Jacob had been quiet all morning at Janet's house and had remained quiet during the drive to the base. While the past few days have helped him to adjust to his situation, the real test would be around the military personnel of the SGC, his friend George, and his daughter Sam. And an idiot named Jack O'Neill. Jacob couldn't forget about him, no matter how much he wanted to.
However, Jacob was determined not to have a repeat performance of the Gate Room incident. Per the phone conversation he had with George last night, Jacob gave his word that he would not fly off the handle like that again. He also apolo not fair to you or her."
"You weren't intruding. It was…insightful."
"That it was," he chuckled in agreement, although his reasons were different than hers.
True, Janet had learned more about him. Of course, it was only he allowed herself to learn more about him. It was one way to learn more about her. He discovered she was exactly the kind of woman he imagined. Janet was an intelligent, hardworking woman who loves doing her job. She was loyal to the Air Force and committed to defending the planet Earth. Her sense of humor and temperament matched his. Buack. I'm intruding on your life with your daughter. That's not fair to you or her."
"You weren't intruding. It was…insightful."
"That it was," he chuckled in agreement, although his reasons were different than hers.
True, Janet had learned more about him. Of course, it was only he allowed herself to learn more about him. It was one way to learn more about her. He discovered she was exactly the kind of woman he imagined. Janet was an intelligent, hardworking woman who loves doing her job. She was loyal to the Air Force and committed to defending the planet Earth. Her sense of humor and temperament matched his. But most importantly, he learned that Janet was a woman with a passion for life and a strong devotion to her daughter and friends.
To adopt a child and raise it all on her own spoke volumes of Janet's character as a person.
Jacob found himself liking her because she had quite a few things in common with his late wife. Yet he also found himself attracted to the things that made Janet much different than Allison.
One difference was speeding. Janet was just like him, a speed junky. Allison never drove one mile above the speed limit and hated it when Jacob raced around town. That wouldn't be a problem with Janet the speed demon who drove ten miles above the speed limit everywhere she drove. Jacob couldn't wait to take her for a ride in his Mustang, he knew she was going to love it.
Another difference was music. More specifically Opera, Jazz, Classical. Janet had quite the collection. Jacob tried taking Allison to an opera once. He couldn't believe he married the only woman on the planet who didn't like opera. Janet loved it. La Boheme was her favorite.
Lastly, was that Allison was an excellent cook, Janet was not. Thankfully she was a far better cook than Sam was. Sam seemed destined to burn every morsel of food she put on the stove or in the oven, with cookies being the only exception. No worries though, Jacob could cook. He had to learn to because he had two kids to raise. He even made dinner last night for Janet as a way of saying thank you. She ate every bite of her dinner.
Single Dad meets a single Mom. One a widow, the other divorced. Sounds like a cheesy plot for a television show. Add Selmak and the fact that Cassie's from another world and it sounded like an episode of the X-Files.
He liked Janet. More than he would admit to anyone at the moment. For at the moment he was trapped inside a child's body. He was praying that Dr. Lee's team would figure that damn machine out and be able to reverse the process. Jacob didn't want to think about the idea of having to wait eight years to take Janet out on that date he promised. And he secretly hoped it would be the first of many.
"I'm sure Cassie appreciated you doing her chores," Janet continued. "Although, I still need to talk to her about that. You should never have volunteered! That kid can be so lazy."
"Cassie's not lazy. She would just rather use her energy towards something else…like talking with her friends on the phone," he joked making her laugh. "Anyway, Janet, I needed to do something. I've always been the man of the house and it didn't feel right not doing anything."
"Well, I am grateful you fixed my Explorer. I just didn't have the time to fix the problem."
"Glad to help. Actually having smaller hands really helped! Besides, I couldn't let you drive your beautiful Mustang out in the snow. She's not meant for this kind of weather."
"Precisely why I'm so grateful!" Janet smiled as she pulled the SUV to a stop at the checkpoint.
Jacob held his breath and looked forward out the windshield. Ready or not, it starts now as Janet rolled down her window and showed the guard their security passes.
"Good morning Dr. Fraiser," the guard smiled obviously a regular at the station. "And…oh, Good morning General Carter, Sir!"
"At ease Lieutenant!" Jacob ordered without so much as a glance at the man.
"Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir!" said the young man before quickly handing the passes back to Janet.
As she drove through the opened Gate, Janet chuckled, "I wonder if General Hammond had something to do with that!"
"Knowing George the way I do…he did. I'm going to have a talk with him during our meeting. I don't want people over doing it around me just because I flipped out before."
"Right, because you don't like to be patronized or coddled."
"Damn right!" he smiled. "Janet. When we arrive, I want to proceed on my own. I don't really need an escort. No coddling."
"I understand Jacob," she smiled pulling into her parking spot. "Here's your pass and your security card. Remember, you will have to sign in before proceeding down to the sublevels."
"Yes, Dr. Fraiser. I am well aware of the procedures," he sighed rolling his eyes and feeling like she was sending him off to school.
"Here, General. I made you some coffee for the day and here's a bag of my special blend of coffee grounds so you can make your own coffee pot."
"Thank you," he smiled taking the warm thermos from her and the paper bag.
After getting out of the car and adjusting his winter jacket, Jacob walked towards the facility entrance like the General he was: confident, a little arrogant, and ready to take charge. And as he proceeded down through the mountain, he noticed how all the subordinates quickly stepped aside and saluted him. There were no laughing or snide remarks behind his back about his hair this time.
But Jacob definitely would have to talk with George. The last thing Jacob wanted was for the SGC personnel to be walking on eggshells around him. He didn't want his condition to impact on the soldiers' performances in their duties.
First things first!
Jacob needed to check up on Selmak. He had half a mind to ask George to hook up a video monitor so he could periodically check on her from Janet's house. But didn't because he didn't want them to think he was too paranoid. It was bad enough to be separated from her. And she was defenseless. But Jacob knew George's people could be trusted to care for Selmak and would be able to follow the strict set of guidelines Jacob laid out for them.
