Disclaimer: If you look at my account balance, it becomes painfully obvious that I am not Josh Schwartz.
Author's Notes:
I apologize if the formatting sucks. I'm still trying to get the hang of 's new editing software.
Leentje—Thanks for your review. I'm glad you liked the last chapter.
Melanie39—this chapter goes out to you and your request for Ryan/Kirsten scenes. Hope you like!
HateToSayIToldYouSo—I am seriously in awe of how well you write for your characters. Especially your amazing talent for writing funny scenes. Humor is so much harder to write than angst, in my opinion. I look forward to seeing more from you!
Silverweaver—Yet another one of my favorite OC fanfic authors. I'm very flattered that you like this.
Elzed—more happiness in this chapter, as requested. Maybe not fluff, but lighter than the tone of the story has been so far. Ryan and Sandy golfing together would be so fun to write, but I'm not sure if Ryan would ever agree to that. I definitely have plans for them to hang out more in the next chapter, though.
Oh, and more Chinos Redux. Now. Please?
Antigone 11—I think you're right about Ryan still feeling that his needs are more important than other people's, but I'm not sure if he's ready to admit that just yet. I think it's easier for him to talk about how he failed to protect his mom and Marissa than it is to discuss how afraid he is that he's going to disappoint the Cohens.
BonnieD—Ryan would in therapy would be interesting to see on the show, but like you said, I don't know if we'll ever get to see that. It's nice to see him settling into his new life and feeling more comfortable, but I have to admit I enjoy Brooding!Ryan as well.
Make it stop Jamie—Glad you liked this. Thanks for reviewing.
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Ryan never thought he'd miss the hospital, but after he had been out for about six hours and was halfway across the country, he began to wish he'd stayed a little longer. Not that he wasn't happy to be out, but now that he was on his way back to California he would have to soon face everyone back in Newport, who were bound to be wondering why he had come back from college so quickly. He knew the Cohens weren't about to go telling everyone they knew, but word was bound to leak out.
Ryan sighed and stared out the window, which turned out to be a very bad idea. He shut the windowshade quickly and took a deep breath, trying to calm the butterflies in his stomach. Flying wasn't so bad if you could pretend that you were just sitting in some weird, long room with lots of other people. While hovering thirty thousand feet above the ground.
Shit.
Kirsten touched his hand lightly. "You okay?"
Ryan nodded. "I'm fine. Not a big fan of heights."
"Oh, Ryan." Kirsten shook her head. "Why don't you take a nap or something? We've got another three hours before we land."
Ryan shrugged. "I'm not that tired." That, and he was still having nightmares. The last thing he wanted to do was have one right in front of Kirsten.
"Are you sure you're all right?" Kirsten asked gently. She didn't want to push him too much, but Ryan seemed more preoccupied than usual and she didn't think it was due to his fear of heights. "You're worried about going back, aren't you?"
"Maybe we could take a little vacation before we go back to Newport," Ryan suggested. "We don't have to be back right away, do we?"
Kirsten couldn't help smiling. "You sound like me the Monday after I got drunk on Thanksgiving and wanted to stay home from yogalates."
Ryan snickered. "Yogalates."
"Not you too," Kirsten complained. "Anyhow, I know how scary a place like Newport can be. But you're not going to go through this alone, Ryan. I hope you know that."
Ryan nodded ever so slightly. "Thanks," he whispered.
"So what's the movie for this flight?" Kirsten asked, changing the subject.
Ryan groaned. "A chick flick."
Kirsten grinned. "Come on, I'm sure it'll be entertaining. Better than staring at the seat in front of you for the next three hours."
Ryan was reluctant. "I don't know about that. And Seth would never let me hear the end of it."
Kirsten shook her head. "Sandy and Seth are sitting way in the back of the plane. They'll never know."
"I'm not sure," Ryan said hesitantly.
Kirsten flipped through the airline magazine. "It has Cameron Diaz in it."
"She is really hot," Ryan gave in. "Promise you won't tell Seth?"
Kirsten smiled and handed him a set of headphones. "Cross my heart."
