Chapter 8 What Now?
They had gotten Kai back. They kept telling themselves that was all that mattered…but he had been so heartless so cruel, so corrupted and broken that they did wonder for how long. Max still tried to check on him nightly Tyson was twice as loud and persistent when it came to offers of friendship and Rei would panic just about every time Kai went out for some time alone worried that this time Kai would not come back.
When Kai had gone they had all swapped stories of their suspicions. Rei mentioned the eating disorders, Tyson the constant nightly disappearances and bottles of well concealed alcohol he had found once when looking for some sweets Kai had confiscated and Max most damning of all mentioned a midnight tryst he had witnessed between Kai and some guy on the train.
They were all worried. But they wanted to be good friends and from what they had been told Kai had not had the best childhood to content with and any problems that he may have be they personality faults or deeper were most likely direct products of that. Even with the facts only Rei had properly understood, both max and Tysons minds being too young to truly pick up on any hints that were offered to them during any of their frequent and worried meetings with the BBA head.
Sometimes they wondered if they should tell of the things that they had seen, let and adult know and get him or her to help. But they were afraid now of even the slightest betrayal. All they could do was wait for the world championship to end. They needed their captain after all.
"He left me again" Tala whispered to his reflection. "He left me again."
He had been repeating the same thing for what felt like hours because Kai had left him again. One kiss and he was gone.
And how Tala damned that kiss. That horrible perfect burning kiss that had lasted seconds but gone on for an eternity. Every inch of him that Kai's body had touched had felt like it was branded, he was going mad...he could still feel those rough hands scolding him...dry lips almost suffocating him with their desperate intensity.
He loved Kai. He knew that, he had always known even before he had admitted it to himself. There was just something about the boy, something that he could see in him just behind his eyes. In so many ways they were the same but Kai was still a puzzle, he could spend all his time trying to figure the boy out and whenever he thought that he had finally done it something would happen, even the smallest thing and he'd realise he knew nothing. Thinking about Kai never got boring...
"He left me again." Tala didn't have much in the world. He knew that he was no longer a child, he'd read about the world even seen it through windows and TV screens. What could he offer Kai? Everything he had now felt stupid, childish and wrong.
"He left me again. I don't blame him I would have left me too."
Stone walls echoed.
Ian had been tired when he had finally been allowed to go to bed. They had been up half the night looking for Kai.
Stone walls echoed and Ian could hear every word Tala said. It was scary. Tala's voice sounded horrible, empty like those kids who gave up, broken like they sounded before they were taken away.
The meaning behind Tala's one sentence was obvious. Only one person had left in the last couple of days.
The sound was driving him crazy. He wanted to break down Tala's door and shake him, scream at him to stop saying that, ask him what was so great about Kai anyway?
Ian turned his back towards the wall and stuck his small, thin, threadbare pillow over his head. It was hard enough to sleep as it was without his captain going crazy in the other room.
The shower was running but Kai was not inside it. He had found out over the last few days that the bathroom was the only place he was allowed to be left alone. Since he'd got back he'd barely had a moment to think.
He had betrayed his grandfather, he had nearly died, he had tried to hurt his old team...but all he could really think about was that he had kissed Tala.
He had kissed Tala and in an instant his memories of the boy had flooded back. It had been a kick in the teeth.
He had kissed Tala and in that moment Tala had owned him. Stripped away all of his defences like a cheese grater on his skin. Left him vulnerable, trembling and raw. It was too much, it was disgusting in it's intimacy an intimacy he had always told himself he could do without.
He wanted to go out and find somebody. Wash Tala from his body in somebody else's sweat. Take away the feel of Tala's hand on the back of his neck that he slept with every night. Forget everything he had remembered even down to Tala's first tentative kiss.
Kai wanted to think more but Rei was already pounding on the bathroom door worried he had escaped out of the window. It was like being under house arrest.
He could feel the bruise forming before he could see it, a tingling ache beneath his skin, dull and throbbing. Why wouldn't the boy next to him leave? And what was his name?
It didn't matter they had only passed the night. It had been quick. They hadn't even removed all of their clothes. He had just wanted to forget everything for a night.
The puppy like enthusiasm had been a real turn off. It was over before it started.
Now Tala was still desperately trying to forget. He wanted to tell the other boy to leave....but what was his name?
Ian held his pillow tighter over his ears.
"And the Bladebreakers win the world championships!"