Series: Snapshots of the Past
Story: The London Years
Chapter 15
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
Previously: A Christmas truce helped Jed and Abbey enjoy the holiday
Summary: A few fun family minutes are interrupted by Lila's news
- - -
Present day - July 1970
Abbey stood in front of the window, gazing outside as the sunrise cast a beautiful red hue over the neighborhood. Lila's approach and comforting hand frightened her momentarily, causing her to snap back towards the older the woman.
"I'm sorry," she offered.
"It's okay," Abbey replied. "I'm just jumpy."
"I'm sure they're fine." Seemingly optimistic, Lila smiled.
"I love Jed so much," Abbey said as she twirled her wedding ring around her finger with her other hand. "I don't tell him that enough."
"He knows."
"No, I don't think he does." She retreated back to the sofa with Lila's eyes following her. "I spent most of the last few months wishing we were both people we're not, wishing we were you and Tom."
"Me and Tom? Why?"
"Because you're the fairy tale. You're what I wish we were, what I thought we were when we got married. You don't have secrets, you don't snipe at each other, you and Tom don't fight at all and that seems like all Jed and I do anymore."
"Abbey, Tom and I do fight. We fight a lot. If you only knew..."
"It doesn't matter anymore. It took me such a long time to realize that even when we fight, I love Jed like I never thought I could love anyone. My heart aches when I'm not with him. I just want him to come home so I can tell him that."
- - -
March 1970
Elizabeth examined the plastic fork her mother had placed in front of her. She turned the utensil around in a futile attempt to get a good handle on it and stick the prongs into the chocolate cake on her tray. She scooped it back up with just a smudge of frosting and nothing else. With furrowed brows that formed in frustration, she threw the fork down and delved into the cake with her hands.
"Look at you!" Abbey teasingly scolded her daughter the second she returned from the kitchen. "I would have helped you if you had just waited, you know."
Liz looked up at her mother and extended her messy hands. "Cake?"
Abbey laughed at the toddler's generosity. "No, Sweetie, I don't want any cake. I do think we need clean you up before Daddy gets home though."
Answering on cue, Jed barreled in through the front door. "I'm sorry. I know I'm late. I'm sorry."
Elizabeth twisted her body at the sound of his voice. "Daddy!"
"You're two hours late," Abbey reminded him.
"I know."
"It's your daughter's birthday."
Liz reached out her hands and whimpered to get her father's attention, but his eyes never left Abbey.
"I called. I told you I would be late." He paused before delivering the rest of the news. "And, unfortunately I'm only here for a while. I have to go back."
"What?"
"It's unavoidable."
"I'm sure it is," Abbey replied somewhat sincerely. She had resigned herself to the fact that Jed was doing the best he could juggling all his commitments, but it didn't stop her frustration from mounting every single day.
"It is, Abbey."
"It's her second birthday, Jed. The least you could do is show up."
"Don't. I feel guilty enough as it is."
"Maybe your guilt should tell you something."
"Do we have to do this tonight?"
Lizzie squirmed in her seat, hoping Jed would turn his attention towards her.
"No." She considered ending the conversation there, but quickly changed her mind. "How come Lila was home hours ago?"
"Lila has a different schedule today."
Abbey nodded and stacked two plates on her way to the kitchen. "I'm not trying to nag, I'm just wondering. She's in the same program you are. She does her research at certain times to make sure she has time to spend with Tom. Can't you coordinate your schedule like hers so you can spend some evenings at home?"
"No, I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because my work is different than Lila's and I just can't do it."
"I just think that if you figured out a way, it would really help us."
"Help us what?"
"Help us sort through everything. It'll give us time to talk, to figure out what's going on and where we're headed. It'll help us get along the way Tom and Lila do." There it was again. No matter what the situation, she had the uncanny ability to compare their marriage to Tom and Lila's.
Meanwhile, as her parents argued, Liz whined softly and held out her hands for her father.
"You can't model our marriage after theirs," he replied, evading Liz's arms once again.
Abbey spun around. "That isn't what I'm doing."
"That's EXACTLY what you're doing." His voice was steely enough to match her incredulous tone.
"And even if I was, what's the problem with that?"
"Everything."
"Why? Because their marriage is more successful than ours?" She walked around the table and approached her husband. "Because Tom and Lila actually come home at the end of the day and talk to one another?"
