Chapter 17
Holding Out for Retribution
Weeks passed since the assassination of Caesar.
During the time after their departure from the Fort, Sandra and her companions returned to the Strip, slowly getting Melody accustomed to her new life outside of the Legion. Sandra took the elevator up to the Lucky 38 penthouse at last, and after a long conversation with Mr. House, she and her companions were given the presidential suite as a gesture of good faith. Afterward, Sandra and her friends left the Strip, departing on their first journey to find the various factions in the Mojave wasteland—their first destination was the home of the Brotherhood of Steel.
However, unfortunately, Sandra and her friends were clueless to their whereabouts. So, for nearly two days straight, they followed numerous rumors and traveled in various areas around Sloan, looking for a supposed 'hidden valley' somewhere nearby, though they had no luck finding the place thus far.
Today, they were headed north of Sloan, despite the warnings of the construction crew in town. Melody was wearing a new blue dress Sandra had bought for her, humming delightfully as she repeatedly grabbed ED-E from the air and hugged the robot. Sandra laughed and patted the girl on the head, turning and seeing that Niner was inhaling a puff of jet while Arcade tinkered with his plasma defender.
"Where're we going today?" Melody wondered, peering up at Sandra curiously.
"Hopefully to Hidden Valley, kiddo," Sandra replied. "If we can ever find the damn place."
"It wouldn't be Hidden Valley if it wasn't hidden, Six," Niner snarked.
"Shut your fat gay mouth," Sandra responded.
"Hey," Arcade took back. "I resent that."
"Can we listen to the radio again?" Melody asked Sandra, flashing her innocent smile and her disarming puppy-dog stare.
"Okay," Sandra sighed and smirked, holding up her pip-boy and tuning the radio. Instantly, an old country song began to play.
"We'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way… and Uncle Sam, put your name at the top of his list! And the Statue of Liberty started shakin' her fist! And the eagle will fly, and it's gonna be hell—when you hear mother freedom start a'ringin' her bell! And it'll feel like the whole wide world, is rainin' down on you… brought to you courtesy, of the red white n' blue!"
It was a song they'd all listened to more than once by now, and they began to sing along as they walked, Niner head-banging and Melody leaping up to Sandra, raising her arms. Sandra lifted her off the ground and placed the girl on her shoulders, giving her a free ride as ED-E bobbed in rhythm to the music alongside them.
For a while, they all smiled and laughed at each other whenever they messed up the lyrics. It'd been many nights since Sandra thought of the Fort or endured any flashbacks; she was farther from her problems than she ever remembered being before.
When the song was over, Sandra placed Melody on the pavement again, and Arcade observed the young girl.
"Melody… how old are you?" Arcade asked. "Do you know?"
"Twelve," Melody replied.
"Twelve?" Arcade uttered in disbelief.
"You can't be twelve," Niner said. "You're way too little."
"More like malnourished," Arcade grumbled. "I can't imagine they fed her worth a damn inside that hellhole…"
"Well, that's not a problem anymore," Sandra grinned, rustling Melody's hair. "She's my little Legion girl now."
Melody smiled, then lowered her head, wincing and wiping her eyes. There was a bit of dust in the wind, and it seemed to be blowing from somewhere left of the street.
Sandra glanced up, realizing they had arrived just in front of Quarry Junction, a place she did well to avoid until now.
"Er… maybe we should go back," Niner muttered warily. "We ain't no closer to finding this place, anyhow…"
"Yes… and this isn't a safe place for Melody," Arcade added. "Or us, for that matter."
"Okay," Sandra sighed, checking her pip-boy's map one more time. "We'll head back to Sloan for now. But I'm gonna come back here with some stealthboys, and…"
"Six," Niner said, his tone darkening instantly. "Look."
Sandra followed Niner's eyes, seeing that he was staring down the street—where four people were emerging from behind the nearest rocks, enclosing around the street and approaching them with haste. Sandra's heart could've stopped; even in the dusty winds, she spotted the crimcon-clad armor right away.
