Chapter Five

Betrayal

Just as the door to Trip's quarters closed behind her, Tia was surprised to almost collide with Lt. Reed, who was just approaching the door. "Ah, Tia, I had the feeling I'd find you here."

"Daai?" She was even more surprised. She could not imagine what the man wanted that he would come to Shar-les' quarters for.

"You were part of the initial landing party in the … other history." He concluded, still uncomfortable with the concept of varying time lines. "It occurs to me that you've never been checked out on our weaponry. I want to make sure you understand their use if you are going into combat." She considered the point briefly.

"Is that it wise is." She admitted.

"Come this way." He escorted her to the armory on F deck, one deck below, where among other things he had a testing program established for use in target practice with the phase pistols. When they entered the reinforced chamber, he took her to the weapons locker and removed a pistol, showing her how to open and insert a charge. "The extras you'll keep in a pocket in your uniform. Don't worry; they are perfectly safe until engaged in the chamber." He closed the top, handing the weapon to her. She hefted it a few times, getting the feel of its weight and balance. "Have you ever used anything like this?"

"It similar seems to the aks tui va forsuunt."

"To the what?"

She looked up at him with a wry smile. "Anston, Lieutenant. Know I what letters aks tui va would translate in your wernneuo to, er, alphabet to not. Auran thirty seven letters has. But forsuunt would to you be 'thirteen'. The aks tui va forsuunt a … 'coherent energy weapon' is. I think you might say 'duo-phasic'. It …" She described with her hand over the barrel of the phase pistol a device slimmer, longer and lower in the hand than the model she held, but one with two slim parallel barrels. "It two beams uses. Effect combines when the target it hits. Er, how can I … 'disrupts' the cell structure it does. Negates the bonding force that keeps the molecules touching one another it does. Secret it is, for use in long range only. Fire we do, then hide quickly."

"I think I understand. By the time anyone gets close enough to find out where the beam originated from, you're all long gone."

"Can knock from the sky a ship at forty valyris."

"I'd like to get hold of one of those babies." He said, impressed. If he understood, that was considerably further than a phase pistol's range. She shook her head.

"Would you want it not. This" She hefted the phase pistol, "can do what that can not."

"What's that?"

"Stun."

-

On that ominous note they begin the testing. "You'll have ten shots on the first level. The target drone will record simulated hits for the computer." At that moment, a small silver holographic sphere appeared and started moving about the room on an erratic course. Tia took careful aim with her arm fully extended and tried to track the movement, but it was moving so fast she could not 'catch' it to fire. For several long moments she tried to keep up, to anticipate the drone's position, but it was never where she expected it to be when she was ready to fire. She did not want to waste a shot, but she could barely keep up with tracking it. After over a minute, Reed pressed a button on the control, and the drone stopped in mid-air. "What's wrong?" She turned to face him, frustrated.

"Too fast it is. Can lead it not." She was frustrated, more so because she realized how close she was coming to being excluded from the landing party and the chance to protect her beloved. "At forty valyris a ship at a hundred valyris moving seems crawl to." Reed adjusted the control in his hand, deciding now would be a good time to test another feature he'd recently added to the program. He directed her attention back to the drone, making her turn to face it.

"Stop thinking of it as a distant Silurian ship. Your ground targets are going to be moving fast, you have to be ready for them." The drone darted to the left. She fired at where she thought it would go and when it veered off she missed by more than two meters. "There's an old adage: Stop trying to hit it and hit it." She cursed softly as she heard the computer count the mark against her. Rather than at the full extension she had been trained to use against distant targets; the only type the resistance was permitted to fire upon, she drew back her arm, trying to focus on where the fast moving drone would be. The drone turned and cut across directly in front of her at barely a meter away, and unexpectedly an electric charge erupted from it, striking her right breast. She yelped, nearly dropping the pistol, and whirled on Malcolm, covering her stinging breast with her left hand.

"Lieutenant Reed!" She exclaimed, outraged.

