A/N: Hehe I read my stories… again! And well I'm kind of getting short on ideas! Anyone want to contribute to the make people laugh foundation? Just send me a review with one of three things:
A really awesome comment on my stories
An idea for something silly that could happen between any of the characters or a ship that you think I have accidentally overlooked in my… what ever this thing is
And/or a title for a story because you can get a lot of crazy ideas just from a title.
Thanks and I hope you have fun reading my Valentines Day story.
P.S. see if you can count the pairings! (The numbers actually do it for you.) Its not very funny just shows how much I hate ships. (Well except Harry and Ginny. Don't know why though!)
Disclaimer: uhh I once ate Fish and Chips… can I own it now?
Harry Potter and the Convoy of Ships"Harry we should definitely snog sometime," Ron said lightly. (1)
"Erm no I'm afraid it would never work out between us," Harry said compassionately.
"Still that doesn't mean we can't snog," Ron replied.
"Yes it does because you keep forgetting I'm dating Malfoy!" (2)
Suddenly Malfoy appeared. "Harry it's over," he said softly.
"How can you do this to me sugar-plum! I loved you!" Ron yelled.
"Ron he's breaking up with me not you!" Harry yelled outraged.
"Oh well why are you getting so mad?" Malfoy cringed very scared.
"Because I know you two have been sneaking off behind my back!" (3) Harry said breaking down in tears.
"Oh well then I'm breaking up with both of you!" Malfoy said soothingly.
"But why Draco?" Ron asked beginning to weep.
"Because I'm in love with Hermione…" (4) "… But actually dating Ginny," (5) Malfoy said proudly.
"You can't have Hermione she's mine!" Harry yelled angrily. (6)
"Not true!" Ron also yelled, "she's mine," (7) "and so is Ginny!" (8)
Harry and Draco looked at him like he was some sort of freak.
"Dude that's just wrong!" Harry said shaking his head.
"She's like your sister!" Draco scolded.
"Like you're one to talk Malfoy! We all know you had a thing going with your mom (9) and your dad!" (10) Ron yelled out angrily.
"Okay this is getting way to weird… lets go find other characters and find out their odd ship/love life's!" Harry yelled excitedly.
So the three somethingateers went on the quest for the Holy grail which in this case was a love life chain that would make any soap opera look like a children's book about eggs!
The first person they happened to have crossed paths with was the town bicycle. "Hermione, we've been looking all over for you!" Ron said excited.
"Are you here to find out about my confusing and very long love life?" she asked.
"Yep… chronologically please," Harry said smiling at her.
"Well of course there was you two, then I once kissed Mr. Weasley and Mr. Malfoy," the boys all cringed, "then there was Voldy… he was a good kisser… and Snape, um I once kissed Ginny but that was just truth or dare so I don't think it counts. Once me and Lupin came pretty close to third base but was interrupted by Sirius… don't think he was too happy, suppose they were dating…"
"Alright, alright we get the gist. You have kissed everyone," Ron scribbled down on his clipboard.
"That's not true and I resent that comment. I have never kissed Dean!" Hermione yelled angrily. (Um I'll just round that to 150)
The three boys hurriedly walked down the hallway before Hermione could try and kiss them again.
When they got to the end of the hallway they met Ginny.
"Ginny how many people have you kissed?" Harry asked scared about the answer.
"Six," she replied simply.
"Six! That's all?" Harry yelled out in shock.
"Yep. Michael, Dean, Hermione, Draco, Sirius and you. See, six." (154)
"Wow!"
"What's your magic number Harry?" Ginny asked curious.
Harry blushed and mumbled, "Two."
"Two!" all three of them yelled.
"Yes okay? Ginny and Cho!" he said stubbornly. (155)
"But I thought you dated Hermione, and Draco?" Ron asked confused.
"Yes but I never said I kissed them!"
"You poor boy!" Mrs. Weasley yelled giving him a kiss. (156)
"Ron what's your number?" Harry asked after Mrs. Weasley had released him.
"Oh my Ronnikins hasn't ever kissed a girl," Mrs. Weasley said pinching Ron's cheek.
Harry and Ginny giggled. Malfoy just stood there looking scandalized.
"That's so not true! Me and Ron kissed oodles of times plus I know he's kissed Hermione!"
"Alright so my real number is 96!" Ron yelled and Mrs. Weasley died of a heart attack. (242)
"Okay we have enough information!" Draco yelled excitedly.
"Oh well too bad we can't read it!" Harry yelled as they all fell to the floor except for Hermione who was still in the other corridor counting the people she has kissed. Suddenly she got brain hemorrhage and also died… again.