"Good morning, General Carter," Dr. Warner smiled after Jacob walked into the infirmary.
"Good morning, Doctor. Your relief will be down shortly. I'm here to check on Selmak."
"Thank you, Sir. If you will excuse me, I'm going to finish my report for Dr. Fraiser. If you need anything, have one of the nurses page me."
"Thank you. I will," Jacob nodded then headed straight to Selmak.
He was barely within two feet of her tank when she started swimming excitedly around.
"Ah…so you missed me! I knew it! All those times you said I was a pain in the ass were just terms of endearment! Thanks, Sel," he smiled as she poked her head out of the tank. "Here, let me scratch that spot that always itches for you! Better? So how have they been treating you?"
Selmak started rattled off a lot of strange combination noises, clicks, and hisses. Jacob couldn't understand a single one of them. He could only guess at what she said.
"So…I guess they never gave you any liquor, did they?"
A slow affirmative nod and long mournful sigh from Selmak confirmed what he suspected.
"Well," he smiled cheerfully.
Taking a good look around the infirmary, his hand went inside his jacket then pulled out a pint of Tequila.
"Look what I've got for you! I swiped it from the doc…"
Selmak spewed off another series of noises at him.
"Don't worry, I'll pay her back! Besides, I didn't think she would give it to me fearing I might drink it myself."
Jacob quickly took the cap off and poured a couple of drops into the tank. Selmak was quick to guzzle them up then come up for more.
"No, sorry girl. I have to ration this! Who knows how long…"
Selmak whipped her tail flinging some liquid from the tank at him.
"Ok! Ok! Calm down…just one more drink!"
He made sure it was a long one just to pacify her.
"Like I was saying, who knows how long we'll be stuck like this. So, only a few drops a day. No bingeing."
Selmak suddenly leapt out of her tank onto his shoulder. If it had been any other symbiote Jacob would have been startled. But she was just saying thank you by rubbing her head against his cheek. Or she was trying to weasel her way to the bottle. It was hard to tell because they couldn't communicate clearly to each other. But her head was leaning towards the bottle.
"Selmak…you should get back in the tank. This is kind of ridiculous," he insisted, whereupon he quickly received a swift wet smack on the back of his head from her tail. "OW! You little shit!"
Another hard wet smack!
Before he could grab her, Selmak dove back into the tank. And when she surfaced she spit some of the tank's liquid at him.
"I'm sorry…here, have another drink! How about straight this time," he smiled and poured some Tequila into the bottle cap.
When he held the top for her, Selmak snatched it from him.
"Hey! Give that back! Do you want me to get into trouble?" he hissed.
"Jacob?"
"Oh! Shit!" he whispered then quickly turning around while keeping his hands behind his back. "Dr. Fraiser…you got down here awfully fast!"
"I wasn't that far behind. How's Selm…what the hell does she have in her mouth? And why does it smell like Tequila around here?"
Jacob's head drooped and he slowly showed her the bottle.
"I was going to pay you back."
"Jacob, I thought you…"
"It's not for me…it's for Selmak!"
"Selmak?" Janet questioned taking the bottle from his hand.
It happened so fast, Jacob didn't even have time to react. From the corner of his eye, he saw Selmak's head pop out from beneath the liquid. A stream was sent right at Janet's face. Before Jacob could grab the bottle, Selmak already had latched onto it and pulled it back into the tank.
"Shit! Selmak…you know that's too much," Jacob moaned watching Selmak sink to the bottom of her tank with the bottle. "You'll sleep the entire day away now!"
Selmak was very pleased with herself and did a few victory laps and whirls around the tank. All Jacob could do was smile and shake his head.
"Janet…no," Jacob firmly said, quickly grabbing her hand. "Unless you want to lose a finger or two, I suggest you let her keep the bottle. I'll come back later and take it out."
"Ok…but…"
"I'll explain later," he said waving his hand. "Right now, I have to go see Sammy."
"Sammy?"
"That's what I called her until she was in high school," he grinned.
"Really, according to Sam, you like to call her that just to embarrass her from time to time!"
"What are fathers for?" he shrugged.
Jack was pushing the Fruit Loops around the bowl as he waited for an answer to his question. Looking at them wasn't making him feel any better. Normally, having Fruit Loops meant he was going to have a good day. Only not today. And the Fruit Loops were too soggy to eat now anyway.
"You didn't answer me…do you think anyone notices?" Jack asked more insistently.
"Jack, you've been asking that same question over and over, ever since Selmak bit you," Daniel replied as he cut his waffles. "For the hundredth time. Of course, everyone can see that your nose is black and blue! What did you expect?"
"Well, how bad does it look today?" Jack asked crossing his big brown eyes, trying to look.
Daniel took a long look. A long suffering look that told Jack the good Dr. Jackson was just humoring him.
Jack rolled his eyes, unable to hide his annoyance.
"I think maybe your nose is more a shade of blue than black today. Don't you agree Sam?"
Jack let out a frustrated sigh.
"Sir, you wouldn't be nervous about Dad returning, would you?" Carter asked with that quirky smile of hers before taking a bite of her muffin.
"Well, let me see…First I took his coffee before I even knew he was your Dad. I made a crack about his hair. I called him a runt! I solved nothing by getting changed into a kid myself. And oh…saving the best for last I damn near killed his symbiote! So yeah…I'm a little nervous! You and I both know Jacob can kick my ass anytime he pleases..." he paused looking at his watch. "Let's see…T-minus 10 minutes until my ass is toast!"
"Then, why don't you go into hiding?" Daniel giggled. "I'm sure you can convince Siler to stash you somewhere. Maybe Walt could sneak you through the Gate!"
