Note: I don't own Austin Powers… cause of course I'd be rich so… And I don't own NE thing that's in this story… except for a couple characters. So… Don't sue J
Dr. Evil's Story
By Emily and Gina
Dr. Evil was in his Evil Lair. He was sitting in his rotating chair when the phone
rang. Dr. Evil got confused then he answered it, "…Hello?" He waited for
someone to respond. "Hello-o, …Ya know… when you call someone your
supposed to talk… Yea." he said then he just waited for a few more seconds.
Then a women in the phone said,
"…Hello sir…ma'am…, would you like to buy credit cards?" Then Dr. Evil
replied. "Hmmm… no… not really… But… how much are they?" "Well
sir/ma'am if you want to have one then you have to fill out a form then we'll
decide what the cost is. But for now we need to know your name, phone number,
and address," The girl said.
"Well I can't tell you that… And you actually should know my phone number
and I have no clue of how you do…" Dr. Evil replied. "What's your name sir…
ma'am," "Oh my… stop calling me ma'am…" Dr. Evil said. "Then please tell me
your name MA'AM," She said. "How 'bout… No?" Dr. Evil answered. "You
have to if you want to buy the credit cards Sir/Ma'am,"
"Does it sound like I want to buy freaky deaky credit cards?" Dr. Evil said.
"Yes," replied the girl. "So what's your name sir/ma'am?" "What's YOUR
name?" Dr. Evil asked. "There is no reason of giving you my name," she replied.
"Then why do you want mine?" Dr. Evil asked. "It's my job… sadly," "O
really… well sadly my job won't allow me to give out any of my information
either,"
Just then Number 2 walked up. "I'm filling out this form you asked me to do
and for 'Name' do you want me to put 'Dr. Evil' or…" Number two stopped when
he saw Dr. Evil's face and him about to say something. Dr. Evil rolled his eyes,
"See what ya did Number 2..." "So your name's Dr. Evil, Sir/ma'am," The girl
asked. "…No… no…" He said. "Well Mr./Miss Evil-" She started. "Doktor
Evil…"
"So your name is Dr. Evil?"
Dr. Evil was silent "…So?"
"Well then give me your address and I'll send you the form for the cards,"
"I'm am NOT giving you my freaky deaky address!"
"You have to."
"No I don't… Why don't you give me YOUR address?"
"Are you flirting with me sir?"
"…Yes… I am flirting with you," Dr. Evil said kind of sarcastically.
"Well sir/ma'am I have to know your address for credit reasons."
"Why my address? We can just 'Hang Out' one day and give me the form then."
"Sir/Ma'am that wont be necessary. If you give me your address I'll send it to you
and you wont have to deal with going anywhere."
"So you don't want to 'Hang Out'?"
"No sir, I don't."
"Oh… Ok… well you know my name… what's yours?"
"You have no need to know my name."
"You had no reason to know mine."
"Actually sir/ma'am I-" The girl started.
"Shush! …No you didn't… now what about 'Hanging Out'? Or at least tell me your name!"
"I don't think so Sir."
"Ok then… Bye-bye,"
"Well if you must know it's Bartholomew."
"…Riiiiiight."
"I'll do some research sir and I'll send the form to you through the mail. Bye
sir/ma'am."
"Wait! Don't leave!" Dr. Evil replied.
Then he heard a click which meant she hung up. "NOOO!!! DARLING!!!
COME BACK MY DARLING!" Dr. Evil yelled through the whole room. Then
Frau walked passed and heard him yelling. She stopped in front of the door.
"Doktor?!" Dr. Evil dropped the phone. "Frau?!"
Frau started walking away from the room. "Frau wait!" Dr. Evil said then got
up and walked after her. "Frau that was nothing!" He said. "O really? Then
what were you saying? And to who?" She asked. "It was no one Frau!" He said.
"I don't think so Doktor… I was listening to the whole thing," Frau said. "… …It
wasn't true!" "Oh yeah Herr Doktor, what ever you say," Frau said jokingly.
Then she started to walk away.
Dr. Evil started to follow her. "O well… what do I care?" He said and just
stood there for a few seconds. "FRAU!!!" He yelled then he started going after
her again. As soon as she was in sight she locked herself in the bathroom.
"Frau…"
"What?"
"I didn't do anything!"
