Spike's Series of Unfortunate events
Disclaimer: Joss W. owns everything, I own nothing. What a pity.
We were chased back to my crypt. I slung the door open and Angel ran in behind me slamming it. I ran over and grabbed two swords, throwing one to Angel.
"This is all your fault mate" I yelled at him. He looked at me with annoyance.
"My fault? How?" he questioned as we both readied for the demons to burst through the door.
"Your a bleeding bad luck charm." I said blankly as I stared at the door. Nothing they weren't coming in. I cautiously approached the door while Angel just stood there, I think he was to terrified to move. I swung the door open violently and looked around. They weren't there. I motioned for Angel to follow me out the door and he did.
"They're gone." He said in astonishment. I wasn't so sure. We both looked around cautiously holding our weapons firm. Suddenly they jumped out of nowhere it seemed, and we were back in the battle. Our swords clanked against their red armored skin.
We fought them back to back. I took a swing at a demon's head and cutting it clean off. It fell to the ground with a thump and turned into slime, it seeped up into the earth.
The other demons took a step back. They started to chant in some demon language. I'd never seen these demons before, not in my entire unlife, nothing like them. Their bodies covered in blood red armor, their faces all slightly different but with the same boned pattern on their forehead and a single horn from their brow. Their eye's glowed blue. I was breathing heavily, this wasn't going to be an easy fight.
They attacked again. Angel went flying into the air and I couldn't help but laugh at him. Which got me caught off guard and knocked to the ground. The demon went to move on top of me, I guess to kill me. I didn't give the bugger a chance, I cut his head clean off. Looking over at Angel I saw him kill one.
I got up covered in goo from the creature. I started wiping my eyes and spitting. I looked up at the sky.
"Bloody hell! Perfect" I swung at another demon, I missed. Angel killed another one. The rest began to retreat. I chased after them.
"Hey I'm not finished with you." I said as I chased after them.
"Spike let them go. We can't take all of them." Angel yelled from behind. I stopped dead in my tracks, and lit up a cigarette.
"Bollocks." I cursed. Then I turned back to Angel and started walking toward him. He had his hands on his knees, he had a slight wound on his shoulder.
"One of the big nasties get you?" I said but before he could answer I interrupted. "Might want to go have your bird patch you up." I laughed and he snarled a bit.
"I'm sure that's what the powers were talking about. I can't stand you any longer. I'm headed back to Los Angeles now." he turned to walk away dropping my sword on the ground as he disappeared into the night. I laughed and said to myself. 'Bloody ponce, glad he's gone.' . I took a draw from my cigarette and picked up my sword. Taking both of them back inside I tossed them down and sat on my chair. I must have dosed off cause when I came too Buffy was standing over me.
"Spike!" she yelled and I jolted to consciousnes.
"What slayer?" I said in annoyance. I didn't want her to be around. Still feeling odd about the dream. I had dismissed it thinking maybe it was just one of those things that your mind makes up to torment you.
"Spike you were suppose to help me tonight. Where were you?" she demanded of me. I wanted to lie, but I felt compelled to tell the truth.
"I fought some demons with Angel." I blurted out before I could stop myself. I looked down and thought 'oh bollocks please don't tell me I've been cursed'. I looked back up at Buffy and she looked hurt.
"Angel was here?" she said in a sudden small voice. Again I couldn't bite my tongue.
"Yes." 'damn it' I thought. Buffy gave me a quizzical look.
"Are you lying to me Blondie?" she put her hands on her hips she was mad again.
"No, not lying. Speaking only the truth here." I blurted it out and then bit my tongue. Oh this was just perfect. I squirmed in my chair. I could already tell I was under some kind of spell our something. Probably what those red demon blokes were going on about.
"Sure Spike. You're just trying to get under my skin some more." She said as she headed toward the door. I got up and turned.
"Buffy wait." I pleaded. "I am telling the truth." She looked at me and rolled her eyes. She opened the door and I followed behind her.