"Great idea, Daniel! How about this one, I use you as a human shield!" Jack snapped, slamming the table.
"Sir!" Carter protested when his bowl of soggy Fruit Loops flew all over her.
"Shit! Sorry, Carter," Jack said grabbing a napkin in an attempt to clean up the mess.
"Jack…."
"Daniel…shut up. I'm busy."
"Ah…Jack…"
"Daniel, don't worry, I'm not going to use you as a human shield. You would be useless, you GEEK! I can hear you whining 'Jake, don't hit me! Jake, don't hit me!'" Jack snapped.
"If that's how you feel, maybe I should shout: HIT HIM, JAKE!" Daniel yelled.
Jack turned to glare at Daniel only to see Jacob behind the nerd. Jack froze.
Jacob was standing there with his arms crossed. He looked pissed. Jack could literally see steam coming from Jacob's ears. They were even a nice shade of red. And no longer covered by his hair.
"Nice hair cut…back to basic training with that style?" Jack said, trying not to sound too nervous. "Thinking of doing that myself."
"Just what the hell do you think you're doing? Get your fucking hands off my daughter!" Jacob barked.
Jack glanced to see his hand was still wiping the milk from Carter's shirt. Looking back at Jacob, he saw the guy's neck veins were fully distended. That was a bad sign.
"ANSWER ME!" Jacob roared.
Distended neck veins were a VERY bad sign.
"It's not what you're thinking, Jacob," Jack said, quickly dropping the napkin then stepping away from Carter.
"And just what the hell am I supposed to be thinking? I walk in and you have your hands on my daughter!"
"Dad…"
"Has he made advances at you before? Looks like it from the bruise on his nose! Still sorry that your old man taught you how to defend yourself against assholes, Sammy?" Jacob asked.
"For your information, Jacob, I never touched your daughter! Except after I spilled my bowl of cereal on her. But the point is, I have no intention of ever touching your daughter in that way! Or in anyway…well maybe a handshake. But that's it! I swear!"
Jacob didn't appear satisfied.
"It wasn't Sam that bit Jack's nose, it was Selmak!" Daniel quickly added.
'Shit! Why did you say that?' Jack thought to himself as he instinctively took a step back while shooting an evil glare at the uncaring, ungrateful Daniel Jackson, who as far as Jack was concerned was no longer on his Christmas card list!
Jacob took a step closer towards Jack.
"What did he say?" Jacob asked narrowing his eyes at Jack.
"It was an accident," Jack replied, retreating back a few more steps.
"WHAT?" Jacob roared following Jack.
"I didn't mean for it to happen," Jack tried to explain.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO SELMAK?"
"I…she…the tank…" Jack jabbered, unsure exactly how to explain it all to Jacob. Visions of Selmak flying through the air were only going to piss Jacob off even more.
"Jack accidentally knocked Selmak's tank over. She fell out; Jack tossed her around like she was a hot lump of coal for a bit. Sam fixed Selmak right up, and made sure she was safely back in the tank," Daniel explained quickly.
"Thanks a lot Daniel…some friend you jackass! You better make the funeral arrangements!" Jack yelled at him. "Why don't you tell Jacob how we were all joking and laughing about the fact that he has a female symbiote!"
It happened so fast. Jack was suddenly staring up at the ceiling, his nose was bleeding, and his eyes were watering. For a scrawny kid, Jacob was fast and strong! But Jack wasn't a quitter; it was that Irish blood in him that wouldn't let him give up.
As Jack fought back, he could hear Carter and Daniel protesting along with the furniture getting knocked around. Well, Carter was doing all the protesting and pleading for them to stop. Jack thought he actually heard Daniel cheering Jacob on. The way he just ratted Jack out he wouldn't put it past the archaeologist.
Jack's own pleas for Jacob to stop were blatantly ignored then quickly silenced when Jacob rammed his knee into Jack's stomach, knocking the breath out of him.
Gasping for air Jack was at Jacob's mercy. Being the kind of man who takes advantage when it's there, Jacob did just that. Jack had his face pressed against the concrete floor, while Jacob was twisting Jack's arm behind his back. Jack couldn't move. One false move and his arm would snap.
"Jacob, I'm sorry!" Jack yelled tasting the blood in his mouth.
"Dad!"
"Don't worry Sammy! I'm not going to hurt him…much," Jacob snickered.
"Dad, let him go," Carter insisted.
"Yeah, come on, Dad! Let me go!" Jack pleaded.
"First of all, I'm not your father. Second, you're damn lucky I'm not because I would have tanned your hide so bad you wouldn't be able to sit for a month!"
"Jacob! What the hell do you think you're doing?" Hammond bellowed in that Texas drawl of his that seemed a little thicker whenever he was pissed. Jack ought to know, as he's heard it often. "You haven't even been here for one hour and you're already picking fights!"
Jack was free after Jacob released his hold and slowly got to his feet.
"Well, it wouldn't have happened if you had told me that the moron here nearly killed Selmak!" Jacob snapped. "Selmak is my responsibility, you should have told me, George!"
"Jacob, the damage was done. There was nothing you could do. And I was going to tell you during our meeting this morning," Hammond explained.
Jack stood there and listened to the two friends arguing back and forth. No one seemed to care that Jack's nose was bleeding all over his T-shirt. At least it was black. Jacob seemed to have the good sense to help Fraiser pick them all clothes similar to their uniforms. Black T-shirts with dark green cargo pants. And black hiking boots. Too bad she picked the wrong brand of underwear, Jack liked his Fruit of the Looms. All other brands and he was pulling them out of his butt every few minutes.
But Jacob was being an ass. In Jack's mind anyway. Maybe Hammond was right, maybe being younger made Jack stupid.
"Who gives a fuck?" he whispered, before he then punched Jacob squared on his left eye catching him off guard.