"I heard you, Doktor!"
"Couldn't you tell I was kidding?" Dr. Evil asked.
"No, cause you weren't"
"…You can't prove that."
"I heard the whole thing."
"That has nothing to do with anything, Frau…"
"It kind of does."
"Frau!!! It was nothing! I WAS KIDDING!"
There was a long silence.
"Frau! I didn't mean anything!" Dr. Evil said.
"I know you did Doktor!"
"Seriously Frau…"
"I don't care Dr. Evil, go hang out with her."
"I don't really want to…"
"I don't care what you do Doktor…"
"…I think ya do if your locked in the bathroom," Dr. Evil said.
There was another silence then Frau said madly, "I'm going to flush your shorts
down the toilet!" "…My shorts?" Dr. Evil said confusingly. Then in the
background there's a flush, "I FLUSHED YOUR SHORTS DOWN THE
TOILET!" Frau said. Dr. Evil was confused, he leaned against the door to talk
Frau into coming out.
Then a few seconds later the bathroom door opened and Dr. Evil fell. He was
laying on the floor and then he looked over at Frau. "See… I flushed your shorts
down the toilet," She said and held of a pair of shorts. "Well… I don't even know
if there yours but, that's beside the point," she said.
Dr. Evil sat up then Frau walked out. Dr. Evil just sat there for a while then he
stood up. He walked out, he turned the corner and Frau was just standing there.
She said, "Doktor, I think we need to solve our differences," Then she
pulled out a big knife behind her. Dr. Evil stepped back. "Ok… so not that way,"
she said and then set it down. Dr. Evil sighed, relieved.
He went into another room. Then he saw her coming towards him with a chair.
"Well at least it's the only non-metal one here…" he said. Then when she got to
him he tried to get it away from him. "Ok… calm down Frau…," he said then set
the chair down.
Frau just stood there. "Frau, I think you're taking this to literally…." Dr. Evil
said. They stood there in a long silence. "Ok then… what were you doing?" she
asked.
"Talking…"
"About…"
"About credit cards! Buying them!"
"I don't think you were planning to buy them,"
"You don't know that,"
"You kept saying you didn't…"
"Well I didn't…"
"And why'd you keep asking her to 'Hang Out'?"
"'Hanging Out' means nothing!" Dr. Evil protested.
"Seemed like it did to you!"
"Well… Uhh… I need to kill all… the good in the world… so if we did actually
meet I would kill her!"
"Really… you seem unsure about that,"
"But I doubt we'd ever 'Hang Out', not that I really wanted to or anything…"
"Oh ya Doktor…"
"…ya…"
Again there was silence.
"Look I'm not like frickin Austin Powers who goes around with every girl he
meets!" Dr. Evil said.
"Well your related,"
"So? I didn't want to do anything!"
"Just 'Hang Out'?"
"Yes Frau, just 'Hang Out'"
"And what were you planning to do?"
"…kill her? Keep her waiting there? …What do you want me to say Frau?"
"The truth."
"That's the truth!"
"…Your twitching Doktor… when you twitch your lying."
Silence… Dr. Evil thinking of what to say and Frau waiting. About a minute later
Frau gave up. "Ok then Doktor… If you can't tell me then…" "Frau! I…I…"
Dr. Evil tried to say. Frau was just going to leave but then the music
"Complicated" by Avril Lavigne start playing, and yes Dr. Evil was going to rap…
Complicated Remix performed by: Dr. Evil
Written by: Gina and Emily (~~ My friend and me)
Chorus: Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
And you fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty
and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it.
Frau: NO! NO! NO!
Dr. Evil: When Frau came in when I was on the phone
I never thought that this would make me all alone,
I thought that I had found my one true love,
I thought that this was my gift from above.
But she misunderstood when I asked her to hang out,
She got mad at me, and I don't know what about.
Even though I follow her every where she goes,
She thinks that I shouldn't be her beau.
She called me a self-centered fake.
But this is all just one big mistake.
It happened so fast, I don't know how
But she's gone, so it doesn't matter now.
This is something that really do regret
But I don't understand why she got so upset.
Chorus Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
And you fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty
and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it.
Frau: NO! NO! NO!
(Now Frau Raps… my friends idea…)
What About Us? Remix performed by Frau Farbissina
Written by Gina and Emily
Chorus: What about all of the things that you say?
