This fanfic has been brought to you by the author Chameleon Freak!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Pokemon. I just want an Alakazam, then I can hypnotize Nintendo and Pokemon will be mine, and then I'll be happy.
Flee For Your Life!
Chapter 4: Crucial Revelations…NOT!
Taylor was walking down the sidewalk, whistling The Chicken Song. Everything was going great for her. The sky was blue, the grass was green, and she had received a letter from Ian a couple of days ago. She was on her way to pick up the latest copy of Pokemon from the newsstand. Sam ran around the corner towards her.
"There you are! I've been looking all over for you! Don't get the latest copy of Pokemon!"
"How'd you know I was getting that magazine?"
"Max told me you read it."
"Why can't I get it?"
"Because you don't want Max to see it."
"Why?"
Sam held up a copy of it.
"Ohhh! That's why!"
On the front was a picture of Max and Liz kissing.
"Yeah. Thank goodness Liz doesn't read this."
"Why do you have it?"
"I buy Nintendo Power every month. I saw this while at the newsstand."
"Oh. Is Nintendo Power a good magazine?"
"Depends on if you like video games. But that's beside the point. We need to break the news to Max and Liz as gently as possible before the media is at their front doors. Seeing as Liz despises (huh?) and I don't really understand girls anyway, I thought you could tell her and I could tell Max."
"Good idea."
The Kilted Wonder walked up.
"I think you should break the news to them at the same time. That way they can talk about it."
Sam started digging for a piece of paper while Taylor said, "That's the best advice you've ever given."
"I went to therapy!"
"Good for you."
Sam pulled out a piece of paper and a pen.
"Could I have your autograph? Please."
"Sure thing."
After getting an autograph, Sam said, "I'll get Max. You get Liz. Meet you at the park."
"See ya then."
Sam and Taylor went to round up Max and Liz. About five minutes later, Liz and Max were sitting next to each other in the park.
"Why did you want Liz and I to come here?"
Sam handed a copy of Pokemon to Liz and backed away. Taylor looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Sam just shrugged.
"Can't be too careful. She might think this is my fault."
"Oh."
Sam and Liz stared at the magazine for a few seconds then Max said,
"That explains why the bushes were clicking."
Liz nodded.
Taylor was shocked.
"You guys aren't…mad?"
Max shook his head.
"No. Dad is a Pokemon Master and Mom is the most popular member of the Elite Four."
Gary walked by.
"That publicist was biased!"
They ignored him and Max kept on talking.
"So it's my fault. I'm sorry Liz."
"Did you hear me? That publicist is a big fat old biased jerk!"
"It's okay Max. I don't care."
"SHE'S BIASED I TELL YOU!"
"Oh. That's the best news I've heard all day Liz!"
"SHE
THINKS SHE CAN JUST WALK IN AND RUIN
MY…"
Liz turned to Gary.
"Stop yapping already!"
"Fine. But you know I'm right."
Taylor walked over to Gary.
"Meet my little friend, Mr. Pillow!"
"AHHH! THE PAIN!"
Gary ran off and Taylor walked back over.
"We'll just leave you two alone."
Sam turned to Taylor.
"We will?"
"Yes Sam."
She shot him a let's-leave-them-alone type of look and he shrugged.
"Okay. I'll go. Bye Max. Bye Liz."
Taylor and Sam walked away.
"Why'd you make me leave Taylor? They were just about to smooch!"
"I thought you didn't like romantic stuff."
"I don't. I wanted to laugh at them."
"That's mature."
"I told you before, most people I know think I'm 'immature'."
"Doesn't that bother you?"
"Not really. Say, what's a Swablu doing in Kanto? They're native to the Hoenn region."
Taylor looked up and saw a Swablu coming towards them.
"It must be from Ian. We're pen pals."
"Oh. Awww man!"
"What?"
She turned towards him and saw that the Swablu had decided to relieve itself directly over Sam's head.
"You might want to get some tissues or something."
"I'll go take care of that. See ya later."
Sam walked off and Taylor grabbed the note from the Swablu. She walked home to read it and then write her reply. Upon arriving at her house, she found Max watching T.V. and Sam doing the same.
"You two got here pretty quickly."
Sam shrugged. "That new show that reviews video games is on."
"I heard about that. It's called Judgment Day right? Is it any good?"
Max nodded. "Yeah. These two hosts are constantly arguing! Its hilarious!"
