This fanfic has been brought to you by the author Chameleon Freak!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Pokemon. I just want a Squirtle, and then I'll be happy.
Flee For Your Life!
Chapter 2: Attack of the Publicist
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WARNING! THE FOLLOWNG CHAPTER CONTAINS CONSTANT PILLOW VIOLENCE!
IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ ABOUT SOMEONE BEING HIT WITH A PILLOW, DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER! This has been a public service announcement from the Prevention Of Pillow Violence Society. Thank you.
"Every time I get really upset with Max, I find the best way to make him suffer is to knock him unconscious with my pillow. But I always need to run upstairs to get it. So mom, could you teach me how to pull things out of thin air from behind your back?"
"Sure Taylor. But I warn you, it takes a while to master it. Only a few people in the world can do it."
"Like who?"
"Well, I can do it, and so can May, and your aunts. That's about it."
"So how do I start?"
"Well, fist you need to pick your weapon of choice."
Taylor held up her pillow.
"Okay. Now, before you begin practicing, you need to learn the basics of quantum physics. Now, do you know anything about quantum foam?"
"Umm… what's a quantum?"
"Oh boy. Let's start at the very beginning."
So while Misty got down to the basic facts of quantum science, Ash and Max were having a slightly different talk in the kitchen.
"So Max, the important thing to remember about speed eating is that you should never chew your food. The longer the food is in your mouth and not your stomach, the longer you have to start feeling full."
"So how do I eat without chewing?"
"Well, first of all, you need to exercise your tongue."
"What?"
"You see, I always crush the food with my tongue, and swallow down the newly compacted food whole."
"Oh. So how do I practice?"
"Start with softer foods and work your way up. Same thing goes with size. Start with smaller bites, and then gradually proceed to bigger mouthfuls. It took me a couple months of work before I was as good at it as I am now."
"Oh."
Taylor
and Misty walked into the room smiling as if they had discovered the
cure for the common cold. Misty was the first to speak. "Taylor has
something she would like to show you."
"Can I have a volunteer?"
Max shrugged and stood up. He had nothing better to do. Taylor walked over and stood next to him. Next thing he knew, Max was on the floor.
"What happened?"
"I pulled my pillow out from behind my back and knocked you unconscious."
"Oh. Show me, but don't hurt me."
He stepped back as Taylor reached behind her back and produced her pillow out of midair. Ash, Misty, and Taylor were pleased, but Max was anything but.
"Great. Now you can pummel me anytime I get with in three feet of you."
"I'm glad you like it."
"Sarcasm is a foreign language to you, isn't it?"
"No."
"Well I have something to show you."
Ash looked surprised. "No Max. You haven't practiced at all."
"I'll take my chances."
"If you say so."
Ash placed a bowl of popcorn, three slices of pizza, and fifteen cupcakes in front of Max. Taylor and Misty sat down and watched in fascination.
Ash got his watch ready to time Max.
"On your mark, get set, go!"
Max started with the cupcakes. He shoved them in his mouth one at a time and swallowed them whole. It literally seemed as though he was inhaling the food. After the cupcakes had been polished off in roughly forty-nine seconds, he attacked the popcorn. His mouth was so full of popcorn it was open as wide as it could be. But he used his tongue to squish the popped corn down to bite size. In no time at all, about thirty-seven seconds to be exact, he had downed the popcorn and had started on the pizza. He slurped all the cheese and toppings off the three slices first of all. Then he ate the crust from all three pieces. Then he rolled up all three slices and shoved it in his mouth, and down his throat. Ash stopped his watch.
"Three minutes and twenty-six seconds!"
Ash, Misty, and Max were all very happy, but Taylor was anything but.
"So basically you taught him how to eat way to much food as quickly as possible? Am I the only person this is gonna be a repeat of the Thanksgiving Incident all over again?"
Ash
and Misty ignored her and Max just smiled and said, "Correct me if
I'm wrong, but don't you have the same ability as dad and
I?"
