Privacy by SLynn
Disclaimer: It's all mine, because yeah, this is what I'd do with my free time if I actually owned these characters.
Notes: Greetings from Las Vegas! More notes and thanks to come at the end of chapter 19 but for now, Arkee and I must be the only BNL fans out there! I've stopped at this point because honestly, it was getting to the point where it was harder to pick a title then it was to write a chapter. :)
Chapter 15: Crossroads
Sara had gone into work early that night. She'd heard Greg leave the house not long after she'd left the kitchen knowing full well that he wouldn't be back any time soon. The note he'd left was brief, one line: Gone to Nick's. Unable to do anything constructive at the house, she'd gone to the lab instead where Grissom found her staring at the most recent crime scene photos from the Warner house.
"I thought you were handling the diary?" he asked taking a seat next to her.
"This is why you didn't want Greg in there, right?" she asked ignoring his question, staring at the body of Danielle Carson.
"I didn't want you in there either."
"I've seen drowning victims before Grissom."
Sara said it with her usual conviction, but she continued to stare. She wouldn't admit it to him but it was hard to see. Hard to take. She'd read the tox screen, knew what had happened. Someone had drugged Danielle Carson and then drowned her in the bathtub, much the same as Dr. Fenton had tried to do with Greg just over two months ago. Just like he'd threaten to do with her watching.
Grissom didn't respond right away.
"Any theories?" he asked as she finally put the pictures down.
"Nothing new," she answered. "The diary has references to some one named Bobby, but without a last name it's going to be hard to track him down. I figured we can start by asking the sister Angela; she lived in the house and might know who he was. That and try Danielle's family, they might know."
"Her family is flying in tomorrow from Chicago. You and Greg can get in contact with them and get some more information about Danielle's friends here."
"Wait," Sara said, "me and Greg? You want us to work this together."
"Why not?" Grissom asked, "You're both professional."
"I know but considering everything…"
"Sara," Grissom cut her off, "I'm not concerned so you shouldn't be."
Sara nodded and Grissom stood to go. Even two days ago she would have happily accepted the assignment; would have been happy to have the chance to work with Greg again in the field. Now she felt anything but.
Greg spent Monday night mostly dodging Nick's less then subtle questions about what had happened. He did his best to joke his way out of it, but knew that it hadn't entirely worked. Finally, unable to take it any more, Greg left. Knowing that Sara had probably gone in early he stopped by the house after ten. Sure enough she was gone.
After packing a light bag to get him through the next few days, Greg had nothing better to do then clean. He did the laundry then the dishes and still felt antsy. Out his computer and his PlayStation, he tried reading but couldn't keep focused. Despite it he spent half the night there till he was sure Nick was asleep again. Twice in one night he got lucky, Nick was out cold when he got back.
Greg just decided not to sleep at all that night since he had an early appointment with Dr. Jennings that day. He was out the door before Nick even woke up and in the waiting room twenty minutes early.
She greeted him kindly, the way she always had, but he saw the look on her face as he sat down.
"I thought Sara was coming in with you today?" she asked.
Greg stifled a laugh and shook his head.
"Rough weekend?"
Still he didn't talk. He hadn't realized it had only been four days since he'd seen her last. It seemed like a decade. Greg cradled his head in his hands and just tried to push through it. Just let it out. There was no shock in finding his eyes were wet, it almost felt good.
"Sorry," he choked out finally looking up.
"You don't have to apologize Greg," she offered kindly. She really did look worried.
"And you thought I was going to have a manic episode," he joked with her mostly to regain his composure.
She laughed with him and shrugged her shoulders.
"I've been wrong before. So what did happen?"
"Let's see, I had two articles written about me in the Sun detailing all the worst parts of my life, a dead body on scene that wasn't quite dead yet, that got me suspended for three days from work. I was robbed and got my head cracked open in the process and I think Sara and I are over."
"What's on your mind right now?"
"Honestly? Sara. We had a huge fight yesterday."
"About what?"
"The future. Our future. She wants a family."
"And you don't?"
Greg turned his head away slightly but didn't answer.
"Greg?" she tried again.
"It's not that. I do, I really do," he said admitting it for the first time even to himself.
"Too young? Too soon?" she offered, trying to make it easier.
Greg shook his head.
"Chemotherapy," he said instead.
Dr. Jennings let it sink in and understood.
"How long have you known that you couldn't father a child?" she asked.
She knew Greg had had leukemia as a child, had fought with it for years. Up until now she'd only considered the emotional side effects, not the physical.
"About ten years. My parents knew longer, had been told by the doctors when I was still in treatment. They waited until I was out of high school to tell me. That's when I got tested and it all became official."
"Have you ever talked with anyone about this, professionally I mean?"
"Like what, a specialist or a psychiatrist?"
"Psychiatrist."
"No. Dr. Sanchez and I never talked about it. I had no reason too."
"So you never thought about the possibility of this coming up with Sara before?"
