Title: WatchingRating: Pg
Spoilers: Up to current episodes
Category: Tragedy/Angst
Pairing: Faith/Bosco
Summary: A sad story, based around Faith when she loses Bosco forever, and how their young daughter feels. Apologies…it is hard for me to think up a summary for this.
Authors Notes: When is says Faith in bold it is her POV, italics are flashbacks and normal font with no "Faith" in bold is third person POV. I hope this isn't to confusing. Song is called Heaven 911 and belongs to Los Lonely Boys. Enjoy and please drop a review by me!
Watching
Faith
"I'm
sorry, we did everything we could…his injuries were just too much
for his body to handle." The doctor said sadly, his shoulders
slumped forward and his arms limp by his sides. His tired, old gray
eyes showed that losing a patient was not easy, even after years of
experiencing it over and over again.
My entire world crumbled immediately upon the doctor's words, the room and the people in it seemed to spin as my brain processed what it was being told. I had a feeling deep inside that this would happen when I was dragged from that room, but I didn't want to accept it.
"No…" I croaked.
"I'm so sorry…"
"No, no, NO!" I cried, my knees giving out from under me as I crashed onto the hospital floor. The room spun in circles around me as a sat there, my whole body felt numb. Somebody to my left knelt down beside me and put their hand on my shoulder.
It had no comforting effect whatsoever.
"It wasn't supposed to turn out this way…after everything that happened…after all we went through…" I mumbled to myself.
I felt sick to my stomach and I could soon feel the bile traveling up into my throat. In one jerky motion I automatically tilted my head forward and vomited right on the waiting room floor. The person beside me gasped and jumped back in shock, but was soon beside me again, saying my name softly.
My body, overwhelmed with shock, would no longer cooperate with me, and I fell onto my side, gazing quietly at the wedding band on my finger as someone yelled for more help. The band slowly got more and more blurry until all that was left was darkness.
"Faith…baby, we have to get ready for work." Bosco shook his girlfriend awake softly, she had spent the night at his apartment, and had officially moved in yesterday.
"Mmmmhmmm...I'm up…" The blonde woman mumbled, stumbling out of bed as she untangled herself from the sheets. She smiled at her boyfriend and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before wandering off to the bathroom for a shower. Half of her belongings were still scattered in boxes on the floor…they had not finished unpacking last night.
Bosco walked into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water as he listened to Faith in the shower. He felt as if he were the luckiest man in the world, and wanted for her to marry him…but he new that that would have to come in time. For now he was quite satisfied just having her with him.
The water suddenly turned off, and 20 minutes later, Faith stood beside him in the kitchen, fully clothed, make-up on, and hair up. "Alright I'm ready…I never should've agreed to work 4 hours earlier today. Now I have to hear Jelly complain about what he should eat for lunch and dinner…and possibly a second 'late' breakfast…" She whined as Bosco grabbed his car keys and motioned her out the door.
"It was just easier this way…I have to go in earlier to cover Brooke's last half of the 2nd shift…this way you don't have to take the subway or bus. Don't worry though we'll get you a car as soon as it's possible…I promise." Bosco smiled as he locked the door.
"I know, I know. I guess I have to get an early start on that arsonist case anyways…" She replied with a smirk. She looked over at the handsome man and found herself lost in his face, her eyes gazing intently on the white scar on his cheek, it had improved drastically in the 3 years since he had received it, but the memory of that day would still be forever burned into both of their memories.
"Oh please tell me that she is alright." Sasha Monroe asked the doctor with desperate eyes. After Faith had fainted the doctor in the room had immediately gotten some assistance and had her on a bed and into a room immediately.
"She'll be fine," the doctor said calmly, "she is in a lot of shock, a lot of things have happened today…"
"I still can't believe what happened…I can't…" Rose Boscorelli sobbed, staring down at her daughter in-laws pale face sadly. "Both of my babies…gone." She whimpered, burying her face in her hands. John Sullivan was immediately at her side, offering her a comforting shoulder as she totally broke down.
