Chapter 2

*cough* I had planned to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter, but I forgot to save the reviews, and I didn't get to do it online. *sweatdrops* I'll just do everyone for this and the last one next time.

Major thankies go to everyone who also took the time to visit my deviantART page, locatable at:

which also features a range of my artworks, and a majority of them being Jak and Daxter related.

This chapter is dedicated to EtherealShadow who is now my secondary (something like that) beta-reader. ^^

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Keira felt herself melting into Jak, the heat where her lips met his, where their bodies touched, it felt like electricity to her, invigorating and addictive. She wanted so much more. She wanted everything that was him. Everything that was Jak, she would make her own. Without even realizing, her arms had entwined around his body, pulling him closer, desperately wanting to feel a response to her own physical sensations.

It all seemed so very perfect in her mind, and wasn't it supposed to be? Didn't she have the right to her most perfect first kiss, a moment every girl knew was supposed to be magical? And it was....

How could it not be? The full moon, romantic and dramatic, shining down on them, clouds scudding across its silvery surface... In her mind's eye, the luminous orb would gently light the area with an ethereal quality, illuminating herself and Jak in their passion-filled kiss. It would look absolutely perfect, every detail arranged just right. Jak would then realize that there was a chill to the air, and would wrap his arms around her and hold her so very close, and she'd be safe and warm and she'd never have to leave again....

Why wasn't Jak holding her?

Keira broke off the perfect scene in her head and returned to the one currently surrounding her, where the night was indeed cold, but Jak did not hold her close. All he did was stand there as she was kissing him and.... he wasn't kissing back.

She stopped, opened her eyes and stared up him, wanting to see the passion she felt reflected in those beautiful orbs, and only finding reluctance. She fell away from him, the oh-so-perfect vision in her mind shattering into a thousand million pieces with a crash that echoed in the depths of her soul. He hadn't accepted her kiss. He didn't want her love. There was no wonderful moment of love realized, there was no passion-filled embrace, there was only Jak, standing there, with regret and sympathy in his expression.

"I'm sorry..." he said.

She wanted to scream, wanted to yell and cry and throw things and make him realize how much he had hurt her.... with just those two small words.

'Who would have thought words could... hurt so much.... so very much.' It was all she could do not to cry, and it was the hardest thing ever for her to turn her back on him.

"Keira...."

"Dont. Please don't, Jak. I can't.... it hurts... Just... leave me alone. I... my father... he's inside..." She turned and headed back towards the Naughty Ottsel, praying for the strength to hold in her tears, wishing she'd never said those stupid things, never tried to kiss him. At least then, she could have gone on living with her dreams, the too-perfect dreams she had built in her mind. The shattered hopes and wishes.

'Why did you hurt me so much?'

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A cold wind whipped around Jak, tousling his slicked-back hair while distant thunder heralded the approach of a storm. It seemed ironic. A storm, turbulent and unpredictable. It matched his emotions perfectly.

Slowly, Jak raised his hand, fingertips exploring his lips, gliding over the skin. What had happened? He knew that Keira had kissed him; his lips and body still tingled faintly with remembered warmth, but...

He hadn't felt anything. Keira had kissed him, and he thought she had felt something for him, whether it was love or not, he couldn't tell, but she had at least felt something! While he had stood there, and felt nothing. Sure, his body had felt the contact, felt the warmth and tactile sensations, but emotionally? Nothing. There had been no sudden bursts of love, no wanting to be with her, to hold her. There was nothing but faint surprise.

"Is there something wrong with me?" Jak wondered aloud.

He was in love with Keira, wasn't he? Even before he'd started to fulfill his 'destiny', before the visit to Misty Island, everyone had taken it as given that he and Keira would marry someday. They'd always been a little attracted to each other....

'Puppy Love,' a small part of his mind whispered.

... and so it had been presumed....

Why? Had he really been that blind that he hadn't seen that maybe all his emotions for Keira were... lies? Had he been creating his own fantasies? Living in a world in which it had been taken for granted who he would eventually spend the rest of his life with?

The rest of his life....

Could he have spent it with her? Now that he had finally kissed Keira, and discovered his 'feelings' for her, could he really see himself settling down with her? Had he ever really believed that it would happen like that?

No.

