Ruminations
by Cynical Chaos
This is dedicated to The Big W who encouraged me to write this second chapter even though I had no intention to do so.
My Disclaimer: I had no intention to write this and I do so only because I can't give up on a challenge.
Standard Disclaimer: Same as last chapter. I do not own NGE. The thoughts, emotions and love triangles that may occur are not those of the creators.
Asuka frowned and sat back. She hadn't expected something like this from someone she considered to be a weak willed, perennially depressed kid who spent most of his time whining about the obvious truths of the world. Well, maybe she expected him to write about his complaints towards life, but it was a shock for her to discover this amount of depth.
Her fingers twitched, and she watched as they picked up a pencil. Yes, she was going to answer, to write something down. Anything. Shinji's words had challenged her and she never backed down from a challenge. So what if she didn't know the kanji very well? She sure as hell wasn't going to write in German. That would be to obvious. Her pencil met the paper. She wrote.
So what if it isn't enough? Who cares? Is there anyone who actually sits down and thinks about the whys and wherefores of human existence? Does anyone really care about destiny? No. That's just the simple answer. Cause, really, everyone's so busy running around working and studying and worrying about dinner and where the next paycheck will come from to care about their destiny. For them, they see dreamers and thinkers as unrealistic. They say, "Look at him. Looking at the stars and totally unworried about the world. What, is he high or something? I don't have time to talk to him! It's a waste of time!" Why do you care whether it's enough to survive? Because that's what everyone does. They survive day after boring day. Some have more exciting jobs. Some don't. All have the capacity, even if they lack the will, to succeed. to prosper.
And living it up? What's wrong with that? Do you even know why people get drunk or high or consume whatever their particular poison happens to be? To forget. To be at peace even for a little while. So what if it"ll kill them? That's a long way off and besides, it feels soooo good.
No one worries about the definition of life, cause they're all to busy living it and finding out for themselves. The best thing to do is stop worrying and start living. Because if all you do is worry, then you'll just wither away. So find something to focus on. A job. A girlfriend. Schoolwork even. Just find something that will give you a reason to exist. Besides, if people you cared for showed you that 'just surviving' wasn't enough, that don't you think that you'll upset them by not doing something about your life? By just sitting around and complaining? So go do something. It doesn't have to be big or flashy. Just something that you want to do. Something that appeals to you. And don't forget to have fun with it.
Asuka smiled. Insight to Shinji, something that took her mind off her cold and a little fun. It would be fun to see Shinji's face. She closed the book and left Shinji's room, went to her's and laid down, smiling.
The door to the condo opened three hours later and Shinji's figure appeared, laden with bags of groceries. He set them down and looked around. Nobody around. He wondered where Asuka was. She should have been around being sick. Maybe she was asleep in her room. And if that was the case, then he wouldn't have to listen to her complaining about being sick or about how long it was taking him to make dinner. He went into his room intending to make another entry into his journal. He stopped. There was something wrong with his room. The journal was shut. He had left it open the night before. He opened it and started. Someone had written something in his diary, just after last night's entry. He sat down and he read.