Seven
Hi! This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction, so I'd really appreciate it if any of you took the time to read and review- positive, negative, I'll take anything. This story is short but quite dark and does deal with sexual abuse, so if that triggers you, please don't read on. I thought it would be interesting to explore where Bellatrix's obsessive, one-sided love for Voldemort comes from, along with looking at the relationship between the three Black sisters. Hope you enjoy!
L.M.W.
It was Narcissa's birthday tomorrow. She would be seven. Bellatrix, who was four years older and rather obnoxious about it, had told her dismissively that seven was still a baby, but Mother had impressed upon Narcissa that seven was an important birthday. "It's a magical number, my darling," she'd whispered seriously to her youngest daughter. "It means you are coming into your power."
Narcissa wasn't at all sure she wanted to come into her power; despite Bella's taunts, she was perfectly happy being the baby of the family. Mother indulged her, and her father doted on her. He would sit Narcissa on his knee and stroke her long, fair hair, turning the fine strands over wonderingly in his hands. "How did I make you, Narcissa?" he would ask. "You must surely be an angel, sent down to us."
Bella's face would twist in bitter jealousy from her vantage point on the windowsill. She avoided joining the rest of the family before the fire, preferring to perch, birdlike, in corners of the room. She would sneer at Narcissa when Father wasn't looking, narrowing her eyes, and slashing a hand across her throat.
Secretly, Narcissa was rather looking forward to Bella leaving for Hogwarts. She would receive her letter this summer, and start in the September term.
Now, as Narcissa plaited her hair in front of the vanity, Bellatrix sauntered into the room. She tugged on one of Narcissa plaits, and it began to unravel. "Whoops!"
She flicked Narcissa on the cheek and laughed, just a little too loudly. "Oh dear," she said. "Baby can't even plait her hair!"
"Leave her alone, Bella," Andromeda said quietly from the doorway. Bellatrix narrowed her eyes threateningly but flounced away, plucking one of Narcissa's teddies from the toybox and spinning it round by one leg. Narcissa ignored her, turning her attention back to her plait. She had found that this was the best- the only- way to deal with Bella when she was like this. She would quickly get bored and begin tormenting someone else, usually one of the house elves.
Andromeda appeared at Narcissa's shoulder, and met her eyes in the mirror. While Narcissa's were palest blue, Andromeda was very like Bellatrix in looks; her eyes were dark enough to appear black in the dimly lit room.
"Excited for tomorrow?" she a
Narcissa shrugged, looking down at her hands. She loved the adoration heaped on her by various family members who would be visiting for her birthday, but her stomach twisted queasily as she glanced at Bellatrix, who was still crashing around the room. Bella hated anybody else being the centre of attention, but especially Narcissa. Tonight, Bella had a dark gleam in her eyes that Narcissa didn't like, and while she wasn't exactly afraid of her older sister, she was certainly wary of Bellatrix's violent tempers.
Andromeda, who had apparently followed her gaze, put a hand on Narcissa's shoulder. "You mustn't mind Bella," she murmured. "She loves you really. It's just-difficult for her, sometimes."
Occasionally, Andromeda spoke like this. Her voice would go very low, and she would look at Bellatrix like she wanted to cry. It made Narcissa rather irritable. What could Bellatrix possibly suffer to warrant sympathy? She was a wealthy pureblood witch from a respectable family, who had never wanted for anything in her life. "What's so difficult?" she muttered, rolling her eyes at Andromeda in the mirror.
Andromeda blanched, but quickly covered it up. "Nothing," she whispered. "Nothing, Cissy."
Narcissa felt a flicker of unease, but dismissed it. She had more important things to think about. After all, it was her birthday tomorrow.
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"Cissy! Cissy, wake up!"
Narcissa opened her eyes blearily and blinked in confusion. Bellatrix was standing next to her bed, shaking her by the shoulder. Although her wild curls half-obscured her face, Narcissa could see that her dark eyes were alight with excitement. "Cissy, it's your birthday!"