What about all of the promises that you made?
What about all of the ice that you gave?
What about all of the things you told me?
What about all of the things that you say?
What about all of the promises that you made me?
What about all of the ice that you gave?
What about all of the things you told me?
What about, what about, what about us?
Frau: I can't believe what you did to me,
and it does, really make me see,
That you can't be the one to trust,
But then again, it was all just lust ,
I hate for it to end this way,
But, of course, I can not stay,
Sorry Doktor that's the way it has to be,
Because you will never see,
You just don't understand what I thought we had,
But every time we talk, I end up getting mad,
I'm leaving now, I hope you can see,
What we could've been, and what we'll never be,
What about all of the things that you say?
What about all of the promises that you made?
What about all of the ice that you gave?
What about all of the things you told me?
What about all of the things that you say?
What about all of the promises that you made me?
What about all of the ice that you gave?
What about all of the things you told me?
What about, what about, what about us?
Scene switches to Frau and she's moving into an apartment. There's no extra
rooms so she has to share a room with someone until they get another one.
She walks into her temporary room and a man's in there sitting on his bed,
watching TV. He has black hair and a mustache. He's wearing a red shirt with a
black jacket over it and black pants. He looks over at her.
"Who are you?" he asked quickly. "I have to stay here until there's an extra
room," she answered. "No you don't, go away." "I have to stay here… Burt…"
"…How you know my name?! You some kind of stalker or something?" he asked.
"They told me it at the desk." "Sure they did." "Listen, I'm gonna stay here for a
day or two," Frau said sitting next to him. "No your not. G-get away from me!"
Burt said sacredly.
Just then Dr. Evil kicked the door open, and he fell over. He stood up and said,
"Frau!" Then he noticed Burt, "And who's that?" "It's-" Frau started. "I
CAUGHT YOU CHEATING!" Dr. Evil yelled. "What?!" Frau asked shocked.
"Your sitting on the same bed," Dr. Evil answered. Frau quickly stood up then
said, "Doktor, that doesn't mean anything!" "Yes it does!" Dr. Evil said.
"Doktor, I just got here!" "You could be lying," "Ya… but I'm not!" Frau
protested. "Yeah… Uh-Huh,"
Dr. Evil's Story
By Emily and Gina
Dr. Evil was in his Evil Lair. He was sitting in his rotating chair when the phone
rang. Dr. Evil got confused then he answered it, "…Hello?" He waited for
someone to respond. "Hello-o, …Ya know… when you call someone your
supposed to talk… Yea." he said then he just waited for a few more seconds.
Then a women in the phone said,
"…Hello sir…ma'am…, would you like to buy credit cards?" Then Dr. Evil
replied. "Hmmm… no… not really… But… how much are they?" "Well
sir/ma'am if you want to have one then you have to fill out a form then we'll
decide what the cost is. But for now we need to know your name, phone number,
and address," The girl said.
"Well I can't tell you that… And you actually should know my phone number
and I have no clue of how you do…" Dr. Evil replied. "What's your name sir…
ma'am," "Oh my… stop calling me ma'am…" Dr. Evil said. "Then please tell me
your name MA'AM," She said. "How 'bout… No?" Dr. Evil answered. "You
have to if you want to buy the credit cards Sir/Ma'am,"
"Does it sound like I want to buy freaky deaky credit cards?" Dr. Evil said.
"Yes," replied the girl. "So what's your name sir/ma'am?" "What's YOUR
name?" Dr. Evil asked. "There is no reason of giving you my name," she replied.
"Then why do you want mine?" Dr. Evil asked. "It's my job… sadly," "O
really… well sadly my job won't allow me to give out any of my information
either,"
Just then Number 2 walked up. "I'm filling out this form you asked me to do
and for 'Name' do you want me to put 'Dr. Evil' or…" Number two stopped when
he saw Dr. Evil's face and him about to say something. Dr. Evil rolled his eyes,
"See what ya did Number 2..." "So your name's Dr. Evil, Sir/ma'am," The girl
asked. "…No… no…" He said. "Well Mr./Miss Evil-" She started. "Doktor
Evil…"
"So your name is Dr. Evil?"
Dr. Evil was silent "…So?"
"Well then give me your address and I'll send you the form for the cards,"
"I'm am NOT giving you my freaky deaky address!"