The Legionaries emerged, following their leader in stride—a man with an expression warped with fury, hands balled into fists, Caesar's displacer glove glowing a threatening blue from his right arm, his coyote headdress tenting over his searing cerulean glare.
"Vulpes," Arcade exhaled, shoving Melody behind him.
"Arcade," Sandra muttered, her eyes locking with the frumentarius. "Take Melody and run like hell. Go back to Sloan. We'll cover you and meet you there."
"But—"
"Don't argue with me, just do it. And Niner—if anything happens to me, you hightail it to Sloan, too."
Before her friends could respond, Vulpes slowed to a stop just across from her, wearing his full Legion attire minus the goggles. His displacer glove hummed from his side, his visage heavy with anger.
"What did you think, courier?" Vulpes growled in a low, eerie tone, his voice almost shaking as he took a step closer. "Did you think you'd wipe us all out and go about your merry way? Did you think you could assassinate the Son of Mars without retribution?"
Niner drew his rifle, Arcade backing away and lifting Melody off the ground, ED-E beeping angrily at the newcomers. Sandra stood front and center, merely returning Vulpes's stare coldly without replying.
"Did you think… because of me," Vulpes snarled through gritted teeth, inching steadily nearer. "That you'd get away with it?"
"No," Sandra said honestly. "And I didn't wanna kill all of you. I didn't wanna kill anyone—but Caesar was a tyrant. He needed to be removed from power. If you weren't under their thumb, you'd see that—"
"Did you not listen when I told you?" Vulpes snapped. "Did you not hear me when I stated plainly where my loyalties lie?"
"Yeah… I listened," Sandra replied vacantly. "I just don't believe you."
Vulpes cocked his head, leering dangerously into her and flashing a small, mad smirk. "Then believe me now."
His three followers advanced—one opened fire and hit Niner directly in his Kevlar vest—
"GO!" Sandra bellowed at Arcade, staggering away from the attackers and whipping out her shotgun. Arcade gave them a torn look before carrying Melody away at top speed.
Niner riddled one of the Legionaries with bullets—Sandra felt a hot bullet graze her arm terribly just before she hammered the trigger—ED-E shooting off his laser as his patriotic war melody echoed across the frantic scene.
The second Legionary fell dead to the pavement—the third lunging at Niner—
"'Ave it!" Niner yelled, he and Sandra shooting the man down in an instant.
Then—both of their guns clicked, the magazines now empty.
Vulpes remained—and he strode toward Sandra without hesitation.
Sandra scrambled away, backing toward Quarry Junction and meeting Niner's eyes. She made a sideways nod toward the road leading south, motioning for Niner to go.
Niner shook his head once, giving her a conflicted look.
Sandra swatted at him, backing deeper into the ravenous dust storm.
Vulpes stormed closer. Sandra glanced between him and the heart of Quarry Junction, a mad idea striking her—she didn't have time to reload and she couldn't handle Vulpes in hand-to-hand combat. There was only one solution—a completely insane one.
At that—Sandra whipped around and exploded into a run, sprinting directly into Quarry Junction with Vulpes hot on her tail.
"SIX!" Niner hollered after her, but Sandra vanished into the dust in no time.
Possessed with adrenaline and primed with fear, Sandra blinked several times as she ran through the dust storm, sand invading her eyes as she darted almost blindly into the junction. Vulpes bared his teeth like a predator as he barreled after her with the velocity of a freight train.
Then—Sandra let out a yell, a towering figure appearing in front of her. She snapped her eyes shut and dove between the deathclaw's legs, sliding across the sand and fumbling back to her feet.
The deathclaw released a low rumble, turning and seeing Vulpes approach next. It raised its massive claws and swung—Vulpes releasing a furious growl before launching his displacer glove into the creature's hand with all his might. The hand erupted into a sickening mess of blood and bone, the deathclaw shrieking in pain as Vulpes resumed his pace, storming past the beast and making chase farther.
Sandra ran desperately past the huge chunk of construction equipment to her left, silently praying for a miracle.