"Spike go home" she told me angrily. I kept persisting.
"Slayer I think something is up, those demons, I got some of their blood or goo or whatever it soddin' was all over me. Now I can't lie.. I just tried. And they were chanting something and I'm rambling." I looked down at the ground. Buffy whirled around. She gave another questioning look. I felt small and belittled suddenly under her concentrated gaze.
"Really?" she asked. Her head was cocked to the side. I thought to myself. 'when am I ever going to learn to keep my mouth shut.' then I spoke to her.
"Yes really." it annoyed me. I knew she was going to try and test me now. I could see the wheels of her mind turning, and I was starting to feel extremely uncomfortable.
"Okay then, if your not lying," I think she noticed where I had previously been staring. "What were you just staring at?" My eyes bulged and my mouth dropped open. I fought it, no way I was going to say that.
"Your breasts." Ouch, I flinched at the sound of my voice confessing this to her. She just gave me the 'I knew it' look. I thought to myself 'oh balls, could my unlife get any worse.' Just then she started to laugh.
"Oh I'm going to have so much fun with this." she laughed at me. I turned and started walking away.
"Spike where are you going?" She was almost on the ground rolling with laughter.
"Home" I growled. I kept walking and this time she was following me. I opened the crypt door slamming it in her face. She opened it and came in behind me. She'd stopped laughing apparently she was coming up with her next siring question. I wasn't in the mood to be trifled with.
"Leave slayer, I'm not in the mood." I said as I lit another cigarette and sat in my chair, now I was chain smoking and nervous. I knew she could ask anything and I had to answer it truthfully.
"Who's the last person you would want to find out about this?" I rolled my eyes I knew what she was fishing for now. 'oh balls' I thought as I tried to keep from answering the question. I threw my hands over my mouth, but still I spoke.
"Xander Harris" She laughed at me, still being able to make out what I said. I removed my hand from my mouth to fully reveal the most evil look. I took a draw from my cigarette.
"Oh this is just to delicious Spike," She said and I growled at her. "You can't do anything about it, and we can torment you as much as we want. So why don't you want Xander in on this?" Again I tried to refrain.
"He'll have the most fun out of me, I'd wager." I said as I rolled my eyes, remembering all the times I had tortured Xander while staying in his basement. Buffy let out a little laugh, but I think she'd already laughed enough to make her stomach hurt. I looked at her honestly.
"Slayer I need your help. I can't go on like this it could be dangerous." She looked at me suddenly. Shooting me eyes of true question once again.
"Dangerous how?" she said.. and again, at the drop of a hat I answered truthfully.
"All the things I know about you and yours, I get a lot of questions from a lot of unsavory characters. They ask me a question, I have to be truthful." Buffy's eyes got wide with realization. She headed toward the door.
"I am not letting you out of my sight. Let's get to Giles and get to the bottom of this." Suddenly I felt relieved. 'Maybe sometimes it is best to tell the truth.' I thought to myself as I followed her out of the crypt, it was going to be sunrise soon.
As we walked she had more fun out of me. What I said and what she asked though, I'm not telling you. Bloody embarrassing it was. So I'd rather not just blurt it out. I'm not under the bloody curse anymore.
So we got to Giles' place and Buffy told him what was going on. I don't think the watcher has ever laughed so hard in his life. I felt so mad, I had had enough, I jumped at the watcher and had to grab my head in pain. I screamed, then just looked at the watcher and growled as he laughed even more.
I sat down on his couch. Suddenly I think the watcher came up with a plan, it just wasn't to help me. While Buffy was on the phone getting the scooby gang over there to laugh at me, Giles began to question me. It was nothing funny or embarrassing, just quizzical information about my life killing slayers. He was paranoid that the watcher's diaries were incorrect or something. I of course answered everything truthfully.
The peace was short lived though. Before long the scooby gang was entering. All of them laughing. I slouched in my seat and mumbled. Giles stood up and went to his demonology books.