Let me just start by saying my muse is back and I think she brought a friend. I would like to say a big thank you to missmcweir and Lyny Angell for my wonderful reviews and I hope that this new chapter will satisfy you for a little while. I'm actually quite proud of this one. It was hard to write from Peter's point of view without wanting to kill him off in the first paragraph. This is a little bit shorter than my other chapters but I promise to make it up to you later on in the story.
All Thinking is put in brackets.
Long Time Love.
Chapter 4.
From the moment he arrived at the party he wished he were back at home. He liked it when it was just the marauders. He didn't have to pretend then. They didn't care if he couldn't be bothered to comb his hair or dress nicely. But girls on the other hand, you had to be nice to them, he wasn't too good at that. He always got flustered and said the wrong thing around them. Why did he have to have a date anyway? (Because I would look like a complete idiot without one,) he thought. Remus had his girlfriend Kate, James had Lily and Sirius would have any girl who would let him and they usually did. But Peter, no one seemed to want him. He had to be set up on a blind date with someone he didn't even know the name of. He felt sure there must be someone out there that wasn't all that bothered about looks. He just had to find her.
When he got to Remus' flat he was very relieved to find that he was the first one there and his date hadn't seen him fall out of the fireplace and onto his arse. The minute he got into the kitchen he heard James. (Oh joy,) he thought. He had hoped he would have a little more time before the teasing started. He wasn't scared of everything, just heights. Oh and bees, horrible buzzy things trying to get into peoples ears. Maybe small places too, especially if they were dark. He didn't like going under water either, he thought that he would drown if he went too deep, but that didn't mean he was scared of it, honestly.
He looked over to Kate with something akin to gratitude when she tried to change the subject, but it ended up back on him anyway. At least he knew the name of his date now; he just hoped she wasn't too disappointed with him. A sudden crash brought him out of his self-pity for a moment and he followed Remus to see what happened. (It's nice to see someone else look like an idiot for a change,) he thought as he doubled up laughing at Sirius, not feeling at all guilty for his thoughts about someone who was supposed to be his friend.
As he straightened up he tried to get a glimpse under the woman's skirt, not that it was difficult, but he didn't want the others to see him doing it. He would probably get a knuckle sandwich from Sirius if they did. Watching Kate take her into the kitchen he was tempted to follow them but he couldn't. It was time for the first of the marauders meetings of the night, where he was expected to join in and laugh along with all the bits that were apparently funny. It was the price he paid for acceptance and popularity and he wasn't above doing it.
It wasn't always this way. Back in Hogwarts when it was just the 4 of them he was genuinely happy. But over this past year things changed and he knew just how it began. It started when James cracked a joke and everyone laughed except him.
FLASH BACK
"What's the matter Wormtail? You lost your sense of humour or something?" Sirius asked.
"No," he replied. "I just didn't think it was that funny."
END OF FLASH BACK
From the way they were looking at him anyone would have thought he had sprouted another head or something. From that moment on he promised himself that he would always laugh and he would always pretend to be interested in that moments topic of conversation. The trouble was it was getting harder and harder to pretend and he was actually glad that they didn't live together anymore. It was sad really; they had some great times together while it lasted. Now he was starting to resent them, being the butt of most of their jokes. He supposed he could leave the marauders but then he would be alone, if it weren't for them he would have no one and he couldn't let that happen. He would just have to suffer until he found a way out.
Peter groaned quietly when he saw the flames in the fire get bigger and turn green indicating an arrival. This was the moment of truth, both Lily and Susan were the only ones left. (Please like me, please like me,) he chanted in his head. Then he saw her. She was so beautiful she was like an angel. A vision. (No one like her could like someone like me,) he thought. Then she smiled at him, she was coming closer. (Oh dear Gods, what do I do?) He panicked. She was offering her cheek to him. Why was she doing that? (Kiss her you idiot,) his mind screamed at him, so he gave her a small peck on the cheek. At the offer of a drink from Remus she turned away from him. She didn't see him raise his fingers to his lips and smile.
From that moment on things went well. They Laughed. They drank. They danced. Peter even danced with Susan. He found that he didn't have to try around her. She made him happy. He didn't even have to fake it. All he knew was that he wanted that night to last forever. But as is always the case, the more you want time to slow down the faster it seems to go, and before Peter knew it, it was 1 o'clock in the morning.
Deciding he had had enough of singing stupid Quidditch songs, Peter squeezed himself out from in between James and Sirius and began to make his way to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and walked across the living room un-noticed. Just as he was opening the door to the hallway he heard his name mentioned.
"We nearly did at Hogwarts once but we got caught by Peter."
He smiled at the memory. How was he supposed to remember which sock meant what? And anyway, it was his dorm room too.
FLASH BACK
"A blue sock on the door handle means do NOT disturb," James yelled.
"I thought that was the red sock," Peter said rooted to the floor, eyes bulging at the sight of Lily trying to cover up.
"That means mischief in the making," James said using his hands to try to shoo him out of the door without having to get up.
"I thought that was the green sock," Peter said feeling really confused.
"Just get out Wormtail," James shouted throwing a pillow across the room at his head.
END OF FLASH BACK
Oh yes, they were good days.
"Speaking of Peter, I thought you said he was good looking?"
"Of course I did Suze, you wouldn't have come otherwise."
What little colour there was drained from his face and he slipped from the room silently.
(But she was different, she was supposed to be different,) he thought pacing up and down the hall.
(She let me kiss her. She danced with me. Kate and Lily are no better. I'm a marauder for Merlin's sake; they can't do this to me.)
Suddenly feeling unable to breath he opened the door and quietly let himself outside. That was better, sweet air. He took a few deep breaths before he started walking. What was he going to do? He couldn't let them know that he knew, but he wasn't sure he could pretend that he didn't either. He needed a drink. Hell, he needed the bottle.
After wandering the streets for the best part of half an hour he knew at least one thing. They would pay. Every damn one of them.
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To be continued.