She skidded to an abrupt stop—yet another figure appearing farther into the storm, this one twice the size of the first, petrifying in stature and dark in its presence. The mother deathclaw slowly spread its arms, its wicked claws craning out extensively, a low, monstrous rumble echoing from the beast as it set its soulless white eyes onto Sandra.
Sandra stood petrified with shock, gaping at the monster in utter astonishment.
Before she could think—something rammed into her full force, slamming her to the ground and knocking half the wind out of her. She blinked and winced, now lying on her back—Vulpes mounting her, holding her down and raising his fist, his expression twisted with a painful sort of rage.
"Why couldn't you just…!" Vulpes glowered.
"Don't… there's a…!" Sandra choked in horror, trying to speak and gesture behind her head, but she couldn't.
A horrendous roar shook the atmosphere—and the monstrous black claws smashed into Vulpes, lifting him off Sandra and sending him flying through the air. Vulpes collided with a boulder, rolling down to the sand with his armor now in shreds, the monstrous mother deathclaw thumping toward him—Sandra scuttling backward as the beast stomped past her, narrowly missing her leg.
Gulping frantically, Sandra yanked her back off and groped around inside it hurriedly—pulling out her spare rounded magazine for the combat shotgun. The mother deathclaw's scaly lips unraveled, revealing rows of long, razor-edged teeth, its arm reaching high and preparing to penetrate Vulpes fully.
Sandra stumbled to her feet and reloaded her gun, firing off a shot and blasting a chunk of scaly skin from the monster's arm. The mother deathclaw growled angrily—craning its neck and slowly turning to face her.
"Yeah… okay," Sandra breathed exasperatedly as the monster stomped closer. "Okay, big girl… c'mon. Comr'ere. I got something for ya."
As the mother deathclaw loomed closer to her, Vulpes winced and bit his lip, grasping his bleeding torso and leaning on a rock as he slowly climbed to his feet. His disoriented gaze ventured across the way, where Sandra and the mother deathclaw shared a tense standoff—and behind both of them, another black deathclaw was emerging from the dust clouds.
"For the love of Mars," Vulpes rasped, backing away and stepping on a rock, hurriedly climbing to the top of the nearest boulder despite the horrid pain shooting up and down him.
The mother deathclaw towered over Sandra—and she stood still, feeling thoroughly terrified, but waiting for the best moment to strike. As she aligned her shotgun with the deathclaw's underbelly—the deathclaw began to swing—and she opened fire once more. Bullets shot and blasted into her soft white stomach, erupting in skin chunks and red mist that splattered across Sandra's cheek as she continued to fire, the monster jerking and twitching until its legs began to give.
Sandra finally lowered her gun, stepping backward several feet as the mother deathclaw crumbled in her stance. The dark creature collapsed awkwardly in the sand before her, her sharp curved horns almost penetrating her left foot as she hit the ground, falling still.
The thumping footsteps of the alpha deathclaw approached from behind—Sandra's heart leaped into her throat. She jerked around with widening eyes—and then—
Vulpes leaped from the highest rock, cocking his fist back and unleashing a war cry as he flew downward—smashing his displacer glove into the alpha deathclaw's skull from the side. The jaw snapped—an eye shooting from its socket as the skull crunched beneath the knuckles of the glove and the blinding blue light. The deathclaw hit the ground hard, sliding in the sand with Vulpes landing roughly on the creature's side, grasping one of its massive horns and just barely managing to land on his feet.
A long, tense silence fell, both of them heaving numerous rushed breaths.
Vuleps swallowed, placing his hand to his chest again, only just realizing that most of his body was saturated in blood—as the mother deathclaw had left three huge, deep gashes across his chest and stomach, blood pouring out of him profusely.
Sandra stared at him with a stony visage, tightening her grip on her shotgun and slowly beginning to approach him.
Vulpes stepped off the alpha deathclaw's corpse, the blood loss ambushing him very suddenly, his head beginning to spin. He grasped the closest boulder, slowly sinking downward and sitting on the sand.
