Flee For Your Life!

This fanfic has been brought to you by the author Chameleon Freak!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Pokemon. I just want a Tododile, and then I'll be happy.

Flee For Your Life!

Chapter 3: Revenge of the Brother

Max ran as fast as he could, but his sister was gaining. He was tired and his breath came in ragged gasps, but he had to keep going. All of a sudden, the guy in the kilt appeared in front of him. He started singing,

"Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot and days of Auld Lang Syne?

For Auld Lang Syne, my dear, for Auld Lang Syne!

We'll take a cup o' kindness yet, for Auld Lang Syne!"

"Move it mister!"

"Did you know those are the actual lyrics for the song? Pretty odd lyrics if you ask me."

"MOVE IT!"

Max swerved to avoid running into him, and fell down. He started to get up, but Taylor was upon him. He turned and saw her swing the pillow at him. Next thing he knew, his head was flying through the air and Taylor was pointing at his face.

"Look Daddy! Teacher says, every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings!"

"AHHHHHH!"

Max sat up in bed, sweat dripping down his face. Taylor, who was woken up by the scream from below her, peered down at him.

"You okay?"

"No. I had a nightmare."

"Awww! The wittle baby had a big scary nightmare!" She teased.

"Stop it. The nightmare was about you ya know!"

"What do you mean?"

"You were chasing me, and then this guy in a kilt started singing Auld Lang Syne, and then I fell and you decapitated me with your pillow."

Taylor stared at him for a moment and then burst into laughter.

"That's supposed to be scary? More like a barrel of laughs!"

"Ergh! Why are you always so mean to me? You hit me with pillows, you laugh at me, you get the top bunk, and you always call me little!"

"That's because you are."

"ARGH! Mark my words Taylor, I will have my revenge! Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in the next month! But when you least expect it, you will feel my wrath! So be afraid, be very afraid!"

"Oooh! Your wrath! I'm so scared! NOT! You can't pull a prank on me! Remember all the other times you've tried?"

"Umm… I don't know what you're talking about!"

"I'll tell you then. To start off, let's go back a couple of years to the time I gave you an empty box for your birthday! You took a bucket of water, put it over a door, and then called my name so that I would come to see who'd called. That was an extremely old prank, and I saw right through it. So I pretended to have my hands full and asked you to open the door. You did and got a bucket of water on your head instead of mine! Then last year on April Fool's Day, you taped the handle on the spraying thingy in the sink so when I turned on the water to do the dishes, I'd get soaked. But you forgot and turned on the water to get a glass of water and got a face full of water right in front of me. Those are just a few of the big mishaps in your long and sorry history of pranking people."

"Oh. Well, what if I told everyone about the Thanksgiving Incident."

"You wouldn't. Mom said she'd ground you if you did."

"Well, what if I accidentally let it slip that one Thanksgiving you ate too much. And then I let it slip that Grandma Ketchum went to the bathroom. And then I let it accidentally slip that you were going to get some more stuffing but puked right into the stuffing. And then I accidentally let it slip that while the rest of us were upstairs putting you in bed, getting medicine, and such, Grandma Ketchum came out of the bathroom, and since her eyesight wasn't very good, got a big serving of stuffing. Finally, what if I accidentally let it slip that when we all came downstairs, except for you of course, Grandma Ketchum had downed all the stuffing and told mom that it was the best stuffing ever. When she found out you'd puked in it, she puked and then fainted with shock!"

"You'd still get grounded."

"Oh. Well, I'll still have my vengeance! Until that day comes, good night!"

Max went back to sleep, as did Taylor. Taylor woke up the next morning. She hopped down from the top bunk and saw her brother sitting at the computer on his favorite website. He was watching a cartoon.

"My mouth was a broken jpeg!"

"You don't understand! You all understand. I mean don't understand! WAAAAHHHH!"

"Hey Bubs, can I have my leg back now?"
While it was a funny cartoon, Taylor wanted to check her e-mail. And so out came the pillow.

"Oh Max! Look what I have!"

Max turned around and paled.

"I thought my nightmare was over! AHHHHHHHH! HIDE ME! I MUST RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!"

Taylor checked her mail and then got ready for school. Ian and Liz showed up and they all walked to school, including Max, who was cowering behind Liz and Ian to keep away from his sister. About halfway through the walk to school, Ian got tired of having Max cower behind himself and his sister, so he reached into his backpack and pulled out a bag of what looked like green confetti.

"Check it out everyone! I bought this Skitty-nip yesterday for Liz's Skitty! It says it's super strong, but I don't believe it."

