Author's Note: This is my first FFIX fic. Please be kind! This takes place after the end of the game, with no real reference to any events in the game itself. Anyway, this was a random ficlet idea me and my friends came up with while I was writing a guide. It's pure silliness, and it may not even be good, but I kinda like it.

Total Time Taken to Write: Less than 1 hour. (New record for me!)

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing here. You people should know that by now-sigh-

Zidane and the Yellow Scarf
by Judanim

Zidane Tribal walked out of Torres's Synthesis Shop in Lindblum and admired the Yellow Scarf that had been forged inside. It's so pretty, he thought rather randomly. With a strange grin he put it around his neck and walked off through the Business District. By the time he'd reached the air cab terminal not too far from Hunter's Gate, many people were staring at him. He didn't care, though. He liked wearing his new Yellow Scarf, and if people were going to stare at him, well then they could just continue to stare. He boarded an air cab and headed over to the Theater District to raid gil from Tantalus's hideout.

After that was done, he walked down to the theater to see Lowell Bridges giving a press conference. Oddly enough, Dagger and Steiner were there as well. This confused Zidane, because he thought that old Sir Rustalot was still in Alexandria, but he shrugged it off. He just figured it was some writer's plot device or something. Once all the fans had cleared out, the thief sauntered up to Lowell, throwing one end of his pretty new scarf over his shoulder.

"Well, if it isn't the 'masculine' Lowell," Zidane remarked.

Lowell raised an eyebrow, watching him. He said nothing, however.

The thief continued on his rant. "I've got ten gil that says that I'm more masculine than you." He punctuated this statement by pointing the loose end of his scarf at the actor.

"You do mean more gay, don't you?" Lowell asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Zidane looked startled. "Uh, gay? No, no, you've got it all wrong. I'm straight. I love girls, especially Dagger here." He threw his arm around the nearest person, which he assumed to be Dagger herself. "Yeah. You're nuts if you think that I'm gay."

"Then why do you love a guy?" the actor posed, trying to contain his laughter.

With a bemused expression, the thief stared at Lowell. Then, after a long and uncomfortable pause, Zidane slowly turned and looked at the person he'd thrown his arm around. Instead of it being the lovely Dagger, it was a confused and totally not amused Steiner. He jumped back and gave a nervous smile to all those around him. He tried to back away, but Dagger's stare froze him in place.

"Zidane, you had better tell me this is all one sick joke," she said. Her brown eyes were blazing with anger.

"Oh crap," were the two words he muttered before turning around and running at full speed up the stairs. He just hoped he reached the air cab station before she did.

Dagger was just as fast following him up. In fact, she was right on his heels. This left Steiner and Lowell alone in front of the theater with an uncomfortable pause between them.

"So...are you gay?" the actor asked, a weird gleam in his eye.

Steiner's eyes widened. "Wait for me!" he yelled, running up the stairs with all possible speed his heavy, smelly, and rusty armor could give him.

Lowell watched them, snickering. Well, that was one way to get rid of a crowd.

THE END