By the warm glow of Narcissa's nightlight, she could see the clock on the mantel piece; while she had not yet mastered the art of telling time, she knew that it was late. "Bella, what time is it?"
"Ten past midnight. You're seven!"
Narcissa stared at her. "I thought seven was still a baby?"
"That's as may be," Bellatrix said loftily, waving a hand. "You are my sister, and I wish to celebrate the anniversary of your birth."
Bellatrix had always been, for as long as Narcissa could remember, predictably unpredictable. One moment, she would shower Narcissa with affection, kissing her hair and speaking lovingly to her, and the next, she would wrap her hand around those long, blonde strands and yank. She seemed to hurtle from one emotional extreme to another for no discernible reason; she could go from raging to almost cloyingly affectionate in a heartbeat, from cruel to sweet to serpentine calm.
If Narcissa was honest, she almost preferred it when Bella was taunting her and tugging her hair. There something about Bellatrix's love that felt suffocating, almost desperate.
"Bellatrix, you should be in bed."
Bella's face fell almost comically. "But I brought food! I raided the kitchens so we could have a midnight feast!"
Narcissa hitched a reluctant smile onto her face. "All right then. I suppose you can stay."
"Aren't you going to thank me?" Bella demanded, flinging herself onto Narcissa's bed and sending the covers flying.
"Thank you, Bella," Narcissa murmured obediently.
"I brought strawberries and pies. You can have the bigger one, even though I am firstborn, because it's your birthday."
"Thank you, Bella," Narcissa repeated, keeping her eyes down.
Bella shoved a pork pie into her mouth, groaning slightly. "Mmph, thish ish good!" She waved one under Narcissa's nose. "Eat up!"
"I'm not hungry," Narcissa muttered, still not meeting Bellatrix's eyes, which she knew had narrowed.
"What do you mean, you're not hungry? I went to all this effort to make a birthday feast for you!"
"I never asked you to."
As soon as the words left Narcissa's mouth, she knew they were a mistake. In one quick moment, Bellatrix had forced her jaw open and crammed the pie into her mouth, pressing one hand over Narcissa's face so that she couldn't breathe. Narcissa spluttered, tugging ineffectively at Bellatrix's wrist, as she struggled for air.
"I brought you food, and you're going to eat it," Bella hissed in her ear, keeping her hand clamped across Narcissa's mouth. Tears spilled over onto Narcissa's cheeks and suddenly, she was released. As she gasped, Bella shrieked with laughter, clutching her ribs with mirth. "Oh, Cissy, your face! You've got crumbs-"
She reached forward, and Narcissa, heart still thundering, shied away. Bellatrix frowned. "Don't be such a baby, I was only joking. Let me-"
She leaned over again, but Narcissa, reflexively, grabbed her hand. "Don't touch me!"
Still laughing, Bella tore her wrist away. "Oh, Cissy, really! Anybody would think I was trying to hurt you!"
"You did hurt me," Narcissa hissed, feeling her eyes fill with tears again. "You hurt my jaw. And you stopped me from breathing."
Bellatrix drew back as though Narcissa had hit her. "I didn't mean to! I just wanted to say happy birthday, Cissy, honestly-"
"Just go away, Bellatrix!" Narcissa almost shouted, wiping the tears off her cheeks. "I don't want to play your stupid games. I'm tired!"
Bellatrix's face hardened. "Fine then. I was just trying to be nice. Enjoy your pie, you fat little pig. I hope you choke on it."
And she stormed out, slamming the door behind her.
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Narcissa wandered happily through the sprawling hallways of the Black manor, singing quietly to herself. She was dressed in her new birthday frock, a white, frilly affair that delighted her in its extravagance. The day, despite Bella dark looks and whispered taunts, had been thoroughly enjoyable- her aunt Walburga and uncle Orion had visited, showering her with gifts. She'd had to put up with their annoying three-year-old son, Sirius, but it was a small price to pay for the enchanted make-up set Aunt Walburga had given her. Now, despite already having had two helpings of birthday dinner and three helpings of cake, she was on her way to the kitchen to scavenge any scraps left of the truly magnificent feast.