Then they heard a faint rumbling noise from all around them, and the next instant thousands upon thousands of Skitty's ran from everywhere and attacked Ian to get the bag of Skitty-nip. Within a few seconds of shock, Max called out his Blaziken, Taylor called out her Sceptile, and Liz called out, can you guess what it is? Not a Swampert if that's what you're thinking. She called out… her Skitty! While Blaziken and Sceptile quickly dispersed the rabid Skitty's, Liz's Skitty started mauling Ian. Liz quickly recalled her Pokemon.

"Oops. I guess that didn't really help that much."

Ian laid sprawled on the ground moaning. Taylor crouched next to him.

"Ian? Are you okay?"

"Everything…hurts. I…can't…feel…anything. Help…me…please."

Max stared at him.

"Wow. He must really be in pain if he has three dots between each word!"

"It's my fault. He bought the Skitty-nip for me."

"Look. This isn't the time. I'll go get help. You girls make sure he's okay."

Max dashed off to get help.

"I won't stop running until I get to a payphone!"

Five minutes later…

"Must stop running. So tired! Oh wait! I almost forgot! There's one in the dry cleaners!"

Max dashed off to the dry cleaners. Upon reaching the dry cleaners, Max discovered they wouldn't open for another hour. So he ran around the town looking for a payphone. Seeing as this is Pallet Town, it didn't take long for him to realize there were no payphones around. Plus, the hospital was in Viridian City. So he zipped over to where Taylor and Liz were trying to calm Ian.

"Sorry, but there aren't any payphones around! If only we had a cell phone."

Liz sat up.

"I wasn't thinking clearly, seeing as my brother was just mauled by a herd of rabid Skitty's. But I have a cell phone with me."

Liz called 911 and soon an ambulance came and took Ian away. Liz called her parents and told them what happened, and then they made their way to school. All through school they were worried about whether Ian would make it or not. So when school was over, they made their way to the hospital. Once there, they found Liz's parents and asked how Ian was doing. Apparently, Ian was recovering, but he was in shock and therefore oblivious to what was happening around him. He could eat and drink, but that was about it. So when they went in to see Ian in his full body cast, he just sat there and didn't move or make a sound. After trying to get him to talk for a while, Max and Taylor left and made their way home. Along the way, Max spoke up.

"Sorry your boyfriend was attacked by rabid Skitty's. I was gonna tell everyone about the Thanksgiving Incident, but I'll wipe the slate clean."

He was expecting a pillow to the face for calling Ian her boyfriend, which was true, but she didn't like it when people said that. Instead of a head support to the face, she hugged him.

"You can be an okay brother sometimes."

"Thanks."

They arrived home and ate their dinner. Afterwards, everyone went about his or her regular business. Ash's snores were soon heard coming from his bedroom. Misty could be heard commenting about the news. And Taylor and Max were upstairs getting ready to hit the hay. Instead of fighting over the top bunk, Max let Taylor sleep there without complaining. You see, he was trying to be nice to her for two main reasons. The first reason is that her boyfriend was just mauled by rabid Skitty's. The second and most important reason is that because her boyfriend was just mauled by rabid Skitty's, her emotions would probably not be happiness, love, and such. So he didn't want to upset her and make her start at him with a pillow again. So for the next week, Max was as nice to her as possible. Once he was sure she had gotten over it, he left Taylor and Liz alone for a while so they could talk about how Ian was doing. Since it was lunch and Max had finished his lunch, he decided to walk around and do nothing in particular. After five minutes of doing nothing in particular, some shouted at him.

"CIRCLES!"

Max looked up.

"Who said that?"

A boy sitting alone at a nearby table waved at him.

"That would be me. You see, for the first four minutes, I was fine. BUT I CAN'T STAND YOU WALKING IN CIRCLES AROUND MY TABLE! If you're trying to hypnotize me, you can do better."

"So, what are you saying?"

"Could you please stop walking in circles around my table? There are twenty-seven tables in the cafeteria. Why don't you try a different one? Please."

"Oh. I'm sorry. See, a friend of mine was mauled by rabid Skitty's. So I was kinda deep in thought."

"Oh. In that case, you can walk in circles around my table as much as you like."

"Thanks. By the way, I'm Max Ketchum."

"Sam McGee. Pleased to meet'cha Max. By the way, would that be your sister over there?"

"Yeah. Her name's Taylor, but how could you tell?"

"Well, you spend a lot of time with her, plus she has an uncanny resemblance to you. So she probably is your sister."

"Okay. So Sam, would you like to meet my friends?"

"Why not? I've got nothing better to do."

They made their way over to Taylor and Liz.
"Taylor, Liz, I'd like you to meet my new friend Sam."

"Hi Sam. I'm Taylor!"

Liz didn't answer. She just narrowed her eyes and scowled at Sam. Max noticed this.

"Umm… Liz? Why are you looking at Sam as though he's unfit to walk on the earth?"

Sam spoke up.

