Chapter 8

"Louise was a nurse here in Brazzaville, in this very hospital," Jack's voice woke up Andrew and made the blond angel to sit up a little and turn to face him. Jack was now lying on a bed next to the angel's, sweating with the fever and his whole body aching a lot. An occasional drop of blood from his nose told him the end was coming. "I still remember the first time I saw her, standing at the door of the doctor's lounge, telling me it was 6 o'clock and my shift had begun. It was an image I wanted to wake up with forever!"

Jack turned to see Andrew. The angel smiled and the man continued. "It took me a while to confess my love for her but at the end I did it. We dated for about a year, the happiest of my life."

"And then what happened?"

"It was the early 80's when we didn't know a lot about AIDS, about how you could get infected or about the risks you had when working with sick people. There was an accident not far from here. A school bus crashed and a little girl crashed against a window. The glass was stuck everywhere in her body, even in her face. It was so painful to see her! And she was just five years old. We started to work on her immediately but we couldn't sedate her as her blood pressure was too low. She moved because of the pain and Louise cut her hand. We didn't know but the girl had AIDS. Louise had diabetes and without a proper treatment, as there wasn't any then, her health worsen quickly. We ran all kinds of tests on her and we got the results the day I was going to ask her to marry me."

"Did you still propose?" Andrew asked.

"Yes. All I wanted was to be able to call Louise my wife. But a few days before the wedding a sudden summer storm caught her on her way back home. She was very weak and she got fulminating pneumonia. Her mother took her to the hospital immediately but it was too late. She only make it through the night and died the following morning... three days before the wedding."

After Jack finished his story, Andrew remained silent for a minute, then he added, "And you blamed God for Louise's death..."

"Who else could be?" the man answered. "It was only three days before she became my wife! Why couldn't we make come truth what we wanted the most? Why did she had to get AIDS in the first place?"

"God didn't give her AIDS, Jack, that was not His will. Louise got AIDS because she decided to help the little girl and it was a risk she decided to take..."

"But we didn't know the girl had AIDS! That was not Louise's choice!" Jack argued.

"It was even if she didn't know about the AIDS. It was her choice to help her just as it was your choice to help the first patient you got with Ebola even before you knew it was indeed Ebola..." the angel explained.

"I had to help them. I'm a doctor, I'm here to help them and to try to safe their lives..."

"But you do know you risk to get sick 'cause you never know what your next patient may have. That's something all doctors and nurses know, and it is your choice to decide to take that risk and become a doctor or a nurse, or choose another profession."

"You're right..." Jack accepted.

"I know you wanted to marry Louise and it's terrible she died just three days before your wedding, but she was suffering, Jack, she was in a terrible pain when she got the pneumonia. As any father, God doesn't want to see His children in pain and she was too sick to get well..."

"Are you telling me it was the best for her to die?"

"Being that sick and with no chances to get better... I think that you, as a doctor, know well enough when one of your patients has no chance to have a good quality of life anymore. Don't you give them all kind of medicines to help them to bear the pain even when you know they'll die in some hours or days at most?"

"Yes, I do..." the doctor accepted. "I've even thought the best for some of them would be to die as soon as possible... I mean, when they are too sick or too badly hurt."

"I know that, Jack, and God knows it even better. That's why He knows when someone has to die... and He sends an angel to take them Home."

"An angel?" the man asked meeting Andrew's gaze. "You mean there is an angel with every people who dies?"

"Yes, there is. Just as there was an angel with Louise and just as there will be one with you..."

"Andrew, how can you know that?" he asked still fighting to accept what his friend was telling him. "There is no proof of something like that! You can't know for sure..."

"I know it, Jack, because I am one of those angels. I am an Angel of Death," Andrew said sitting on his bed.

"Yeah, right! You're an angel and you are lying on a bed with an arm hurt and a big scar on your stomach!"

"When God sends His angels to Earth, we have to take human form to be able to reach you and make you trust us and trust Him. I know it's weird to believe we can get hurt or sick, but He moves in mysterious ways and we all are instruments of His plan. Louise saw the truth before she died, an angel was by her side and took her to meet the Father when her time here was over, and she lives now in His presence..."

Jack could swear the man sitting on the bed next to his was the most human of the human beings, but there was something in his words that had finally reached his heart. Most important, the man wanted to believe what the angel was telling him, even when he hadn't been magically healed or when there hadn't been a sudden miracle in the room. What Jack was seeing in Andrew's green eyes wasn't the studied discourse of a fanatic but the most absolute and sincere truth, and that fact still scared him a lot. He was facing something he had tried to deny for years. "If you really are an angel, do something to make me believe it," the doctor asked in a defiant tone.

"You better believe him, Jack McKinney, because he is an angel and angels don't lie," Tess' strong voice filled the room and made Andrew turn to see her with a wide smile on his face.