FaithI can hear the people in the room talking about me…asking if I'm alright. I probably could open my eyes right now and look at them all, but I just don't care anymore. Right now, at this moment, all I want to do is let the darkness take me again…I want to return to the past…I want to go back to my husband and pretend that all of this is just a nightmare. So once again I let the blackness engulf me so that I am oblivious to the fact that my husband is gone…that I am lying in a hospital bed suffering from severe shock and that there are people all around me who love me and desperately want me to come back to them.
Faith stood in front of the stand up mirror and gazed at herself intently, attempting to pick out anything that may be imperfect about her hair, or a smudge by her eyeliner…or even a crinkle in her beautiful white dress. She found none, which made her very satisfied with her appearance…everything had to be perfect today, because today the man perfect for her was about to make her his wife.
"Oh Faith…you look absolutely beautiful!" Rose cried softly, tears of happiness threatening to leak out of her eyes.
Faith smiled and replied with a very low thank you.
"I'm so glad that this is finally happening…everyone is just so happy for you two. I think everyone here knew that this was a long time coming…" Rose said thoughtfully as she attempted to smooth a crinkle in the brides dress, a crinkle to Faiths puzzled expression, that did not seem to exist. She smiled softly and gently took Roses hands in her own. "I love Maurice very much Rose, don't worry, I'll take good care of him."
"I'm not worried…you've been taking care of him for the last 15 years." Rose grinned. "Oh dear, I better get back out there…it's about to start!" She said excitedly, giving Faith one last hug before hurrying out of the room.
A little over 15 minutes later…the traditional music started to play. Faith took a deep breath and slowly exited the room and into the isle, where her father waited for her with a smile plastered over his face. Her mother sat at the front bench along with her brother and his family. Emily and Charlie sat with them, neither of them had made any objections to Bosco's marriage proposal to their mother, on the contrary, it seemed they were very happy about it.
Of course, their friends from the 55 had come as well, even Cruz and Sasha had been invited, both of them had been forgiven for past mistakes…it was time for a fresh beginning.
As Faith and her father walked up the isle to her new husband, all she could think about how different this wedding was compared to her first one, for the first time in her life, she felt as if everything was going to be alright from now on.
"Grandma Rose…where's daddy? Is mommy okay?" A young voice asked questionably, two very big and deep blue eyes staring up at Rose curiously.
It had been just over 12 hours since Faith had collapsed; the doctor came in routinely to make sure that everything was okay. Emily had come with Jessica, her 5 year old step sister…daughter of her mother and Bosco.
The members of the 55 had gone to the waiting room to give the family some privacy.
Rose knelt down to her granddaughter's height and smiled sadly. "Jessa…don't worry mommy is alright she is just sleeping for a little while okay?"
"Oh…okay…but what about daddy? Where is he?" The young girl inquired.
Rose could feel the lump forming in her throat as the water started to build in her eyes. She couldn't help as a tear started to drip down her cheek.
"Grandma! Don't cry, don't worry if you don't know where daddy is, I'm sure he'll be back soon anyways." Jessica said reassuringly, using her tiny hand to wipe away.
"Oh Jessa, baby I'm sorry but daddy isn't coming back…" Rose said sadly.
"What? Of course he is grandma don't be silly." Jessica smiled, believing that her grandmother was playing a joke on her.
"Baby…you know what heaven is right?" Rose asked quietly.
"Yes, it's the place where people go when they can't live here anymore; it's a happy place where you can do whatever you want." The toddler replied.
"That's right…and that's where your daddy has gone." Rose choked, trying desperately to be strong for the little girl.
Jessica just stared at her for a couple of minutes before saying, "No grandma, daddy wouldn't leave me and mommy ever."
"Your daddy loves you very much but he had to go away." Rose whispered, holding the little girls hand tightly.
"This isn't funny anymore grandma, where's daddy? I want my daddy now!" Jessica said loudly, and when Rose simply knelt there with tears now flowing freely down her cheeks, she started to ball.