"She thinks I'm a blemish upon the family name. That I'm annoying, rude, weird, and that I smell like a rotten tuna fish sandwich. Did I leave anything out dearest cousin?"

"Wait just a minute! You two are cousins?"

"Liz would hate to admit she had any relation to me, but yes. I am her cousin. Say, where's my other cousin? You know, Ian."

"Don't you remember Sam? I told you he was attacked by rabid Skitty's!"
"No. You told me your best friend had been attacked by rabid Skitty's. Not Ian. But I must visit him after school."

Liz looked outraged.

"If you think for one second you're going to annoy him, you've got another thing coming!"

"Tell me cousin, why do you and the rest of your family detest me so much?"

"I'll tell you why! Remember the Christmas Incident?"

Taylor looked shocked.

"You have a holiday incident that will plague you for the rest of your life? Me too! Do you remember what happened?"

"I try to forget."

Liz frowned.

"Well, ever since then, we've disliked you."

Sam instantly retorted.

"Wow. You were pretty straightforward about that. Anyway, oh, c'mon! I was two years old! How was I supposed to know the tree wasn't held firmly in place! How was I supposed to know the lights would short circuit and catch the tree on fire! How was I supposed to know that all of the presents weren't for me! I'm sure any one of us could have made that mistake!"

"No way! I think you purposely knocked over our tree and opened all of the presents!"

"I was two years old! I saw a present, I reached for it, and then I accidentally knocked the tree over! "

"Whatever."

Liz walked off, and Max ran after her. Taylor turned to Sam.

"No need to feel glum. I know how you feel. You think your family has forsaken you. But they're just mad."

"How do you know?"

"While it was a Christmas incident for you, it was a Thanksgiving incident with me."
"Really?"

"Yeah."

"So, what'd you do?"

Taylor launched into the tale of the Thanksgiving Incident. Halfway across the school, Max was trying to calm Liz down.

"Why are you so mad at him?"

"He ruined that Christmas! Plus, even though he apologizes, I don't think he's sorry."

"So you think he's a Christmas spoiling lying cousin?"

"Pretty much."

"I think you should give him a chance."

"Maybe you're right."

"It's up to you."

Just then, the man in the kilt walked by.

"You should give him a chance! Forgive him! It's the holiday spirit!"

Max walked over to the kilted man.

"Look, who are you?"

"I'm the Kilted Wonder!"

"What?"

"You know. I'm a superhero!"

"No you aren't!"
"Yes I am! Remember that old saying."

"No."

"Me neither. I've got to go spread the Holiday Spirit! Away!"

The Kilted Wonder dashed off and Max walked back to Liz.

"Now then, what were we talking about?"

Back to Taylor and Sam, they were running as fast as they possibly could to escape the evil velociraptors and… oh wait, wrong story. In reality, if you could call it that, Taylor had just finished the story of the Turkey-Day Incident. Sam was impressed.

"Wow! That has the extremely funny quality of a humorous story!"

"Yeah. Bizarre."

"Look! It's Absurd!"

"It's Insane!"

"It's the Kilted Wonder!"

"Who?"

"You know! The guy who spreads holiday cheer!"

"Who?"

"The guy in the kilt who sings Christmas carols all year round!"

"Who?"

"Why do you keep saying who?"

"What?"

"Can you stop that?"

"Why?"

"You know that advertisement from a while back? 'Why ask why?'"

"When?"

"Goodbye."

"Wait! I was just trying to cheer you up!"

"Why?"

"C'mon! You were upset because Liz was mean to you."

"Who?"

"SAM!"

"What?"

"Please stop it right now!"

"When?"

"Stop it!"

"Where?"

"Okay. I won't do it anymore."

"Good to hear it."

"So, I have to get to class now."

"I'll join you."

"You're in my class?"

"Yes. I've always sat at the front, but apparently you didn't notice the back of my head."

He turned around and she realized that she saw the back of his head at least once during class.

"Oh! I remember now! You sit in the fourth seat from the window in the front row!"

"Brilliant deduction! Now Watson, onto the jolly old classroom!"

"Why are you speaking with an English accent? Plus, I'm a Ketchum! Not a Watson!"

"I know. Haven't you ever read Sherlock Holmes?"

"Who?"

"Cripes! You've never read good old Sherlock Holmes! You, my friend, need to accompany me to the library after school."

"Why?"

Sam looked frustrated.

"Don't start that whole thing again! Please!"

"Fine. But why are we going to the library?"

"To get a Sherlock Holmes book for you to read of course!"

"Oh! Of course."

"A horse is a horse! Of course of course!"

"Umm… Let's just get to class."

"Can do, will do, done!"

Sam dashed off and Taylor followed. In the classroom, Max and Liz were already seated.

Max waved when they walked in.

