DISCLAIMER: Mine? Yeah right. And you spend how much on drugs?

SUMMARY: Jack has displayed a little of the infamous O'Neill temper, slicing his hand open in the process. Sam has told him not to blame himself for what happened to her. Of course, he does anyway. Pete is sitting in a jail cell right now. What happens next?

SPOILERS: Up through "Affinity". Anything that happened or happens after that may or may not be referenced here. Probably not though because I don't like the way things seem to be going in the show right now.

FEEDBACK: Please please please. I love feedback.

Daniel walked into the infirmary and stopped just inside the door. Jack and Sam were talking quietly together and Jacob was nowhere to be seen.

Sam saw him first. "Hey, Daniel. How are you?"

He stepped forward somewhat hesitant. "What's wrong, Danny?" Jack asked, noticing that something was bothering Daniel.

"I want to talk to you guys. I have some things that I need to tell you."

"Well, come on over. Pull up a chair and tell us." Jack was trying to make it easier on Daniel.

Pulling up a chair on the opposite side of the bed, Daniel started talking. He knew that he had to start before he lost his nerve. "You guys remember the first run-in with Hathor. I said that the DNA that Janet would find in the remains of the larval Go'auld would be partially mine?" Both of them nodded. "What I didn't tell you then was that she seduced me. Afterwards, I looked back at it with shame. I felt violated. I didn't want to talk about it. Janet noticed that something was wrong and she pulled me aside a few days later."

FLASHBACK

"Daniel, can I talk to you for a moment?" Janet asked. Daniel followed her into her office. "I know that something's been bothering you ever since the end of the Hathor incident. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know. I just feel so –"

"Violated? Let me guess. That was not something that you would have done under normal circumstances?"

"Right. Just knowing what she was, I would never have done anything with her."

"You were under the influence of her pheromones. Technically, that makes what she did with you rape. You were a victim of rape."

"But –"

"You thought only women could be raped? Men can be raped too. It's a common misconception. Most people believe that men can't be raped. It just isn't true. If it's something that you wouldn't have done under normal circumstances, it's rape."

"So I have a right to feel violated?"

"Yes. You really do. Have you talked to Jack or Sam about it?"

"No. They'd never understand. I'm sure nothing like this has ever happened to either one of them."

"It's okay, Daniel. They won't think any less of you if you tell them."

"I just can't, Janet. I feel ashamed enough as it is. If I tell them, I get this feeling that they'll start looking at me with pity."

"Jack isn't like that. Neither is Sam. They'd want to help you through this. Really they would, Daniel. Try to talk to them. For the sake of your own peace of mind."

"Maybe someday. In the meantime, can I just talk to you? You seem to understand what I feel all too well."

"Probably because I've been through the same thing. It's not easy to deal with. I know that. It's easier if you have friends who can help."

That was the first day that Daniel had spoken to anyone about the feelings he'd been experiencing since the incident with Hathor.

FLASHBACK ENDS

The look in Sam's eyes told him that he had done the right thing in telling in them. That he should have told them sooner. They would have understood.

Jack just didn't understand. He didn't understand why Daniel hadn't told them about this before now. He mentally kicked himself for not having noticed that something was bothering Daniel at the time.

"I spent a lot of time talking to Janet after that. She and I got very close. In fact, I asked her to marry me about a month before she was killed. The day she died, I fell apart inside. I buried it deep just like I had the emotions about Hathor. I just continued on, vowing to never let anyone that close again. That's one of the reasons that Cassie came to stay with you. She couldn't handle the way I was at home. I wouldn't talk to her much. I didn't even take care of myself sometimes. I was determined to keep everyone at a distance. I just never could do that with you, Sam. I couldn't. You were the one person I couldn't keep away. Something about you made me want to get close. But I knew about the feelings between you and Jack. Janet and I had talked about it several times. She and I knew that the two of you would eventually get together."

"You talked about us?" Jack was amazed. Daniel and Janet had been engaged? They had talked about the possibility of a Jack-and-Sam relationship. Daniel had lost Cassie to his own fears of letting anyone else close. "But when Cassie ran off a couple of weeks after she came to live with Sam --?"

"She came to the house and stayed with me for a few days. We cried together for the first time since Janet had been killed and then we laughed over some of our memories. It was really therapeutic."

"I'm still stuck on the part of the two of you being engaged. Neither of you let on. Neither of you said anything." Sam's voice was a bit accusatory. She was a little hurt that Janet was her best friend and yet hadn't told her that he had popped the question.

"We wanted to tell you guys. We really did. We just didn't know when would be a good time to say it. Then Janet died and it just didn't seem to matter anymore." Daniel hung his head. He really had wanted to tell his teammates but Janet had wanted to wait for the perfect time. He honored her wishes. And then it was too late. Janet was dead.

Sam held out her arms to her friend. More than friend. Brother. The brother that Mark had never been. Daniel had always been there for her when she needed a shoulder to cry on or even just lean on. He was the brother she had needed when her mother died.

Daniel sat down on the bed next to Sam and let her hold him as tears ran down both of their faces. Jack was still kind of shell shocked. He was amazed that Daniel had hidden that sort of thing for so long from him. Finally, he stood up and wrapped his arms around both of the people on the bed. People who were so much more to him than teammates. They were family. The only family he needed right now.

A/N: There's the next chapter. A little angsty I know. Have to have at least one of those in the story. Happy reading everyone.