Sandra took a steady stride toward him, Vulpes glaring up at her dazedly, leaning crookedly on the rock and resting his head on it. His eyes seemed to lose their impassioned shine, his expression no longer lit with fury, as a deep, somber tiredness had taken over him entirely.
Sandra stopped, glaring down at him and gently pressing the hot barrel of her shotgun to his forehead, her finger hovering at the trigger.
Vulpes blinked exhaustedly, staring up at her and showing no hint of resistance or fear. He simply waited, expecting the trigger to click, to see a brilliant flash, and to experience a hard cut to black…
But Sandra merely stared at him, holding the gun to his head and seeming to be deep in thought. A million thoughts and feelings raced through her, though she understood precious little of them. Even now, after all this—after bombing the Fort, after killing Caesar, and after Vulpes targeted her—she still felt empathy for him, and she couldn't know why.
However, as she stood before the wounded man who nearly died at the hands of a deathclaw, she did know one thing for certain now.
She'd experienced this very thing before.
Sandra maintained her stance, her expression hardening as a headache crept up on her. Flashes ran through her mind—images of a drearier wasteland than the Mojave, a white tower in the distance, a deathclaw attacking a man in a gray suit—and Sandra diving in to protect him. In fact, she remembered a child there, too—not Melody, another child. And she remembered hearing the bang-chk bang-chk of the combat shotgun then, back when it was wielded by her protector rather than herself.
Her protector?
Sandra clenched her teeth, holding the gun to Vulpes's head and feeling several sharp pains as memories continued to unwittingly return to her. More than the red ghoulish face, more than the milky blue eyes, and more than the grumpy expression of the tall, protective ghoul—right this moment, she remembered his voice the clearest. The raspy, agitated voice that she always somehow admired…
Sandra gulped painfully, her expression twisted with a strange sort of anguish that appeared as if from nowhere.
Her eyes burned into Vulpes's for several seconds that seemed to be stretching for hours. Vulpes, his smooth, pale face—searing blue eyes, chiseled cheekbones, and short black hair, a man of the Legion, not a slave under contract. What was it about Vulpes Inculta that reminded her so deeply of the red-faced ghoul she once knew?
And even beyond that—why did she feel so very certain that she cared about Vulpes too much to pull the trigger? Vulpes Inculta was one of the most ruthless members of the Legion—why on earth did she care for him?
A city appeared in her mind—the dog-headed frumentarius shaking her urgently just before a wicked explosion.
Sandra blinked and shook her head once, her eyes still locked onto Vulpes. She hadn't the faintest idea of when she crossed paths with Vulpes before—but father in the past, she knew for certain that she was close to someone very much like him, someone who was treated like property, raised in a strict and brainwashing environment, and trained to be a killer without any choice in the matter. She couldn't know if showing Vulpes mercy was the right thing to do, but she did know this; she'd be a hypocrite not to.
After all—for reasons she couldn't currently remember—she knew for certain than she was just as ruthless as Vulpes. And if she deserved a second chance, then she had to show him the same courtesy. Despite her flukes and mistakes, she tried never to toss her moral compass aside, and she wouldn't start now.
At last, Sandra finally lowered the gun, releasing a massive cloud of breath and feeling as if a ten-ton weight had been lifted off her. The moment she chose not to fire, Vulpes's eyes drifted closed, the world fading black around him.
Hours after the fateful altercation, night had fallen over the Mojave wasteland—and Sandra sat inside a dark, hidden nook within Quarry Junction, a cave containing soft dirt and several deathclaw eggs, many of them broken. She sat with her back against the sloped rocky wall, her head slumped to the side, snoozing lightly, and Vulpes did the same.
Vulpes lay up against her, his back pressed to her front, his head resting at her collar. His armor and headdress were gone, his torso wrapped tightly with gauze and still smelling faintly of disinfectant, a used stimpack and an empty syringe of med-x lying just across the way from them. Sandra's arm was draped around him, and for a long while, the two of them merely slept their exhaustion away.