"Hi sis! Hi Sam!"

Sam waved back and plopped down in the front row. Taylor walked over and sat down next to Max. Class went by quickly, and soon school was over. Taylor, Max, and Liz were making their way home when Sam popped up. Liz narrowed her eyes yet once again.

"Hello Sam."

"Why can't you and your family just bury the hatchet Liz?"

Max saw the argument about to unfold and intervened.

"So Sam, what brings you here?"

"You mean to the sidewalk?"

"Umm… yeah."

"Well, Taylor said she'd go with me to the library."

"Why?"

"What is it with you people and one word questions that start with the letters 'w' and 'h'?"

"What?"

"ARGH! Look, I was going to check some Sherlock Holmes books out for Taylor, but I thought she might like to pick them out."

"Oh."

Sam turned to Taylor.

"So are you coming or not?"

"Why not?"
"Is that a rhetorical question?"

"Yes."

"Good. Let's go!" Sam darted off in the general direction of the Pallet Town Public Library. Taylor followed after him. When they arrived at the library, Sam immediately turned to Taylor and asked her the all-important question.

"So Taylor, do you have a library card?"

"Umm… No."
"You don't! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you were going to check the book out!"

"Oh. I guess I could. But that defeats the whole purpose."

"What purpose?"

"I'll have get back to you on that."

"Okay. Now where are the Sherlock Holmes books?"

"In the mystery section."

They made their way to the mystery section and located the Sherlock Holmes books. While Taylor made her selection as to which collection of Sherlock Holmes tales to check out, Sam went off on a talk about his favorite story.

"My personal favorite would have to be 'The Speckled Band.' It's about this woman whose creepy old family member is trying to kill her and gain her fortune. It's interesting because he uses a snake to do his dirty deeds. He trained it to travel through the air conditioning duct to her room, travel down a rope, bite her and inject it's deadly venom, and then travel back to his room to be locked in a safe so no one would find it. I like when they're crossing the lawn and the cheetah… where'd you go?"

Sam looked around but couldn't find Taylor. He walked around the bookshelves and found her looking in the romance section.

"There you are. Did you find a Sherlock book you liked?"

"Yeah. I just wanted to look at the books over here."

"Oh. So I take it you like romance books?"

"Yeah. I guess you could even call me a hopeless romantic."

"Why would I call you hopeless? I've never heard that saying before."

"Well, I don't know actually. I've just been called that before."

"Whatever. I'm not one for romance anyway. Too mushy."

"Mushy?"

"Gross. As my mother would say, I'm not very mature. Oh well. Let's go check out."

Sam checked out the book and they walked out of the library.

"Don't forget Taylor, that book's due back in two weeks."

"Okay."

Sam made his way to his house while Taylor made her way to her own residence. When she arrived at home, she found Max in a sulky mood.

"Why so upset?"

"I walked Liz home, and apparently, Ian is better, but he's not very healthy anymore. So Ian and his family are moving to Littleroot Town for Ian's health. But Liz is staying behind."

"So why are you glum?"

"Ian's my best friend!"

"Oh. When are they moving?"

"Next week. They already found a house and they're going to keep their house up here as a vacation home."

"Where's Liz going to stay?"

"With relatives."

"Which relatives?"

"Sam and his family. They live a couple of blocks from here."

Any friendship she may have had with Sam evaporated. In her opinion, it was Sam's fault her umm…'boyfriend' was moving away. Taylor ran up to her room while Max went back to watching T.V. Guess what! It's time for another subplot! Yay! Across the ocean, on another continent, in a distant land, there lived a content family. Now, this family consisted of a mom, a dad, and two teenage twin sisters. If you guessed that this family was none other than May, Brock, Abby, and Courtney, give yourself a pat on the back. Anyway, Brock was an awesome gym leader, May was content with being a world champion Pokemon Coordinator, and Abby and Courtney were happy in school. One day, the two sisters where walking home from school.

"So Abby, what do you think of that new boy band?"

"Didn't you hear? They were lip-synching all along!"

"Oh. So Abby, what did you think of that new movie?"

"That Thing You Doduo?"

"Yeah."

"It's a pretty good movie. I liked that one part. You know what I'm talking about?"

"Captain Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters?"

"Yeah!"

"That was funny."

"Hey look! Look's like someone's moving in next-door!"

"Let's go welcome them to the neighborhood!"

They walked over to the house, past the moving van, and knocked on the front door. A teenage boy about their age opened it.

"Can I help you?"

"We just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood! I'm Abby and this is my twin sister Courtney!"

"Oh. I'm Ian McGrubert. Those are my parents…"

He pointed at two people moving a couch inside. Then he turned back to them.

"So you two are twins?"

Courtney nodded while Abby stared at Ian.