"Umm… I guess."
"So stop complaining. Plus, you were the one who started the Thanksgiving Incident."
"Let's drop it."
"If you say so. But dad, I don't want any dinner. I'm just going to go to bed. Night."
Max trudged away while everyone else sat down to dinner. They had chicken and wild rice casserole. After dinner, Taylor washed the dishes while Ash went upstairs to bed, and Misty sat down to watch the news. After she had washed the dishes, Taylor got clean and proceeded to tackle the hardest part of her day. Picking out what to wear tomorrow.
After three hours of searching, she had narrowed it down to two choices. She asked Max for his opinion.
"So
Max, do you think I should wear the blue dress, or the green
dress?"
"Well, I think I know what Ian will wear, and the blue
one would look best with it."
"Oh. By the way, why are you the bottom bunk? I would have bet my life savings that you were going to snag the top bunk."
"I'm too bloated to climb anything more that the stairs."
"Oh. By the way, have you told mom or dad you're going to the dance as well?"
"And ruin my reputation as a bachelor and girl-hater? No. Not yet."
Just then, Misty walked in to the room.
"So
you're going to the dance tomorrow. And you weren't going to tell
me?"
"Umm… how'd you know I was going to the dance?"
"I
was walking upstairs to go to bed when I heard you talking."
"Oh. Okay. Well, now you know."
"Who are you going with?"
"Ian's sister, Liz."
"Oh. What about you Taylor?"
"Ian."
"Okay.
Have fun at the dance."
Misty walked away while Taylor climbed
up into the top bunk.
"Goodnight little bro."
"Goodnight. And I'm NOT your little brother."
"If you say so."
The next morning, Taylor was awoken to the sound of laughter.
"Who's laughing?"
Max popped his head over the railing.
"I am."
"Why?"
"Because I was thinking of how you started the Thanksgiving Incident."
"Why must you bring that up?"
"Because it was funny."
"Well, drop it now!"
"Fine."
Max stomped off while Taylor got ready for school. After breakfast, Taylor walked into the T.V. room and found Max, who was playing as Kirby, fighting Bowser on his Gamecube.
"You better get your backpack. Ian and Liz said they'd be here in about ten seconds. Nine…eight…seven…six…five…four…three…two…one…"
DING-DONG!
"Wow. You're good."
"I know."
"Tell them I'll be down in a second."
"Okay."
Taylor walked over to the door while Max dashed upstairs. She opened the door and two teens walked inside.
"Hi Taylor."
"Hi Liz."
"Hey Taylor."
"Hi Ian."
Max walked downstairs with his backpack on.
"Hi Liz. Hi Ian."
"Hi Max."
"Hi Max."
"Well now, shall we get going?"
"After you Taylor."
"What he said."
"Umm… yeah. What's up with the sudden Mr. Courteous act boys?"
"Well Liz, it's very simple, Taylor just learned how to pull a pillow out of nowhere. Seeing as her pillow is a deadly weapon in her hands, we're going to be extra nice to her. Well, at least I am. She loves Ian, so I don't think he's in trouble."
"MAX! THAT WAS A SECRET!"
Taylor flung her pillow out of nowhere directly into his face. He started to fall over, but then she hit him in the rear, making him stand up. He received a blow to the gut, making him double over. She slammed him in the face again, and finished off her combo attack with a painful hit in between the legs.
"So…much…pain. I'm gonna run for my life in the general direction of school now."
Max
took off as fast as possible.
"I'd better see if he's
alright."
Liz ran after him. Ian looked at Taylor and blushed.
"Do you really love me? I mean, I knew you liked me, but do you love me?"
Taylor blushed.
"I'm going to murder my brother later. But yes. I do love you. Sorry."
"Why?"
"Doesn't it bother you?"
"Not
really."
"So, do you love me?"
"Umm…maybe."
"Just maybe?"
"Umm… I uh… I…I love you too."
Taylor beamed at him.
