Zero: Welcome to chapter 4 of Nobody Saw That. Dream is currently...preoccupied...so I'll be introducing the chapter today.
Dream: (in a storage closet tied and gagged)
Zero: Today we're broadening our horizons and providing you with bloopers from stories other than When Good Dog Shows Go Fox. We hope that you'll enjoy these bloopers just as much as you've enjoyed the previous bloopers. Be aware that for the sake of keeping things up to date, some of the names have been changed in the bloopers from the early fanfics.
Dream: (starts gnawing on the gag to try and get free)
Zero: And now, I'll say the disclaimer. Yu Yu Hakusho and its characters belong to Yoshihiro Togashi. Flash, Lioness, and Terminator belong to Winter –iel –o burzum. Hinote, Vladimir, and Tundra belong to EternalBlackNight. All other characters and the story ideas belong to Dream unless otherwise noted.
(snaps one of those scene announcer thingies)
Echoes in the Wind – Act 14, Scene 3: Gimme a Hug!
Harmony closed her eyes. "By any chance, did your father have silver dragon wings and a silver tail that was cut off at the end?"
"Yes…how did you know?"
"Because I was the one that cut off his tail…"
Thorn's eyes widened, "What? WHY?"
Harmony kept her eyes closed, "He killed them…"
"Killed who…?"
"My family and the other Mist Mountain Kitsune. He killed them all." Harmony's voice remained calm.
Youko wrapped his arms around her, "Phantom…"
"CUT!" Harmony yelled, pulling away from Youko.
The director growled, "What's wrong now?"
"I can't do this scene." Harmony crossed her arms stubbornly.
"Why not?" questioned the director, rubbing his forehead in exasperation.
Harmony pointed at Youko, "I don't like him."
"You...don't...like...me...?" Youko whimpered.
Harmony kept pointing at Youko while looking at the director. "Fix this. Make it better. Then I'll do this scene."
"You're so hurtful!" Youko whined before running off to sulk in a corner.
The director groaned, "And just how are we supposed to 'fix' Youko and make him better?"
"Oh! I know what to do!" Flash yelled before running off.
"I fear for my sanity. I really do." The director said to his assistant.
A few minutes later, Flash returned dragging Vladimir with her. She had somehow forced him into Youko's clothes. She had managed to make fake silver fox ears stick out from his crimson hair and attach a fake silver fox tail to the back of his clothes. His hair was brushed aside so that both his golden eyes were visible. She pushed the confused vampire next to Harmony. Harmony immediately clung to his arm with a smile, her tail wagging slightly behind her in happiness.
"What am I doing here?" Vlad asked.
Flash pointed at the sulking Youko, "Harmony rejected Youko so you're here to fill in for him."
"In case you haven't noticed, my hair is red, not silver." Vlad pointed out.
"We have computers that can fix that." The director's assistant told him.
"My voice is different." Vlad responded.
"Computers." The director and his assistant said at the same time.
Vlad resorted to his last reason why he couldn't fill in for Youko, "I don't want to!"
"Well, that's too bad. I guess we'll just have to find some random stranger to fill in for Youko during the hugging Harmony scene." Flash shrugged.
Vlad's eyes narrowed and he put an arm around Harmony protectively, "No way. I'm going to fill in for Youko and there's nothing you can say to stop me!"
"Good! Glad to hear that you finally see things my way." Flash walked back to her position on the set feeling very proud of herself.
Vlad blinked. He then growled, "She tricked me."
"Take your places on the set!" the director commanded.
Harmony pulled on Vlad's hand to get him to walk forward, "Come, Vladdypoo! It's time to film the scene!"
"This sucks..." Vlad said as he followed Harmony.
Flash appeared by his side with kitty ears, a kitty face, and kitty paws. She covered her mouth with a kitty paw as she elbowed Vlad, "Admit it, you're looking forward to the hugging scene!"
"I refuse to comment." Vlad glared. His glare deepened when he saw Flash open her mouth to sing. "Don't you dare."
"Vlad and Harm, sitting in a tree!" Flash began.
Vlad pulled his hand away from Harmony and started trying to attack Flash, "That's enough out of you!"
"I don't know why I bother. I really don't." The director set down his clipboard. He took out a cell phone. "I need to reschedule my appointment with my psychiatrist to tonight."