"Tess!" Andrew exclaimed.

"Hello, Andy, how's my angel boy doing?" the supervisor went to hug him.

"How did you get here?!" Jack asked very surprised. "None is supposed to get in here!"

"I don't need a permission. I am an angel and a plastic curtain is nothing for me," Tess said and her white attire seemed to start to glow.

"Oh my...!" the man murmured almost speechless.

"Finish the sentence, Jack. 'Oh, my God!'" the dark skinned angel told him. "Yes, there is a God and He's sent an angel to be with you in these hard moments, so when the time comes you can go to Him with your heart clean of sorrow and pain, and full of joy and peace. He loves you. You can be sure of it, you can accept that and stop fighting with what your heart already believes."

Tess and Andrew had remained talking to Jack for a little while more until the man had drifted off to sleep. Sitting on Andrew's bed, both angels were looking at him before the supervisor started to talk. "It's good to see you back, angel boy."

"It's good to be fine again! Though I should be mad at you..." he said in mock indignation.

"Mad at me?" Tess asked.

"Yeah! I almost kicked the bucket and you didn't even bring me chocolates!" the blond angel joked crossing his arms over his chest and pouting as a spoiled little boy.

"Oh, you...!" the older angel said slapping him on the arm playfully and then hugging him again. When she released him, they turned to look at Jack again. "You're doing a great job, baby. He's a hard case."

"I wish Monica was here!" Andrew exclaimed. "She'd do a much better job than me!"

Tess smiled and met his gaze, easily reading what was in his green eyes. "She's doing just fine, Andy. She really scared us, but she was awake and talking when I left her."

"I'm dying to see her, Tess. You can't imagine what these days have been for me, knowing she was sick and we were so far from each other..."

"I know and the Father knows, but I'm sure you'll be together again very soon and this won't be but a very bad dream..."

He reached to take the supervisor's hand and squeezed it. "Yes, I know... I just want to wake up as soon as possible."

Washington 4:00 p.m. Two days later

Gloria got into Monica's room pushing a wheel chair and the Irish angel couldn't help but look at her questioningly. "It's for you," the young angel explained. "I guess you'll want to use it as soon as I tell you what happened an hour ago."

"What?" Monica asked.

"Mike woke up. He's conscious now, he has no fever and he's even trying to eat."

"Oh, God! That's wonderful news!" the Irish angel exclaimed with eyes bright with joy. "I want to see him!"

"I know, let me help you."

Mike, as well as Monica, had been moved to a normal room now, and the boy was obediently eating a chicken soup under the attentive look of a nurse, when the two angels came in.

"Hello, Mike. This is my friend Monica," Gloria told him. "She was the first doctor to see you when you came in here, and she wanted to see you."

"Can't you walk?" the little boy asked innocently when he saw the Irish angel on the chair.

"No, I can walk, Mike. It's just that I was sick and I get tired easily," Monica explained.

"I know. I was sick too and I also feel tired", he said reaching to take Monica's arm. She looked at his little hand and saw how thin it was after so many days sick and how big the bruise around his veins was after so many IV's. "Did you have what I had?"

"Seems so..." Monica replied.

"Don't worry, you're gonna be ok," he said now stroking the angel's auburn hair as if she was the kid and he the grown person. "The worst part is over and God is watching you."

Monica smiled at the boy's words. "Thank you, Mike. I know God was watching over both of us during these days."

The boy smiled back at her and then lowered his head. "Is my mommy going to be alright?"

Monica cupped his chin to make him see her. "She's still fighting, sweetheart. We have to keep on praying for her..."

"Can I see my dad? I don't want him to be mad at me anymore..."

"No, Mike, he was not mad!" Monica told the boy. She made a big effort to stand up from the chair and take a seat on the bed to hug him.

"He was mad at my mommy too..."

"You know? Sometimes people who love each other do some things that end up hurting the ones they love even when that was not their intention. But real love can heal that hurting and your dad loves you and your mom a lot!"

"Can you tell him to come and see me?"

"He's working, honey, but I'll call him and ask him to come as soon as possible, ok? I promise he'll come," Monica said and smiled at seeing the boy's eyes full of hope.

"Thank you," Mike murmured.

"You're more than welcome," she said hugging him again.

Washington 7:00 p.m.

Being as active as she's always been, Monica was having a hard time staying in bed most of the time. She was taking now short walks along the corridor, but the truth was that she got tired after a few steps and she certainly couldn't go back to work like this. Gloria had brought her a CD player and some slow, romantic songs that were almost drifting her off to sleep. Besides, after being with Mike, she had insisted on going check on Alice and then call to Robert's office, but his secretary had informed he was in a reunion with other members of the Senate. She had decided she'd wait for him to come, so in the mean time she was trying to write a letter for Andrew.

