Series: Snapshots of the Past
Story: The London Years
Chapter 12
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Previously: In the present, Lila showed up with news that Tom hadn't come home either
Summary: Abbey remembers the turning point in her marriage
- - -
Present day - July 1970
Abbey nervously carried two cups of tea into the living room. Her trembling hands placed one on the coffee table in front of the sofa. With her figures firmly grasped around the other, she took a seat next to Lila.
"Why did you leave the party?" she asked.
"Why did you?" Lila replied, causing Abbey to sit back with a twinge of uneasiness showing on her face. "What was your fight with Jed about?"
"Tonight? Lila, Jed and I have been having trouble for a while now."
"I know. Forgive me for saying so, but I've noticed." Her candor wasn't unexpected. "So what's the problem?"
With a halfhearted chuckle, Abbey answered, "What isn't?" She looked up to see the serious look on the other woman's face. "He didn't tell you?"
Lila shook her head. "He always pretends that everything is fine. I guess he figures if he complains, he'd have to tell me why he's so angry with you...why you're so angry with him. For what it's worth, he's never uttered one negative word about you, Abbey. Not a single one."
She felt a warm flush wash over her body. Hearing Lila's words made her remember the integrity of the man she married. "That's good to know."
Lila nodded and placed her cup on the coffee table before turning a sympathetic ear to her friend. "When did it start?"
- - -
Late November 1969
Bundled up in winter clothes, Lila and Abbey watched from the sidewalk as their husbands removed items from the moving truck. Jed lifted a box under his arms and walked down the ramp, grunting the entire time.
"What the hell do you have in here?" he asked Tom. "I feel like I'm carrying one of Abbey's suitcases."
His hostility was met with a snarky sigh from Abbey.
"Actually, that's my China," Lila told him.
"I don't ask. I just lift and carry," Tom whispered to Jed, who nodded and smiled.
Abbey opened her mouth to respond, but her voice betrayed her as her eyes were enthralled by the red pick-up truck that pulled up next to them. The door opened and two pairs of feet hit the pavement. Attached were two tall, dark, and handsome strangers wearing tight turtlenecks and jeans that seemed to hug every curve of their masculine lower bodies.
"Who are they?" Abbey asked with enough interest in her voice to cause Jed to snap his head back towards his wife.
"Some friends of Tom's. They're here to help."
Abbey eyed them up and down, taking in the sight with a flirtatious tilt of her head as one of them flashed her a smile. Jed looked at the man, his eyes darting back and forth between him and his wife. He set down the box he was holding, swaggered towards Abbey, and coiled his arm around hers.
She chuckled at his predictable habit. "You're so cute."
"Just remember I'm here," he lightheartedly warned.
"How could I forget?" she asked with a kiss to his cheek. "And just so we're clear, I'm just teasing you. So, you'll be relieved to know that I'm going to go back to our apartment to make us all some tea to warm us up."
"I'll help," Lila offered.
Abbey nodded then looked back at Jed. "Put your jacket on. It's freezing out here."
"Okay," he said, dismissing her with a wave of his hand.
As they traipsed next door, Abbey kept her head turned towards her husband, watching closely until he finally covered himself with his jacket.
Once she and Lila were inside, Abbey held on to the door, her eyes never leaving Jed. "Ten bucks says he'll rip that thing off the second we close the door."
With a wink of her eye, she closed herself off from the scene outside and joined Lila in the kitchen.
"I'm so excited about this," Lila admitted.
"Me too. It's nice to finally have friends as neighbors. The previous renters were an older couple who never really had much of an interest in socializing." Her words seemed forced, her mind distracted, as she gazed out the window across the room.
"What is it?"
She shook her head disapprovingly. "Jed took his jacket off. He never listens to me."
Lila turned the faucet to run the water in the sink. "Abbey, take it from someone who's been married for eight years. I can assure you it won't get any better over time."
"Eight years. Jed and I just celebrated our second anniversary. I have no doubt we'll be as happy and devoted to each other as you and Tom are in eight years."
"Oh eight years is nothing! Find me in 40 years and we'll talk," she laughed. "Actually, it takes a lot of work. A lot of communication, a lot of compromises."
"Like you not applying for that research position?" Abbey asked while filling up the kettle and placing it on the stove.