"I'm SO SICK of hearing about Tom and Lila!" he exploded, his hands slamming down on the table so hard that it silenced Abbey and caused Lizzie to back herself up against the back of her high chair. Jed turned away from his wife to catch his breath, then turned to face her again. "What do you want from me, Abbey? No matter how badly you want me to be Tom, I'm not."
"I never said I wanted you to be Tom."
"Not in so many words, but the way you look at me, the way you talk to me…you don't think I know that every single day, you're regretting this marriage? You don't think I know that you sit there and recount all the ways I've failed you?"
"That isn't true, Jed. None of it is true."
"It is true! It's ALL true!"
He trailed off as a plastic sippy cup hit him on the side of the head.
"Elizabeth Ann!" Abbey yelled. "You don't EVER throw things, especially at your father! You know better than that!" Feeling properly chastised, Liz lowered her head as Abbey cupped Jed's chin to lift his head. "Are you okay?"
He nodded. "She's mad at me because I screamed at you. And I'm sure the fact that I didn't pick her up when I walked in didn't help." He held out his hands to her, but Liz pushed them aside. "See?"
"She still knows better," Abbey replied.
"It's okay, Abbey. Really. I can't be mad at her for defending her mother." He unhooked Liz's tray and lifted her out of the chair. Liz resisted at first, but surrendered when he kissed her cheek and pressed his fingers into her back to hug her. "You're right, Lizzie. I shouldn't have yelled."
Abbey watched Liz grab at his face and gently rub her head against his, letting her lips make contact with his skin. "And now she wants to make up with you."
Liz let out a faint squeak when Jed held her up in his arms. "Is that what that is? Is that you saying you're sorry?"
"Sowwy," the toddler replied.
"I'm sorry too, Sweetheart," he said while pulling her back towards himself with hesitation. He was certain every second he was holding her, she was leaving handprints on the back of his jacket.
Liz pulled her hands in front of her and inspected the chocolatey mess. Jed pulled out the one finger she inserted in her mouth, but she fought him off and smeared the remainder of the chocolate on his cheeks.
"Lizzie," Jed whined, his head snapping around when he saw Abbey standing in the corner and softly laughing at the sight. "You think this is funny?"
"I do," she said with a full-fledged laugh. "It's all over your face."
He put Elizabeth on the ground and turned his back to Abbey. "You have a hell of a lot of nerve, Abigail."
His voice was so icy, so serious, that she had no idea he was tweaking her. She didn't even notice him grab a fist full of cake in his hand. "Jed, I was kidding. I didn't mean anything."
A trusting Abbey placed a hand on his shoulder and, in one quick motion, Jed whirled back around on her, splattering the cake over her lips and plastering the remnants on her nose. "Now THAT'S funny!"
He got a laugh out of Liz, but Abbey's eyes widened to twice their normal size. "You tricked me!"
"You got it, Babe!" He reached out his arms to her. "Get over here."
He tried to hug her, but as soon as his arm touched her, she swung her hand behind him to grab the cake, then separated their bodies, hitting him in the face with it and immediately backing away.
"Oh now you're going to get what's coming to you," he warned.
"Who's going to give it to me?" She darted back and forth behind the couch, daring him.
He scooped his hand into what was left of the dessert and took a few menacing steps towards her. "That would be me."
"Bring it on," she challenged.
Elizabeth stood in the middle of the room, her eyes followed her mother, then turned to her father, then back to her mother in confusion.
Jed and Abbey swayed calmly back and forth, the couch shielding them from one another. With a sudden jerk from Abbey, Jed stepped on the cushions and jumped over the side to grab her at the waist. With her back to him, he held her tight against her frame, smothering her with the chocolatey goo until he pushed her onto the sofa.
"You're going to pay for that, Josiah Bartlet!" She struggled as he held her down, his legs on top of hers, and her wrists pinned at her hips.
For the first time in months, she let her guard down. Her face lit up and that invigorating spark of fire was back. It made him smile, her sweet girlish laugh. She snickered for seconds and as she did, all Jed could think about was that it felt like old times between them. No anger. No bitterness. No resentment. Just Abbey. His heart swelled at the sight of the woman he loved with all his heart and soul.
"Even with your hair messed up and your face covered in chocolate, you are absolutely beautiful," he remarked.
Abbey reached behind his neck and pulled him down towards her lips. Jed relaxed his body and barely pressed his mouth into hers when he felt the unmistakable touch of a handful of cake being smeared into the back of his head by two-year-old hands.
