Tomura and Izuku lay sprawled on the bar floor next to each other, giggling as they stuffed cookies into their mouths. Kurogiri swept his broom across the wooden boards, stopping as he reached the two boys, aged eleven and six respectively. Raising an eyebrow, the Nomu asked, "What are you two up to?"

"Mischief!" Izuku declared proudly. He quickly swallowed the last bit of cookie and licked the crumbs off his lips. Mmm, Kurogiri's oatmeal raisin cookies were the best! Izuku always had great fun when his father brought him to visit Uncle Kurogiri and Big Brother Tomura. Dad insisted that these visits remain a strict secret from Mom, especially the way everyone at the bar referred to Dad as "sensei" or "All for One." Izuku would never tell, because then the visits would stop. He didn't have any friends, but Big Brother Tomura treated him like a best friend despite being five years older. Izuku couldn't possibly give that up.

Kurogiri sighed. "Most children wouldn't be so proud of theft. You two are a pair of gremlins."

Tomura half-sat up, propped up by his elbow. "Sensei ordered us to commit five crimes today. So by stealing your cookies, we're actually being good."

"Oh?" Kurogiri snorted. "I have an extra order for you: let all your crimes be against Sensei, and not my innocent bar. Obey my order, or I won't cook dinner for you tonight." Muttering under his breath, he swept off.

Tomura slumped back to the floor, moaning. "We're doomed! I can't eat Sensei's cooking, I just can't. It's poison." He looked at the last bit of cookie in his hand, then swallowed it down like a marooned sailor gulping down the last bit of water. "I guess this will be all the food I get tonight."

"Hmm, maybe Uncle Kurogiri is right." Izuku rolled over to look his big brother in the eye. "Instead of committing easy crimes, we should do hard ones! Uncle Kurogiri is easy. Dad would be hard."

Tomura crossed his arms. "Easy for you to say. Dad lets you get away with anything because you're the baby. I'll get in so much trouble!"

Izuku wheedled, "I'll take the blame, I promise."

Tomura grunted.

Izuku asked, "Which is worse, being punished by Dad or eating his cooking?"

Tomura shuddered. "I'm in. What's our first crime?"

Despite his young age, Izuku was the designated evil mastermind. Izuku tapped his fingers on the floor as he mumbled to himself. "What's most important to Dad? Ah-ha! His suits!"

Tomura gasped. "Not the suits!"

"We won't hurt them, just steal them." Izuku's eyes lit up with inspiration. "The suits will be held hostage until we receive…more cookies!"

"How about video games?" Tomura asked. "I'm already full."

Izuku could never have enough cookies, but he conceded to his co-conspirator. "Cookies for me and video games for you."

The two boys high-fived, then scurried away.

Kurogiri found the two children sitting at his bar with glass tumblers in front of them. He leapt forward, sweeping away the glasses. "You are both far too young to drink!" He sniffed the clear liquid. "This is just water." Exhaling, Kurogiri set the tumblers back down. "Never mind. How did you two get into my cabinet?"

Izuku giggled. "That was our third crime!"

"What was your second crime?" Kurogiri asked suspiciously. He double-took at the boy's appearances. Both of them had red-and-gray striped ties fastened around their heads. "Oh, no. Did you two get into Sensei's suits?"

Izuku shrugged. "Dad never uses his ties anyway, and we needed cool headbands."

Tomura said, "The suits are safe as long as our demands are met." Both boys giggled.

Muttering about how that was someone else's problem, Kurogiri left to fix the lock on his cabinet.

Swirling around his glass in what he imagined to be an adult way, Izuku said, "For crime number four, All Might is appearing at a convention in town and we could steal his autograph—"

"No," Tomura said.

"Let me finish." Izuku pouted. "Eraserhead is at the convention too."

"Oh?" Tomura's eyes lit up. No matter how much Tomura might rant about hating all heroes, Izuku knew that his big brother had a room full of Eraserhead merch.

"Eraserhead is a less heavily guarded target. We might be able to steal his scarf, or his goggles. Or maybe even Eraserhead himself." Izuku's eyes gleamed. He had dreams of kidnapping his own All Might someday, but he knew that feat was outside his capabilities—for now. Eraserhead was also a very cool hero and would make good practice.

"Deal," Tomura said.

The children had been quiet for several hours. This made Kurogiri worried. He'd searched all over the bar without finding a trace. He was nearly ready to call Sensei—or worse, Sensei's wife—when he heard giggling outside.

Kurogiri opened the front door. He was very relieved to see Izuku and Tomura heading down the sidewalk, dragging a yellow sleeping bag after them. The stuffed bag had been fastened several times over with ropes. Kurogiri's relief dissipated as the bag squirmed and gave a muffled "oomph!"

Closing his eyes, Kurogiri counted to ten. Then he demanded, "What do you two have there?"

Izuku held up a piece of paper. "I have stolen All Might's autograph for crime number four!"

With a raised eyebrow, Kurogiri pointed at the squirming bag. "Is that crime number five?"

Tomura wore a pair of oversized goggles on top of his tie headband. He grinned. "You know how I've been begging for a pet?"

Feeling genuinely guilty, Kurogiri sighed. "Tomura, if it was up to me, I'd let you have a corgi, but Sensei said no."

The sleeping bag thrashed on the ground and growled deep and low.

Kurogiri frowned. "That didn't sound like a dog's growl." He marched over and zipped down the front of the bag.

Angry glowing eyes belonging to Shouta Aizawa gazed back at him. Erasure destroyed the shadows around Kurogiri's face. Aizawa's angry expression turned to shock. "Oboro?" he whispered.

Hearing that name triggered something deep inside Kurogiri, starting a complete meltdown. He stared off into space, muttering. While Kurogiri was still stunned, Aizawa leapt out of the sleeping bag, threw Kurogiri over his shoulder, and ran.

All for One returned to find two boys with ties around their foreheads, both sitting on the bar floor and twiddling their thumbs. Their expressions looked worried.

"Were the crimes not successful?" All for One asked, ready to launch into a lecture about villainy. He loved lectures.

Tomura fiddled with his gloves. "Maybe a little too successful."

"We went out for the wool and came home shorn," Izuku said sadly in the tone of someone who did not fully understand the meaning of his own aphorism but knew he was in trouble.

All for One chuckled and shook his head. "What happened?"

Tomura said, "Kidnapping Eraserhead went exactly as planned. After we caught the stray cat, it was easy from there."

"Is Eraserhead here?" All for One smirked. He would love to get his hands on that quirk.

"That's the problem," Izuku said. "Eraserhead ran away, and, uh…he took Kurogiri with him. I thought Kurogiri would warp back soon, but he hasn't. Maybe we made him angry when we broke into his cabinet to steal tumblers?"

All for One paled upon realizing that his undead taxi had vanished into the clutches of the heroes.

Tomura held up a pair of goggles. "In the good news, I got Eraserhead's goggles!"

Author's Note: Kurogiri teleported over the next day to pick up Tomura to come live with him, Aizawa, Yamada, and their new corgi. Since Tomura was the one who hid the suits, All for One never got them back.

This is fic is a prize for One for All October, for acanfullofspiders. Thank you to acanfullofspiders for the prompt and McFaneLy for brainstorming with me.