"Shall we get to school Ian?"
"Sure.
Not that we have a choice. We have to go to school. Nothing else we
could do."
"True. Of we go then!"
And off they went. Then. Anyway, Ian smiled, locked the door which Taylor had forgotten to do, and ran to catch up with Taylor. Meanwhile, at the Indigo Plateau, the Pokemon League's publicist was holding a meeting for the Elite Four and the Pokemon Master.
"Okay. Here's the problem we're facing. As you can see, the popularity of the current Elite Four members and the Pokemon Master is at an all time low. We need to do something to boost your popularity. As you can see, Gary is the least popular out of all of you, so I should start off with him. Then I'll work on Steven's popularity, the Lance's, then Ash's, and I don't have to worry about Misty."
All of the boys were in an uproar.
"What do you mean I'm the least most popular? I'm awesome!"
"What? Lance is more popular then me?"
"Why is Misty more popular then me? I'm the Pokemon Master!"
"Yeah? I thought dragons were popular! Why am I the man in the middle?"
Susan, the publicist, pulled out a chart and started talking.
"Okay. Gary, you're the least most popular because you lose to much and most people say you're a quote 'big fat jerk' end quote. So you should probably help a charity or do community service. Steven, your Pokemon scare most of the people out there. Steel Pokemon just aren't very personable. So you should spend some time at hospitals or nursing homes with your Pokemon cheering up the people there. Lance, same thing goes for you. Ash, you need to stop being so confident. It gets on peoples nerves. Finally, Misty, you don't need to work on anything because every female trainer out there looks up to you. You're extremely popular. So, that's it. Have a nice day."
Susan walked off. Misty was pleased with herself, but everyone else was finding excuses.
"She's biased. How can she say I'm a jerk? I have a fan club of five thousand people for crying out loud!"
"She's crazy. Steel Pokemon are just misunderstood. Just look how cute and gentle my Skarmory is."
"She's a snob. Dragon Pokemon are graceful and popular."
"She's a freak. I'm not over confident. I am the Pokemon Master and have a five hundred battle winning streak."
"I'm the most popular member! I could just scream! I gotta tell my sisters!"
Misty hurried off to call her sisters, while the guys returned to work. Back at school, everyone was excited about the big dance. Well, almost everyone. For example, at the Teacher's Lounge the teachers were upset about the pandemonium that was inevitable that night. The janitor was dreading the mess of the dance. And a few kids were upset about not getting a date. But besides them, everyone was happy. Which brings us to the cafeteria. Liz, Max, Ian, and Taylor were all eating lunch and talking about the dance and Valentine's Day. Liz, Max, Ian, and Taylor were deep in talking about the cards they had received.
"I was surprised you didn't get a card from your secret admirer Max." Taylor said.
"I was just thinking about that Taylor."
"Yeah. Maybe they had second thoughts." Ian suggested.
Liz smiled. "I don't think so."
Why do you say that? If my secret admirer didn't give up or back out, why didn't I get a card?"
"Because
I was your secret admirer."
"You were my secret admirer Liz?
Why didn't you tell me?" Max cried.
"Or me? I'm your brother!"
"Well, I didn't think it really mattered. Sorry."
"It doesn't matter Liz. I was just surprised that you were my secret admirer. But now it makes sense."
"Good."
"That still doesn't explain why you didn't tell me! I'm your own flesh and blood!"
"Do you tell me everything that goes on in your life Ian?"
"No."
"Then why should I tell you?"
"Good point."
After lunch was over and school was through for the day, everyone went home to get ready for the dance. Of course, pandemonium reigned supreme.
"Ahh! Where did my dress go?"
"Hmm… did you look in your closet?"
"Yes."
"Over to the right?"
"Yes."
"Right
next to your pajamas?"
"Ye… No."
"Why don't you
look there then?"
Taylor looked in her closet, over to the right, right next to her pajamas. She pulled out her blue dress.
"See. It was right where you'd left it."