But Jacob was quick to recover. Only his attack was stopped when Hammond grabbed him by the back of his shirt. Jack got one more good sucker punch to Jacob's gut before Hammond held Jack back by the scruff of his shirt too. Then to Jack's amazement, he looked down to see both his and Jacob's feet were off the ground.
'Shit! I knew dear old George was strong but, fuck, I didn't know he was that strong!' Jack thought to himself.
"What the HELL has gotten into the both of you? You're acting like children! Shit! I don't know whether to whip you butts or send you to your rooms? Do I need to lock you both in the brig?"
"No, Sir," Jack replied glaring at Jacob who was glaring right back.
"Jack, I want you to go to the infirmary. Dr. Jackson will escort you there. Jacob you're coming with me. I'm not asking people, I'm telling you!"
"Fine!" Jacob grumbled. "You can put me down now George. I give you my word that I'm done."
"Very well," Hammond sighed, setting Jacob back on his feet.
Jacob quickly straightened his shirt, tucking it pack into his pants, while he gave Jack a piss inducing glare, then went to Carter.
"Sorry, Sammy," he said giving her a hug. "I missed you. How have you been?"
"Shouldn't…" Jack started to ask.
"Jack, shut it," Hammond growled. "Jacob, head up to my office. Major, make sure he gets there."
"Yes, Sir," she smiled.
"Let's go Sammy," Jacob smiled taking her arm in his. "Hey, Jack…while you're in the infirmary. Why don't you apologize to Selmak? Just don't get your face too close, she might go for your eyeball!"
"Hey, Jacob!" Jack called.
He waited for Jacob to turn around then flipped him the bird.
"Nice form Jack…I got one for you too!" Jacob countered, pointing two fingers on one hand at his eyes, then pointed them at Jack.
"What did that mean?" Daniel asked after Jacob and Carter left.
"He's watching me," Jack explained. "You can put me down, Sir."
"Should I, Jack?" Hammond growled making Jack feel like he was a ten year old kid.
"Jacob started it!" he whined.
"I don't give a rat's ass who started it! You are a member of the SGC and the leader of SG-1, start acting like it!"
"Yes, Sir," Jack sighed as Hammond finally set Jack down.
Diary of Dr. Daniel Jackson
Day One
Jacob's first day back! He was not a happy camper. One, about Jack with his hands on Sam and two, because of Jack damn near killing Selmak. True, I spilled the beans but Jacob was going to find out sooner or later. Better that Jack get the crap beat out of him at one time rather than multiple times through the day. Just to be safe, I made sure I stayed away from Jack for the remainder of the day so he couldn't use me as a human shield.
Round one…Jacob by a knockout!
At least Jack now had two black eyes to go with his black and blue nose. Still, he did land one…make that two good cheap shots on Jacob. I highly doubt Jacob will allow that to happen again.
Or Hammond either. He was in full father mode when he held the 'boys' off the ground. It took all my will not to laugh at Jacob and Jack dangling from Hammond's hands. I really thought he was going to bash their heads together a few times. God knows they needed some sense knocked into them. They were behaving like children!
Note to self: If I ever become an adult again, I will NEVER get General Hammond mad at me.
Second note to self: That's WHEN not IF!
While escorting Jack to the infirmary, I tried to apologize to him. But he just raised his hand at me to shut up. Oh well, its not the first time he's been pissed at me. I'm sure it won't be the last time either.
Janet seemed awfully chipper this morning. More so than usual. While Jack was packing ice on his swollen nose, I asked why she was so happy. She just laughed at me.
Women…I just don't understand them sometimes. With Shar're it was simple. Her people were simple. Love should be simple. I tried explaining that to Jack one day…what a disaster. One would think with as simple as he likes to keep things he would get it.
Maybe another time.
The rest of the day Hammond ordered us to our separate rooms. Of course the little General refused. Hammond threw his hands in the air as Jacob stormed off towards the infirmary to visit Selmak. At least, he finally accepted his situation. We all did. And now we were going to be stuck like this for a month….at least.
This is going to be interesting. I'm curious to see how long Jacob and Jack will be at each other's throats before they realize how alike they are?
Day Five/Six
IT HAPPENED! Only the whole thing started yesterday morning. Yesterday's chaos made me forget about my writing. I was too busy talking with Sam about what had happened to write it all down.
Jack and Jacob got into a huge fight yesterday morning. I think the realization that we were going to be stuck like this for awhile finally set in. Jack started teasing Jacob about Selmak. Big mistake!
I broke my glasses trying to separate them. They broke the table, the chairs. The breakfast food went flying everywhere.
What a fucking mess! I was just so glad Sam wasn't there to witness the chaos.
They left me with no choice. I had to tell Hammond. I was afraid they were going to kill each other.
Hammond, who had been slipping further and further into father mode when dealing with boys, came storming in with two of the biggest Special Forces guys on base. These guys were huge! All muscles.
Jack and Jacob were in full swing at each other when they were yanked off their feet. Surprised and stunned, they were each draped over one man's shoulder like sacks of potatoes. After which, and apparently per Hammond's orders, the SFs carried Jack and Jacob to the jail cells…the ones with bars!
Too bad I wasn't allowed in the room. I didn't need to be to hear Hammond's voice thundering through the wall. I never knew Hammond was capable of speaking such obscenities. I swear, my ears were burning. He always seemed so mild mannered, like a teddy bear.
He left them there. All day! No breakfast! No lunch! No dinner! What I heard from the guards, Jacob and Jack spent the night in those cells.
I didn't see them until this morning. Both looked a little tired. Both a little battered and bruised. And both actually having a civilized conversation with each other.
Sam and I had to do a double take to make sure we were in the right room. I mean, they were actually joking with each other. Jack made fun of Jacob's symbiote being a girl, without Jacob teeing off on Jack. Then Jacob made a crack about Selmak, yes about his own personal snakehead, being a little lush, which made Jack laugh so hard he had tears in his eyes. Then Jacob asked Jack to not talk about Selmak like that anymore. He asked, no yelling, no hair pulling…well, there was no hair to pull since they both had their hair buzzed down.