A soft string of music echoed from the pip-boy as they slept, a dim green light shining from it, illuminating their darkened nook of shelter with an ominous emerald glow. As Vulpes tiredly blinked himself awake, the music met his ears.
"Down and out, we're outta luck… we're spinnin', but the needle's stuck… let's go have some fun before they put us in the ground."
Vulpes didn't move, his stare hazy, body feeling as if it weighed a ton. His mind was a fog, a strange sensation having taken over him, simplifying his thoughts and numbing his body to the stinging pain in his torso. He'd never experienced the effects of chems before…
His head barely rolled to the side, inhaling Sandra's scent and resting against her soft body comfortably, his hand gently gliding over hers, thumb stroking along her wrist. Despite his dreary state of mind, he found himself thinking of their recent altercation… tackling her to the ground, raising his displacer glove…
Would he have gone through with it?
The thought of avenging Caesar drove him for weeks, trekking dangerously close to NCR territory and following every loose lead that might take him to Courier Six.
But now, after catching up with her, seeing her face and hearing her voice again… it felt as if he'd forgotten who he was pursuing, that Courier Six was her, the crimson-haired vagabond he once knew better than anyone else in the world. All his life, he bowed to Caesar, enacted retribution, killed and crucified all those who he believed deserved it—but this girl here, Courier Six, the crimson-haired vagabond, was the only person to ever plant such irritating doubt in his mind.
After all—if she was part of the profligate world, then how wicked could that world truly be?
And if his Lord and master, Caesar, was the God of the Legion—then how wicked could the Legion truly be?
The conflict was maddening, and Vulpes grimaced deeply, releasing a heavy sigh and closing his eyes again as he rested cozily on Sandra's collar.
Then, another thought occurred to him—the memory of Caesar's final moments, when Caesar threatened to crucify Vulpes over a simple speculation. The man he revered and worshipped as a God, the man he dedicated his life to—he thought so little of Vulpes's life, and he never spared it a second thought before now.
Meanwhile, Courier Six—even after being pursued by Vulpes—chose to spare him and save his life for no reason whatsoever. She seemed the opposite of Caesar, each of them equally relentless and passionate, but with loyalties and goals that directly opposed one another.
The Legion showed no weakness against their enemies, and up until now, he believed every ruthless action and every manipulative tactic was justified—but now, pondering on Caesar's cold attitude toward his most loyal frumentarius, he couldn't help but wonder.
Was the Legion more wicked than they were powerful? Was their cause a façade, their purpose all for naught? After all, Caesar died like any ordinary man—he seemed to be just as mortal as everyone who followed him, not a God at all—not even a loyal leader.
Still, how could Vulpes indulge in such a thought? How could he consider that the world beyond the Legion was worth anything—especially after all the crooked people he encountered in Nipton? The courier and her friends weren't the same as the whores of Nipton—but that confused him even more. How could the profligate world function with all the good people mixed in with the bad? Who in their world could ever see the line between right and wrong? The mere thought of it was mind-boggling.
Yet, somehow, Sandra seemed to function in the world beyond the Legion. Regardless of her broken mind and numerous conflicts—she seemed to have some solid goal, some moral compass that kept her grounded without the need of any greater belief to guide her.
Vulpes blinked tiredly again, glimpsing upward and eyeing her.
How could it be? How could anyone find purpose in the world without any big, grand ideals to place their faith in? From the moment he met her—even back then, when her mind was shattered completely and her motives were a great big question mark, she still acted on whatever was necessary in the moment—eliminating every threat and taking every step needed to ensure both of their survival.
How tiring it must've been, always carrying on, clawing and fighting with no reassurance, no God, no great beacon of hope to carry you through the worst hardships of the wasteland. There must've been something she believed in, but it was no God, no Son of Mars, no blind faith at all—no, she seemed to believe in ideas of her own, grand possibilities that she wanted to flourish. But what those were, he couldn't know.