"True. True."
"I'm ready. Since dinner is over, and I'm ready, I'm gonna head over to Liz's house."
"I'll meet you at the dance. Ian is going to come over here to pick me up."
Max walked downstairs and into the T.V. room. Misty turned away from the news to inspect his outfit.
"You look great! But you need to straighten your bow tie."
"Okay mom."
"Also, remember to be back by 10:00."
"Okay mom."
"Remember to call me if you're going to be late."
"Okay mom."
"Make sure your sister gets home on time as well."
"Okay mom."
"Say Hi to Liz for me."
"Okay mom."
"I'll see you later. Have a good time!"
"Okay mom. Bye."
Max walked out the door and down the street. After walking down five blocks and whistling the theme songs to five shows, Max arrived at Ian and Liz's house. Better known as the McGrubert residence. He was about to knock on the door when it opened and Ian walked out.
"Hi Max. I'm on my way to pick up your sister."
"I guessed as much. See you at the dance."
"Yeah. See you then."
Ian walked away as Max knocked on the door. It opened up almost instantly and Mr. McGrubert greeted him.
"Hello Max. How're you doing?"
"Pretty good Mr. McGrubert."
"So, you're taking my daughter to the dance?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. Just to let you know, she becomes really hyper if she consumes to much sugar, and she has to be home by 10:30."
"Okay."
Just then, Liz walked in. Wearing a beautiful red dress I might add.
"Hi Max."
"Hi Liz. Ready to go?"
"Yeah. Bye Daddy."
"Bye Elizabeth."
"How many times do I have to tell you? Call me Liz."
"If you say so."
Max and Liz walked outside and made their way towards the school.
"Just to let you know Liz, you look absolutely gorgeous in that dress. Not that you aren't when you wearing anything else."
"Thank you. That was a very narrow save you made."
"True. So, I have to be home by 10:00, so I can stay until 9:45. Would you like to stay after I leave, or do you want me to walk you home?"
"I get really tired if I stay up to late. So could you walk me home?"
"Sure. In the case, we'd need to leave by 9:30 so I can get you home and then get back to my house on time."
"Okay. Fine with me."
"By the way, do you like my suit?"
"Yeah. The red jacket over the white shirt along with the black pants and shoes goes great with my dress!"
They passed the man in the kilt, who was currently singing a song.
"I wish you a Merry Christmas!
I wish you a Merry Christmas!
I wish you a Merry Christmas!
And a Happy New Year!"
"Umm… why are you still wearing that dress?"
"Look here young man, I told you already! It's a kilt!"
"Okay. Why are you singing a Christmas carol?"
"I feel extremely happy. So I'm singing a happy song!"
"Okay. C'mon Liz. Let's get a move on. We're gonna be late."
"Okay Max."
The man in the kilt shook his head.
"Those kids need to learn the true meaning of the holidays."
He walked off still shaking his head.
Meanwhile, Ian had just arrived at the Ketchum residence. He knocked on the door and Misty immediately opened it.
"Hello Ian. How're you doing?"
"Pretty good Mrs. Ketchum."
"So, you're taking my daughter to the dance?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. Just to let you know, she becomes really hyper if she consumes to much sugar, and she has to be home by 10:00."
"Okay."
Just then, Taylor walked in. Wearing a beautiful blue dress I might add.
"Hi Ian."
"Hi Taylor. Ready to go?"
"Yeah. Bye mom."
"Bye Taylor."
They walked outside and made their way towards the school.
"Just to let you know Taylor, you look absolutely gorgeous in that dress. Not that you aren't when you wearing anything else."
"Thank you. That was a very narrow save you made."
"True. So, you have to be home by 10:00, so you can stay until 9:45. Do you want me to walk you home?"
"I get really tired if I stay up to late. So could you walk me home?"
"Sure. By the way, do you like my suit?"
"Yeah. The navy blue jacket over the white shirt along with the black pants and shoes goes great with my dress!"