"I don't program the targets, but I suggest you pay attention." An instant later she heard a shrack and jumped with a yelp as a charge shocked her shapely posterior. She whirled and the beam from her pistol hit the drone dead center. Again and again she fired, hitting the fast moving, wildly evading drone nine times in less than that many seconds. At the tenth shot, the drone vanished.

"Not bad at all." Reed said. "Ninety percent. I think you'd have made a hundred if you hadn't been 'aiming'." She couldn't think of a thing to say, so monumentally outraged was she still at what he had done. Or at least what she perceived he had done. "Well, I think you're ready for tomorrow." He continued, ignoring her expression. "Take the pistol with you, and get some rest. You've only got about six hours. 0500 comes sooner than you think." He started to step past her, but the shock she had from the hits she had taken were nothing compared to that which assailed her at his last words.

"De stal?" She asked, making him turn back.

"I beg your pardon?"

"'What did you say'?"

"I said you've only got about six hours to rest. 0500 comes sooner than you think. It's … it's an earth expression."

"Sooner than I think." She whispered, shaken. "Sooner than I think." She started walking past him. "Sooner than I think." She whispered.

"Tia, are you all right?" She stopped, turning to him but seemed to look right through him.

"Nyas." She whispered, shaking her head. "Li eda nyasi." She turned away, walking out the door, feeling an ache low in her chest as if she had been kicked in the heart.

-

She returned to her quarters, still badly shaken. How could he do this to her? Why? How?

Unable to rest, she paced the room back and forth, having no answers. She stopped, thinking that if she could clear her mind, she could think better. Her heart was so wounded with betrayal that she could not bear it. She knew that, when she got like this, only one solution would help.

Removing her pink blouse and red skirt, and all other clothing, she draped everything in turn carelessly over the back of her desk chair and, crossing the room, opened a drawer of her dresser. From within she very carefully took a short robe that she had lovingly fashioned not long after her arrival, copying to the best of her ability the one she'd worn at home, now lost so far behind her. She handled the short red robe reverently, carefully, as if it were the original.

She put it on, the light material extending just barely past her hips, and ran her fingertip lightly over the flowing script sewn into the cuffs of each sleeve, thinking the words her fingertip traced. The language was ancient, so old she did not know when it had fallen into disuse, but the words were burned into her memory from long years of practice.

Cinching the belt, she went to the door and locked it, also engaging a secondary, private locking code, one Security did not have, remembering the time five months ago when Hoshi Sato, all unknowingly, had intruded upon her privacy. She'd created the second set of lock codes to make certain that would never happen again.

Going to the center of the room, she knelt down on the deck and took a deep, calming breath, relaxing her posture, allowing herself to settle back on her own legs, back bent slightly, head down. Her long golden hair fell forward to curtain her face, reaching down so the ends rested on the floor.

Under the partial curtain of her hair, she raised her hands to her head. With her first fingers she closed her ears, her second and third fingers pressed lightly to the pulse points at her temples, her smallest fingers lightly pressed upon the lids of her eyes, keeping them closed while her thumbs touched across her lips. Thus deaf, blind and dumb, aware only of the beating of her heart thumping low in her torso, her breathing was quite loud. She concentrated on quieting her breath, her respiration growing shallower and quieter until she could no longer hear anything but her heart thumping to the rhythm repeated under her fingertips. Then she opened herself up to Aura.

For many long minutes as her breath threatened to become audible she fought for calm, concentrated only on hearing her heart, concentrated on Aura. Finally, after an agonizingly long time, she began to see it. Actually, the sphere she saw in the darkness was what she recognized as her interpretation of Aura. No one had ever actually seen Aura, at least no one she had ever heard of, but this visualization was it to her.

But red it was, violent and incandescent, chaotic and tumultuous as her soul, not the placid blue she knew, the one she wanted most to see, the one she needed to see.

Her breath quickened for a moment, intruding, and she fought it down, fought for calmness. She tried to take the scarlet sphere, filled with fiery incandescence, and turn it a placid blue. She had to be calm; she could not commune in its present state. She could not even begin.