"Daddy? Daddy where are you!" She shrieked, tears running down her cheeks as she ripped her tiny hand away from Rose's and ran out of the room.
Emily, who had been watching the conversation quietly, quickly caught up to Jessica and brought her back into the room. The five year old clutched onto her neck tightly, crying and yelling for her daddy. When she caught sight of her mom lying still on the bed she started to whimper quietly with silent tears streaking her small, round cheeks.
"Mommy, wake up and tell daddy to stop hiding…please mommy?" She asked in between sniffles.
Rose looked over at Emily, who had set Jessica on the bed and said shakily, "Please excuse me for a moment…" With that she out of the room and down the hall, her hands wiping her face as she walked.
Emily set the now half asleep girl beside her mother on the bed. Jessica looked a lot like Bosco, the same blue eyes and nose, the only difference was the hair…where Bosco's hair was, or had been a dark brown, Jessica's was a dirty blonde and wavy like her moms.
Emily sighed softly, she didn't know if anything would ever be the same again.
Faith sat nervously on the couch; waiting for her husband to get home from work…she had taken a sick day. When she heard the apartment door finally open her heart began to pump faster. She had something very important to tell Bosco, something that would change both of their lives forever.
Bosco threw his keys down on the coffee table and plopped down beside Faith on the couch. "Hey sweetie, are you feeling any better?" He asked curiously as he leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Mmm Bosco I have something very important to tell you, I don't know if it's good news or not." Faith said slowly.
"What is it?" Bosco asked nervously.
"Bosco…I took a test today and well…we're pregnant." She said quickly.
Bosco simply stared at her for a few seconds before the biggest smile he had ever cracked lit up his face. "You mean…we're going to have a baby!" He asked, apparently amazed at the thought.
"That is generally what pregnant means." Faith said with a soft laugh.
"This is amazing…I love you Faith and I can't wait to have this little baby!" Bosco said happily as he pulled his wife into the tightest hug ever. "I promise I'll be the best dad ever."
"I know you will." Faith smiled softly.
The two sat on the couch the rest of the night, both thinking about the new life that was about to enter their family.
FaithI open my eyes slowly, squinting against the harsh lights above me. I can feel a small weight by my side, and when I look over I see my baby girl curled up in a ball with her thumb in her mouth, her cheeks are streaked with drying tears.
I can feel my heart break in two all over again. I've been asleep while my little Jessa has been suffering the loss of a father that she was extremely close to. I slowly sit up and prod her gently until she wakes up and looks over at me. A part of me wants to go back asleep again so I can relive my life with Bosco, but I know I have to keep going for my little Jessica…she needs me.
"Mommy…Grandma said daddy is in heaven…is she telling the truth?" Are the first words out of my daughter's mouth, she is instantly awake.
"Your daddy will always love you; even though you can't see him he will always be watching you. Your daddy was a very brave man yesterday…do you understand what I'm saying baby?" I answered slowly, attempting to help ease the pain my youngest daughter must be feeling inside, knowing that I will have to get to my own later.
"I think so mommy…but I'm going to miss him so much…are you sure we can't go and visit heaven?" Jessica sniffled.
"I'm sorry we can't visit heaven, I wish we could sweetie I really wish we could." I whispered, hugging my daughter against me tightly as Emily, Charlie and Rose walked into the room.
"Mom…I'm so sorry." Charlie said gently, taking his moms hand and squeezing it. He was very relieved to see his mother sitting up and talking.
I smile weakly at my only son and squeeze his hand back.
"We're all going to miss him so much." Emily said, her voice trembling with emotion, it was very hard for her to think that her old Uncle B, the one who had saved her twice…once from a robbery and once when she overdosed…was gone for good.
"Where are Sully and all of them?" I ask quietly.
"They all left a couple of hours ago…Sully said he would come back once you were awake." Charlie replied.
I nod and look over at Rose; her life had been torn apart on her all over again. When Bosco had survived Mann's shooting rampage, it had given all of us a new hope…and now that he is gone everything is wrong again.
