Series: Snapshots of the Past

Story: The London Years

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Previously: Abbey helped Jed overcome his fear of inadequacy when it came to caring for Elizabeth

Summary: It's late Spring 1968 and Jed and Abbey hear shocking news. In the present, Abbey is concerned about Jed's real reason for not being home

- - -

June 1968

It was a quiet summer afternoon at the Bartlet house. With Elizabeth sleeping in late, Jed and Abbey took advantage of the free time and did the same. Now that they were all up and dressed, it was time to begin the day.

Jed sat back on the sofa, his eyes mesmerized by Abbey cradling Elizabeth in her arms. She was a natural mother, he thought, gazing at her swaying Liz back and forth. To him, it seemed as if Abbey always had all the answers. She was a confident woman, as secure in her parenting skills as mothers twice her age.

What he didn't know was the level of uncertainty and fear that ran through Abbey's mind every single day, most of it fostered by the anxiety that came with the thought of leaving her alone.

"May I?" he asked as he stood up and approached mother and daughter.

Abbey nodded and carefully placed the baby in his arms. "Watch out for her head," she warned.

"I have done this once or twice before, Abbey. You've trained me well."

"I know, I just want to make sure."

Jed smiled at her then held Elizabeth upright. "Mommy gets nervous when anyone else dares to hold her precious angel." He began turning around, spinning Liz with him as Abbey covered her eyes.

But when he picked up the pace and bounced her in his arms, she spoke up. "Jed! Stop it! She's too young for that!" she admonished.

"She's laughing," he replied.

"That's because she doesn't know any better."

Sensing her disapproval, Jed handed Abbey the baby and took a seat back on the sofa. Abbey put Liz back in her crib and ran her fingers over her back, soothingly. When the baby was settled, Abbey joined her husband, picking up his hand and placing it in her lap while softly stroking the back of his knuckles.

"I know you're always careful with her. I'm just an over-protective Mom. I'm sorry."

Jed smiled and leaned in to give her a quick kiss, reassuring her that he wasn't upset. When her expression didn't change, he became concerned. "What's the matter?" he asked.

She took her eyes away from him and focused on the wall in front of her instead. "What do you mean?"

Jed put his hand under her chin and turned her back towards him. "Abbey, what's going on?"

"I'm going back to work Monday."

"Yeah?"

She paused and looked down, then glanced back up at him. "I don't want to leave her," she admitted.

Jed tilted his head to his side, visibly touched by her candor. "Oh, Sweetie."

"I know it's silly. I know she'll be fine and I'll see her right after work, but I just can't stand the thought of missing anything."

"Then don't go."

"I have to go."

He ran the back of his hand over her cheek. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, Abbey. Ever."

"Jed, that's crazy. I need to work. We need the money."

"You let me worry about that, okay?"

"I can't put it all on you."

"I wouldn't tell you to if I wasn't sure we were going to be okay. I love you and I love that you want to stay home and care for our little girl. Honestly, the only reason I was so supportive of you returning to work is because I thought you wanted to."

"Part of me does."

"And the other part just wants to be a mother right now," he finished. "I think that's wonderful."

"You do?"

"It's the hardest job in the world."

Abbey leaned forward and hugged him, her hands clasped around his neck. "I'm so lucky to have you."

Jed held her tightly, his eyes still watching the television in front of them. He pulled away when the images on the screen caused him alarm. "Hold on." He walked over to the set and turned up the volume, then sat back down next to Abbey in silence.

"...Kennedy had just completed a press conference after declaring victory in the California primary, a crucial win in his campaign to secure the Democratic Presidential nomination..." the television reporter announced. "The condition of the other five victims is not known at this time. Once again, Senator Robert Francis Kennedy succumbed to his injuries after being shot in Los Angeles early this morning. His wife Ethel was by his side."

Abbey ran to the door and picked up the two copies of The London Times. It was true.

"They published an Extra," she said, taking a step inside with the newspapers in her hand. She and Jed exchanged a fear-ridden glance.

That night, they lay in bed in each other's arms, both still stunned into silence.

"It was never as peaceful as I would have liked, what with all the riots, but now...with Dr. King two months ago and Senator Kennedy..." Abbey trailed off.

"...it's gotten much worse," he finished.

Jed pulled her up and pressed a comforting kiss on her lips as he ran his hand up and down her arm.

- - -

Present day - July 1970

Abbey was snapped back into reality by the sound of Elizabeth crying. She ran into the nursery and found her standing up in her crib with her hands extended, wanting to be held. Abbey picked her up and melted when her daughter laid her little head on her mother's chest. She ran her hands in a soothing circular motion across the baby's back.

"It's okay, Sweetheart. Did you have a bad dream?"

She pulled Liz away from her body to look at her face, wiping the tears as they trickled down from her eyes. Liz continued sobbing, occasionally bursting out with pleas for her daddy between cries.

"I know you want your daddy. I want him too, Angel." Abbey pulled her in close and kissed the top of her head as she continued swaying. Her eyes turned to the clock. It was 1:30 in the morning and she still hadn't heard from Jed. Of course he was blowing off steam, but it wasn't like him not to call.

She tried to convince herself that Jed probably just lost track of time, but doubts lingered in the back of her mind. Every now and then, a sudden wave of insecurity would wash over her and she wondered if he really did it. What if he was so angry this time that he went through with the threat he made earlier that evening? What if he wasn't coming home?

"I want your Daddy too," she whispered to her crying daughter as a single tear drop fell down her own cheek and disappeared into Elizabeth's fine hair.

TBC