He could never 'settle down'. Never resign himself to the prison of a boring job, coming home to a perfect wife, playing with his perfect children, and always, constantly itching at the back of his mind, the thought that this was a cage; a place to rot away, a boring routine, day after day after day. It would never change, and he would die a boring little death while no one could be bothered to remember who he was...

"NO!" Jak stopped the thoughts. That wasn't his future, he could never go down that path. How could he? How could anyone resign themselves to such a boring little humdrum life when there was so much they could do?!

He had kissed Keira, and he had felt nothing except for regret, regret for not feeling what she had wanted him to. He could not settle back into his old life, not now, not ever. Strangely, the thought didn't really bother him.

Maybe it was better this way. Keira was a friend, a very good friend, but still a friend and only a friend. How could he let her think he loved her, now that he knew he did not? Could he really do that, when for all he knew he could die at any moment, either at the hands of a Metalhead or through foolish fate. The pain it would cause Keira... He didn't want to cause anything like that.

'But I already have...' Jak thought. The pain on her face as she turned away... those words... it had stunned him, and his own thoughts and emotions had confused him, but now he remembered the pain on her face, and how he had treated her.

It had to be fixed.

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A cold and unfeeling moon shone down on the rooftops of Haven City while faint stars glittered as pin-pricks in the smog that hid the skies and storm clouds quickly moved in to hide the remainder of the celestial ceiling.

Daxter could not see the sights above him, though he lay directly below them, stretched across the rooftop that once shielded the Underground's headquarters from the heavens. His eyes did not take in the moon, nor the clouds moving rapidly across the sky. Instead, his vision was turned inwards, replaying the scene that had driven him here. Jak and Keira, locked together in a desperate embrace, while his ears recalled the words she had said:

"I need you Jak... I want to forget everything, even if it's just for a little while."

'I need you Jak...'

Again.

'I need you Jak...'

And again, over and over. Countless times the words tumbled and merged, spinning around his head and forcing him to relive that single moment again and again and again....

"But I need him too..." Daxter whispered to the black sky, choked by the lump that had formed in his throat. "I've done everything for him, we've been through so much... I just want something from him... anything..."

A smile, a word of thanks, even just the sound of his name, all of those tiny things, things Jak did without a second thought, things Daxter would cling to, play over and over again, creating a little dream world in his mind. Always locking out the niggling voice that suggested that Jak did not feel the same for him.

Well now he knew, didn't he?

He'd just had to follow Jak, had to pick that exact moment to tell him, that exact moment to walk out there and see...

The scene played again.

'I need you Jak...'

"Why her? What's so freaking special about her?! What has she done that makes her sooo good?! All she ever did was mess around with all that stupid Precursor crap and get us into trouble! If it wasn't for her, then we wouldn't even be here! But noooo, she just had to know what that stupid ring did! She just had to take Jak with her! It's all her fault that Jak wound up in prison, it's her fault, and she didn't even try to rescue him! Noooo! I did it! ME! So why does she get to be so special?! It's NOT FAIR!!" he raged, kicking bits of old tile and rocks off the building.

The skies opened up and poured rain, instantly soaking the ottsel, and somewhat cooling his temper. Only a little though.

"I bet he won't even notice if I never go back! And anyway, he'll have her to make sure he doesn't need me. After all, no one needs or wants an ottsel around, do they?! I could die out here, and they probably wouldn't notice!" He paused for breath and huddled a little closer in on himself as the rain continued to pelt down.

'Surely though,' a part of him said, 'Jak will come looking for me, with this weather.'

He thought about this. Yes... Jak would probably notice he wasn't in the Naughty Ottsel, and come looking for him. He'd be found, Jak would be worried a little that he might have caught a cold, and offer to let him share the warmth of Jak's neck scarf, and they'd go back, and have a hot drink by a fire and talk. Just like old times...

The thought brought back memories of Sandover Village, and the heavy tropical downpours they had gotten there. Vertical walls of water. Most of the time the two of them had found themselves caught in the rain when it had started, and would have to spend an afternoon drying by a fire, just talking.... 'Well,' Daxter thought, 'I talked. He'd just listen...'

Jak had always been a good listener, though lately Daxter was beginning to wonder if he sometimes only heard what was said, not what was implied…

....He was really getting wet now...