They were…nice to each other.
Obviously, something transpired between them in their jail cells. What I would have given to be the fly on those bars. Perhaps, in time, I will learn what made them change.
Then again, maybe not. As the day progressed, I noticed the two were redirecting their antics…towards ME!
Day Nine
For once, nothing happened today. That was only because the Tok'ra made a collect call to Earth, demanding to speak with Selmak…at three in the morning. Luckily we had those little gadgets that made a normal human sound like a Goa'uld. And thus, Jacob was able to bullshit his way through the conversation.
While I didn't witness any of this, I did hear this rumor that the night CO had to carry Jacob from the Control Room back to his quarters because he fell asleep as the Tok'ra disengaged their communications. When I questioned Jacob, he couldn't recall ever talking with the Tok'ra in the middle of the night.
Dear God, I hope they're still our allies! Who knows what Jacob actually told them?
But the disturbance in his sleep, whether he remembered or not, caused Jacob to sleep the entire morning away. He wasn't very energetic during the afternoon and spent most of his time in the infirmary visiting Selmak, he claimed. (He seemed to be spending a lot of time in the infirmary lately.)
As a result, Jack was bored and I refused to go along with his antics. He pouted by staying in his room all day playing video games. He even ate his dinner in his room. Sam and I were the only ones in the recreation room for dinner. I never saw Jacob after he left for the infirmary.
Day Ten
Jacob and Jack continue to harass me. I don't take it personally; I've been through it before. At least they're not fighting anymore. Jack relinquished command of the group to Jacob…well Jacob actually just started giving us all orders and we all started following them.
"Eat your peas Danny boy! They're good for you!"
Honestly, I hate peas. But I forced myself to eat them for fear that Jack would hold me down while Jacob spoon fed me. As it was, Jacob literally put a spoonful of peas in Sam's mouth
I guess she didn't like peas either.
I used hide mine in my milk. Put them in my mouth, then pretend to take a drink of my milk, only to let them out into my milk. Of course, that only lasts for so long before they're telling you to drink your milk up.
I tried the same trick on Jacob, hoping to fool him. No deal! Sam must have pulled the same stunt! I had the glass half-full of peas and just enough milk to cover them when Jacob made me drink the glass down in one shot. He even had this evil grin when he ordered me to 'drink the damn milk'!
Damn near choked. More than milk came out my nose!
But Jacob and Jack have actually bonded! Hence me being the butt of their jokes. They've been acting…hah…they've been acting like kids!
They continually drive Hammond nuts but at least he's not having a coronary each time. I saw him shaking his head and laughing when Davis walked to the infirmary with his coffee cup glued to his hand. I must admit, that was funny.
They wouldn't try that with my pen…would they?
FUCK!
My Diary TOO!
SHIT!
Day FifteenI now know why the boys have bonded and have become…brothers…I guess you could say that. They've been protective of each other, bickering from time to time, and oh yeah, continually trip me, knock me down in the snow, dog pile on me…you name it they do it. They even took my towel and clothes when I was taking a shower! I waited half an hour before someone finally came in and was able to loan me their towel.
Thank God Jacob gave Janet some money to buy them some toys. They really needed to redirect that rambunctious behavior of theirs. Hammond was fine with the idea, until they broke the windshield of his car with a baseball. He finally confiscated both the bat and the ball just yesterday.
At least they still have the football. Can't break anything with that. Or so I thought. Another pair of glasses bit the dust. Janet suggested I take out insurance on them since it was my third pair!
Oh, I know why Jacob's been spending a lot of time in the infirmary now! Seems the little General has a crush on Dr. Fraiser. A HUGE crush!
I wonder if Janet knows Jacob really likes her. I've noticed how gentlemanly he is around her.
"Can I get you another cup of coffee Dr. Fraiser? Oh, I'll get the door for you, Ma'am."
And he always has this dopey grin on his face when he's around her. Jack noticed too. Sam…well Sam seems to be caught up in her work and doesn't notice much of anything.
Anyway, back to what I found out.
I over heard Jack and Jacob talking. Apparently they both had very rough childhoods.
Jacob's mother died when he was only seven. His father turned into a drunk and beat him on a regular basis.
Jack's mother left just before his eight birthday. His father never recovered. He was already a drunk and her leaving only made him drink more and beat on Jack.
Apparently, this was what they talked about…how neither of them had a childhood they wanted to remember. No wonder it was difficult for Jacob. Jack would have had a hard time too, only he was somewhat prepared.
At least now I know why they're acting the way they are. They're making the most of this opportunity by enjoying being kids.
"Operation: Have A Good Time?"
I hope that doesn't mean I get the raw end of the deal.
Shit! I better go now. The little General scares me when I don't follow his orders quickly enough. Thankfully, Jack's there in Jacob's ear telling him that I'm not a soldier. Maybe I shouldn't be grateful; Jacob calls me a geek or nerd more than Jack!
Oh, well…until tomorrow…or perhaps later tonight if I don't end up in the infirmary…this is Danny boy, signing off!
"Jacob, hold up…what are you doing?" Jack asked, running to keep up with Jacob.
"There's fresh snow outside and the sun's out."
"But the elevator is that way and we don't have a security card anymore. Remember, Hammond took all of them away from us after we broke his windshield…again."
"You mean this?" Jacob smiled pulling a security card from his pant pocket. "I swiped it from Commandant George's desk when he was at lunch."
"Excuse me, won't we get…"
"Shut up Daniel!" Jack and Jacob snapped at the same time.
Jacob hurried into Sam's lab, while the other two followed. He marched right up to her and dragged her away from her toys.
"Dad!"