"Come in," she said suppressing a yawn when she heard a knock in the door.

"Good night, Monica," Robert greeted her. "You look much better today."

"Thanks, Robert. I feel much better."

"Michel Bolton, huh?" the man said taking the box of the CD Gloria had left playing. "It's one of Alice's favorites too..."

"Robert," Monica started, "I called you precisely to talk about Alice and Mike. Have you seen him?"

"No. I... can't find the courage to face him," the man said obviously ashamed.

"He thinks you're mad at him and that you don't love him anymore because of something he might have done wrong..."

"No! It's not his fault! It would never be!"

"Then tell him, Robert! Don't tell me you don't love him because you do! I know you spent these nights in your office, alone, almost without sleeping because you couldn't bare your house alone, without Mike's laughter or Alice's music. I know more than once you lifted your face and gulped hard at the very thought of facing the rest of your life without them..."

"How do you know it?" the senator asked very surprised.

"I know it, Robert. I can see it in your eyes."

"I did it..." he said closing his eyes, a tear crossing his cheek. "I wouldn't know how to live without them... but I don't know how to live with that lie..."

"You're not living with a lie now. You're living with a truth. And that truth has come from love, from the love you feel for your son and from the love you feel for your wife..." the little angel told him clearly fighting to remain awaken.

"How do I face them? How do I tell Mike he's not my son but I love him anyway? How do I tell Alice I forgive her and that she has to forgive me if she..." Robert took a deep breath "...if she's still in danger and I can't get in and touch her, kiss her as I'd like to do?"

"One step at a time..." Monica reached her hand and he took it. "Mike is fine, he's recovering, and he needs you, he needs the loving father he's always had in you..."

"I don't even dare to think Alice might..."

Monica squeezed his hand reassuringly. "I can't tell you if she's going to live, but I can tell you to trust God with her life. He can heal the sickest body and mend the most hurting heart, and even if He called her to His side... I can promise you you'll see her in Heaven one day..."

Robert cleared his tears away before he could respond. "I want to trust Him, Monica, but I'm so afraid of what I'd do alone!"

"I know that, Robert, believe me... I've wondered the same after what happened with me and Andrew..." the Irish angel said.

"Oh, yes... Your friend Gloria told me he was in The Congo and had had an accident..." He saw Monica's eyes shining with a sudden spark of pain. "But you'll be together soon again, I'm sure."

"And so will you... with your family. I'm sure..."

Seeing the little angel was fighting not to sleep, Robert decided it was better for him to go. "I'll let you sleep, Monica."

"Promise you'll go see Mike?"

"Yeah..." he murmured wondering how could be someone so interested in the others even when she was barely recovering from a terrible disease.

Monica saw him going out and reached to take the notebook where the letter for Andrew was. She started to read it again, but the lyrics of the song that was now playing called her attention and she closed her eyes to listen to it... little by little surrendering to sleep.

I talk to you but its not the same as touchin' you
And every time you whisper my name, I wanna run to you
We'll be together, it won't be long, it won't be long
But it feels like forever, and its hard to be strong

Monica was asleep when Robert opened her door again. He had come back to ask her if she wanted him to call to Brazzaville to know how Andrew was doing, but he realized she was too tired to wake her up. He noticed the song and listened for a little while, smiling at how oddly appropriate it seemed...

Baby 'cause I'm missing you now
And its drivin' me crazy
How I'm needin' you baby
I'm missing you now

Can't wait till I'm alone with you
To show you how I'm missing you now

Robert noticed the notebook in Monica's hand and took it to place it on the nightstand, but a line of the letter called his attention and he read it...

At the same time, Andrew woke up with the first rays of light of a new day. Someone at the nurses station had turned on a radio and the angel listened to the song that was being played, his thoughts immediately going to a certain little angel he missed so much...

Wishin' you were here by my side is all that I can do
Got my arms around my pillow at night, they should be
holdin' you
Thought I was stronger, how could I know, how could
I know
I can't take this much longer, its so hard on my soul

Baby 'cause I'm missing you now
And its drivin' me crazy
How I'm needin' you baby
I'm missing you now

Can't wait till I'm alone with you
To show you how I'm missing you now

Baby I just can't wait, till I see your face
Chase away this loneliness inside
When you're close to my heart, right here in my arms
Then and only then, will I be satisfied
I'm missing you now


I know

We'll be together, it won't be long, it won't be long
But it feels like forever, and its hard to be strong

Baby 'cause I'm missing you now
And its drivin' me crazy
How I'm needin' you baby
I'm missing you now

Can't wait till I'm alone with you
To show you how I'm missing you now

(Missing you now by Michel Bolton and Kenny G)