They passed the man in the kilt, who was currently singing a song.
"I wish you a Merry Christmas!
I wish you a Merry Christmas!
I wish you a Merry Christmas!
And a Happy New Year!"
"Umm… why are you wearing a dress?"
"Look here young man, it's a kilt!"
"Okay. Why are you singing a Christmas carol?"
"I feel extremely happy. So I'm singing a happy song!"
"Okay. C'mon Taylor. Let's get a move on. We're gonna be late."
"Okay Ian."
Meanwhile, the Pokemon League's publicist was brainstorming ways to increase the Pokemon Master's popularity.
"Hmm… maybe I could take some pictures that promote how great of a father he is. I could sell them to the press and soon he would be known as the greatest Pokemon Master and a caring father. It's perfect! I'll get someone on it right away!" She dialed a friend of hers who happened to be a newspaper photographer.
"Hi, Jason? … Yeah. I have a job for you. Tail the Ketchum family and take some heart-warming pictures. … What? … Yeah, all of them. Not just Ash and Misty, but their kids as well. … You can start tonight. The kids are at some dance I think. … How many high schools are in Pallet Town, you dimwit? … I'll tell you. One. That's how many! So go there and start taking pictures! If you get some good some good photos, I'll pay you well. Bye."
She smiled and sat back in her swivel chair. She could just see her promotion now.
At the dance, Liz and Max had just arrived. They decided to wait a while before dancing, and headed over towards the refreshment table. After filling their bellies with sugar-filled Kool-Aid, they saw Taylor and Ian dancing and walked over to say Hi.
After the song was over, they walked onto the dance floor to greet them.
"Hi Ian. Hi sis."
"Hi bro. Hi Taylor."
"Hi bro. Hi Liz."
"Hi Max. Hi sis."
They chatted for a few seconds, and then the D.J. made an announcement.
"Hello everyone. I'm Rick Triple-Z and I'm your D.J. tonight. I hope you'll have a good time and that you don't try the punch. Believe me, that stuff is so full of sugar, you'll stay up all night. For those who've already had the punch, this next song is pretty fast-paced. So here we go!"
The song started and most people left the dance floor upon hearing the speed of the song. Max and Liz however, now hyped up on sugar, danced with extreme liveliness.
Most other people attempting to dance around them backed away from fear of injury. Really. After the song was over, they made their way outside to get some fresh air. On the roof, the kilted man was sitting there with a fishing pole.
"I'll make those two see the holiday spirit. The easiest way to do it is to appeal to the current holiday. So it looks like love is in the air!"
He spotted them and cast his line over a tree branch and lowered it over their heads. He had tied mistletoe and a bell to the end of he string. He shook the line and the bell rang. The teens looked up. Perfect. Meanwhile, Jason, the photo guy was peering over a bench at the teens. He looked at a photo. Then he compared it to the boy. No doubt about it. That boy was Max Ketchum. He picked up his camera and zoomed in. The two teens were looking up at something. Then they blushed and the girl started talking. And then they… Jason smiled. He was going to make some money tonight. Meanwhile, Max was enjoying the fresh air when he heard a ringing above him. He and Liz looked up and saw a bell and some mistletoe hanging above them. He looked at Liz.
"Well Max, think it's a little late for mistletoe. Don't you?"
"Of course."
And then they sat and held hands for a while, and then they heard a clicking noise. They looked around but saw no one. So they walked back inside to dance. Up in the D.J. booth, a heated debate was about to take place. Rick Triple-Z was about to put on another song when someone walked in the booth.
"Hey there Mr. D.J. type person! I want you to play this song. Please."
"Let me see. No way am I playing that garbage!"
"But it's funny!"
"No!"
"Look, you're going to play this song or my name isn't Chameleon Freak!"
"That's
an odd name."
Chameleon Freak walked over to put the CD in, but
Rick Triple-Z stated to drag him out of the booth by his ear.