God, why did you do this to me and my family? Haven't we suffered through enough? I thought to myself sadly.
Everyone in the room stood in silence around me…it was soon broken however by a doctor entering the room, the same one who had delivered the news about Bos.
"I'm glad your awake Mrs. Boscorelli, I am just going to check a few things and then you should be free to go…and make any necessary preparations…" He said to me seriously, his eyes landing on my daughter who had buried her head in my shoulder. His gray eyes reflected a deep sadness, a sadness that I could see instantly.
As he started to leave I quickly said, "Um, I never got to say this before but…thank you for trying."
He smiled back at me sadly and nodded before exiting the room in silence.
A short hour later I found myself walking out of the main hospital doors. It felt odd knowing that just over 24 hours ago I was bolting through them to get news on my husband, not knowing that my life was about to change for the worst.
So now I stand here with my daughter clinging tightly to my neck, Emily, Charlie and Rose walking by my side in a silent type of support. Sully is also with me, he is on the phone with someone from the 55 I'm assuming, giving them the news about my release and all of the details about what had happened since yesterday.
I get into the passenger seat of Sully's car; he is driving us back home so that arrangements can be made for my husband.
Faith and Emily sat on the couch in Faith's living room. Her oldest daughter had decided to come down for the weekend; Charlie would soon be here as well.
Faith had somehow landed the day off and had spent it with her baby girl Jessica and Emily. Bosco had was getting off work at 9 instead of 12, so he would be home in about an hour.
Jessica had been fed and put to bed a short while ago. She had attempted to wait up for her dad but her day of shopping at the mall and going to the movies had tuckered her out.
Faith and Emily were stuffing their faces full with pepperoni pizza and root beer. They were watching an episode of Family Guy, which Faith thought was really stupid but Emily thought was funny, when the buzzer went off unexpectedly.
"Who could that be? Bosco isn't supposed to get home for another hour and he has a key." Faith said to Emily with a puzzled expression as she got up.
"Hello?" She said into the speaker.
"Faith…it's Sully and Sasha you have to let us come up now. Hurry." His voice sounded grim.
Faith felt her stomach do flips as she pressed the button allowing the two to come in. Her instincts instantly told her that something horrible had happened to her husband. She stood at the front door wringing her hands anxiously; Emily had come out from the living room as well to find out what was going on.
Soon the two co-workers were inside the apartment.
"Faith, Bosco was hurt pretty bad...we need you to come down the hospital immediately…a bus is taking him to Mercy as we speak." Sully said hurriedly.
"It doesn't look very good Faith..." Sasha added, her face a mask of worry and concern.
"Go mom…I'll stay with Jessica…phone me when you find out what's going on." Emily said, her face white.
Faith didn't hesitate a moment longer, she quickly put on her coat and was soon out the door, following Sully to the squad car as Sasha explained what had happened to Bosco.
FaithHe died trying to take down a perp wanted for dealing. It was something that a cop did on a day to day basis. He had chased him down an alley not over an hour before he was supposed to come home, with his young partner Finney not far behind him. He had turned a corner and bam the guy was there with a knife.
Apparently he didn't even have time to aim his gun before the young dealer had stabbed him. He fell to the ground and was stabbed once more before Finney had finally shot him dead. Bosco hadn't died in a blaze of glory, all he did was do what a cop was supposed to do…and he lost his life doing it.
Apparently the dealer was wanted on another charge, he had attempted to kidnap a young girl as she was walking home from school.
Today is his funeral, it's already half over and still I'm walking around in some sort of daze…not really aware of the people around me. So many people have come up to offer me their condolences, most of them have tears running down their eyes.
Jessica is holding my hand tightly as we stand in the graveyard. She has been incredibly strong since we left the hospital. I don't think I'd be able to go on anymore if it wasn't for her…she's my rock.
Bosco is of course given a police officers type of funeral. I am presented with a folded American flag, which I clutch tightly in my free hand against my chest. Rose is presented with the same flag.