"I'm going upstairs."
"Gee sis, do you need to tell us every time you do something?"
Taylor just walked up to her room to read the letter. It read:
"Dear Taylor,
Everything here is a lot hotter than up in Pallet. I'm wearing a t-shirt and shorts in the middle of February! I met some old friends of yours. I don't know if you remember them, but their names are Courtney and Abby Slate. Abby seems to enjoy Staryu Wars just as much as you and I. But Courtney only likes to talk about boy bands and chick flicks. Hope you're having a good day. Also, I was walking by the newsstand today and I saw Liz and Max kissing on the cover of Pokemon! It was pretty surprising to see my sister on the cover of Pokemon! Tell everyone I said hi.
Love,
Ian"
She wrote out a letter in response and gave it to the Swablu. She watched it fly away towards Hoenn, which was to the West. All of a sudden, Max and Sam burst into her room. They were both jumping up and down and they each had an opened can of soda in one hand.
"Hey sis, check this out!"
Max and Sam stopped jumping and a look of deep concentration set upon their faces. Max raised his hand and dropped it again. As one, they let out long, loud burps that were so powerful they made their eyes pop. When they were finished, they both applauded each other. Finally, Max spoke.
"We made a new sport. We call it Synchronized Burping. Teams of two chug a can of soda each and then burp as close together as possible. They're then judged on volume, smell, and expression."
"Expression?"
"Teams try to pull funny faces that compliment the other person's funny face while burping at the same time! We're going to submit our sport for the Summer Olympics!"
"Good for you. But could more than two people be on a team?"
"I guess so. We could have different categories! C'mon Sam! We need to figure out the rules and regulations."
"Just a sec."
Sam looked like he was about to puke and Taylor stared at him with a worried expression. You would too if someone was about to puke on your rug. Sam let out another loud burp and then they exited the room. Up at the Indigo Plateau, Susan the publicist was in big time trouble. Tim Evans, Chairman of the Pokemon League Association General Underlying Enforcement committee, or The PLAGUE, as the members of the League called it, was talking to Ash and Misty about what to do with Susan. He had a cheesy haircut that tried to cover up the fact that his red hair was falling out. Think Donald Trump. The rest of the Elite Four just happened to be in the room as well.
"Should we fire her, sue her, or give her an excessive fine?"
"Why are you asking Misty and myself?"
"Because she paid a photographer to shoot embarrassing pictures of your children. The committee saw the picture, called up the photographer, and found out Susan had hired him! So it's only fitting that you decide." Instantly, Ash, Gary, Steven, and Lance all said the exact same thing at the exact same time.
"She's biased! She must go!"
Misty was a little less harsh.
"Let's just fine her."
Again, the boys said the same thing at the same time.
"You just want to give her a fine because she said you were the most popular member of the League! She offered no proof of that! She must go!"
Misty frowned. The publicist hadn't shown any proof, but she liked the feeling of being the most popular.
The boys seemed to know this, so as one they said,
"You should know by now that popularity isn't everything! She must go!"
Misty realized they were right.
"I guess you guys are right. I guess we should fire her."
The boys did a victory dance and then they faced Tim Evans. Once again, as one they stated,
"We have decided that Susan must go. FIRE HER!"
The boys ran off to celebrate with Misty right behind them. Tim went to Susan's office and found her filing some paperwork.
"Susan, the League has
come to its decision."
"What is it?"
"You're fired!"
Susan frowned.
"You can't do this! Who'll take my place? I'm the best there is!"
"Actually, the photographer is taking your place."
"Who?"
Jason walked in.
"Hi."
"NOOOOOOOO!"
So Susan got her just deserts. But since she was mean to other people, she didn't get any desert. So she got her just asparagus instead. Back at the Ketchum residence, Gary, Ash, Steven, Lance, and Misty burst through the door. Taylor looked away from the T.V.
"What are Gary, Lance, and Steven doing here?"
Ash smiled.
"We're celebrating!"
"What are you celebrating?"
"The exile of Susan the evil publicist!"
"Okay."
So Susan was gone, The Elite Four plus Ash were celebrating, and Taylor and Max developed large headaches from the noise the Elite Four plus Ash made. Weeks passed, and soon it was St. Patrick's Day. You should have realized by now one of the main themes of this story is the holidays. Anyway, Taylor and Max got ready for school. Taylor was wearing green pants, while Max was wearing a green t-shirt. They finished breakfast and heard a knock at the door. Taylor opened the door with Max right next to her. Upon seeing who was at the door, their jaws dropped as far as possible. Sam was standing at the door smiling. He started to speak with an Irish accent.
