Living Death
By TriGemini
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters, Rumiko Takahashi does.
This is how I feel every time Inuyasha goes to see Kikyou.
Every time he goes, it's excruciating and devastating for me to watch.
It's as if my heart is breaking into a thousand pieces every time he goes to her.
In a way, it's pure torment when I see him run to her while I slowly die every moment…slowly!
Bit by bit my will to go on is lessening... for I know I don't want to go on.
I know my love for him has gone unrequited all this time.
I've gone on knowing that he chose 'HER' the one person who so many years before betrayed him. Again, he blindly follows her into a fool's paradise.
She wants to drag him to HELL!
She also wants him to suffer.
However, I know Hell and I know suffering for I'm living with it at every moment of the day.
Doesn't he understand how much he's hurting the one person who truly loves him?
Who's willing to accept him for what he is?
No, he doesn't understand and he doesn't see.
Me…I'm the one who's been by his side faithfully since the beginning of this quest and I'm willing to sacrifice anything or everything just to see him happy.
NO!
For he's blinded by faith, by his love, for his guilt, and his vow for a woman who's a mere empty soulless shell and who is plainly evil, as well, for she has ensnared Inuyasha with her false lies and has played upon his old love for her and his guilt for her death.
He doesn't see the harm he's doing to me.
He doesn't even see my tears or hear my screams.
What happened to his vow to protect me?
After all, I've been living death all this time and I've had to endure it.
This living death will be my end.
My sanity, my soul will all go away for I live in this hell of pure misery until the very end.
When will he see it? Will he ever see it?
My suffering and pain.
For I've lost the will to go on living in this world of complete emptiness.
No longer do I want to see what could've been but wasn't meant to be.
For living death is quite heartbreaking.
Especially, when one's heart is full of heartache and there's no one to confide in.
Leaving all of this behind would be too easy.
For I've made a promise to Inuyasha to stay at his side no matter what the consequences.
Besides, if I truly have to suffer as the time goes by…I will just close myself off.
I'll only make it as far as I can go without any harm to anyone else for living in silence is better, too.
For I know I'll only survive with this living death until it's my time to go.
A/N: So was this good to read? Please review and tell me.