A/N: A short song fic that I wrote when I was bored. Every time I hear this song it reminds me about Draco and Lucius's relationship. Well I don't know if he would beat Draco but he is kinda mean. Well I don't think this story is that good but I wanted to make it up for not updating my other fic Unwanted. I'm kinda thinking about not continuing that story cuz it seems kinda (I say that a lot don't I?) crappy and it isn't exactly the way I wanted it to turn out. Some of the characters seem very annoying (as in the way they act and stuff, I know I'm the author and I can change it but it seems like it would ruin the story) and I've got massive writer's block. Now you can finally read the fic below. sheepish grin
NUMB - Linkin Park
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Why is my life already mapped out for me? Already decided. Already constructed. There was a time where I looked up to you but now I feel nothing but hate for you. What is the use of following in your footsteps if I can't be happy? I want to be me. Trying to impress you for the sake of my life was always something that I could never accomplish. You treated me like dirt and you still do. I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up. Then I would never have to open my eyes and live this nightmare that seems to continue and never end. My only memories of you are when you came into my room at night when the moon would shine and would beat me, kick me, torture me till I could make no sense of anything and would drift off into this world of darkness. I always found myself crying in pain. You told me crying was a sign of weakness. What would you have done if you were in my shoes? If you were the one who was scared and was always looking over their shoulder?
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
They say time heals all wounds but as time drags on the more I feel I want to let go. I can't let you win. I don't want to be some death eater. A person who takes orders without question. A person who follows blindly after their master like a lost puppy. A person with no life of their own. A lost soul. You are scared of Him. I see the fear in your eyes when He summons you. You are stubborn to admit it but you have made a mistake. One that could cost you your life. You take it out on me because I'm your only way of getting out of the mess you have created. My life for yours. I become a loyal death eater and you would reap the rewards for your contribution to the next generation of blood thirsty death eaters. But I won't give in even if it kills me.
Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take
Pain is all I feel. My whole body cries out for the pain to stop. I could die tonight just like all the other nights you have beaten me. I never closed my eyes and fallen in eternal sleep those nights but I think tonight is the night.
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
It's over. You are doomed. In a way you have died too. You died when you joined him, I guess I'm a lot better off than you. Oh, how the tables have turned.
And I know I may end up failing too
But I know you were just like me
With someone disappointed in you
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Tired of being what you want me to be