"Happy St. Patrick's Day! Notice I'm wearing a green t-shirt, green pants, green socks, green shoes, a green bowler hat with a four-leaf clover, I won't show you but I have green underwear, I painted my skin green, and I dyed my hair green!"
Max smiled. "You like St. Patrick's Day I'm guessing."
"Aye. Also, here's a bar of Irish Spring Soap, and a little box of Lucky Charms!"
Taylor closed her mouth. "Umm… thanks."
"Oh! I almost forgot!"
Sam held up a Pokeball and released a little Pichu with a mini green bowler that looked like Sam's. He pulled a green boombox out of his green backpack, put in a green CD, and put it next to the Pichu.
Sam took a deep breath and said, "Hit it Petey!"
The Pichu pressed play and Riverdance music started playing. Sam and the Pichu tap-danced in time to the music in an Irish Jig. The song finished and Sam and Petey the Pichu bowed. Sam put away the boombox, pulled out a green leash and green collar, put them on Petey, and smiled.
"So, I see you're showing your holiday spirit by wearing green as well."
Taylor nodded. "Umm…yeah. Cute Pichu you have there."
Petey smiled and hopped on top of Sam's head.
"Yeah. He has a fast metabolism though. He has to go at least once every two hours."
Max was shocked. "Wow. That's a fast metabolism."
"I have to keep food in one pocket of my backpack. Plus, I have a small litter box in my backpack. If he needs to go he just…"
He trailed off as Petey darted into his backpack through a hole in the side.
Taylor frowned. "What if it spills?"
"It wouldn't because I made the bottom of my backpack so it wouldn't tip at all. Plus I take it out when I get home."
"Oh. Well, Max, Sam, it's time to go to school!"
Sam started off and Max asked,
"Where's Liz?"
"She didn't want to walk with me! Imagine that!"
The Kilted wonder popped up wearing the same ensemble as Sam, except he wore a green kilt instead of pants.
"I see you kids are showing the…"
Max and Taylor said as one, "The holiday spirit. We know."
"Oh."
Sam spoke up. "If you're Scottish, why are you celebrating an Irish holiday?"
"Why not?"
"Good point."
Max spoke up. "Poor porcupine."
Taylor sighed. "Give it a rest!"
"Fine."
The Kilted Wonder said goodbye and walked off. Max, Taylor, and Sam walked the rest of the way in silence. When they got to school, Max and Taylor quickly came up with excuses to stay away from Sam for the day.
"Look Sam, Taylor and I are going to just stay with each other for today. We had the outfits planned so that when we walked around today, the outfits would compliment each other. You would just ruin that. No offense."
"None taken. See you guys later."
Sam walked into school and all eyes fixed upon him in an instant. Taylor and Max walked away from him towards their class. When they arrived, they found Liz sitting in her usual seat. She waved.
"Have you guys seen Sam yet?"
Taylor nodded. "We walked to school with him."
"Pretty weird right?"
Max spoke up. "Maybe so. But we got free soap and cereal!"
Liz smiled. "Good point."
"Poor porcupine."
Taylor would have hit Max with her pillow, but class started right then. After school was over, all four of them made their way to the park. Max, Taylor, and Liz soon left Sam in their tracks because he stopped to dance for almost everyone. They were watching a large flock of birds when Sam arrived.
"Guess what! Petey and I made 42.20 from dancing for everyone! I just wanted to let everyone know I didn't get lost. I'm off to dance some more!"
They started at him for a second and then went back to watching the birds. Meanwhile, Sam was walking towards the Indigo Plateau. The Kilted Wonder walked by and waved.
"Why're you heading to the Indigo Plateau?"
"Big Gym Leader Convention! Every gym leader in the world is going to be there! The Elite Four plus Mr. Ketchum are there as well!"
"So?"
"So… gym leaders and the Elite Four plus Mr. Ketchum are the richest people in the world! If anyone will cough up a lot of money for my act, it's them!"
"Oh. So how long is the convention?"
"All week. But mom made me promise I'd only dress up like this today. So I can't go back tomorrow."