Still, there was something to the world outside of the Legion—and for the first time, he finally considered this possibility in full. Perhaps he always knew, on some level. He wouldn't have spared her of her fate four years ago otherwise.
Vulpes stewed in his thoughts silently, pondering on everyone he knew within the Legion and feeling incredibly hesitant to act on the impulses rising up inside him now. Lupis, the children in training, what remained of his scouting party—his superiors were cold, but his equals were like family. How could he ever consider leaving his entire life behind? What would become of them if he did? Perhaps it simply wasn't an option for him. It never had been, after all…
Sandra cleared her throat, moving and releasing a yawn. She rested her chin on the top of his head, blinking herself half-awake and coiling her fingers gingerly around his arm.
Vulpes stared down at her hand, sighing heavily.
Sandra gently stroked him, feeling the most bizarre sense of complacency of her life. He could've been a perfect stranger to her, and a particularly dangerous one at that—yet still, for whatever reason, it felt perfectly right to sit in this crooked embrace, holding him and resting solemnly as she did. And as of now, she was much too tired to question it anymore.
"I don't know why," Sandra said softly. "But I know… there's more to you than the person the Legion made you."
Vulpes said nothing, gazing into the darkness thoughtfully.
"I really don't know why," Sandra reiterated. "I don't know, and I don't remember… but I swear to God, I feel it. There's something about you that's more than just a cold Legion spy."
"Something basic," Vulpes uttered in a faint rasp. "And intimate… and… survivalistic."
Sandra gulped and nodded.
"That's because you and I kept each other alive for a long while… back then," Vulpes sighed. "Under hellish circumstances, lost a long way from the Mojave… you and I… simply stuck together to survive. And that's the only reason we did."
Sandra gazed down at him profoundly, pondering on his statement. It explained a lot; if she crossed paths with him on her way to Nevada—and if they truly did keep one another alive under some harsh circumstances—then it explained why she felt any sort of empathy for him, and such a powerful instinct to look after him now.
"What happened?" Sandra asked solemnly. "What happened to me and you…?"
Vulpes was silent for nearly a full minute, dwelling on the past and not daring to revisit it aloud.
"I have a more immediate question for you," he uttered grimly. "Why kill the Son of Mars inside his own domicile?"
Sandra sighed, resting her head back and gazing up at the top of the cave.
"I doubt if you're gonna understand," she mumbled. "Seeing as how you're brainwashed…"
"Try me," Vulpes said.
Sandra paused, bit her lip, and assessed her thoughts before speaking on.
"From the outside… the Legion isn't a saving grace or a holy hand of justice," Sandra explained. "Everyone else pretty much sees the Legion as a death sentence. You said the people in Nipton deserved it because they were all a bunch of crooks and backstabbers… but here's the problem. Even people who don't deserve it end up suffering under the Legion. Men are beaten into being cannon fodder and women are chained up as slaves. But outside the Legion… those of us who aren't just criminals… we manage to get by and do the right thing without all the torture and slavery. We still get tough, and we're still not weak—but we're not brainwashing, or torturing, or enslaving everyone in the process. That's why the Legion needs to be… removed from power. We value our way of life, too—and we're gonna fight for it just like you would."
There was a long pause after her explanation.
Vulpes mulled over her words for a moment.
"Then tell me this," he said seconds later. "What idea do you believe in? What is the one pure, solid thing you fight for if not for your God?"
Sandra cocked her head, a sharp pain shooting through her skull. At first, she thought of the water purifier—but then, her plans of securing an independent Vegas came to mind.
"At first… it was Project Purity," she murmured distantly. "A big water purifier that was gonna clean all the water and save everyone…"
Vulpes made an odd face, glimpsing up at her. "Water in Nevada isn't irradiated…"
"But now," Sandra continued. "Now, it's… making an independent Vegas, and hopefully changing a lot of the screwed-up things going on in the Mojave."
"You believe in no God," Vulpes mumbled. "You believe in only goals."
"Oh, hell… I don't know. There might be a God," Sandra shrugged. "In fact, I've… heard of him before…"
Vulpes stared up at her strangely again.
