Disclaimer: Not mine, never has been, never will be.
A/N: Spoilers for "Nesting Dolls". Jorja Fox really deserves some kind of award for her acting in "Nesting Dolls". Nick's POV
Friendship N/S
Loyalty
I wonder when this rivalry between the nightshift and the swing shift started when a sudden silence falls in the break room as soon as Greg enters it.
I haven't been paying real attention to what Catherine has been saying but I know she hasn't stopped talking about Sara and her one week suspension or her just one week suspension, which is how Catherine likes to call it.
I don't like talking behind people's backs, especially when that person is supposed to be our friend, my friend, our co-worker, but that isn't the real reason why I have been so silent. My silence is a direct result of the debate going on in my head. The main topic of that debate is where my loyalty lies, because I feel I'm asked to make a choice between my old team and my new one and the more I think about it the more I realize I can't make such a choice.
Sara may have been out of line, but how many times has any one of us been out of line saying things we didn't really mean? How many times did a case get to us, more than it should? How many times did I slam my fist into the wall in the locker room when frustration over case got the better of me?
Me slamming my fist into the wall and Sara lashing out at Catherine and Ecklie are one and the same thing. She just uses words instead of her fists to express her helplessness and frustration and Catherine and Ecklie were her wall.
Her actions were wrong, but understandable. More so because we all know there is something which makes Sara lose it when it comes down to abuse cases. So if we don't understand her, who will? Or better if I don't understand, who will?
I remember so clearly when I acted very much like Sara during a case three years ago and Catherine gently pushed me and I told her what happened when I was nine years old. Catherine didn't push Sara gently, she shoved her, she shoved her right into the arms of Ecklie, who took his turn in yelling at her. They all yelled at her when all she needed was some kind of reassurance that things would turn out just fine.
Suddenly my longing to have the old team restored again gets overwhelming. I don't want to be nice to Ecklie just because Catherine seems to think it is a good political maneuver. I don't want to be stuck in a competition with my friends at the nightshift.
I just want to go to my friend and tell her everything will be okay.
I hear Greg saying Grissom talked to Sara and I'm glad that finally Grissom got his act back together when it comes down to Sara, but it isn't enough for me and when I hear Greg say that he didn't expect this attitude from the swing shift (he is not saying from us, or his friends, but from the swing shift and that makes the big distance between our teams even more real) I know what I have to do. I think I always knew what to do and where my loyalty lies.
And I know it really isn't about loyalty, but about friendship and right now I have a friend who needs me more than my supervisor needs me. So I make a choice which really isn't a choice, but it feels like it when I feel Catherine staring at me when I get up and start walking towards the exit of the lab.
END