"Ow! My ear! The pain! But please! It's crucial to the story that I play this song!"
"What story? Are you okay? This is definitely not a story. If it was, I'd let you play this song."
"Okay. Now observe. I write that all of a sudden my hair turns purple and…"
All of a sudden, Chameleon Freak's hair turned purple.
"And now I write that it turns back to normal and…"
Then his hair turned back to normal.
"Wow.
I'm a believer now. But that means that my life is meaningless!
WAHHH!"
"It's not meaningless. Every character has a crucial
purpose in the story."
"Well, I don't like my purpose. Can you make me a world famous D.J. who has over twenty billion dollars and I live on a private island off the Coast of Cinnabar Island?"
"Sure. Hold on just a second while I write that down."
After finishing writing down that Rick Triple-Z all of a sudden became a world famous D.J. who had over twenty billion dollars and he lived on a private island off the coast of Cinnabar Island, he disappeared in a puff of smoke, and Chameleon Freak smiled.
"It's so easy to get what you want in this world. All you have to do is bribe someone by writing down what they want most, and then you get whatever you want! Ya!"
He put the CD in and soon the music started up. It went something like this.
Krabby, Snubbull, Venonat,
Mankey, Chansey and
Zubat
Slowking, Ditto, Butterfree,
Lugia and Caterpie
Oddish, Poliwag, Goldeen,
Elekid and Nidoqueen
Victreebel
and Magneton -
Everybody POLKAMON!
Aerodactyl,
Seel, Machoke,
Marill, Moltres, then Slowpoke,
Articuno,
Ditto, Muk,
Flareon and ol' Psyduck
Cloyster, Kingler,
Shellder, Gloom,
Snorlax and of course Vileplume
Zapdos and
Charmeleon -
Everybody POLKAMON!
It's
time to polka
For Ponyta and Pidgey too
Come on put on your
lederhosen
And try not to stamp on little Pikachu
You'd
better grab yourself a partner
Like Tentacruel or Bulbasaur
(Bulbasaur!)
Hold on a minute - there's still at least a hundred
and twenty-seven more
Including
Ledyba and Omastar
Jynx, Bellossom and Magmar
Geodude and
Arcanine
Jiggypuff and Mr. Mime
Don't forget about Sandslash,
Exeggcute and Rapidash
Lickitung and Porygon -
Everybody
POLKAMON!
Everybody
POLKAMON!
Everybody POLKAMON!
About half way through the song, Taylor grabbed Ian by the arm and dragged him outside.
"If I had to listen to that annoying song for one more second, I would have screamed."
"I hear you. Hey look, mistletoe!"
"Someone must be pretty stupid if they think mistletoe is still in effect after Christmas!"
Up on the roof, the man in the kilt watched as they sat down and held hands while talking.
"At least it's a start. But I will get them into the spirit of the different holidays even if it kills me. Teens these days just don't have the spirit. They don't have the spirit of Valentine's Day even! These are supposed to be the people with 'raging hormones'. Someone was way off when they thought of that. Oh well. Wingulligan's Island is on in five minutes!"
Meanwhile, Jason was standing in his darkroom developing the photos.
"They may just be photos of them holding hands, but I'm sure that publicist will pay me big bucks for it!"
He finished and faxed them to Susan, the publicist. He got a phone call from her about five minutes later.
"What are you thinking? No one wants to see pictures of them holding hands. They want to see touching scenes that will make them go 'Awww'! That is not something you'd get from someone holding hands! I expect better photos next time!"
She hung up the phone. Oh boy. This was going to be harder than he had thought.
Meanwhile, Max and Liz had just arrived at Liz's doorstep.
"Well, see you tomorrow Liz."
"Yeah. See you then. By the way, tonight was fun."
"Thanks."
"You're welcome. Good night."
"Good night."
Liz walked inside and Max started heading home. Over at his house, or doorstep to be more precise, Ian and Taylor were saying good night to each other.
"Well, Good night Taylor."
"Good night Ian."