As she passed by an old storage cupboard, the sound of voices made her pause. That was Bella, speaking lowly and agitatedly- and the rumble that answered her belonged to their father. Frowning, Narcissa paused to listen. Why were they in the cupboard?
"I'm not in the mood," she heard Bellatrix say. She couldn't make out her father's reply, but it apparently angered Bellatrix, because her voice rose uncontrollably.
"I told you, I don't want to! Not today!" Their father hissed something, and Bellatrix checked her voice and added more quietly, "It's Cissy's birthday."
Narcissa was rooted to the spot. She didn't understand what Bella was talking about, but there was a cold weight settling in her stomach. Bellatrix shouldn't sound like that. She shouldn't have that odd mixture of fear and weariness in her voice. She wished, terribly, that she could see into the room, see what was going on-
and suddenly the door turned from opacity to transparency, and Narcissa regretted her wish.
In the cupboard, her father had his arms around Bellatrix. His eyes were closed, and he was kissing her neck.
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Narcissa lugged the secret around with her, tucked somewhere between her ribs, through the cloyingly hot August.
She tried very hard to remember what she had been like before she knew, before her life had been callously torn up and discarded like so many pieces of paper. She tried to mimic her previous self, to perch on her father's lap and smile at him in the same way, to let him stroke her hair. She tried to forgive Bellatrix her cruelty.
On an evening early in August, she sat in the playroom playing cards with her sisters. Bella slapped a card down, and the pile exploded; she threw her arms up in triumph. "I win! I win, I win, I win!"
Sometimes, Narcissa thought, Bella could be mistaken for the youngest in the family.
She smiled indulgently at Bellatrix. "Well done, Bella. Good game."
"Loser!" Bella crowed, cackling with laughter. Where Narcissa might once have felt annoyance, she now felt an irrepressible sadness. She smiled at Bellatrix. "Yes, I lose. You beat me by miles!"
She became suddenly aware of Andromeda's intense scrutiny of her. She avoided her sister's eyes, concentrating on shuffling her cards.
Soon, Bellatrix would leave for Hogwarts. Despite her apparent nonchalance, Narcissa knew she had been beside herself with joy when she received her letter. Her face lit up whenever she talked about Hogwarts, which was often- owls, cauldrons, books, robes and quills now featured heavily in the Black household's conversation. Narcissa was grateful; at Hogwarts, Bella would be safe. Maybe she would even be happy.
She looked back down at her cards. Two weeks until Bella left.
Just two weeks.
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On the day that Bellatrix left for Hogwarts, Narcissa was dry-eyed. Their parents did not take Narcissa and Andromeda to the station, so they said their goodbyes at home. Bellatrix gave her a perfunctory kiss on the cheek, too absorbed in her own excitement to pay much attention to anything else. Narcissa's throat was clogged with unsaid words, and they stuck too painfully for her to look at Bella. She turned her gaze on her shoes instead.
Only when it came to Andromeda's goodbye did Bellatrix seem to realise that she was truly leaving. She whispered urgently in Andromeda's ear, hands clasped anxiously. Andromeda nodded, and Bella suddenly gave a wail and launched herself into her sister's arms. She sobbed into Andromeda's shoulder until Mother, embarrassed, tugged her away. "Honestly, Bellatrix, such a scene! You'll see your sister again. Now, we must make haste! Or do you wish to miss the Hogwarts express entirely?"
Bellatrix shook her head mutely, still clinging to Andromeda's hand.
"Well, let's go then! Cygnus, get her trunk- come on Bellatrix, we are going to be late!"
She prised Bellatrix away from Andromeda, whom, Narcissa was startled to see, was also crying. Andromeda was not prone to excessive emotion like her older sister; Narcissa could count the number of times she had seen Andromeda in tears on one hand.
Bella turned away, still crying, and shuddered for a moment. Then she straightened her back and lifted her head, staring determinedly ahead.
Flanked by her father and mother, she marched away without a backwards look.