"Oh. Happy hunting!"
"Thanks."
Sam walked on until he reached the Plateau.
"Thank goodness it's an outdoor convention." Sam said to himself. He set to work dancing with Petey by his side, and soon he'd made triple the money he'd made in town. He was doing the last jig he could because in front of Ash, Sabrina, Koga, Wallace, and Roxanne. A few minutes later, he pocketed his earnings and started to walk away when he spotted one familiar and two not so familiar faces. He waved and walked over to meet them.
"Hey Ian! How you
doing?"
Ian stared at him for a second then realized who he was.
"Hey Sam! Long time no see."
"Nice green watch!"
"Thanks. Nice green…everything."
"Thanks! Have you met Petey?"
Petey hopped into view.
"No. He's a cute Pichu though."
"Thanks. Who're they?"
"Oh. This is Abby, and this is her twin sister Courtney. Their dad is a gym leader and they tagged along. "Oh. It's nice to meet you. And you. I'm Sam."
Sam extended a hand. Abby and Courtney stared at him as though he had some odd disease and was contagious. Cautiously, Courtney reached out and shook his hand. Seeing that her sister wasn't mutating before her eyes, Abby shook hands with Sam as well.
"So, would you guys like to accompany me to the park? Max, Taylor, and Liz are all watching birds."
They nodded and followed Sam. Upon almost reaching the park, Petey hopped off Sam's head and ran to the park to relieve himself in the great outdoors. So, upon reaching the park, Sam ran over to play with Petey. Abby and Courtney made their way over to Max and Liz. Ian looked around and saw Taylor at the far end of the park.
"Taylor!"
Taylor whirled around and noticed an all too familiar figure running towards her.
"Ian!"
They ran towards each other with their arms extended so they could hug. Taylor and Ian were almost together when Ian slipped and fell on his back. He got up just as Taylor reached him. They hugged and then Taylor pulled away. She had some sort of goo all over her hands. Ian knew what it was.
"That's Pichu…stuff. I must have slipped and fallen on it."
They both looked at Sam who was innocently playing with Petey. Taylor whipped out her pillow and Ian picked up a stick. Sam saw them charging him and fled for his life. He jumped over the park bench that Max, Liz, Abby, and Courtney were sitting on. It fell over and Max, Liz, Courtney, and Abby all fell backwards. They became mad at him and charged as well. Sam ran through the park, knocking The Kilted Wonder's bagpipe to the ground. Soon he had exited the park with The Kilted Wonder, Ian, Taylor, Max, Liz, Abby, and Courtney all trying to inflict major bodily harm to him. He dashed through the streets, knocking over a young lady who had just purchased a frying pan. She swung at him with it and he narrowly missed the blow. So now he had a lady with a frying pan, The Kilted Wonder, Ian, Taylor, Max, Liz, Abby, and Courtney all trying to inflict major bodily harm to him. He dashed up to the Indigo Plateau, knocking over guard after guard as he went. By the time he reached the Plateau, he had twenty guards, a lady with a frying pan, The Kilted Wonder, Ian, Taylor, Max, Liz, Abby, and Courtney all trying to inflict major bodily harm to him. He ran through the convention area, knocking over gym leader after gym leader and booth after booth. Soon, he had every gym leader, every booth attendant, twenty guards, a lady with a frying pan, The Kilted Wonder, Ian, Taylor, Max, Liz, Abby, and Courtney all trying to inflict major bodily harm to him. The Elite Four plus Ash were painting a large mural for press purposes when Sam ran by, Gary, Steven, Lance, Misty, and Ash all got paint on them in at least one place. So Sam had Ash, Misty, Gary, Lance, Steven, every gym leader, every booth attendant, twenty guards, a lady with a frying pan, The Kilted Wonder, Ian, Taylor, Max, Liz, Abby, and Courtney all trying to inflict major bodily harm to him. Seeing as that's everyone I can think of, I'll move on. While running, Ian suddenly spoke up.
"I forgot to tell you Taylor, the doctor says I'm cured, so my family and myself are moving back up next week!"
Sam, being chased by an angry mob, wasn't very happy.
A frying pan connected with Sam's head, and he went down and the crowd swarmed around him. As all this was happening, Taylor thought, "This is the best day of my life!" Ian was moving back, Sam was being pummeled by an angry mob, and Liz and Max were together as well. And so I say to you all,
THE END!