Sandra gazed into the darkness, her stare as distant as it was unreadable.
"Revelation 21:6," Sandra breathed mindlessly. "I am alpha, and omega… the beginning, and the end… something about thirst…"
"You must have a whole other life somewhere," Vulpes muttered. "I don't understand half the things you say…"
They both fell silent for a few seconds.
Vulpes glimpsed over, eyeing the combat shotgun lying beside them.
"So," he uttered. "I suppose you've forgotten your imaginary friend, too."
Sandra blinked, making an odd face and staring down at him. "What…?"
"That person… you believed was following you," Vulpes mumbled. "You acted as if you were traveling with someone… even though you weren't."
Sandra was quiet for a moment. "I really have no idea. I don't remember… anything…"
Vulpes said nothing, glaring over at the combat shotgun and reading the inscription on the side. Wincing and repressing a groan, he moved and reached over, grasping the gun and lifting it upright, leveling it with Sandra's eyes.
"Look at this, and tell me," he insisted. "Where did this come from? All these years and all this time, all the travels and all the fights—and you still carry this gun around."
Sandra gazed into the firearm, her heart giving a pained jolt. As her eyes skimmed over the inscribed name, they began to water, hot tears stinging her and clouding her vision. Instantly, she shook her head and wiped the tears away.
"Fuck, I don't…" she muttered. "I don't know why I'm…"
"You still look after this gun—and you even look after me," Vulpes stated. "You do remember. You remember everything. You simply don't know you do."
"I don't want to," Sandra whimpered without thinking.
"Exactly—that's why you don't remember what you know," Vulpes said flatly. "But you do know it. Otherwise you wouldn't act the way you do—you wouldn't be here with me now. You'd be standing over my body after a fair kill—not hunched in a cave acting like I'm something worth saving."
"Don't say that," Sandra said sadly. "You sound like Charon…"
At once, a sharper pain penetrated her skull—and Vulpes's eyes flickered up to her, staring into her intently.
Suddenly, numerous things clicked together in her mind all at once—the images of the Capital, the red-faced ghoul, and the horrific sense of funereal bereavement that weighed on her before leaving the Capital wasteland forever. She couldn't know why, couldn't remember any details—but somehow, she knew most assuredly that Charon was someone she loved, someone she empathized with, and someone she lost in battle the last time she tried to make a difference in the world around her.
Tears rolled down her cheeks as the awful feeling made its return, and she found herself thinking of the here and now—of Niner, Arcade, Melody and ED-E—and the close call they all encountered just a few short hours ago. A striking fear rose up inside her, and at once, she knew for sure that she'd face this unbearable feeling again in the future if things continued to run their course this way—if she tried too hard to make a difference, endangered her friends in the process, and unwittingly orchestrated their demise. Perhaps she herself would be the one to die this time, or perhaps she'd be standing at another funeral, crying for another dead loved one…
Maybe her new goal and purpose wasn't worth pursing—not if it was bound to end up the same way it had last time.
And, more than anything, she felt certain that it was destined to turn out that way—because the last time she leaped into a war, she nearly died and faced heavy losses that she wasn't prepared for. This time, it would be a new war—the battle for Hoover Dam—but the concept remained the same, and it would likely yield the same terrible result.
War never changes, after all.
"I'm doing the same thing," Sandra realized dreadfully. "I'm doing the same damn thing I did last time… that got everybody killed…"
Vulpes lowered the gun, still staring up at her and reading over her distraught expression.
"We need to get out," Sandra uttered, glancing down and meeting his eyes. "We all just need to get out of this while we can…"
"Sandra," Vulpes said seriously. "I've learned one valuable thing from the Legion. If the cause is worth everything—then it is, quite literally, worth everything. Including risk."
"Oh… what the hell're you even saying?" Sandra griped. "You sound like you're trying to talk me into working directly against the Legion."
"I just didn't think you were the type to walk away," Vulpes replied calmly. "My goals have always rested with ideals of justice and retribution… but your goals… yours have no glossy film, no blinding faith draped over them. Yours are actually attainable."