"Get your jackets…we're going on a little adventure in the snow!" Jacob smiled.
"Dad, I'm working on something important!"
"Is it life or death?"
"No."
"Then it's not that important…"
"But…"
"Nope!" Jacob protested putting a hand up. "Don't make me pull rank, Major."
"Ah, I don't have a rank, so may I be excused?" Daniel asked.
"No!" Jacob and Jack said at the same time.
"Come on Sammy, it'll be fun!"
"Dad, I wish you would quit calling me that…I'm not a little girl anymore."
"Sorry kiddo, you'll always be my little girl. Look…for the time being you can call me Jake if it makes you feel better!"
"Fine," she agreed, then followed them.
"Good, everyone get their jackets or whatever else you need for going outside. Meet me outside the commissary in ten minutes. Jack, make sure Danny boy gets his jacket."
"Yes, Sir!" Jack saluted. "Come on Danny boy!"
"What?" Jacob asked seeing Sam smiling at him.
"You're really enjoying this."
"Janet said I should enjoy it while it lasts, I'm just following my doctor's advice. Now hurry, we have less than nine minutes!"
Eight minutes later, Jacob and the others had their jackets on. They were waiting for Jacob's orders. Jacob even noticed that Danny was being well behaved to day.
"Ok, this is Operation: Have A Good Time! Yes, Daniel for you too," Jacob sighed.
"How are we going to have a good time here unless there's jello!" Jack complained.
"Or pie," Sam added.
"Just, follow my lead," Jacob smirked.
The commissary was nearly deserted. Jacob saw Dr. Fraiser reading a book and sipping on a cup of coffee. The cook was cleaning. The coast was clear.
Jacob casually walked to the stack of cafeteria trays, at the start of the service line for food. He grabbed one, then Jack grabbed one, followed by Sam and finally Daniel. Then he slowly headed back to the door.
"Jacob, what are you all doing?" Janet asked startling them.
They froze and of course, they all looked to Jacob.
"Nothing doc…just read your book and drink your coffee," he smiled. "Let's move!"
Jacob ran, followed by the others. They quickly made their way to the elevator. A few minutes later, they were all laughing and running out the back door on the Eastern side of the complex.
"This way!" Jacob ordered running up a trail between the trees.
"Come on Danny!" Jack said pulling Daniel up the mountainside. "I think I know what Jake has in mind! It'll be fun!"
"I hope so," Daniel huffed.
"Jacob, I think this is high enough up the slope!" Jack shouted making Jacob stop.
Actually, Jacob wanted to go higher. The higher up the more speed he would be able to pick up. Next trip then, he decided.
"What was the point of running up a hill with this?" Daniel asked, completely out of breath, while holding up his tray.
"Yeah, Dad, I'm confused too," Sam added.
"You kids, didn't you have any fun in the snow?" Jacob asked.
"Dad, you were never stationed anywhere where there was snow. When we went on vacations it was during the Summer!"
"Sorry, Sammy," he smiled. "This will make up for all that!"
Jacob waved them off the trail before setting the tray down, holding it with his foot.
"I checked out the trails. This one is the best," Jacob explained. "It's straight and the trail is wide."
"Jacob, just get going!" Jack said impatiently.
"Alright," Jacob sighed, rolling his eyes.
Being small was very advantageous in this situation. Jacob was able to sit comfortably on his tray. As he slid down the trail, he heard Jack's hooting and hollering.
Once he reached the bottom, Jacob got to his feet, grabbing his impromptu sled, as Jack came flying down. Sam came next. Followed by Daniel.
"Race you!" Jack shouted pushing Jacob aside.
"Jack, will you never learn!" Jacob shouted back
Jack wasn't nearly as fast as Jacob was. Jacob was always the fasted kid on the block. Helped when he had to run away from his father from time to time.
"See ya!" Jacob cheered as he ran passed Jack.
Already back to their starting point, Jacob threw down his mini-sled and headed back down the trail, passing Sam and Daniel. At the bottom, he barely got to his feet when Jack came crashing into him.
Jacob couldn't remember the last time he laughed so hard after getting knocked down. It had been some time since he had this much fun. He was glad everyone was having fun, even Daniel.
Poor Danny. Jacob has been kind of hard on the kid. Him and Jack both always get carried away when picking on Danny. At least the archaeologist has a good temperament. He's able to laugh at himself without getting to hurt by Jacob and Jack's jokes. Although, Danny tends to run to Hammond quite a bit to tattle on what Jacob and Jack are doing.
Back on his feet and heading up the hill, Jacob paused to see the other three pegging each other with snowballs. Just as well, Jacob wanted to try out his idea of trying to go faster.
Just like his flying. Always faster! Pushing the envelope past the limits! Blasting through the clouds at break neck speeds! Feeling his brains being plastered to the back of the cockpit! The feeling of weightlessness during a barrel roll!
God, Jacob loved to fly! He really missed it!
At first, Sam was a little angry that her Dad insisted she be dragged outside and into the cold snow. However, she was quick to enjoy herself with the others. Her Dad and the Colonel finally got over their childish behavior and stopped fighting. Only to act more like kids than they were before.
Still, Sam enjoyed seeing her father so happy. She honestly can't remember the last time she heard him laugh so much. Or smile so much. He had a bounce in his step when he ran from point A to point B.
And the Colonel right there, a couple of steps behind her father. Sam laughed whenever they were together. She never would have guessed that they would become close friends. And she never would have guessed at how much trouble they could get into!
Hammond was more of a father than a General around the boys. Sam even wondered if Hammond was jealous that her father had a new best friend. A best friend who was a constant pain in General Hammond's behind!
Actually, Sam herself was feeling a little left out. She was the only girl and the boys tended to play too rough. Constantly wrestling for fun to prove their manhood. And Sam thought mankind evolved passed that stage of their development.
Today was fun. She was with them. They were all having a good time.