"Yeah. I'm Courtney and this is Abby. You can tell us apart because I have a scar on my left arm. I was attacked by an Raticate once."

"Oh. I was attacked by a lot of rabid Skitty's not to long ago."

Courtney grimaced at the thought. She knew that Skitty's had surprising strength in their jaws.

"So where did you move from?"

"Pallet Town."

"Wow! I used to live there!"

"Where?"

"1031 Sycamore Street."

"That's where we lived!"

"Bizarre!"

"Say, we knew another pair of twins in Pallet. They weren't exactly alike though. One was a boy and the other was a girl."
"Were they're names Max and Taylor?"

"Yeah!"

"We knew them then. We were the best of friends until we moved away. How are they?"

"Pretty good. My sister is going out with Max."

Abby straightened up.

"You have a sister?"

"Yeah. Her name's Liz. Mom and Dad thought it would be unfair to make her leave all her friends just because I wasn't feeling well, so she's living with my aunt and uncle. Say, why are you staring at me like that?"

"Umm…no reason."

Abby was blushing. Just then, The Kilted Wonder popped his head out of a box.

"Hey! This isn't Johto! Must have taken a wrong turn in Albuquerque!"

Ian frowned.

"The one good thing about moving here is that we'd get away from you! Why are you here?"

"I thought I'd spread the holiday cheer to the people of Jamaica! But I got lost and decided to take a nap in this box of Beanie Babies! I also found this game of Clue! I'm very good when I play myself."

"AHHHH! Those things are worth a fortune! You've ruined the collectors value!"

Ian dashed over to a box of cutlery and pulled out a carving knife.

"Ian McGrubert, on the front porch, with a knife! How's that for a game of Clue?"

The Kilted Wonder dashed off in the general direction of the airport. Abby stared at Ian.

"You collect Beanie Babies?"

"No. My mom does, so I know all about them. I used to play with them a long time ago."

Abby picked up where Ian left off.

"In a galaxy far, far away."

"You like Staryu Wars?!"

"Yeah."
"Me too!"

"I can't wait for 'Staryu Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith' to come out!" (A/N I just couldn't blemish the final Star Wars film. Also, everyone keeps telling me not to put these notes in the story, but they'd seem out of place at the end of the chapter, and I'm not gonna publish these things in an actual book. I'm just sharing my stories to other fanfic fans online. So what I'm trying to say is, GET OFF MY BACK!) Ian and Abby started talking about Staryu Wars while Courtney decided to go home. She despised Staryu Wars, and she knew that once her sister started talking about it, she went on for hours. She arrived home and went to get a snack. May was in the kitchen.

"Hi mom. Whatcha making?"

"I'm trying to make a salad for dinner. I was never much of a cook, but the recipe seems simple enough."

"Call me crazy mom, but I don't think you fry the lettuce in vegetable oil with a bread batter over it."

May looked at her recipe book. She flipped back and forth between two pages.

"Stupid book. The pages were stuck together. I was combining a salad with a fried fish recipe. Oh well, fried lettuce, tomatoes, celery, and spinach for dinner then!"

Having lost her appetite, Courtney went up to her room and put away her backpack. Then she got on the computer and decided to serve up justice online with Unreal Tournament 2020. Yeah, sixteen years have gone by and Unreal Tournament still stands strong! Anyway, she logged on under her nom de plume, which is another way to say assumed name, GutBuster2020. I like that name for some reason. I have this catchy little jingle for it. 'Who ya gonna call? GutBuster!' It's kinda like the Ghostbusters theme song. Anyhow, She was playing against one player in a one-on-one capture the flag match. This player was MaxK12. Can you guess who that would be? Well, I'll tell you. Max Ketchum is not very creative with his online names. So Courtney Slate, that's Brock's last name, was up against Max Ketchum. Life's full of coincidences, isn't it? So after fighting each other for a while, Courtney came out on top. Then she left her room and went downstairs, seeing as it was dinnertime. Now, you may be wondering why I just went through that whole Unreal Tournament thing, but it has a significance that will be quite obvious later on in the story. So anyway, while Brock, Abby, and Courtney were trying to consume May's abysmal cooking without puking, the Ketchum family was just getting ready for a wonderful weekend of doing nothing. See, I figure that Kanto and Hoenn have about a 12-hour time difference in this story. So while it was 6:30 P.M. on a Friday in Hoenn, it was 6:30 A.M. on a Saturday in Kanto. And as you should know by now, Max is an early riser. So, Max logged off the Internet and ate some breakfast. Then, seeing as Taylor was on the couch watching T.V. and she had her pillow in one hand, he decided to go for an early morning walk.

"Taylor, I'm going for a walk. Okay?"