"Jed told you." Abbey nodded. "I wanted to...God knows I wanted to. But there's no way Tom would have gone along with it."
"I don't understand why." Abbey rested her elbows on the kitchen counter and listened attentively.
"He's not as understanding as you. When we came to London, I promised him as soon as I got my doctorate, we'd go back to New York. If I went to him now and said 'guess what, honey, we have to spend an extra two years here,' he would be livid."
There was no mistaking the look of pure confusion on Abbey's face. "Two years?"
"Yeah. The position is three years. It starts the final year of school and extends two years after. Didn't Jed tell you?"
She was desperate to cover up her ignorance. She straightened herself up and smiled. "Yeah. He did. He just said it was a three-year position so when you mentioned two years, it caught me off-guard."
"Hey!" Jed called from the doorway as he and Tom walked inside carrying a bottle of wine along with four glasses.
"What's all this?"
"Just what we need for a mini-celebration," Tom answered his wife.
"Abbey and I are making tea."
"We can have that if you'd like, but this is better!"
Abbey's stare cut right into Jed. She hid it with a grin, but so many raw emotions plagued her mind. She never would have believed the man she knew, the man she loved would have kept something so important from her. He hadn't even discussed it with her. She shot him a look, one of pure anger hidden under an illusion of cheerfulness to appease their guests.
She didn't fool Jed though. He handed her a glass and immediately sensed an something was wrong. "What's going on?"
She shook her head at him and bit her tongue, knowing she had to wait until they were alone. "Nothing."
Jed put his arm around her and Abbey fought off the urge to shrug him away. She silenced the little voice in her head that encouraged her to walk out of the room and swallowed back her emotions to put on a show for their new neighbors.
Tom and Lila joked and teased one another, but Abbey stood there, emotionally perplexed by Lila's revelation. She was so disengaged from the conversation that it was difficult not to notice. She saw the spark between her two guests, the love that radiated from every word, every touch between them. Then she looked at her own husband, her feelings now tainted by the secret he kept from her.
That evening, Jed propped himself up in bed, resting his back against the headboard. He watched as Abbey sat at her vanity and brushed her hair, each stroke a little more forceful than the last.
He finally broke the silence. "Are you going to tell me about it?"
"What?"
"Whatever it is that's got you so upset."
"I just put Lizzie to bed. I don't want to wake her."
He sat up, more alert than before. "Why would you talking to me wake her?"
"When were you going to tell me that you want to stay in London?"
There they were. The words he dreaded. They were angry and harsh. He looked down at the bed and it was obvious to her this was the last thing he was expecting. She looked in the mirror to see his reflection behind her, hoping he'd lift his head and give her an answer that would help her understand.
"I tried to tell you..." he started, refusing to meet her gaze.
"But you didn't. So I had to sit here smiling like an idiot while Lila told me the details of this position." He didn't respond. "Why did I have to hear it from her?"
He tried to inject some humor to lighten the mood. "Would you believe me if I told you I simply forgot to mention it?"
Abbey wasn't amused. She turned in her chair with a look so stern, it immediately gave him pause. "You want the job and you want to make a life here, don't you?"
"We already have a life here," he said softly.
"It was supposed to be temporary."
Her icy tone threatened to provoke his temper as well. "Look, I haven't made any decisions yet. I was approached and asked to apply. I said okay."
His stare followed her as she stood up with a fire he had never seen before. "YOU haven't made any decisions? I was under the impression these kinds of decisions were OUR decisions, not just yours."
"You know what I mean."
"No, I really don't. Not anymore." She turned her back to him.
"Don't turn away from me. Let's talk."
"There's nothing to talk about," she snapped as she spun around. "You already applied!"
"This is why I didn't tell you," he blurted out, causing her to turn on him once again.
"Ah, now we get to the truth of the matter. It wasn't because you were absent-minded, it was because you knew this is how I'd react."
He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Why does everything have to be planned out years in advance? Why does it have to be so structured with no room for fluctuation? Why can't you ever just let go and change plans now and then?"
Abbey couldn't believe her ears. Not only had he kept her out of the loop, he now implied that he did it intentionally. "Change plans? Like I did when I agreed to postpone my own life to follow you to London?"