-End Scene-
Zero's Curse – Act 9, Scene 5: Hey, ugly!
Autumn stopped in the middle of the room and stood there thinking. She then walked over to the door and peered out the window. "HEY! Is anybody out there? HELOOOOOOOOOOOOOO? Prisoner wants some attention here! HEY! You! I see you out there, you disgusting sack of lard! Get over here!"
There was an angry roar as a large demon walked over and peered in the window at her. He had purple warty skin and one red eye. He had tusks sticking up out of his mouth. "You talkin' to me, human?"
"No, I'm talking to the other Cyclops behind you." Autumn rolled her eyes when the Cyclops turned to look. "Of course I'm talking to you, baka!"
"Autumn...Now might not be a good time to insult the demon holding us captive...We can't exactly run away..." Flash pointed out.
"Yeah umm...I'd really like to live a few more years if that's at all possible..." OkageHime laughed nervously.
"Hey, ugly! I didn't know Kuwabaka had an identical twin! Bloody hell! Somebody put a bag over his head! My eyes! MY EYES! THEY BURN! THE PAIN!" Autumn covered her eyes and made gagging noises.
The demon had flames in his eyes. "You stupid wench! You'll pay for that!"
"What are you going to do? Breathe on me until I die from your bad breath?"
"Uh...Autumn?" Flash was glancing nervously between Autumn and the demon.
The demon growled angrily. "How dare you! I'll kill you!"
"So? What are you waiting for? Come kill me! Or are you afraid of being beaten by a lowly little human girl? Chicken! Puck puck puckaw!" Autumn made chicken noises and motions.
The door was pushed in and it fell on top of Autumn, crushing her against the ground. The demon walked onto the door and looked around, scratching his head. "Where'd she go?"
"She's going to be feeling that one once she regains consciousness." stated Flash.
-End Scene-
Zero's Curse – Act 13, Scene 4: Zero, I am your father!
It suddenly hit him. She had stuck by him because she thought of him as a friend. She had never mentioned anything about his eyes and had never been afraid of him. Even though he was cruel to her she still thought of him as a friend. None of her friends had been afraid of him. They had all seemed quite willing to welcome him into their midst. Perhaps he had had friends all along and hadn't known it?
He stood up. He knew what he had to do. He had to go back and apologize to Thorn for the way he had been acting. He would apologize for everything. He was hoping she'd forgive him. He felt awfully guilty about everything he had done in his life. He was about to leave when he heard a twig break behind him. He spun around to face the noise and his eyes widened in shock and fear. It was a big teddy bear that was holding a heart which said 'Hug me!' and smiling widely.
Zero arched an eyebrow, "Eh? What the heck is this?"
"You have forgotten me, Zero!" A voice said from the bear.
"I think I would remember if I'd met a giant talking teddy bear."
"You speak crazy, Zero. I am not a giant teddy bear. I am your father."
Zero stared blankly at the bear, "Riight... I hate to disappoint you, Mr. Bear, but my father's dead."
"I am not! I'm right here!" The bear protested.
"My father isn't a teddy bear."
"Why do you persist in speaking crazy? I am not a teddy bear!"
Zero tilted his head to the side, "No...I'm pretty sure you are."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not!"
Zero pointed at the lake, "See for yourself."
The teddy bear awkwardly managed to turn around and look in the lake. "What the? How the heck did that happen? No wonder I was having trouble flying!"
"Right well, I'm just going to leave now...you're starting to scare me." Zero said before turning and walking away.
"Zero, wait! I have important stuff to tell you! Come back!" The teddy bear tried to follow Zero but fell flat on its face.
-End Scene-
Meeting Thine Pixilated DOOM – Act 2, Scene 8: Kuwabara's triumph
Kuwabara then noticed it was his turn to fight. He trotted over to the ring and found himself facing Jin. The fight started. By some miracle, Kuwabara completely overpowered Jin. He didn't get hit by any of the wind demon's attacks. Hinote stood there staring blankly. Kuwabara walked back to his companion feeling quite proud of himself.
"You...he...no damage...beat...winning...you..." Hinote pointed at Kuwabara and stared.
Kuwabara grinned, "That's right! I am the best fighter in the world!"