"Jacob, don't…you're too far up the hill!" O'Neill shouted.
Her father cupped his ear then shrugged his shoulders, signally he couldn't hear a word. Only from the ear to ear grin on his face, Sam knew her father heard perfectly. But that didn't stop him from sitting on his mini-sled.
"YEEE-HAAAWWW!" he screamed as he blasted his way down the trail.
"Did he learn that from Hammond?" the Colonel asked.
"I don't know," she smiled. "They were stationed together for sometime when I was very little. It's possible!"
Her father caught a little air towards the end. When he landed his tray snapped in two and he tumbled a few meters in the snow, laughing the whole time.
"Dad!" Sam exclaimed when he came to a sudden stop.
She and the others rushed to him as he was slowly getting to his feet. Judging by the huge grin and excited look in his eyes he wasn't hurt. Or if he was, he wasn't letting it bother him.
"THAT WAS A BLAST!" he cheered as he picked up his broken mini-sled. "Shit! Sam give me yours!"
"Jacob, you were lucky!" O'Neill said.
Sam was a little surprised. The Colonel was the last person she expected to be the voice of reason in this situation. She would have expected it from her father.
"I'm doing that again! That was fucking fun!" her dad chirped.
"Then don't go so high up the hill!" O'Neill shouted then looked at her. "What?"
"Nothing, Sir," she chuckled.
"Why shouldn't he go so high?" Daniel asked, as the three of them stood and watched Jacob running up the slope.
"These aren't sleds. There's no way to control them!" Jack explained. "Especially, if it gets going too fast!"
"Too fast!" Daniel exclaimed. "Jack, I always imagined you would be the last man on Earth to ever say those words!"
"Funny, Daniel. Real funny," O'Neill said as he narrowed his eyes.
"Sir, my Dad is having fun…"
"Oh, well, it's all good and fun, until someone gets hurt!" he snapped.
As if on queue, Dad lost control like the Colonel said would happen. Sam winced when he hit the tree really hard.
They quickly hurried to her father. He wasn't moving, at all. As they got closer, Sam saw the blood on the snow where he was lying face down.
"Carter, Daniel help me turn him over…gently," the Colonel ordered as he grabbed her father's head.
Once on his back, Sam could see where the blood was coming from. He had a horrible gash across the hairline on his forehead.
"Daniel…go get the Doc! Hurry!" he snapped.
The commissary was quiet when Hammond walked in. It usually was at this time. He liked to have his lunch finished before the main lunch rush arrived.
He made his way through the buffet line trying to pick the healthiest looking food possible, which wasn't always easy here. Still he had to try, Dr. Fraiser was always complaining about his cholesterol levels.
Once his tray was loaded, Hammond headed over to sit with Dr. Fraiser, partly to prove he was eating healthy but mainly because he really needed to talk to her.
"Mind if I join you Dr. Fraiser?" he politely asked.
"No, go ahead, Sir," she smiled brightly.
George often wondered if Dr. Fraiser stood in from of a mirror and brushed each tooth fifty times. Her smile always seemed so bright, no matter what time of the day it was. And she drank more coffee than he did!
"What's troubling you, Sir?" she asked after he settled into his seat.
Damn woman was always so perceptive too!
"Let me guess," she smiled. "Their names are Jacob and Jack."
"I don't know what to do with those two! I've tried confining them to their rooms. I locked them in a jail cell. Hell, I even came close to whipping both their butts with my belt! But didn't because I never believed in hitting a child. I never, ever raised a hand towards my little girls, no matter how much they ticked me off!"
"But the boys are pressing your buttons more than your girls ever did," she stated.
"I don't find this at all amusing doctor!" he snapped when her smile failed to disappear.
"I'm sorry General," she giggled. "Did you really think you could control them?"
"I was expecting them to follow my orders!"
"General, Jacob never had to follow your orders. The Colonel, well he seemed to have a habit of disobeying your orders. Really, I'm not at all surprised by the way they're acting!"
"You're not helping me!"
"Really…what do you want me to do…sedate them until Dr. Lee finds away to reverse the process?"
"The thought had crossed my mind!"
"Janet!"
"Daniel…what…" she started to say.
"Janet, it's Jacob…he's hurt pretty bad!"
"What happened?" Hammond asked.
"Jack tried telling Jacob not to go so high up the hill…"
"WHAT?" Hammond roared. "You were outside, after I ordered you to stay inside the base!"
"Well…yeah!" Daniel nodded. "Jacob swiped a security card from your desk, we took some trays from the commissary, used them as mini-sleds. We were having fun! I was having fun! Janet, Jacob hit the tree way too hard. He's not moving!"
Dead or alive, Hammond was going to give Jacob a piece of his mind. And he wasn't going to let the energetic Dr. Fraiser stop him!
Once they reached the surface, Hammond stayed on Dr. Fraiser's heels as they hurried to where Jacob was sitting up.
His forehead was smeared with blood and he looked dazed.
"Jacob, look at me!" Dr. Fraiser ordered pulling out her penlight.
"My head hurts," he moaned.
"Yah think!" Jack retorted. "I told you not to go way up there!"
"Fuck you Jack," Jacob grimaced as Dr. Fraiser flashed her light into his eyes.
"He was going too damn fast when he hit the tree," Jack explained to Fraiser. "He's damn lucky, he didn't break his neck."
"Luck has nothing to do with it!" Jacob said getting to his feet.
"Jacob, maybe we should get you a stretcher," Dr. Fraiser suggested.
"I'm fine…I don't need any help. George, don't start with me."
"Jacob…"
George started to talk then thought it was amusing how Jacob couldn't walk in a straight line and was leaning to one side. Then George laughed on the inside when Jacob fell.
"I…I guess, I could use a little help!" Jacob said.
There was a knock on his door. Jack sighed putting his game on pause before turning to see who it was.