"You have to."
"No I don't… Why don't you give me YOUR address?"
"Are you flirting with me sir?"
"…Yes… I am flirting with you," Dr. Evil said kind of sarcastically.
"Well sir/ma'am I have to know your address for credit reasons."
"Why my address? We can just 'Hang Out' one day and give me the form then."
"Sir/Ma'am that wont be necessary. If you give me your address I'll send it to you
and you wont have to deal with going anywhere."
"So you don't want to 'Hang Out'?"
"No sir, I don't."
"Oh… Ok… well you know my name… what's yours?"
"You have no need to know my name."
"You had no reason to know mine."
"Actually sir/ma'am I-" The girl started.
"Shush! …No you didn't… now what about 'Hanging Out'? Or at least tell me your name!"
"I don't think so Sir."
"Ok then… Bye-bye,"
"Well if you must know it's Bartholomew."
"…Riiiiiight."
"I'll do some research sir and I'll send the form to you through the mail. Bye
sir/ma'am."
"Wait! Don't leave!" Dr. Evil replied.
Then he heard a click which meant she hung up. "NOOO!!! DARLING!!!
COME BACK MY DARLING!" Dr. Evil yelled through the whole room. Then
Frau walked passed and heard him yelling. She stopped in front of the door.
"Doktor?!" Dr. Evil dropped the phone. "Frau?!"
Frau started walking away from the room. "Frau wait!" Dr. Evil said then got
up and walked after her. "Frau that was nothing!" He said. "O really? Then
what were you saying? And to who?" She asked. "It was no one Frau!" He said.
"I don't think so Doktor… I was listening to the whole thing," Frau said. "… …It
wasn't true!" "Oh yeah Herr Doktor, what ever you say," Frau said jokingly.
Then she started to walk away.
Dr. Evil started to follow her. "O well… what do I care?" He said and just
stood there for a few seconds. "FRAU!!!" He yelled then he started going after
her again. As soon as she was in sight she locked herself in the bathroom.
"Frau…"
"What?"
"I didn't do anything!"
"I heard you, Doktor!"
"Couldn't you tell I was kidding?" Dr. Evil asked.
"No, cause you weren't"
"…You can't prove that."
"I heard the whole thing."
"That has nothing to do with anything, Frau…"
"It kind of does."
"Frau!!! It was nothing! I WAS KIDDING!"
There was a long silence.
"Frau! I didn't mean anything!" Dr. Evil said.
"I know you did Doktor!"
"Seriously Frau…"
"I don't care Dr. Evil, go hang out with her."
"I don't really want to…"
"I don't care what you do Doktor…"
"…I think ya do if your locked in the bathroom," Dr. Evil said.
There was another silence then Frau said madly, "I'm going to flush your shorts
down the toilet!" "…My shorts?" Dr. Evil said confusingly. Then in the
background there's a flush, "I FLUSHED YOUR SHORTS DOWN THE
TOILET!" Frau said. Dr. Evil was confused, he leaned against the door to talk
Frau into coming out.
Then a few seconds later the bathroom door opened and Dr. Evil fell. He was
laying on the floor and then he looked over at Frau. "See… I flushed your shorts
down the toilet," She said and held of a pair of shorts. "Well… I don't even know
if there yours but, that's beside the point," she said.
Dr. Evil sat up then Frau walked out. Dr. Evil just sat there for a while then he
stood up. He walked out, he turned the corner and Frau was just standing there.
She said, "Doktor, I think we need to solve our differences," Then she
pulled out a big knife behind her. Dr. Evil stepped back. "Ok… so not that way,"
she said and then set it down. Dr. Evil sighed, relieved.
He went into another room. Then he saw her coming towards him with a chair.
"Well at least it's the only non-metal one here…" he said. Then when she got to
him he tried to get it away from him. "Ok… calm down Frau…," he said then set
the chair down.
Frau just stood there. "Frau, I think you're taking this to literally…." Dr. Evil
said. They stood there in a long silence. "Ok then… what were you doing?" she
asked.
"Talking…"
"About…"
"About credit cards! Buying them!"
"I don't think you were planning to buy them,"
"You don't know that,"
"You kept saying you didn't…"
"Well I didn't…"
"And why'd you keep asking her to 'Hang Out'?"