Hinote took a few steps backwards. The world around them disappeared and they were transported to a digital dimension. The ground beneath them was made up of a grid of blue lines. The sky above them was black with grey clouds and stars in it. Hinote stepped up to fight and was met by Sensui. They fought a fierce battle but in the end Sensui appeared victorious. Hinote disappeared and Sensui walked back to the sidelines.
Kuwabara stepped up to face Younger Toguro. The two fighters began with equal health bars. Kuwabara started swinging his Spirit Sword around in an attempt to hit Toguro. Toguro, of course, dodged and punched Kuwabara. Kuwabara countered with a punch of his own. This went on for several minutes. Toguro then summoned his energy for a final blow. Kuwabara was about to run out of the way when he noticed that his shoe was untied. He knelt down and began to tie the laces on his shoe. It was at this time that Toguro attacked, completely obliterating Kuwabara. The boy fell on the ground and twitched a few times before lying still.
"CUT!" the director yelled.
Toguro arched an eyebrow as the director walked over to him with a scowl on his face. "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong? What's wrong! You've just killed Kuwabara, that's what's wrong!" the director answered.
Toguro scratched his head, "And? We're fighting a tournament. The matches are to the death, aren't they?"
"Yes but no! Things are supposed to go as written in the script! It says right here that you're supposed to lose to Kuwabara!" the director pointed at part of the script he was holding.
"But that's humiliating." Toguro stated.
"So? Kurama did it!" the director pointed at the redhead. Kurama was lying on a couch chair that one would find in a psychiatrist's office. Flash was sitting next to him with a clipboard which she was drawing on and nodding every so often so that it seemed like she was paying attention to what Kurama was saying.
"I suppose it all started when I was a young fox kit..." Kurama said.
The director sweat dropped, "Ok, bad example. Well, Autumn lost to Hinote and you don't see her having any psychological issues!"
Toguro turned his attention to the girl dressed like Karasu. She was sitting on a beanbag chair in front of a coffee table. She had set her mask on the floor next to her. On the other side of the coffee table was Karasu, also sitting on a beanbag chair. The two were having coffee and cookies while they discussed Kurama. Autumn took out some embarrassing pictures she had of the redhead.
"And this is a picture of him when he played Little Red Riding Hood in his Elementary School play..."
"How adorable! I simply love the way the red cape looks on him! And look how he struggles to hold up the basket!"
"I know! Oh and look at this picture! It's a picture of him cowering in a corner of his room when I had all of his stuff replaced with bunny toys! Look at the little bunny slippers he's wearing!"
The two hugged each other and squealed in delight. Then they continued looking at pictures and exchanging stories about Kurama's cuteness.
"That girl already had psychological issues before she lost to Hinote." Toguro pointed out.
"True, true... But what about Hiei! He lost to Sensui and he's not complaining about it!" The director pointed at the small fire demon.
Hiei had a human sized dummy with the director's picture stapled to its head hanging from a rope. He took out his katana and disappeared with a flash. A moment later he reappeared and sheathed his sword. The director dummy fell apart into hundreds of pieces with stuffing flying everywhere.
The director stared in horror. Hinote walked over and poked Kuwabara's body, "Hey everybody! Toguro killed Kuwabara!"
Everyone perked up. Soon Hinote, Flash, and Autumn were parading around Toguro playing random instruments and throwing confetti and streamers. Tenka joined them, waving a banner which said 'Joy to the world, Kuwabara's dead!' The four of them started singing about Toguro.
"For he's a jolly good fellow! For he's a jolly good fellow! For he's a jolly good feellooow! Which nobody can deny!"
Toguro smirked, "It looks like I did the right thing."
The director sighed and looked around again. Yusuke was sleeping on the snack table with an empty box of donuts in his hand. Hiei was throwing darts at the director's picture. Kurama was relaying his life story to a sack of potatoes which had 'Flash' written on it in permanent marker and Jin was singing karaoke in a corner along with all of the other characters from the tournament.
"I think I'll go buy everyone ice cream." The director said happily. He smiled. Then he started to laugh as he walked away. "Gods, I love my job!"
Zero: This chapter was entertaining. I hope you thought so too.
Dream: (bursts into the room) HAHA! I have succeeded in freeing myself from the storage closet of death! So, let's start the chapter now.
Zero: Eh, the chapter's already over.
Dream: Oh. Well in that case let's go get pizza:walks away:
Zero: (shrugs and follows)