"Oh, thank God it's you Jacob," Jack smiled. "I thought it was George coming to give me another lecture about following his orders."
"Don't worry about George, he'll get over it."
"So, how's the head?"
Jacob came over and showed Jack.
"Nine stitches!" Jacob grinned.
"Bitchen! You'll have a great scar!"
"Not if we're changed back and I take Selmak back."
"Handy to have the old gal around for some things," Jack smirked.
Jacob sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Sorry," Jack winced. "Here, I have something to make you feel better!"
Jack quickly closed the door to his room. Once the coast was clear, he pulled the ice chest out from under his bed and opened it.
"Here, have a beer," he smiled. "I was going to get you but doc wouldn't release you from the infirmary yet and threw a tissy when I ventured towards Selmak. Really, I was only going to give her a drink…" he said pulling out a mini bottle of Tequila. "It's her brand right?"
Jacob laughed shaking his head, "Yeah, but she probably would have taken one of your fingers off even if you were giving her alcohol."
"Here, then, you can give it to her," Jack said as he opened a bottle of Heineken.
"Be careful. You can get drunk really fast…I know."
"I'll drink slowly," Jack grinned holding a bottle up for Jacob.
"Wait…you need this to go with your beer," Jacob grinned pulling out a couple of cigars from his pocket.
"Sweet!" Jack smiled wide, grabbing a cigar.
"Now, all we need is a deck of cards!"
Jack flashed a crooked grin then headed over to the dress. There he picked up a small box.
"Got cash? I only play with real money," he snickered.
"Not a problem," Jacob countered while putting his cigar in his mouth.
Jack flicked the CD player on and put his baseball cap on backwards.
"Not scared, are you Jack?" Jacob asked, lighting his cigar.
Jack had the distinct feeling he was being duped into losing a shit load of money to Jacob.
I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I'm gonna go go go
There's not stopping me
I'm burning through the sky Yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit
I'm travlin' at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you….
The music was loud. But the voices raised in song were even louder. Janet's ear's drums were cringing. Jack and his guest were singing off key.
Badly off key!
She was originally on her way to check on Jacob, whose room was down the hall from Jack's. Only Jacob wasn't in his room, so she thought she might ask his new buddy where to find the little General. Jacob was complaining he had a headache, even after she gave him a shot for the pain. And he refused to stay in the infirmary, sneaking out when she had her back turned. She wanted to check on him to be safe.
The other voice with Jack's was definitely Jacob's. She recognized it as she got closer to the door. And she suddenly could smell…smoke…cigar smoke. Testing the doorknob, she found it was unlocked and slowly opened the door.
Neither 'boy' noticed she was watching them. She was very tempted to turn the music off to surprise them. The stereo was right by the door. As it was, she had to hold her breath to keep from coughing, the room was filled with a thick haze of smoke.
But she did think it was funny watching them. Jack had a cigar and beer in one hand, and playing cards in the other hand. Jacob had a cigar in his mouth, a beer in one hand and playing cards in the other hand. The Colonel was wearing his favorite cap, backwards. Jacob had an evil grin. Whatever card game they were play, Jacob was winning, he had a huge pile of cash in front of him and Jack only had a few bills left.
"Don't stop me now 'cause I'm having a good time…" they continued singing.
Janet shook her head. Sounded just like a song only an Air Force pilot would be singing.
"Shit…take my money Jacob!" Jack said throwing down his cards down in disgust then added excitedly, getting to his feet, "Oh…this is my favorite part of the song!"
I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars
On a collision course
I am a satellite I'm out of control
I am a sex machine ready to reload
Like an atom bomb about to
Oh oh oh oh oh explode
Janet heard more than enough of their singing with the conclusion of that verse and hit the power button.
Jacob leapt to his feet. Jack yanked his hat off and started waving the smoke around with it, while trying to hide both the beer and the cigar behind his back.
"Jack…what the hell are you doing?" Jacob asked before he took a long puff off his cigar. "I'm sure she noticed the smoke…it only fills the entire room!"
Jack merely shrugged his shoulders and made that confused face of his. The one where he usually asks the question…what?
"You're lucky it's me and not General Hammond," she smirked as she walked over to Jacob then took the cigar out of his mouth. "He probably would EXPLODE if he walked in."
Jacob's face turned bright red. Jack quickly took a drink of his beer trying to hide his embarrassment.
"How long…how long were you watching?" Jacob nervously asked.
"Long enough, not to worry about your guys' libidos," Janet teased making Jack spray his beer all over himself.
"What the devil is going on in here?" Hammond's voice boomed from behind her. "You're drinking…smoking…and gambling!"
"Oh, come on George, like you and I never had illegal poker games on the base!" Jacob countered. "I seemed to recall you were quite the cigar fiend! You were the one that got me hooked on the damn things!"
"Sir…before you have a heart attack," Janet interrupted. "Look at it this way, they were only doing the damage to themselves…for once."
"I want their beer confiscated! That's an order! I don't know what I'm going to do with them!" Hammond said and was continually complaining out loud as he left the room and walked down the hall.
"Thanks Doc," Jack sighed in relief.
"Just…clean up the mess Jack. Hide the beer. Next time, keep the music down. And NO cigars."
"Yes, Ma'am," Jack said, immediately complying with her orders.
"Jacob, you shouldn't be drinking with the drugs I injected into your system," she said as he was cramming his winnings into his pockets.
"But Janet…"
"No buts! You're lucky I don't sedate you and strap you to an infirmary bed!"
"Ooo! Sounds kinky!" Jack snickered.
Janet rolled her eyes and ignored him.
"My head's fine," Jacob insisted, graciously ignoring Jack's remark as well. "I only had one beer. I drank it slowly!"
"Very well," she sighed. "But I want you in the infirmary first thing tomorrow morning."
"Yes, Ma'am," Jacob eagerly grinned. Almost too eagerly!