He twisted his head around to confirm his suspicion. Liz clapped her messy hands together and chuckled at his reaction.
"You're awfully proud of yourself," he mocked.
Then, he unexpectedly rammed his hands under her arms and picked her up into the air settling her down on the sofa between himself and Abbey. Liz erupted in laughter as her parents tickled her mercilessly, only letting go when her voice caught in her throat and she began to cough.
"Are you okay, Sweetie?" Abbey asked while gently patting the toddler's back.
Liz nodded enthusiastically, eking out a few more coughs in the process. Jed slid himself off the cushion and sat Liz upright.
"More!" she exclaimed when she regained control.
"More?" Jed echoed.
"You just had a little fit, Baby Doll," Abbey added.
"Tickle Daddy!" she insisted instead.
"Okay, I'll tickle Daddy. You want help me tickle Daddy?" Abbey pulled on Jed's hand until he fell back onto the sofa where she and Lizzie could simultaneously attack him.
Seeing his little girl so gleeful, Jed played along with the ambush, pretending to fight back against his daughter's strength. Abbey held him down so Liz could climb on top of him, her tiny hands curled into fists as she tried to mimic what the way he had been tickling Abbey.
Liz stopped abruptly when the doorbell rang.
"Who's that?" Abbey asked her husband.
"I don't know, but none of us are in any shape to answer it." Jed reached for a wash cloth in the kitchen and headed towards the door as Abbey picked Liz up in her arms and ran a wet paper towel over both of their faces.
"Lila, hi," he greeted their neighbor as he opened the door.
"Have you heard?"
Not recognizing the reason for her zealous response, he answered, "Heard what?"
Lila took a few steps inside before noticing Abbey and Elizabeth covered in cake.
"Sorry. We were just celebrating Elizabeth's birthday," Abbey told her. "You're still coming to the party tomorrow?"
"Of course." Lila ran her hands over Lizzie's head.
"Lila, heard what?" Jed repeated.
"You're a finalist! I really think you're going to get this position!"
Jed's facial expression was all Abbey needed to see how he was affected by the news. An exorbitant smile overwhelmed his features. When he exchanged a glance with his wife, his lips lost their curve and his grin immediately vanished.
Abbey tipped her head and took Liz's hand. "Come on, Lizzie, let's go get you cleaned up."
Jed watched quietly as mother and daughter left the room.
"Jed?" Lila called out, trying to get his attention. "Jed? Did you hear what I said?"
"Huh?" He turned a confused look to his guest. "Yeah, I did. How did you hear?"
"A friend of mine is Harden's TA. Come on! Get excited! It's what you've been working for and dreaming about. It just might happen and you hardly care."
"I care. I do."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Is it Abbey? Did I interrupt..."
"No. No, everything's fine."
In the bedroom, Abbey leaned her head against the door and strained to hear the conversation.
"Are you sure?" Lila asked him.
"I'm sure."
"Okay," she reluctantly accepted his answer. "I'm so happy for you! This is your launchpad!" She put her arms around him to pull him into a friendly hug. "So, this weekend, we'll celebrate - the four of us."
"Sounds great," he replied.
His indifference was obvious to Lila, but he was reluctant to tell her why. She excused herself without another word. Jed just stared at the door until Abbey carried Liz out of the bedroom.
"So, a finalist, huh?"
"Yeah."
"What happens now?"
"One-on-one interviews."
Abbey set Liz on her feet. "That won't be a problem for you." She avoided Jed's gaze. "So at some point, I guess we're going to have to talk about the future."
"I don't have it yet, Abbey."
"The rest seems to be a formality."
"Yeah."
Silence filled the room as the tension rose once again.
"What do you want to eat before you go back out there?" Abbey finally asked.
"It doesn't matter. Whatever you feel like eating," he answered.
The strain the situation had forced onto their marriage was more prevalent than ever. There was no fighting or screaming, but the voiceless avoidance of the subject seemed to be even worse.
Jed took a seat at the table and watched Abbey pace through the kitchen, randomly mumbling to Elizabeth. With his eyes glued to her, his mind wandered to the stinging sensation he felt upon the realization that she never congratulated him for his successful placement among the final candidates. He knew he had no right to expect her to, but her unimpressed response tarnished the accomplishment nonetheless.
TBC