Moomintroll was soft against my side. We nearly got caught in the rain outside. The evidence is on my coat hanging next to the door and the dampness of Moomins fur. That ultimately didn't matter as we were wrapped up in a blanket and curled up on the velvet couch in the drawing room.

Little My had stolen my hat and was wearing her prize catch on the chair next to us. It didn't fit her, so it just covered most of her body and she poked her head out from time to time to grab a cookie. She snapped her jaws at Moomins paw when he tried to take one as well.

I leaned closer to Moomin as he shifted away from My. Moomin wraps an arm around me and I close my eyes. He presses a kiss to my check, and my body immediately feels like warm syrup.

The moment of sweetness was interrupted with a gag from Little My. I opened my eyes quick enough to see Moomin shot her a look.

"If you're so bothered by us then why don't you go somewhere else?"

Little My looked at him like he was stupid, "Mamma and Pappa said I had to stay with you two,"

"And you're listening to them?" I asked her.

"I was promised extra pie tomorrow if I did," She said and grinned proudly.

I blinked at her in disbelief. Moominmamma and Moominpappa wouldn't actually do that, right?

Moomintroll rolled his eyes, "You don't need to worry, we aren't going to do anything."

"The parents need to know that, but I still want that pie." My replied.

I look away from her. I'm sure they mean well, but must the Moomin parents do this? It feels invasive almost. And having my sister of all people spy on us.

I'll put the matter on the backburner for now. I don't need to think about what other people think me and Moomin are doing. The night is still young and the rain is constant. I can stay as long as I want beside Moomintroll.

...

It's been an hour or so since sunrise, but I can't make myself get up. It was warm under the blankets with Moomintroll. The bed wasn't particularly comfortable for me, as I sunk into the softness of it. But Moomintroll had his arm around my waist and his nose pressed against the back of my neck.

I would stay here forever if I could. It felt so right just to be held. I lace my fingers into Moomins, feeling the difference between his fur and the fabric of my undershirt.

Moomin let out a sigh against my neck. I could feel the air touch my skin and hair in a gentle sweep. It moved a piece of my hair to lay across my cheek. It tickled.

There was a knock at the door.

"Are you two decent?" Snorkmaidens asked, her voice breaking the moment.

Moomintroll inhaled sharply as he finally woke up. His arm pulled away from my waist as he turned over. It left a cold spot on my body.

I tugged the blanket up to my nose, feeling the bed move as Moomin got up. I can hear his tail dragging behind him as he walks towards the door. I press my face into the pillow as Moomin opened the door.

"Did you two enjoy your night alone?" Snorkmaiden said in a teasing voice.

Moomintroll grunted and Snorkmaiden laughed. I heard him shoo her away and shut the door again. Moomin shuffled over to the bed and leaned over me. He presses his snout to the top of my head poking out from the blanket.

I hummed and turned over to look at him. My body once again goes warm and soft at the gentle attention. Moomin cups my check, rubbing his thumb against the soft skin under my eye.

"Shall I get us some tea?" Moomin asks, voice just as sleepy as his eyes.

I smile at him, turning my head slightly and kissing his palm. What a remarkable Moomintroll I have. He presses his snout to my temple in response.

With that he left the bed, leaving the room to get tea. I roll over into the warm spot Moomin left in the bed. I was content to push Snorkmaidens words out of my head for now.

...

Breaking camp is almost second nature at this point. Folding my tent and rolling it. Putting my smaller objects into their respective pockets. Strapping my tent onto my pack to mark the end of breaking camp.

Or at least that would be the end of it. I was supposed to head to Moominhouse and wait for Moomintroll so we can head out for a camping trip. Which we had been planning all week.

My father had delayed my plans to get going in the early morning. He was sitting next to me on the log that he had pulled me onto. I wanted to pull out my pipe, just to have something to do.

"So… You two will be alone?" Joxter said in an unreadable tone.

I look at him from under the brim of my hat, "Is that a bad thing?"

"No, no, that's not it," Joxter pauses for a moment, seemingly thinking over his words, "I just… want you two to be careful is all."

"It isn't a very dangerous area, we'll be plenty safe," I say and grab my pack to leave.

But Joxter puts a hand on my shoulder and keeps me from leaving.

"That's not what I meant boyo." Of course it isn't. "I just mean that you and Moomintroll are young and have been courting for some time…"

Oh bobble not this. Anything but this. I don't need to hear this from my father. Resisting the urge to roll my eyes or gag, I reach into my pack and grab my pipe.

I try very hard to tune out the sound of my father. Staring very hard at the ground as my dad talks, I try to think of something else. Like if I forgot anything for the trip.

Biting on my pipe was the only life line. Picking at the dry skin on my finger to distract myself from the hand gestures my dad was making besides me.

"... Do you understand?" My dad said, turning to me and not looking like he himself understood anything he said.

Regardless I nod, if only to get him to stop talking. I wanted to leave and run away to the Lonely Mountains and not return until next spring. I grab my pack and stand up finally. Just as I was about to bolt to Moominhouse, Joxter grabbed my sleeve.

"Before you head out, your mother would like to see you, she's down on the beach."

I let out a vague noise, and he let me go. Then I walked as fast as my legs could to the safety of Moominhouse.

...