Sandra stared at him, wiping her eye. "Now you sound like you're doubting…"
"I'm just… seeing," Vulpes conceded. "What I see now is… My Lord is dead… died like a mortal rather than living like a God. What I see now is a broken Legion… and a default emperor who would sooner crucify me than let you walk free. What I see now is a whole tribe of Legionaries doubting their very existence because their Lord and master has perished. And that… the recognition of a false faith… that is a hindrance you have no weakness to."
Sandra let out a deep sigh, adjusting and wrapping an arm around him again, thinking intently on his every word.
"I think I need to take a walk away from all this," she murmured. "Clear my head and think about it. I just… jumped into all this… so fast…"
Vulpes didn't reply, his hand resting firmly around her wrist as he glared into the darkness.
"But… y'know what I want," Sandra said softly. "I wish we could just… all of us could just… meet up in Vegas, and live large, and be okay. I wish, for once… everything could just be okay for a while…"
Vulpes sighed. "Wildly optimistic…"
"Hey," Sandra uttered, gently tapping his stomach. "Whatever you choose to do… if you walk away from the Legion, just come find me in Vegas, and we'll figure it out from there."
Vulpes glimpsed up at her. "Again, wildly optimistic."
Sandra let out a laugh. "I think it would work out fine, Foxxy."
Vulpes blinked, eyeing her closely. "What did you call me?"
Sandra paused, and before she could reply, a nearby sound caught her attention.
She and Vulpes glimpsed over, seeing that one of the deathclaw eggs was now jiggling and twitching on the ground, making several scraping and crackling sounds.
"For Mars's sake," Vulpes groaned. "Can't catch a single break today…"
A shard broke off the egg's shell, and a small, squishy hand oozed out of it. Seconds later, the egg crumbled apart, and a tiny, slimy lizard creature crawled into view, blinking its shiny white eyes and peering up at the two of them.
Vulpes gaped at the creature wordlessly.
Sandra did the same—and then, she revealed a beaming, childlike smile.
"Oh my God," she breathed. "It's so cuuute!"
Vulpes stared incredibly at her, utterly baffled.
Sandra extended her free arm, motioning for the newborn deathclaw to come closer. "Come'ere. "Come'ere, little squishy, come'ere…!"
"Don't do that," Vulpes scolded, lowering her hand. "The last thing we need is more attention from these monsters."
"But he's a baby!" Sandra exclaimed. "Aww! Look—the eggshell scratched his little tummy. Poor baby! Come'ere!"
"Stop it," Vulpes hissed.
Sandra reached out and patted the baby deathclaw on the head. The creature made an odd squeaking noise, seeming to enjoy the attention.
Vulpes let out a groaning sigh, running a hand down his face.
Sandra gleefully petted the deathclaw for a few minutes before her attention shifted back to Vulpes. She took on a somber expression.
"You've done some really fucked-up things," she remarked.
Vulpes narrowed his eyes up at her oddly.
Sandra sighed. "So, tell me something… why do I feel so sure that you're a good person?"
"No idea," Vulpes replied dismissively. "Probably because I kept you alive for so long."
"Why'd you do that?"
"Because I did."
"No, seriously, why?"
"I'm not telling the whole story right now…"
"Why not?"
"I'm tired…"
Sandra nodded silently. As she fell quiet, Vulpes began to relax in her grasp, his eyes drifting shut once more.
Strangely—for the first time in four years—his sleep was entirely peaceful and undisturbed.
When he eventually blinked himself awake, he found that he was now lying alone in the cave, no Sandra, no baby deathclaw. Sunlight bled into the rounded enclosure, and just beside Vulpes's head, a blue container sat, filled with water and sweating from condensation.
Pushing himself upright, he collected the vault 13 canteen, gazing vacantly into it for a moment before painfully reaching his feet. He wandered out of Quarry Junction by his lonesome—and for the first time ever, he hadn't the faintest clue of where he was headed now.