A/N: Inspired by Peril at the pirate school by Bradman, Tony. Have fun!
Number 4, Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey, was an ordinary little house, in an ordinary little street, and in it lived a very ordinary family. There was Petunia and Vernon Dursley and their eleven-year-old son, Dudley.
Oh, and then there was Petunia's nephew, Harry Potter, an orphan that lived in their cupboard under the stairs, though they would have preferred he lived elsewhere completely. They would have preferred this simply because Harry disrupted their ordinary little life by being something extraordinary.
When one morning, some days after his eleventh birthday, Harry Potter received a soggy letter his uncle wanted to throw it away.
"We will have none of that here!" Uncle Vernon shouted, grabbing it off him before he could open it, to hold it out of reach.
"Give it back! It's mine!" Harry jumped for the letter. He never got a letter before. Who would write to him? He didn't care that it looked as if the postman had dragged it through a puddle, there was no way he was going to let his uncle throw it away. And what did he mean we will have none of that here, none of what? "Give it back!" He jumped again.
At this fuss Harry's cousin looked up from where he was shovelling eggs into his round face. For once he and his dad were not on a diet—though they were still quite bulky—and he was using the time between diets wisely by eating them out of the house. So it cost a lot to take his attention away from his food. "What's that?"
"Never you mind," Uncle Vernon said. "Eat your breakfast!"
"Gimme!" Harry yelled, jumping again. His heart was beating a mile a minute now. It must be something really important if his uncle snapped at Dudders!
"This goes straight to the garbage," Uncle Vernon yelled, his round face turning bright purple. "And you can go to your room!"
Surprisingly it was his aunt that stopped his uncle from tearing the letter up. Surprisingly, because Aunt Petunia liked to make Harry miserable, and taking his first letter away would make him very miserable indeed. "Wait, Vernon," she said, pulling the bacon off the hob so that it wouldn't burn. "Let me see that."
"But Pet…you said…"
"I know, but that doesn't look like the one Lily got."
The letter passed from Harry's uncle to his aunt, and this time Harry didn't jump. He knew better. He watched his aunt open the yellow envelope, and they all stared as sand poured onto the floor.
Aunt Petunia pulled a damp piece of paper out and unfolded it. She read it silently, taking forever. And then she fell down on the nearest chair with a funny little laugh. "Well now," Aunt Petunia said, sounding strange, "...isn't this a surprise."
"What does it say, Pet?" Uncle Vernon asked.
Thankfully she read it out loud.
"Ahoy there, matey," Aunt Petunia read.
You have been accepted at The Jolly Barnacle, a boarding school for pirate boys and girls.
Term begins on the 1st of September. Be at Felixstowe, 9 o'clock sharpish. You don't want the ship to sail off without you!
Your Skipper,
Tom Gale
Required items, one each:
Duffel bag
Spyglass
Eyepatch
Compass
(Firstyears are not allowed to have pets.)
Required books:
Pirate Lingo by Billy The Mute
Marine Biology (year one) by Cassandra Hook
Navigation 101 by Neve R. Stray
The Pirate's Best World Map
Clothes, blue or red:
Two sea jerseys with stripes
Two sea shirts with stripes
Two pairs of knee-high sea trousers
Two pairs of stripy pyjamas
One pair of fuzzy bunny slippers, pink
Six pairs of sea socks
Six pairs of sea pants
One pair of sea boots
"Pirates?" Dudley asked, forgetting to chew. "I want to go!"
"You said it's not the same as my mum's letter," Harry said, trying to take it all in. "She got one too?" Pirate school? Who goes to pirate school? It must be someone's idea of a joke.
"No, it isn't." His aunt got a funny look on her face. She stood, dropping the letter on the table. "Never you mind that. It seems you're a pirate, Harry. Congratulations." Her mouth twitched strangely.
"But… but…" Harry sputtered. Was his aunt trying not to laugh?
His aunt ignored him and went to reheat the bacon.
"But-but…" Uncle Vernon protested. "He's a pirate? Not a—"
"I want to go!" Dudley shouted, spewing eggs. "I want to be a pirate!"
"You'll go to Smeltings and you'll like it," Uncle Vernon snapped, and Harry never learned what he was about to say because Dudley put up an epic fuss. Harry quickly slipped the damp letter off the table and into his pocket. A joke or not, it was his first letter, and he was going to read it in his cupboard as soon as breakfast was done.