Maybe it would be a good idea to head back to the Naughty Ottsel. Daxter started towards the stack of boxes he'd used to ascend to his perch, when he noticed something. It was a zoomer, close to the ground and moving slowly as the occupant appeared to be... searching. He didn't even need to check anything else, Daxter knew who it was, as surely as he knew his own name. The boxes were slippery, and dangerous in the rain, but Daxter barely noticed as he leapt down them onto the ground, intent as he was on the zoomer. It drew close, then stopped, and Jak's worried face peered out at him.

"Daxter? What are you doing out here in the rain?" Jak was having to yell over the sound of the rain hitting the protective canopy over the zoomer. "Get in!"

Daxter jumped in, grateful for the warmth and the break from the rain. He knew Jak would come for him!

"You're soaked to the bone." Jak remarked. He paused for a moment, then removed the red scarf around his neck. "Here. You can dry yourself with this, plus it might help to warm you up, if it doesn't get too wet."

Daxter took the cloth and began rubbing himself over vigourously, pausing occasionally to locate a dry space of cloth.

"What were you doing out here Daxter? I thought you were still in the Naughty Ottsel," Jak asked when Daxter paused to wring out the cloth.

Daxter froze. If Jak thought he was back at the bar, then why had he....

"I was.. uhh... thinking. Way to noisy to think back there. Plus, I didn't think anyone would miss me." A partial truth. "Anyway, I can ask you the same question! What're you doing here?"

Jak looked away for a moment. "I was looking for Keira. She... I needed to talk to her, but she wasn't at the Ottsel. Samos said she might have headed home, but with the rain, I wasn't sure if she had made it. I was trying to see if she was walking in this."

Daxter hurriedly resumed his drying, glad for the excuse to hide his face in the scarf. "Looking for Keira? So... You two were gonna meet up at her place? Do a little bit of the horizontal tango?" Daxter had to forcefully inject the suggestive humour into his voice and even then he sounded a little... annoyed. A breif glimpse at Jak's face showed momentary confusion and a scrutinizing look that Daxter decided he didn't want to face at this time.

"It's nothing like that." Jak said. "I just have to... fix something. I won't be long. Then we can head back to the Ottsel and get some sleep."

"Right."

Daxter tossed the sodden scarf to the floor, and flashed Jak and unexpected grin. "Well? Are we just gonna sit around here all night? Keira's probably back by now!"

Jak looked surprised, then smiled briefly (about as often as anyone saw him smile, Daxter recalled) before heading off towards Keira's place once more. 'So far so good,' Daxter thought, though the side-long glances Jak was giving him indicated he hadn't been as successful as he'd thought with setting Jak's mind to rest. 'Here come 'making sure Daxter's okay' questions all night...'

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Keira paused in the mundane task of making coffee. It was something that Haven City hadn't changed, something that was comfortingly familiar. She'd always loved the timeless ritual, the scent of the finely ground beans, followed by the coffee itself, fresh and inviting, with a delicate crown of froth topping it. Making coffee had always helped relax her, even though she didn't tend to drink so much of it, making it was very.... fulfilling, in an odd way.

But now...

Someone was disturbing her ritual.

It didn't seem fair! After what Jak had put her through, she really needed this time alone. Needed time to think, to work out the tangled mass of emotions in her mind, time to stop... blaming herself. It wasn't her fault, was it? Her mind always came back to that question, a broken record of sorts.

It wasn't her fault...

But she could have done something wrong without realizing... Moved too fast... not moves fast enough... Maybe she was a bad kisser? She didn't know, but Keira did know one thing.

Whoever it was that had interrupted her coffee, had better watch out.

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"Jak?" Keira hadn't really expected to see him when she opened the door. Part of her had hoped, had clung to the silly fantasy when he would turn up at her door, telling her it wasn't her fault, that it had been some kind of huge mistake....

But his face didn't say that now.

"Keira... I... needed to talk to you." he said.

"Fine, come in. Don't even bother to consider my feelings! After all, everything is screwed anyway, so what does it matter that you just broke all my dreams? Why not just walk all over me and use me as a doormat? Would you like that Jak? Should I lie in front of the door for you?!"