Her voice was laced with a cold regret that stung him to his core. "Postpone your life? You're living your life! I didn't force you into this, Abbey. This was YOUR choice!"
"Yes and I thought it would be temporary! I trusted you when you told me that! I see now I was wrong."
"You weren't wrong. I'm not going to take the job," he conceded. "I just wonder why we can't even contemplate the possibility of staying in London."
"You can contemplate it all you want. Just do it without me." She hastily grabbed her pillow and began to walk away.
"Where are you going?"
Without another word, she slammed the door.
The next morning, Abbey stood next to her daughter's crib and watched as the little girl rolled herself up into a ball and stirred around. She was grateful that Elizabeth was a sound sleeper so she couldn't hear her mother tossing and turning all night. The night before was the first time she and Jed hadn't shared a bed since they became husband and wife.
Liz looked up at her mother with red, sleepy eyes and extended her arms. "Mommy!"
"Good morning, Angel."
Abbey put the toddler on her wobbly feet and took her hand to walk her into the kitchen. As soon as they turned the corner, Liz let go of her mother and called out for her father who was sitting at the table sipping a cup of coffee..
He pulled out his chair and reached for Liz, folding her up in his arms the second she hurried towards him. "Hey, Sweetheart. Did you sleep well?"
He exchanged a long, tense glance with Abbey then pulled Liz up into his lap and ran a few fingers through her baby-fine hair.
"She slept soundly," Abbey told him.
He couldn't stop looking at her and though he was tempted to avoid talking for fear of starting another argument, he decided to take his chances. "Hi."
"I need to start breakfast," she replied as she walked past him to get to the stove.
Jed stood up with Liz still in his arms. "I already made some eggs." She turned to face him and he answered her question before she asked it. "I've been up a while."
Abbey nodded silently. She didn't need him to tell her. She had heard him bustling around the apartment for hours. "Then I'll warm up some toast."
He walked Liz to her high chair and strapped her in, then approached Abbey. Even though she had her back to him, she could hear his footsteps getting closer. Part of her wanted to drop her guard and just talk to him. The other part prayed he wouldn't try to touch her out of fear of her reaction. She was still too angry.
But he did touch her. He placed two gentle hands on her shoulders and leaned down to press his lips into the soft skin of her neck. She shrugged him off and brushed past him. Jed realized there was a possibility she would reject his gesture, but he didn't anticipate the cloud of cool air that seemed to be surrounding her. It left him completely clueless about how to handle the situation.
He had never seen Abbey so upset before and he ached for the hurt he knew she was feeling. But he was also engulfed in his own anger - anger towards himself for not being honest with his wife, anger towards the helplessness he felt to make things right with her, and finally, anger towards her for not letting him. All those emotions clouded him in a fog of confusion until he no longer knew how to find a way out of the mess he had created.
"Hey, Lizzie, we'll be right back." He said to his daughter before he took Abbey's hand and led her into their bedroom.
"Jed, what are you doing?"
He walked her in and closed the door. "Is this how it's going to be all day?"
"I don't know. You have all the answers. You tell me."
"Let's talk about this, Abbey."
"The time to talk would have been months ago. Not now."
She reached for the door, but the anguish in his voice forced her to stop.
"Listen to me, please." Abbey kept one hand on the doorknob, but didn't move. "It was an offer by a professor I respect very much. He came to me, he asked me to apply. I didn't see the harm in it at the time." With no response from her, he reluctantly added, "I'll withdraw my name if it'll make you happy."
She heard the reluctant surrender. It only added fuel to the already-raging fire inside of her. Of course she wanted him to withdraw his name, but not because she forced him to. If he quit now, before knowing whether or not he'd get the offer, she feared he'd resent her for it forever.
It would be a pointless gesture anyway, as they both realized his token of remorse wouldn't erase the months he spent purposely misleading her. "Don't do me any favors."
The frigid response came with the twist of the doorknob and her exit from the room.
"Fine," Jed shouted back as he followed her into the kitchen.
Never had he felt such distance between him and his family as he did the moment he watched Abbey sit down and begin to feed Liz. He grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and left the apartment without a single word.
Liz turned around in her chair, reacting to the sound of the door. "Daddy?"
"He'll be home tonight, Sweetie," Abbey assured her while blinking back the tears that threatened to fall.
TBC