The summer flew by. Harry's aunt and uncle told everyone he was going to St Brutus's Secure Centre for Incurably Criminal Boys. The neighbours believed them and looked at Harry with pity. Dudley told quite a few people that Harry was going to be a pirate, but everyone thought that was such a silly notion that he soon stopped when he saw he was getting a reputation for telling tall tales.
One day his aunt brought a duffel bag. She threw it on Harry's little cot under the stairs, saying nothing. The next she brought fuzzy bunny slippers and two sets of pyjamas. It looked like she got them in a bargain bin, but it was for once not his cousin's old castoffs and Harry couldn't stop looking at them. She spent a week searching for the map, and when she threw it into Harry's cupboard she told him not to lose it because she won't buy him another one. She hoped he didn't think money grew on her back! It looked old and fragile and like it had cost a lot of money. Harry unrolled it and it was indeed a Pirate's Best World Map; it said so in curly letters on the top. It was also very unlike the one they had in school. For one, the school one said Atlantic Ocean and this one said Here Be Dragons.
Every time his aunt brought him another item on the list she looked like she was keeping the funniest secret, so despite all his aunt's shopping, Harry had a hard time believing that this was not some elaborate joke still. Maybe they were tired of him and decided to get rid of him? Everyone knew pirates didn't exist anymore. His aunt was definitely not acting like her usual self. There was a lot less shouting at him too.
At last it was the morning of the 1st of September. Harry's duffel bag was packed and bulging. He was wearing a blue striped shirt, knee-high trousers, socks and boots, sitting nervously in the car behind his aunt and uncle. Dudley had thrown a massive tantrum and had been sent to stay at his friend, Piers's house.
All too soon they arrived at Felixstowe. After stopping to ask a sailor the way his uncle drove to the very end of the port where a massive ship was waiting. Unlike the other sleek modern ships they had passed, this one was made of wood and had three tall masts with old-fashioned sails. Children wearing the same type of clothes he had on were climbing up and down the masts like busy monkeys. Harry couldn't believe his eyes. This looked like an actual school for pirates!
"Here you are," his aunt said, not moving to get out of the car. "Don't think we'll write."
"I won't."
Another car stopped beside them. Harry watched a blonde-haired girl jump out. She looked his age and was dressed in a red striped shirt and had a parrot on her shoulder. Her hair shone brightly in the morning sun, the two plaits she had tied it in bobbing as she hopped around.
"And you needn't write us," Aunt Petunia continued.
"All right."
The girl was hugging what must be her father, protesting when he took the parrot off her shoulder and added it to the one on his. Her father was a burly man with a peg leg and an eyepatch and a magnificent black beard that hung halfway down his barrel chest and now he had a parrot on each of his wide shoulders but somehow it didn't look funny at all.
"Are you listening?" Harry's aunt said.
"Yes, Aunt Petunia."
The girl's mother was removing a duffel bag very similar to Harry's from the boot and swung it easily over her shoulder. Harry tried not to stare. She was dressed in colourful layers of skirts and sported a black hat on which another parrot sat. When she smiled, a gold tooth winked in the sun. It really, really was real—
"Then get out of the car and get going," Harry's aunt snapped. "We have things to do!"
Next to them, the little family hugged a teary goodbye.
"Yes, Aunt Petunia."
Harry got out and dragged his heavy duffel bag with him. His family drove off with a screech of rubber the second he closed the door. He stood there, breathing in the salty, oily air and knew he should be sad but it was as if an enormous weight had fallen off his shoulders. It would be months before he saw them again! Life suddenly looked great.
"Ahoy there, children!" a woman called from the ship. "Hurry up now and say goodbye to your parents. We are about to depart!"
"Ahoy! Ahoy!" the parrots called.
The little family hugged a last time. The girl took her duffel bag from her mum, slung it easily over her shoulder, and turned to Harry.
"Ahoy, matey," she said, sniffling back her tears. "My name is Prissy, and I don't want to go to pirate boarding school."
"Uh… ahoy? You don't?"
"No, I know everything about being a pirate already. What about you?"
"Only what I read in books," Harry admitted. "My name is Harry."
Just then they were called again to hurry up, and the two of them jogged up a bridge of steps from the ground to the top of the ship.