Jak looked taken aback by the sudden outburst, and stiffened slightly when Keira wrapped her arms around him again. The sudden change and contact was too similar... Gently, Jak disentangled Keira's arms and stood back.

"Keira, we both know this isn't going to work...."

"Why?! Why won't it work?! What is wrong Jak?! What have I done or said that makes it all fall apart? Please... I have to know." A sob entered her voice, and Keira looked up at him with pleading, tear-filled eyes, but Jak only stood there, staring at her, almost like he was arguing with himself.

"Keira... It's not you, it's me. I know how much you feel for me, but I just can't.... I like you Keira, as a friend. Maybe once upon a time, it could have been more. But now... I don't know any more. I don't think there's anyone for me, not now, and probably never. I hope you... find someone else. Someone who'll treat you better than me." Rain was falling down the back of Jak's neck, soaking his tunic and reminding him that his scarf was no longer available.

"Once upon a time..." Keira smiled wryly at that line. "Like some sort of fairy tale... What they tell children, while adults listen in, and know... Fairy tales aren't real. 'Once upon a time' has never saved anyone. And maybe... maybe I had my own fairy tale, something I wanted so badly... You broke my 'Once upon a time', Jak. Do you have any idea what that's like?"

His eyes seemed to blaze at that, and Keira trembled a little, suddenly aware that she may have taken things too far. "Of course I know, I know it more than you ever would." Shadows made his face threatening, made him seem to tower over her. "I spent two years in prison, learning that every single day. There are no hopes, no dreams, and no 'Once upon a times' in that place. So don't tell me that you're suffering!"

Keira backed away, she couldn't remember Jak ever having been this angry, and the way his eyes caught the light, seeming to shine from the shadows that hid his features... She stared at those eyes, desperately trying to see the first sign of them darkening, a sure sign that Jak was no longer himself... The rumours of what he became were varied, but the eyes... they all agreed. Eyes, like the very pits of hell. Suddenly she didn't want to know what he looked like then.

"What did you do in those two years? Did you even try to find us? Daxter didn't even know you were here, but he found me, so maybe you weren't looking! You stand there, babbling on about your dreams and hopes, and you don't even think of what I went through there, what I paid in that hell hole. And you dare to tell me that you're hurt?!"

"Jak... please don't.... you're scaring me..."

He drew back a little, horrified with something, but whether it was with her or with himself, Keira didn't know.

"You know what? Just forget it.... Forget what I said. Go back inside. I've... got things to do." Jak turned and headed back to the zoomer. "Let's go Daxter."

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Keira stared after them as the zoomer pulled out and headed back towards the Slums, then she turned around and went back inside. The coffee had gone cold by this time and was tipped into the drain without ceremony. The coffee-making things were carefully cleaned and put aside, all done in a half-daze. Then, turning on the heat generator, Keira carefully sat herself down in the biggest, most comfortable chair she owned, wrapped a blanket around herself, and started to cry.

She had a lot of catching up to do.

Preview of chapter three~

Daxter glanced out the side of the Zoomer and gulped hurriedly. The buildings were flashing by in a strange blur of grime and neon, too fast to make out details, like where they were.

'Jak does know that this is dangerous, right?!' Daxter thought frantically, his eyes dragging themselves back towards the road before them, as if he could keep them from crashing, simply by concentrating hard enough.

A corner loomed ahead, and Daxter almost stopped breathing as Jak swung the Zoomer around sharply, barely checking his speed.

Not even racing had been this bad. At least while racing everything was well lit, not soaked in rain, barely visible until you almost hit it....

At least the racing Zoomers were built for these speeds....

The dead end almost seemed to materialise in front of them, and the Zoomer was aimed straight for it.....

Time seemed to slow, becoming painfully detailed in the tiniest ways, and Daxter seemed aware of how... distant everything seemed. So extreamly detailed and real, it was too real, too much to take in all at once. Like it was happening to someone else.

The steel wall, looking extreamly solid and hard, rain making a soft sheen to it's surface, the hiss of the rain contacting the heated case of the Zoomer engine, the street itself, drenched in moonlight, the tortured scream of metal on metal as Jak hit the brakes, frantically, but too late... much too late....

The world stopped.

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*cackle* Who likes the preview~? ^^