They started leaning closer towards each other. They closed their eyes, puckered up their lips, and were about to kiss when the door opened.
"Hey Taylor! How was the dance? Max isn't back yet but he'd better hurry! He has five minutes until curfew! How are you Ian? Was Taylor well behaved?"
"DADDY! How long were you watching us?"
"Umm… since you stepped onto the doorstep. You still haven't answered my questions."
It took one look at Taylor's face for Ian to realize that she was on the verge of pulling out her pillow.
"Umm… I've got to get home now. Good night!"
Ian scampered away just as Max walked up the driveway.
"Hey Taylor! How was the dance?"
Taylor, who needed to vent her anger, once again flung her pillow out of nowhere directly into his face. He started to fall over, but then she hit him in the rear, making him stand up. He received a blow to the gut, making him double over. She slammed him in the face again, and finished off her combo attack with a painful hit in between the legs.
"The pain. I'm going to go inside before you… too late!"
Taylor was still somewhat angry so she hit him in the head repeatedly until he ran inside.
Ash grabbed the pillow from Taylor, but it disappeared in his hand.
"Where'd your pillow go?"
"You need to have a grasp on quantum physics to understand."
"Umm… Okay. Anyway, you need to stop hitting your brother so much."
"But he annoys me so much it's the only suitable retaliation."
"Be that as it may, you need to be nicer to him. If I hear you've hit him again for no good reason, no allowance for a month!"
"No way!"
"Wanna make it two months?"
"Fine."
They walked inside. Ash walked upstairs to go to bed while Taylor went into the T.V. room.
"HIDE ME!"
Max leapt up from the chair he'd been sitting in and rocketed from the room into his room.
Misty, who was sitting on the couch, raised an eyebrow.
"Did you do something to scare your brother?"
"Umm… besides the fact my brother ran away from me in fear, what would give you such a outlandish idea?"
"Taylor Lillian Ketchum, why was he terrified of you?"
"I uh… kinda beat him into a soggy and pitiful pulp with my pillow."
"I thought I told you only to use your pillow in situations when you absolutely need to!"
"You're
one to talk."
"Excuse me?"
"You hit dad and anyone else who annoys you even the slightest bit. Just the other day, you hit a complete and total stranger for no good reason!"
"No. That man kept ringing an annoying bell and trying to take my money!"
"He was collecting money for charity!"
"Oh. He should have said that."
"He couldn't if you knocked his teeth out after three seconds of bell ringing!"
"Umm… stop trying to change the subject! You were only supposed to use your pillow when it was necessary!"
"I had a good reason! He's an annoying little brother!"
From upstairs, they heard Max shout, "I am NOT your little brother!"
"Umm… anyway mom, he annoys me only an hourly basis! He gets on my nerves!"
"That's NOT a good reason. If I hear you used your pillow irresponsibly, I'll take away your television privileges for a week!"
"Mom! That's not fair!"
"Wanna make it two weeks?"
"Fine. Good night."
Taylor walked upstairs into her room. Max pretended to be asleep, but his trembling and whimpering gave him away.
"Good night Max."
"DON'T HIT ME! Umm… What I mean to say is, Good night."
Taylor fell asleep. That's a pretty simple sentence right there. You don't find quality sentences like that just anywhere. Anyway, Max was bust plotting his vengeance. Taylor would pay for pummeling him with a pillow. She would pay!
---------------------------------
Chameleon Freak: Wow! Revenge of the Brother is just around the corner! Today's song is… Rufus Rumpus Johnson Brown! Here we go!
Rufus Rumpus Johnson Brown!
Whatcha gonna do when the rent comes round?
Whatcha gonna say?
Whatcha gonna pay?
Whatcha gonna do on the judgment day?
You know, I know, rent means dough!
Landlords gonna kick ya out in the snow!
Oh. Rufus Rumpus Johnson Brown!
Whatcha gonna do when the rent comes round?
Yeah!
And that's the show!