The woman met them at the top and Harry saw she was the opposite of Prissy's mother. Short and stout, she had two warts on her chin with grey hair growing out of it and her teeth were as yellow as cooked corn. "Welcome aboard," she said with a wide smile. "I am First Mate Jane." She looked at a clipboard. "Jack and Prissy, is it? You are the last to arrive."
"Actually my name is Harry," Harry said.
"Is that so?" She made a notation on the clipboard. "Well then, come aboard, let me show you to your cabin."
Prissy turned to wave a last goodbye to her parents and the parrots, the birds squawking "Ahoy! Ahoy!" from below, and then Harry and Prissy followed First Mate Jane into the ship.
First Mate Jane walked in a funny bowlegged way, and the first step he took, Harry understood why. The ship swayed under him, and it was hard to walk straight. Prissy, he saw, had no trouble walking, and he tried to copy her. They made a detour to the kitchen, which was called a galley. Harry and Prissy saw the mess hall where they would take their dinners, and Harry learned the corridors were called companionways.
He learned a lot on the tour, but Prissy looked bored. Also, First Mate Jane may look scary, but she ended up being quite friendly and extremely talkative. She explained that it was a working school and that they would have chores on the ship like any adult pirate; they would also be expected to pirate when need be. She showed them the classrooms, which looked like any Harry had been in, from the familiar wooden desks up to the blackboard in front, and finally they came to their rooms.
"Firstyears are all in one cabin," she said, showing them into theirs. "There're not many of you this year."
Six hammocks hung two-by-two, one above the other, against the walls. Four duffels were stacked below two pairs. They were told to put their stuff away and go top deck to set sail.
When the First Mate left them, Prissy set her duffel next to Harry's and looked at him curiously. "Is your family name Blackbeard by any chance?"
"No, it's Potter."
"Mm. That's not any pirate name I've heard of. Do you have any pirates in your family?"
"I don't think so. The first I heard pirates still existed was when I got the letter, and my aunt didn't say anything." Except that it wasn't the same as his mum's. Whatever that meant.
"Mm," she said again. Her face scrunched up thoughtfully, and she twiddled with the end of one of her plaits. "Say Yar."
"Yar?"
"Yeah. But say it like me. Yaahrrr."
"Yaahrrr," Harry repeated after her, and she frowned even harder.
"Oh, dear. It's as I thought."
"What?" Was he exposed? Had this been a mix-up and should he be in St Brutus instead? Harry's stomach sank at the thought. He hadn't thought his yaahrrr too different from hers.
"We'll have to teach you everything!" Prissy said, clapping her hands. "Don't worry, a week and you'll be a pirate like the rest of us. Flip for the top or bottom?"
"I don't mind, you decide," Harry said, his mind struggling to catch up.
"No, no. You should always flip for everything. It's the Pirate's Way." She removed a gold coin from her pocket and called it a doubloon. It looked old and scuffed; one side had a picture of someone's head and the other looked like a mangy dog. "Heads or tails."
"Tails."
It was heads and Prissy chose the top. "I don't mind either but I think it's safer if I take the top until you're used to it." She grabbed his hand. "Come on, let's go!"
Up topside nearly everyone was busy, scurrying away at their tasks. A short pirate was calling out orders. Shouts of "Aye, aye, sir!" and "Ready!" were returned. Lines were cast off, anchors were raised, and student pirates were climbing between the sails, yelling back and forth when their tasks were completed. Harry expected all the sails to be let out in full and waited excited to see it, but only a few were let halfway out.
"We should stay out of the way," Prissy said and moved Harry to the railings where a group of their age was standing. There were two girls and two boys, and they were all dressed in blue or red striped shirts like them. Clutching the railing to stay on his feet, Harry saw they were being towed out by a few small boats with engines.
"Ahoy there," Prissy called to the other four and said, "I'm Prissy Blackbeard and this is Harry. I know you, Tim Roberts, how's your Mum's leg?"
Tim was a redhead and his face was filled with freckles as red as his hair. "Jolly well," he said. "She says it takes some getting used to and put a rubber on the bottom of the peg to get more grip. Jack didn't come?"
"Oh, he went to another school," Prissy said. "It's all hush-hush so I can't talk about it. You can ask him when he's on his holidays."
