Anya seemed, as far as Loid could tell, to be a keen and intelligent young girl. She wasn't the problem.
Despite her being at an orphanage, she had someone who treated her like a sister. Maybe there was some faint relation, maybe it was just the shared pink hair…
But Anya clung desperately to the legs of a surly-looking teenage boy. Sharp eyes glared from behind a pair of cheap sunglasses.
Two children would complicate Strix greatly, especially considering that the boy was far too old to befriend Desmond… not to mention that a much older child would make his alibi shakier.
Somehow though, the idea of not adopting him never entered his head. Having the boy attempt to befriend the older Desmond child would give them some much-needed insurance as well. Loid turned to the orphanage director. "And this boy's name?"
"Saiki."
Damnit all, couldn't his life be easy for once?
Living with a spy would be a major complication in his simple life, but Anya was elated. Saiki didn't really do personal relationships like other people did- there were rules and social mores that he had to play catch up with- but he and Anya…
Well, this was what family was supposed to be like, he figured. At least, from what he had scraped from the minds of the scientists who poked and prodded at him. (Turned out they all had awful home lives, though. Not that surprising, really. Who would have guessed that performing scientific testing on young children desensitized people?)
Anyways. Anya was the closest thing Saiki had to family, not to mention one of the only people that could understand him truly. Her powers were a pale mimicry of his, but that was a good thing, really.
Still, Saiki was aware that Anya wanted more. She wanted family, which was alright, but more disturbingly, she wanted excitement.
And she became completely enamored with the idea of getting adopted by this Loid character.
Loid… was a spy. Obviously, Saiki could tell. He was a one-two punch of things Saiki really didn't like. He'd be in the periphery of the man's dangerously eventful life, and he'd leave eventually, upsetting Anya.
Honestly, Saiki didn't really hold the man's foreign origins against him- what were lines on a map to Saiki?- but wanting to use Anya… that was intolerable.
Saiki could have given him the boot. He had the means to stop war all by himself: making missiles duds, rewiring people's brains so war simply wasn't an acceptable means of resolving international disputes, whatever. Still, Anya was terribly excited by it all…
He sighed. This was going to cause a lot of problems, but Anya was trying so hard to impress Loid…
A flex of his powers and… boom. Now it was so socially unacceptable to abandon a child that even a hardened spy like Forger wouldn't ditch Anya after the mission had ended.
It was with a mental groan that Saiki realized he had accidentally attached himself to this international spy for the next two years. Not to mention he'd have to keep the bastard alive during his missions to make sure Anya stayed happy…
Good grief.
As if his life wasn't complex enough already, they didn't bump into just any eligible bachelorette at the tailor's.
They found an honest-to-goodness assassin, who just so happened to be desperately searching for a spouse for completely unrelated reasons…
(Sometimes, he wondered if Anya took after him more than he thought. This sort of coincidence was the sort of total bull that went beyond sheer happenstance. Was it some unconscious use of power?)
Loid and to a lesser extent Anya saw the smiling face, the pretty looks… Saiki saw the musculature under those long legs, the hidden scars, and the mended bones. This woman was dangerous.
She could kick like a mule and had clearly survived some horrific fights, but most critically… what the hell was going on in her head?
Saiki and Anya got to share in the discovery of how positively nutty Yor was.
Anya thought it was exciting… Saiki began to seriously consider if international peace would be worth all this effort.
Normally, he didn't let Anya read his mind. He could allow it if he wanted to, but Saiki usually didn't. She didn't need to fill her head with his worries- she already read enough minds- but occasionally…
That meant she knew him well. Too well, actually.
Saiki would have been perfectly content to be a normal student- well, as normal as Eden Academy students could be, but then Anya shared his appreciation for coffee jelly.
Yor was, in her own sort of way, sweet. She really, honestly tried to make some of his favorite dessert for him… but Saiki could only mentally apologize to the poor farmers who had labored to grow that coffee only to have it turned into Yor's typical batch of toxic waste.
But then Loid mentioned he knew somebody who knew somebody (read: the skirt-chasing fuzzball) who could get their hands on the good stuff, genuine Westalian jelly…
It provoked a deep struggle within Saiki. On the one hand, those Westalian coffee jellies… they were the stuff dreams were made of. He'd heard about them in a crappy Ostanian orphanage, after all.
But to get his hands on them, he'd have to earn Stella Stars. He'd have to become a noticeable person.
These were the struggles that tested men's souls, that tore the heart asunder. He hardened his resolve… and actually tried.
Life was painfully remarkable now. He wasn't just Saiki Forger the completely unremarkable… he was Saiki Forger, the kid racing to join the Imperial Scholars despite getting into school incredibly late.
Suddenly, he had admirers. (Saiki just thanked his lucky stars the Blackbell brat set her sights on Loid and not him. Precocious little…) He had fellow students offering to help him bring his PE scores up to snuff, like Saiki wasn't holding back, had people wanting to form study groups…
Why did his life have to be so interesting? (Coffee jelly was why. That and, at a very distant second, world peace.)
And then he went home to two parents who were somehow an assassin and spy while being about as observant as a head of cabbage. Yor could be forgiven, maybe. But Loid? These two dummies lived in the same apartment, but the international spy couldn't tell that his wife moonlit as a murderer for hire?
As if those two loons weren't bad enough, there was his uncle. Yuri. Secret policeman and… ugh. Saiki could sense that siscon from a mile away. (Did he ever mention that he kind of hated people?)
Bond was nice though. The dog was a class act and seemed to genuinely care about Anya. Saiki could also respect the poor dog for having suffered through experimentation.
Loid's 'son' had turned out to be a very good student if properly motivated. Honestly, he would have made a good agent (could be a good agent, perhaps?). Not very emotive, sure, but intelligent, determined, cool-headed…
There was a surprisingly shrill yelp of panic, and Loud leaped from his seat…
To see his uber-competent adopted child precariously balanced on top of a china cabinet- how? - his panicked expression directed towards… a cockroach.
Loid crushed it beneath his shoe.
Yeah… maybe he wouldn't be the greatest spy.
Saiki was not a person who liked to stir up trouble, especially not when he was in the splash zone, so to speak. Still, he could recognize the situation at the Forger household as something that would never last long-term without him poking his head in.
For Anya's happiness. He was doing it all for Anya's happiness. That's what he told himself as they sat down for dinner. Him, his 'father', and his 'mother' were all sitting down for a meal while Anya stayed at the Blackbell's.
It was Loid's cooking- small mercies- and Saiki did make sure to savor it before traipsing out into the minefield. Saiki took a sip of coffee- Loid's culinary skills extended into the realm of coffee, thank goodness- and spoke up.
"Were you ever going to tell us you were a spy, Loid?" They weren't in public, so Saiki didn't have to call him 'dad', thank goodness.
Loid recovered well. No spit take or comedic choking, but there was a definite twitch there.
"Where did you get that idea, Saiki?"
" Because you are. Does Operation Strix ring a bell?"
Loid's face had turned chalky, completely blindsided. Seeing the normally collected spy so gobsmacked almost made his powers worth it.
Yor was equally thrown off, although she was starting to connect the dots in a way that would be really bad if he didn't stop her-
" And when were you going to tell us about the murders, Yor?"
And there was the spit take.
Better these two dumbasses find out in the safety of their own home instead of during a mission.
As it turned out, as useful as psychic powers were for making people do things, plain old blackmail would work. Both had very good reasons to not abandon Anya... and had very good reasons to occasionally slip him a coffee jelly.