The luuru was upon her. She couldn't deny it any longer. She could fight it for a while longer, but in the end she would lose. It would have its way with her and claim her and take her to that place she could not avoid.

For many long minutes she tried for calm, to clear her visualization so she could meditate, but every time she started to gain headway in one area, to see shades of blue against the fiery red chaos, the scarlet overwhelmed her efforts and reclaimed her hard-won calm.

Again and again, as the minutes passed unheeded, she tried. But each time she started to gain a victory she was overcome and, like a virus that could not be contained, the chaos overwhelmed her. The chaos of the luuru was taking her. She could feel it inside herself, and knew she could not keep it from her much longer. Eventually, she would have to give in. She was afraid, and tried to put the fear behind her, but it would not go. No matter how afraid she was, there was nothing she could do. It would take her, and she did not know what would happen to her. Part of her was elated, part anticipated it, and part was terrified; and much as she wanted to, she could not shake the terror.

She had no sense of time, no sense of anything outside herself. Blind, deaf and dumb, hearing only her heartbeat as she forced her breath to remain silent; a much harder task than it should have been; she tried for calm, for peace, for – how could he do this to her?

No! She tried to push the feeling, the anger and outrage, aside as flame burned through her blue calmness, destroying her efforts and hard-won success. She had had almost half of the sphere converted, and now only a tiny piece was hers. She had almost been at the point where she could begin her meditation. Without the calm the blue represented in her visualization, her soul was so chaotic she could not meet with it, could not commune.

She started over with renewed, enforced calm. She concentrated on her joy here, on her delight at the thousand discoveries that greeted her each day, the delight of the friendships she had made, and slowly, with agonizing slowness over long minutes, the sphere became more and more placid, more blue winning over as she thought of her love discovered here, of her joy, of her peace. She thought of Hoshi and their friendship, of Liz and their long late night talks as the woman interpreted a universe of mysteries in dealing with humans. She thought of Shar-les and their love, of the joys they shared together, of their how could he lie to her like that?

Incendiary rage reignited the fire and it flared out of control, searing through Aura and burning everything out in a scarlet inferno! No, it can not be! She can not lose it now! She needed to meditate, to find her feelings and her soul, and she could not do it with this chaos. She almost sobbed in frustration, but forced it down violently. Calm! Peace! Love! Calm! She had to find calm! Calm! Joy! Calm!

She couldn't fight it. The chaos of luuru was upon her, as it came in time to all of her race, and no amount of meditation could hold it back much longer. But now was not the time! It could have her later. It could take her later. Later. Later!

Gradually, oh so slowly, so agonizingly slowly she found that small piece of calm near her heart, and worked to expand it. She worked to direct it to the sphere, to use it to envelop the flames, to smother them in peace. If she could not coax peace from within, she would smother the rage from without!

Slowly the flames began to die. Peace was beginning to win through – even though she had had to force its victory. Gradually more and more blue appeared in the sphere, minute after unheeded minute, winning more and more space and she began to feel more and more at peace within herself. It took less and less force; peace was winning. She felt the calmness suffuse her, relax her. Almost there. Her visualization of Aura was blue; placid. She was at peace with the universe as Aura was at peace with her inner cosmos. She was ready to begin. Finally!

Her shoulders were relaxed, and a while later her arms were relaxed. She felt the calmness, the peace, spread slowly, gradually, through her neck, through her back and chest. Slowly, oh so slowly it spread to her head and down to her hips. The tension in her legs would fade now, soon. Only the barest hint of red remained, only the smallest shadow, a barely discernable bit of foulness upon the smoothness. Soon it would be over.

Peace. She would be at peace. Calmness. She would regain her calm. Joy would be hers again. She would be happy again. She would be fulfilled and at peace with the world. She could relax and be at peace again and begin her healing meditation. She would be at peace for 0500. She had to be because 0730 was a Fringatye LIE!