Taylor yawned in response and Max walked out the door. He walked slowly as to enjoy the cool morning air, the dew on the ground, and the sweet smell of coffee in the air. Then he realized he smelled coffee so he dashed off in search of his favorite beverage. He turned corner after corner and passed store after store until he smashed into a jogger by accident.

"Sorry about that. I just smelled coffee."

"No problem Max. Except that you just spilt my coffee."

Max got up from the ground and saw he had just run into Sam. He also noted that Sam had coffee all over his shirt.

"Sorry. I love coffee though. I was trying to find some to buy, but almost all the stores around here are convenience or drug stores."

"No problem. I love coffee as well. I like to fill the cup halfway with coffee, fill it up the rest of the way with creamer, and then dump half a cup of sugar into the mix. The result keeps me full of energy and without hunger for the rest of the morning."

"I like mine black. Any sugar or cream and I feel sick at my stomach."

"Oh. Say, the other day I said hi to Taylor and she shot daggers at me."
"She what?!"

"Out of her eyes. It's an expression. I thought everybody knew it. But she didn't shoot daggers out of her eyes at me. She just shot me a mean look, that's all. And when I say mean, I mean mean. Know what I mean?"

"My head hurts."

"Oh. Sorry. Anyway, why was she looking at me like that?"

"There are two possible answers. First, she thinks it's all your fault that Ian moved away, or second, her eyesight's failing so she was squinting."

"Squinting is not a mean look."

"Then you've never seen her squint. She wrinkles her brow, tilts her head down, and narrows her eyes. Apparently, it's quite an effective method for her."

"Oh. That's what she did."

"Then that settles it. She thinks it's all your fault."

"Okay. How did you come to that conclusion?"

"She shot you a mean look, but she made it look like she was squinting so that if you asked me, I'd think she was squinting. But she has 20/20 vision."

"Oh. Now my head hurts. Oh well. I'm way behind schedule. I should be at Bakerson's Bakery by now. Must go. Bye!"

Sam jogged off and Max made his way towards home. On the way, he saw Liz was sitting in the park. So naturally, he made his way over to ask her if she could talk some sense into Taylor. First off, he explained the predicament. Then…

"So Liz, could you talk some sense into Taylor?"

"Are you kidding? I think it's his fault as well."
"You know, you seemed a lot nicer when I first met you. Is something wrong?"

"My family moved away, I'm living with my lunatic of a cousin, and I've got no friends!"

"What're Taylor and I, next door neighbors?"

"No. You're my friends. But I mean like a boyfriend."

"Again I'll say, what am I, A next door neighbor?"

"I mean someone who loves me. Someone who'll stay by me no matter what. Someone who'll pledge their undying love to me anytime I ask!"

"Umm… again I'll say, what am I, a next door neighbor?"

Liz looked up at him. This is expected seeing as she's sitting down and Max's standing up. Crumb. I just ruined the mood.

"Y…You mean to say that you'd do all those things?"

"Yeah. What'd you think?"

"I thought this was just some High School crush that wouldn't last."

"Why?"
"Because we're in High School."

"And?"

She shrugged.

"I'd just heard that these things don't last."

"Well, just because someone says that, doesn't mean it's true."

The Kilted Wonder walked by.

"Now that's the holiday spirit! Wait just a sec…"

He climbed a tree behind them and lowered some mistletoe.

"So you're the guy who lowered mistletoe over us at the dance?"

"Yeah."

Max shook the tree and The Kilted Wonder fell out onto the ground.

"Look. Everyone is different and progresses at their own rate! Stop trying to force 'the holiday spirit' on us! Why not stick to your superhero job and save people?"

"W…Well I thought that I was saving people from the gloom of everyday life and cheering them up."

"Can you do that to other people then instead of doing it to just us?"
"I could, but someone paid me to do this and get you two to kiss. Being a superhero isn't the best paying job!"

"Who paid you?"

"He wouldn't tell me his name. But I'll stop bothering you now. I've done nothing but upset you guys. So here, you can each have a complementary kilt!"

He gave them each a kilt and walked off.

Max sat next to Liz.

"So, just because someone said that doesn't mean it's true."

Liz smiled and then leaned against him.

"Thanks Max. You know, I wished this relationship wouldn't end."

"Looks like your wish came true."

In the bushes across from them, Jason the photographer was looking through his camera, hoping that the day he'd been waiting for had finally come. He'd paid that guy in the kilt, he'd had fresh mistletoe flown in from a special flower shop in Hoenn, and he'd followed this boy around for two weeks already. All his trouble was about to pay off because… 'CLICK' and then again… 'CLICK' he'd gotten the pictures he needed to get lots and lots of money from that publicist. His day has come. And so he dashed off to develop the two photos that would give me a reason to write lots and lots of chapters. Back at the bench, Liz was smiling and blushing at the same time. Her watch beeped and she looked at it.