"'Hanging Out' means nothing!" Dr. Evil protested.
"Seemed like it did to you!"
"Well… Uhh… I need to kill all… the good in the world… so if we did actually
meet I would kill her!"
"Really… you seem unsure about that,"
"But I doubt we'd ever 'Hang Out', not that I really wanted to or anything…"
"Oh ya Doktor…"
"…ya…"
Again there was silence.
"Look I'm not like frickin Austin Powers who goes around with every girl he
meets!" Dr. Evil said.
"Well your related,"
"So? I didn't want to do anything!"
"Just 'Hang Out'?"
"Yes Frau, just 'Hang Out'"
"And what were you planning to do?"
"…kill her? Keep her waiting there? …What do you want me to say Frau?"
"The truth."
"That's the truth!"
"…Your twitching Doktor… when you twitch your lying."
Silence… Dr. Evil thinking of what to say and Frau waiting. About a minute later
Frau gave up. "Ok then Doktor… If you can't tell me then…" "Frau! I…I…"
Dr. Evil tried to say. Frau was just going to leave but then the music
"Complicated" by Avril Lavigne start playing, and yes Dr. Evil was going to rap…
Complicated Remix performed by: Dr. Evil
Written by: Gina and Emily (~~ My friend and me)
Chorus: Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
And you fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty
and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it.
Frau: NO! NO! NO!
Dr. Evil: When Frau came in when I was on the phone
I never thought that this would make me all alone,
I thought that I had found my one true love,
I thought that this was my gift from above.
But she misunderstood when I asked her to hang out,
She got mad at me, and I don't know what about.
Even though I follow her every where she goes,
She thinks that I shouldn't be her beau.
She called me a self-centered fake.
But this is all just one big mistake.
It happened so fast, I don't know how
But she's gone, so it doesn't matter now.
This is something that really do regret
But I don't understand why she got so upset.
Chorus Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
And you fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty
and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it.
Frau: NO! NO! NO!
(Now Frau Raps… my friends idea…)
What About Us? Remix performed by Frau Farbissina
Written by Gina and Emily
Chorus: What about all of the things that you say?
What about all of the promises that you made?
What about all of the ice that you gave?
What about all of the things you told me?
What about all of the things that you say?
What about all of the promises that you made me?
What about all of the ice that you gave?
What about all of the things you told me?
What about, what about, what about us?
Frau: I can't believe what you did to me,
and it does, really make me see,
That you can't be the one to trust,
But then again, it was all just lust ,
I hate for it to end this way,
But, of course, I can not stay,
Sorry Doktor that's the way it has to be,
Because you will never see,
You just don't understand what I thought we had,
But every time we talk, I end up getting mad,
I'm leaving now, I hope you can see,
What we could've been, and what we'll never be,
What about all of the things that you say?
What about all of the promises that you made?
What about all of the ice that you gave?
What about all of the things you told me?
What about all of the things that you say?
What about all of the promises that you made me?
What about all of the ice that you gave?
What about all of the things you told me?
What about, what about, what about us?
Scene switches to Frau and she's moving into an apartment. There's no extra
rooms so she has to share a room with someone until they get another one.
She walks into her temporary room and a man's in there sitting on his bed,
watching TV. He has black hair and a mustache. He's wearing a red shirt with a
black jacket over it and black pants. He looks over at her.
"Who are you?" he asked quickly. "I have to stay here until there's an extra
room," she answered. "No you don't, go away." "I have to stay here… Burt…"
"…How you know my name?! You some kind of stalker or something?" he asked.
"They told me it at the desk." "Sure they did." "Listen, I'm gonna stay here for a
day or two," Frau said sitting next to him. "No your not. G-get away from me!"
Burt said sacredly.
Just then Dr. Evil kicked the door open, and he fell over. He stood up and said,
"Frau!" Then he noticed Burt, "And who's that?" "It's-" Frau started. "I
CAUGHT YOU CHEATING!" Dr. Evil yelled. "What?!" Frau asked shocked.
"Your sitting on the same bed," Dr. Evil answered. Frau quickly stood up then
said, "Doktor, that doesn't mean anything!" "Yes it does!" Dr. Evil said.
"Doktor, I just got here!" "You could be lying," "Ya… but I'm not!" Frau
protested. "Yeah… Uh-Huh,"