound like?" Asks Sam.

Gollum does his freaky cough.

"Kind of like this, but you add more phlegm and you have to feel like you're going to drown in your own phlegm." Denethor adds.

"Ohhh!" Sam exclaims.

Elrond has been busy mopping up the oil. He has a kerchief on his head and looks like a biker—or at least a wanna be biker. Or a rapper, as pointed out by Sam later.

"Yo, homies, what's chillin'?" Elrond asks.

"How bout you stop talking like you're a wanna be rapper?" Sam suggests.

"Fine." Elrond sighs. "Party spoilers."

"Oh, save it for the high priest!" Boromir yells.

"The priest is high?" Elrond asks.

"NO!! The leader of the priests!" Boromir says.

"Leadership..." Faramir mutters, then continues to lament.

Suddenly, the bell on the door rings as a man and a woman step inside.

"Welcome to Burger Hovel, preciousss cussstomersss. We welcomesss you!" Gollum says.

The lady looks at Gollum warily.

"You hasss nice tassste in ssshoesss, madam, yesss. Tasssty feet, yesss." Gollum says, picking up her sandaled foot.

"Let go of my foot!" the lady screams.

"Sssorry, kind lady." Gollum says, then shrinks away.

"Hi. What can I do for you?" Legolas, the cashier, asks. He is wearing a black and white striped shirt and black and white striped pants.

"Uh, we'd like two medium icees, two burgers, and one order of chicken nuggets." The man says.

"Ok. Ordering, I need two freezerburns, two dirtburgers, and an order of funky chickens!" Legolas screams.

"And can we have some hash?" The man adds.

"Sweep the kitchen!" Legolas adds.

"Erm...."

Suddenly, the food appears.

"My, you have speedy service." The woman says.

"May I seat you, sir and madam?" Haldir asks.

"Oh, of course." The man says.

Haldir, in his tux, yes, he now has a tux, leads the two to a table.

"Thank you." The woman says.

"My pleasure." Haldir says, putting on the Haldirian sneer.

Suddenly, the door opens as two teenaged girls walk in.

"OHMIGOD!!! THAT'S LEGOLAS!!" The one, boobtubesngrass, screams.

"It's PIPPIN!!!!" Screams the other, PopcornLeader.

"I don't believe it..." Sam mutters. "They've found us!"

"Hey! Legolas, can I have a kiss?" boobtubesngrass asks.

"Erm, no!" Legolas says, backing away from the counter. A look of panic is on his face.

"GAH!!" Eowyn screams, jumping on the customers.

"Off!" they yell.

"Eowyn, you need anger management!" Arwen says.

"FINE!" And with that, Eowyn walked out to start anger management classes.

"Can I have a drink?" Asks PopcornLeader, wandering over to where Pippin is.

And without anyone seeing, she grabs Pippin and takes him into Elrond's janitor closet! With Elrond in it.

"HEY! PUNKS!!" Screams Elrond, who has been sipping Miller Light and watching the TV.

"Elrond! You supported Bud Light in the President of Beers campaign!" Pippin says, shocked.

"Yeah, so?" Elrond says, leaving. This is a dangerous spot for Pip, alone in a closet with PopcornLeader.

Meanwhile, outside...

"Can I dance?" Asks Legolas. "Sure I can dance!"

"Will you dance with me?" Asks boobtubesngrass.

"Fine!" Legolas sighs, looking happy and distressed.

"Ok. What would you like to dance?" asks Merry, who is going to DJ.

"Something with rhythm!" Says Legolas, as the Macarena comes on!

"Whoop! GO Legolas, it's your birthday!" screams Denethor, who receives the Look of Death.

Meanwhile, in the Closet...

"Can I stuff you in my bag and take you away?" Asks PopcornLeader.

"NO! I like it here." Pip says.

"Can I steal you from these evil people?"

"NO!"

"But these people all think you're dumb! Come with me! You're not stupid! You're rather intelligent and smart!" PopcornLeader says.

"Really?"

"Yes, my little Hobbit hottie!"

"Erm, sorry, but no."

"Well, can you get up? You're smashing my foot." Says PopcornLeader.

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Ok." Pip gets up and fumbles around in the closet.

"Why did Elrond turn off the lights?" PopcornLeader asks.

"Because he's crazy." Pip says matter-of-factly.

"Oh." PopcornLeader says, like that explains it all.

The two stumble out of the closet.

"FARAMIR!!" Yells PopcornLeader, running to him after seeing him all alone in the corner.

"NO!!!" Yells a voice from on-high.

"Leave me alone! Alone...." Faramir says.

"Gasp! Faramir! You don't mean that!" PopcornLeader says.

"No, I don't! Want a...."

"Sure!" PopcornLeader says, thinking he will say 'kiss'. These weirdos, huh?

"Ok!" Faramir gets up and goes to make an icee.

"What?" PopcornLeader asks.

"GET OUT!!!" Yells Aragorn.

Legolas quickly drops boobtubesngrass, running behind the counter.

Pippin looks slightly confused, and scratches his head.

Faramir is standing there with a lemon icee in his hand.

"OUT!!" Aragorn screams.

Elrond chases them out with a broom.

"Eek!" The girls scream, as they are chased from the restaurant.

"That was weird."

"I never finished my dance!" Legolas whines.

And so, with that, mass insanity started at Burger Hovel...

A/N: If you would like a cameo appearance, please notify me! I will stick you in.... So, review and get put in the insanity!! Ha!! Just type 'Put me in!' and I will do my best.... And write a nice juicy review to go with it!