"I've got to get home. Mom said she'd call in fifteen minutes to let me know how the trip was. I'll see you around."

She got up and dashed off to get home in time. Max, who'd completely forgotten about Taylor's anger at Sam, got up and walked home in a very good mood. Upon arriving home, he plopped down next to Taylor.

"Where have you been? And why do you smell like coffee and lip gloss at the same time?"

"Well, I was walking down the street and I walked into Sam by accident. He spilt the coffee he was carrying."

"Oh, serves him right."

"Why?"

"Because of him, Ian moved away!"

"How is it his fault?"

"It just is!"

"Why?"
"Because Liz told me that she'd run into Sam the day before. She became mad because she remembered the Christmas Incident. So to cheer her up, Ian bought the Skitty-nip!"
"I see, so it's his fault that Ian's parents decided to move down to Hoenn to improve his health until he was better?"

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't know that when Ian's better they're moving back? That's why they didn't sell their house!"

Taylor smiled.

"That's great! Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I thought you knew. Now, you should probably apologize to Sam for using him as a scapegoat."

"Not until you tell me why you smell like lip gloss."

"I'd hoped you'd forgotten about that."

Taylor pulled out her handy dandy pillow.

"Nope. So explain yourself!"

"Well…I was in the park."
"And?"

"I saw Liz."

"And?"
"I talked to her."

"And?"
"I got a free kilt."
"And?"
"Liz got a free kilt."
"And?"

"I sat next to her."

"And?"

"The bushes across from us clicked like a camera."
"And?"

"My sister is really nosy."
"And?

"She's also very persistent."

"And?"

At this, Taylor pulled her pillow back as if about to hit an oncoming baseball with it.

"Fine. We…umm…kissed."
"And?"

"We kissed again."

"And?"
"That's it."

"And? Oh, sorry. So you kissed her?"
"Yeah."
"Twice?"

"Yeah."

"And she was okay with that?"

"We kissed twice. She wouldn't let me kiss her a second time unless she was okay with that."

"Good point."

"You realize that throughout this month we've made so many good points we could probably out poke a porcupine?"

"Yeah."

"By the way, I was thinking that since Ian has a Swablu, you guys could be pen pals."

"Good thinking. But why not use the phone?"

"Because you'd talk to him forever and amass lots of money in phone bills."

"Good point."

"Poor porcupine."

"Stop it."

"So, you should probably call him once to propose this new idea to him."

"Okay."

"And then you should go apologize to Sam."

"Okay."

"And try not to take to long on the phone."

"Okay."

"And give me your life savings."

"Ok…HEY! Nice try, but no."

"I thought I should at least try."

"And there's nothing wrong with that."

So Taylor went to call Ian. Across town, Jason was showing his photos to Susan, the publicist.

"So what do you think?"

"I think I'd better send these photos to Pokemon magazine A.S.A.P." Pokemon is like People magazine. Now you know.

"So, what about my pay?"

"I'll see how much Pokemon want for them and then give you forty percent."

"Fine with me."

"I'll call them right now. Go wait in that chair while I call them."

She walked into her office and called Pokemon. Jason sat around and did nothing for a few minutes and then Susan walked back out. She wrote a check and handed it to Jason.

"There you go. Forty percent."

He looked at the check. $400.

"They sure wanted those photos. $500 a piece! Most magazines wouldn't pay half that much for two photos of teens smooching."

"What can I say, that magazine is known to pay a lot of money for photos like that. Anything they can get on a celebrity or their relations is usually bought for ten times what it's worth. They don't ask how much you want for it. They make offers. That's why I went to them first."

"Say, couldn't you get in trouble for doing this without asking Ash or Misty first. They could fire you for bad press."

"Are you kidding? They'll need me to cover up this whole thing. And I put your name as the photographer. Not mine. So they don't know I'm involved. Also, I know a great lawyer you could hire if Ash and Misty sue you."

Jason gulped, then left. Susan smiled. In a couple of days, she'd be promoted to head of public relations for helping the Ketchum family out of the mess she made. If not, she'd make more messes until she was head of public relations. Life was good. Meanwhile, in the park, The Kilted Wonder was playing his bagpipe. He'd just started Amazing Grace when Jason walked up.

"I need to talk to you."
"If you want to hire me again, my answer is no way. Also, how'd you find me?"

"Bagpipe's aren't the quietest instrument in the world."

"That would be the dog whistle."

The Kilted Wonder held up a small whistle and blew. Instantly, barking could be heard for miles around. He stopped and so did the barking.

"I didn't want to hire you for another job. I wanted to give you the ten percent I promised. Here."

Jason handed him a check and walked off.

The Kilted Wonder looked at his check.

"I'm nearly killed by those kids and I get $40? Now I can buy a new book of carols for my bagpipe!"