Aura burst into flame, consumed in the blinding fury of a red sun! So violent was the flare that she was rocked back on her heels, her hands flying from her face, her golden hair flying as she knelt gasping, the anger tightening every muscle in her body. She clenched her hands, trying desperately to hold back the rage that threatened to consume her. There was still time, she could begin again. She could still have time to touch Aura, if only she could first find the calm peace she needed. She needed to commune, to meditate, to overcome this … this anger! She couldn't commune without it, and she desperately needed to before she could sleep! She had to. She had to rid herself of this anger!

Her eyes fell on the chronometer beside her bed: '0423' it said. She had been trying for over 5 hours! She clamped a hand over her mouth barely in time to smother herself, unable to restrain the shriek of murderous fury that tore through her!

When she could relax again, push aside the frustration and the anger, she found herself trembling. "Nyas!" She gasped, looking at her trembling hands. "(Ready am I not. Too soon for the luuru. Too soon! Ready am I not!)" She fought to get her body under control, almost giving way to sobs of frustration as it became harder and harder to do. She was weak, so weak that she could barely move, but the trembling in her body was going to overwhelm her.

She pushed herself up, trying not to stagger on bare feet as she almost fell into a small cabinet, pulling open the door and taking out a container, her hands shaking so badly she could barely get it open. She dropped the cap onto the floor, unable to hold it, and looked with utter revulsion into the container at the milky substance within. "Qualsia!" She begged Aura, barely sure she was being heard. "(Not yet! Not today! I am not ready! Please! Not today!)"

Raising the container to her trembling lips, she forced herself to drink the vile concoction, grimacing at the horrible taste as she forced herself to swallow more and more of the mixture. She groaned, trying not to gag, to relax and not fight as she forced herself to drain the container of every drop.

She fell to her knees, dropping the container on the floor, one hand clamped hard over her mouth, the other to her stomach, fighting the nausea, fighting to keep from being sick, fighting her body to keep it down lest she have to drink another full measure!

-

When Trip Tucker, leading two of Security's most reliable officers and most expert marksmen, approached the transporter alcove, he found the technician on duty all ready for him. "You have the coordinates?"

"To the millimeter. I'll set you down behind the wall, less than six inches before the place the device is buried."

"Good." He turned to the team behind him. "So far sensors are clear, but that won't last long, if what happened to the 'Heart of Glory' is any indication." He once again addressed the transporter tech. "Keep a lock on us. If I let out a yell, I want us back aboard before the echo dies."

"Aye, sir."

"Let's get going." He turned and was about to step up into the alcove when he saw that it was already occupied. A young woman wearing the blue of Starfleet, her golden hair cascading down behind her, was leaning against the back wall.

"Dampris ilinta, Shar-les." She said softly.

"Good morning, Tia." He answered, trying to hide his thoughts, his feelings, and doing neither very well. "Ready to go?" She shook her head.

"Nyas, Shar-les." She said just as softly, coming off the wall and stepping slowly up to him in the small alcove. Standing in the slightly elevated alcove, she was of a height with him. "It only 0500 is. Beamdown 0730 is."

"Yes. Well –."

"Shar-les," She said lovingly, almost a sigh. She reached down and took his hand, pressing it low to her chest, where a human's diaphragm would rest, "my heart to yours always is." She raised it up, pressing her lips to his wrist. "My life to yours always is." She whispered. She let go of his hand, and pressed her hand to his cheek. "Li vantis cuvilir. Forever!" She leaned closer, kissing him, a long, deep, loving kiss. "Tuvi mrunion Alirki ne Avinyaan seelna edalouu." She whispered in deepest love, her lips touching his. "You my Alirki ne Avinyaan always shall be." She stepped a half step back, withdrawing her hand from his cheek, and slapped him hard, the sharp crack echoing up and down the corridor!

"Now is that I ready am!" She declared, stepping back into the alcove, waiting.

Trip did not look at either man beside him, and they very pointedly did not look their Commander in the eye nor at his reddening cheek as the three stepped up onto the transporter.

"Crouch down low, everybody." The transporter technician reminded them. "Remember, the barrier is barely a meter high."