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As happy as he was that Ryan was coming home, Sandy couldn't help but be worried. He hadn't liked the thought of Ryan being in the hospital, but at least there he hadn't had to worry about the boy's safety. At home, it simply wouldn't be possible to watch Ryan twenty-four hours a day, and even if it was, Sandy didn't know how much good it would do. Ryan would be safe, yes, but would he be happy?
Sandy didn't know what to do.
He was familiar with the trials of fatherhood. Eighteen years of parenting Seth had given him a world of experience. He had survived sleepless nights with a crying, colicky infant, and suffered through that seemingly endless summer where Ryan had been in Chino with a pregnant Theresa and Seth off sailing to God knew where. He had been so young when Seth was born, only twenty-three, but even then Sandy had understood the awesome responsibility that came with parenthood. The first time he had held Seth in his arms, he knew that he would never stop worrying about him.
Ryan was a different story. Looking back, Sandy admitted that he had first taken the boy in to prove something to himself, to show the world what a wonderful, generous person Sandy Cohen was. There had been other reasons too, but bringing Ryan to Newport had been an altruistic action, a way to prove something to himself. But then he had gotten to know Ryan, had gotten to see the smart, funny, loyal teenager that he was, and before Sandy realized it, he had stopped thinking of Ryan as a project and started thinking of him as his son.
Ryan needed help, and Sandy didn't know how to help him. He could get the boy out of jail, send him to a private school and give him a chance to rise above poverty and a broken family. If anyone threatened Ryan, Sandy was ready to step in front of the boy and protect him from harm. But this was different. He didn't know how to save Ryan from himself.
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Sandy, Kirsten, and Ryan took a cab back to Newport after saying goodbye to Seth at the airport. He was continuing on to Oakland, but promised to come home in two weeks for Caleb's birthday. Seth had seemed uneasy saying goodbye to Ryan, no doubt remembering the last time he had left for college, but seemed less anxious after Ryan shook his hand and told him he'd see him in two weeks.
They had just arrived back in Newport when Kirsten brought up the subject. She and Sandy had talked about it a couple of days ago, but decided to ask Ryan about it before acting, in light of Ryan's reaction to being hospitalized. Sandy had gone into the kitchen to order Chinese, and she called Ryan into the living room and told him to have a seat next to her on the sofa.
"Am I in trouble?" he asked uncertainly. "I was just going to go out to the pool house and put my stuff away."
"You're not in trouble," Kirsten reassured him. "Sandy and I were just thinking that you might want to move into the house instead."
Ryan gave her a skeptical look. "You just now thought about this?"
"I know," Kirsten sighed. "But I can promise you that I'm not just bringing this up so we can keep an eye on you. You're a part of the family, Ryan. We thought you might like to have your own room in the house."
"But you do want to keep an eye on me," Ryan answered.
Kirsten sighed, knowing that Ryan would be able to tell if she lied. "Yes, that's part of it. A minor part of it."
"I'm not going to do anything," Ryan insisted. "You don't have to worry about me."
"Yes we do," Kirsten insisted. "Ryan, you've been through so much, and it would shatter this family if anything happened to you. Sandy and I are your—"she almost said "parents", but realized that Ryan wasn't ready for that yet—"your guardians, Ryan, and we're going to worry about you no matter what. It comes with the territory."
Ryan thought for a moment. "Can I go back to the pool house if I don't like living in the house?"
"That sounds like a reasonable request," Kirsten agreed.
"You're not going to make me go shopping for sheets and stuff, are you?" Ryan asked, looking bored at the mere thought. "I mean, I will if you want me to."
Kirsten laughed. "I'll take care of the linens, but Sandy and I thought you might want to pick out some posters and other decorations for the room. We want you to feel at home."
"I already do," Ryan answered with a shy smile. "It's nice to be back."
Kirsten couldn't help herself. She gave Ryan a quick hug and rumpled his hair a bit. Seth always whined at her when she did it to him, but Ryan seemed to enjoy the bits of affection, although he rarely instigated them himself.
"It's good to have you home, Ryan."