He walked towards the music store just as Taylor made her way towards the McGee residence.

She passed The Kilted Wonder and waved.

"How's the superhero business going?"

"I spread the holiday cheer and made $40!"

"Good for you!"

"Why are you in such high spirits? Usually you want to knock me unconscious with your pillow!"

"I thought my friend was gone for good but I found out he's moving back when he's better!"

"Why just a friend? Wasn't he your boyfriend?"

"He still is. I thought you knew so I didn't need to tell you again."

"But how did you know I knew? What if I didn't know that you knew that I knew that you knew that he was your boyfriend?"
"Because you tried to make us kiss under mistletoe!"

"Oh. Well, I'm going to get some bagpipe music now!"

"More power to ya!"

Taylor walked to Sam's house. She knocked on the door and Liz opened it.

"Hey Liz."

"Hey Taylor. What's up?"

"I came to see Sam, but I've got a bone to pick with you."

"What?"
"Did you kiss my brother?"

"He told you?"

"I had to force him to talk."

"With your pillow no doubt."

"Yup. So, are you two going on a date?"

"Umm…Sam! There's someone here to see you!"

Liz ran away and Sam walked in.

"Umm… Hi Taylor. How's the Sherlock Holmes book?"

"Don't change the subject Sam. You know why I'm here."

"You think it's my fault Ian moved away and you want to knock me unconscious with your pillow."

"Why does everyone think I want to knock them unconscious with my pillow?"

"Because you do."

"That's besides the point. I came here to apologize."

"Really?"

"Yes."
"What if this is just a trick so you can knock me unconscious with your pillow?"
"It isn't. I promise."
"Okay. I'll take your word for it."
"Okay. Sam, I'm sorry for using you as a scapegoat because my best friend…"
"I thought he was your boyfriend."
"Don't interrupt me. I'm sorry for using you as a scapegoat because my best friend…"

"Boyfriend."

"You're pushing it."

"Sorry."

"I'm sorry for using you as a scapegoat because my best friend moved away. Will you forgive me?"
"I don't know."

"Why not?"
"You could just be trying to get me to let my guard down so you can knock me…"
"Look, I am not trying, nor do I want to, knock you unconscious. I am merely asking if you'll forgive me."

"Can you prove that though?"

"No."

"So you want me to take your word?"

"Yes."

"How credible is your word?"

"You just took my word for it!"

"When?"

"Twenty-two sentences ago."

"Oh."

"So will you forgive me?"

"I'll have to think about it."

"Please?"

"Maybe."

"Why are you taking so long to come to a conclusion?"

"Because a mind is a terrible thing to waste."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"So what's your answer?"

"I don't know."

"What do you want?"

"What do you mean?"

"What can I do to make this nightmare end?"

"How about a penny?"

Taylor dug into her pocket and came up with a penny.

"How's this?"

"Perfect."

"Good. So forgive me now."

"Okay. I forgive you."

Maybe out of happiness that the ordeal was over, maybe because she was trying to prove she was a good friend and truly was sorry, whatever the reason, Taylor gave him a big hug. Liz walked in mid hug and a shocked expression came over her face.

"OMG! You like him?"

"OMG? What's that mean?"

"Sorry. I just got off a chat room. Oh my goodness! You like him?"

Taylor blushed. That's a sign if I ever saw one that my plot twists are pretty cliché.

"No."

"Then why are you blushing?"

"I'm not! My face turns red when it's hot out. It's just hot in here."

"Right. If you say so."

"I've got to be going."

Taylor got up and walked out the door. Liz turned to Sam.

"Does she like you?"

"I don't know. She gave me a penny though."

"Umm…Okay. Do you like her?"

"Hmm…I'm new to the concept of romance. If I were in love, what would it feel like?"
"Differs for each person. But for most, you feel all warm and fuzzy inside"

"So it wouldn't feel any different from an epiphany."

"No. If you'd have let me finish, I would have said that all you can think about is the person you're in love with."

"Oh. Hmm… I'll have to get back to you on that."

"What?"

"Whether I'm in love or not."

"Oh."

"Wow, do you realize we've had a conversation for one whole minute without you mentioning…"

"By the way, I haven't forgotten the Christmas Incident."

"Never mind."

Chameleon Freak: Sorry it took so long. School is upon me. So it will definitely take longer to crank out a chapter now. Well, the song.

Luau!

If you're hungry for a hunk of fat and juicy meat,

Eat my buddy Pumbaa here because he is a treat!

Come on down and dine,

On this tasty swine,

All you have to do is get in line!

Are you achin'?

Yup, Yup, Yup!

For some bacon?

Yup, Yup, Yup!

He's a big pig!

Yup, Yup!

You can be a big pig too!

Goodbye for now!