Walking hand in hand with Moomintroll was a dream. We were walking along the path to the beach to see my mother. As much as I enjoy her and my siblings' company, we were meant to be an hour or two into our trip.

"I'm sorry, again," I say to Moomin.

"You don't need to be sorry," I can hear the smile in his voice, "Family is family, and sometimes they want to see you."

I press my tongue to the roof of my mouth. When I told Moomin about my mother wanting to see me I had hoped he would say we wouldn't have time. But he just smiled and said that she had room for two because he also wanted to visit. Oh my sweet, dear Moomintroll.

Before I knew it we were walking on sand. The ocean was in its endless push and pull of itself. I can see my mothers house on the giant turtle. How it never falls over I'll never know.

There were a few of my siblings playing outside. They were building a sandcastle. One of them was buried beside it, their toes and head the only parts of them sticking out.

Mymblemamma opened the door as we approached. When I was finally in reach she swept me up into a nearly rib crushing hug. I would hug her back but she has my arms pinned in the hug.

She then set me down, ushering me and Moomintroll into the house. Less than half an hour later, Moomintroll was being entertained (tormented) by my siblings in the living room. I was pulled into the kitchen with my mother.

"I hear you and Moomintroll are going on a trip?" My mother asks, her large smile not wavering as she poured glasses of lemonade.

"You heard right," I say, tracing my finger along a carving in the wood.

My mother set down the pint of lemonade, putting her hand on my check and lifting my head to look at her.

"I want you to know that pulling out isn't a safe method to avoid pregnancy,"

I look at her in horror, "Mother!"

"Oh hush!" She said as she took her hand off my face, voice teasing, "You two are young! I know you'll probably be messing around at some point."

I frown as she turns back to the glasses. Why does everyone expect us to be fooling around whenever we're alone? Why does it matter so much what me and Moomintroll do in our relationship?

I took the glass my mother offered me, and I grabbed her attention before she could leave the kitchen.

"Mother," I say, "Can… What if someone doesn't really want to have sex with the person they like?"

Mymble blinks in confusion, "Well, then how are you supposed to know you really like them then?"

And just like that she left me in the kitchen. My tongue felt too large for my mouth. When I took a sip of the lemonade it tasted both too sour and too sweet.

...

The fire was warming my face. It was late but I didn't feel like sleeping. My mothers words are still weighing heavy in my head. And accompanying them were the words of others before.

Why do people expect us to have sex? Am I meant to just go along with it, even if I don't really want to? It's not that I don't like Moomintroll. I love Moomintroll with my whole heart. And if I could build a life with him I would. I would come home to him every spring for the rest of my life.

But sex isn't something I can see myself really… doing. When I opened one of Snorkmaidens romance books and it described the characters desire, I just couldn't understand it. I understand the want to be held by the person you love, to be loved back. But that's where my understanding stops.

Does Moomintroll feel these urges? What will he think when he finds that I don't share the same want? Will he still want to be with me?

The sound of the tent opening stopped my train of thought. Moomintroll crawled out and joined me in front of the fire. He leaned his head against my shoulder.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asks.

I open my mouth to tell him yes, I am okay. But the words caught in my throat. All I could do was swallow them back down and lean my head against his. His touch makes me feel warm in ways the campfire couldn't.

Moomin took my hand in his. His soft fur was grounding. I squeeze his hand and he squeezes mine right back.

Moomin presses his nose to my check, "What's on your mind?"

I turn my head and nuzzle my nose against his. Then I press my lips to his nose. I hear him sigh and then he presses closer to me. His thumb rubbing against my hand.

I pull away and think for a moment. I don't want to ruin what we have. But I don't want Moomin to be expecting something I may never give him.

So I finally say, "If I could only offer you this for the rest of our lives, would you still want me?"

I feel Moomin pause for a moment. I don't really want to look him in the eye.

"Everyday I am overjoyed I can even have this," He says, "I want you every moment you're not at my side Snufkin."

I don't think he understands what I mean. I turn my head to look at the fire. I need to put more wood in it.

"If… If I said I never wanted to have sex with you, would you still want me?" I can feel my voice wavering as tears come to my eyes.

Moomintroll didn't say anything. I should have known. I try to pull my hand away, but Moomin holds onto it tightly. Only then do I look him in the eye.

He has this almost pained look in his eye. And I'm not completely sure what he's going to say.

"Is that what you think I do this for?" Moomin asks, pulling my hand to his chest, "Because I only want to sleep with you?"

I don't respond. I just try to blink my tears away. I can feel a few escape and roll down my checks, hot as they go, leaving a cold trail behind.

"Snufkin," He says, his voice strong, like he's trying to reach me, "I am here because I love you. If we never have sex then so be it. If you never want me to touch you again then your wish is granted. Being by your side and calling you mine is one of the greatest things to happen to me! I want you, no matter what."

I can feel more fat tears rolling down my face. When I opened my mouth the only thing that came up was a hiccup. I press my nose to Moomins and hope he understands.

He puts his free hand onto my cheek, wiping away the wetness. My free hand goes to his scruff, trying to pull him closer. It took a while to catch my breath again. By then the fire was down to its coals.

I pull my face away from his and bring my hands to the side of his face. Oh my dearest, darling Moomintroll. I press a mymble kiss to the end of his snout.

"I love you too," I say.