The officers stood in neatly formed lines as music was played. Sully and Ty are in the first row. They and several other officers go up one by one and lay a red rose on Bosco's sleek, black coffin. Rose, Jessica, Charlie, Emily and I are the last ones to go up.
I place the red rose on my husband's coffin and look at his tombstone.
Maurice
Boscorelli
A loving father, son and husband
Forever watching over us from the skies above
You will be missed
My daughter is soon beside me, she has to stand up on her toes to place her rose on her father's grave. She looks up at me and says, "Mommy don't be sad, now daddy can watch us wherever we are."
Her smile is sad, and it suddenly strikes me how much she reminds me of Bos.
"Everything is going to be okay baby…I promise." I say softly, kneeling down and giving her a gentle hug. She nods and looks back at the coffin; she reaches out with her tiny hand and places it flat on the wood.
"I really, really miss you. Bye daddy, I love you."
Faith burst through the emergency doors of Mercy, and as fate would have it, she spotted her husband on a stretcher being wheeled into the trauma room. "Bosco!" She yelled frantically, leaving Sully and Sasha trailing behind her as she rushed over to him.
"Bosco? Oh Bos please baby our going to be okay." She whispered, her voice shaking.
"Faith…" Bosco mumbled slowly, rolling his head painfully so that he was looking directly at his wife.
The nurses had by this time wheeled him into trauma 3 and were attempting to get Faith out of the room, but she wouldn't listen, her eyes fixated on her husband. He had been beaten badly and stabbed twice in the chest by a young drug dealer.
"Faith I love you." Bosco said, his voice low and strained.
"Baby you're going to be alright. Don't you dare give up after everything that we've been through." Faith replied, terrified.
"Faith I'm sorry babe, please tell Jessa that I love her and that I'll always be watching." Bosco choked back.
Faith could instantly see in his eyes that he wouldn't be able to beat it this time. A nurse had finally gotten a good hold of her and was slowly dragging her out of the room.
"I love you Maurice!" Faith yelled, tears starting to fall down her face, she knew deep inside that she was seeing her husband alive for the last time.
"I love you and Jessa…I'll always be watching…I promise…" Bosco said back hoarsely as Faith was finally dragged completely out of the room.
"I'll always be watching…"
-
It's
been a year daddy
I really really miss you
Mommy says your safe
now
In a beautiful place called heaven
Oh I'm thinking about our younger years
We had your favorite dinner tonight
There was only you and me
I ate it all up
We were young and wild and free
Even though I don't like carrots
Now nothing can take you away from me
I
learned how to swim this summer
We've been down that
road before
I can even open my eyes
But that's over now
While I'm under water
You keep me coming back for more
Can't
you see me?
Baby you're all that I want
When
you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're
in heaven
I started kindergarten this year
Love is all that I
need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to
see
We're in heaven
I carry a picture of us
In
my Blue's Clues lunchbox
Oh once in your life you find someone
You are the greatest daddy
Who will turn your world around
Pick
you up when you're feeling down
Now nothing can change what you
mean to me
I can swing on the swing by myself
There's a lot that I
could say
But just hold me now
Even though I
miss you pushing me
Cause our love will light the
way
Can't you see me?
Baby you're
all that I want
When you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding
it hard to believe
We're in heaven
I miss how you used to tickle me
And love is all that I need
Tickle my belly
And I found
it there in your heart
My belly hurts
It
isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven
I try not to cry
I've been waiting for so long
Mommy says it's okay
For something to arrive
For love
to come along
I know you don't like it when I cry
Now our dreams are coming true
Through the
good times and the bad
You never wanted me to be sad
I'll be standing there by you
I try Daddy but it hurts
Baby you're all that I want
Is
it true you're not coming home?
When you're lying here in my arms
Maybe someday
I'm
finding it hard to believe
We're in heaven
I can visit you in heaven, okay?
And
love is all that I need
And I've found it there in your heart
It
isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven
It's time
for me to go bed now
I sleep with the light on
Just in case you
come home
And kiss me good night
I love you so much
I miss
you Daddy
End
February 4, 2005