"You know I really didn't. I was just kind of fooling myself that it wouldn't. That she hadn't asked yet, most girls get that kind of information out of you within two or three months, sometimes weeks. I guess I thought since she hadn't yet that I was safe from it, that she'd never ask."
"I'm sure there were other concerns at the time."
"There were. I was still in chemo when we first got together. I got sick enough for a time that she probably never looked past tomorrow. I didn't."
"But things have changed now. You're in remission. The two of you have a house now. You've both moved on."
"Yeah."
"Obviously you're committed to her."
Greg just nodded his head and said nothing.
"Have you two discussed other possibilities? If you both want a family there's always adoption, surrogates, in vitro fertilization even. The old fashion way isn't the only way any more."
"No," Greg answered and then paused before continuing on in a much lower voice. "She doesn't even know yet."
"So you haven't told her at all? Any of this? She's been left assuming you just don't want a family?"
"Pretty much."
Dr. Jennings shook her head and took some notes.
"Is it that you don't think she'll understand?" she asked after a moment.
"No, she will. That's the problem."
"Explain it to me."
"I don't want her to settle."
Nick really was worried about Greg but since he wasn't willing to talk to him he only hoped he was talking to someone. He thought it was a good sign that he'd at least gone to his session on Tuesday morning. He would try talking to Greg again before shift started but didn't hold out much hope.
Once more he was up early that day to meet Amy and her parents for brunch. Nick really did like them, only her dad more then her mom and sister. He knew Jennifer didn't like him but he got the distinct impression Amy's mom Lynn didn't much either. She was civil to him, polite even, but never actively engaged him in conversation.
Nick picked up Amy, relieved that Jennifer wasn't coming this time. They hadn't spent nearly any time alone together in over a week. He missed that. Really missed that. He wasn't going to pretend that a lot of his previous relationships, if they could be called that, had relied heavily on the physical. And yes he missed that with Amy as well but he really just wanted to be talking with her. Nick honestly missed her company.
"You know what today is?" she asked as they drove over.
"Tuesday?" he smirked at her.
"No. Okay, yes, but that's not what I'm getting at."
"Well, what are you getting at?" he asked, tugging her ear because he knew it made her laugh.
She did and pushed his hand away, also as he expected. It gave him the chance to hold it making them both smile.
"Today is the halfway point for my parents' trip. They've been here four days now and are leaving in another four."
"I thought you were enjoying their visit."
"It hasn't been bad," she admitted as they pulled into the Bellagio "but the sooner they're back in California the happier I'll be."
They parked the car and found their way to the restaurant. Everything went smoothly, the best it had gone since they'd arrived. Without Jennifer around it was a lot easier. Afterwards they walked through some of the shops and Nick was surprised when it was Amy's mother Lynn who ended up walking beside him as Amy and her father went forward into one or more of the shops. For more then a few minutes they were both silent. She was the first to speak.
"How serious are you about my daughter?" she asked, sitting down at a bench and indicating for him to join her.
Nick didn't know what to say. She'd never asked him to so much as pass the salt before and now she was questioning his intentions with Amy. He recovered himself quickly enough and sat beside her before answering.
"Well," he began, "we've only been going out a few months but I am serious about her. Completely."
She nodded and for another moment was quiet. Nick wasn't sure if that was good or bad.
"I'm sure you can deduce from my behavior that I don't approve of this relationship. It's nothing against you personally, believe me if she'd of introduced you to us at a different time in her life I would be completely supportive. It's just right now Amy's too young to be seriously involved. She has a career to think of."
"No offense, but isn't that Amy's decision to make?"
Lynn nodded but made no other comment. Now he really was at a loss for words, something that didn't happen often. She looked at him for a moment, scrutinized even.
"My daughter has a brilliant mind. She would have made an incredible doctor but her heart wasn't in it. Instead, she can still make an incredible scientist. When she left college she wanted to go into pharmaceuticals. Research and development. At the time work was hard to find so she took what came along."
"The crime lab here," Nick guessed.
"Yes," Lynn said smiling at him, "she was recommended for it by a family friend, had some background with forensics but it wasn't her first choice. We didn't want her moving away from home but she wanted to be working. It was understood that she would move back once the job she did want came available."
"And now it has," Nick said looking towards where Amy stood with her father, watching one of the performers littering the mall. She caught his eye briefly and smiled at him.
"In two months she can start at Stanford Medical. It wouldn't be an entry level position. She'd be part of a team with the possibility of leading her own very soon, doing what she wanted to do not just the grunt work."
Nick nodded, understanding but not wanting too.
"As I said it isn't you, it's the distraction you cause. Amy doesn't need that right now. She needs to remember her goals in life. Her dreams. Not get caught up in someone else's."
Nick wanted to say something here but she instinctively cut him off. Continued speaking.
"I speak from experience on this. I married an older man when I was young, had my children before my career, but it was never easy. You lose part of yourself. I don't want that for my daughter."
"And what about what Amy wants?" he asked meeting her stare.
"So you do understand," she said sincerely as if he hadn't asked a question but answered one.