"I will for sure! I was looking forward to seeing him. Not that I mind you, Harry. The more the merrier. Ahoy."
They all agreed on that and said "Ahoy, Harry," and Harry stopped himself just in time from saying hello and said ahoy back. The other boy's name was Bob Hornigold, and the girls were called Sally England and Meg O'Malley. Only Bob had an older sibling on the ship and he said his sister thought Pirate school was a hoot. They were all from famous pirate families, Harry learned and was curious to hear he was a Potter and did not know anything about pirating or sailing.
"Never heard of a Potter before," Bob said.
"There's always a first for everything," Prissy answered. "Harry will just have to make a name for himself."
This turned the conversation away from his inexperience and they were suddenly all jealous of Harry. Turns out it was hard living under the shadow of famous pirates, you had to work double at making a name for yourself. They made an impromptu pact to help Harry learn everything in no time. Harry slowly relaxed. He liked the kids, and they seemed not to mind him either. And also Dudley wasn't here to run anyone off, which was a new experience in itself.
Once they were clear of the harbour the boats fell away and then the short pirate called out even more orders, his voice bellowing. The sails were unfurled and billowed out in the wind. A cheer went up around the crew and students. Away she goes!
"Toe a line!" First Mate Jane called once they were in the open seas and all the students hurried down to form a line on the deck. Harry and the other first years joined them. The short pirate waited for another to put down a crate which he stepped on. He had one flinty grey eye, the other hidden under a black patch and he gave them all a slow look over. Harry shivered.
"That's Captain Tom," Prissy whispered. "He was a real swashbuckler in his time."
"Pipe down there," First Mate Jane said and Prissy stopped talking and blushed.
"Ahoy me hearties," Captain Tom finally said, sticking his thumbs into his suspenders. "A hearty welcome back to the old students and a heartier ahoy to the new. My name is Captain Tom Gale but you should call me Skipper." He introduced the crew. There was First Mate Jane who oversaw the day-to-day activities and Peg Leg Jones who surprisingly had both legs and wore a pressed blue suit and tie and looked nothing like a pirate, he was in charge of the lessons, then there was One-Eyed Brian who had two eyes, Crazy Barbara whose eyes looked in opposite directions, Sneaky Sue who looked quite motherly in a bright pink dress, Cookie, and finally Short Jim who was actually the tallest person currently on the ship. Skipper finished off with a rousing speech.
"You are here to learn one thing and one thing only, to be pirates!"
The students all responded with a loud "Yaahrrr!"
"You'll be worked down to the bone!"
"Yaahrrr!"
"No quarter will be given!"
"Yaahrrr!"
"Failure is not a word we know!"
"Yaahrrr!"
"Mutineers will walk the plank!"
"Yaahrrr!"
"To your stations!"
"Yaahrrr!"
Everyone scattered, leaving only Harry's group behind and they were taken down to a classroom by Peg Leg Jones.
A funny thing happened at roll call. When Peg Leg Jones came to Prissy and Jack Blackbeard, Prissy said, "It's Harry, actually," and Harry would have said more but Peg Leg Jones made a notation on his list and started with the class.
For the next hour they were taught basic safety onboard a ship and phrases like Stand from under! which was a notice to those below that something was coming down. And Avast! which meant to stop what you were doing and fast. They were also given their schedules for their classes and had to learn their first pirate song to be sung when they swabbed the deck which was what they called mopping the floors, a task only for the first years and to be done straight after breakfast. Trying to memorise the thirteen verses of What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor, Harry forgot all about the name thing.
"It's so boring!" Prissy said when class was over. "I mean, the song was great fun, who doesn't want to sing about rum and boobies, but we know all the rest already, sorry Harry."
"It's okay. I'm only glad they're teaching it, I would hate to look like an idiot." He was probably looking one now, swinging from side to side on the rocking floor, constantly bumping into the walls. The worst was when the floor rose up and down. Everyone else relaxed their knees and bobbed but Harry never did it in time and each time he shot up, coming down hard. "How long until I get my sea legs?"
"A week," Prissy said.
"A month," Bob said.
"There's no science to it," Meg said. "It happens when it happens."
"A day or two," Tim offered.
"Sometimes never," Sally said, then looked immediately sorry. They were fast learning she was the pessimistic type. "Sorry."
Luckily they had been sent to the galley to peel the potatoes for lunch and there they were able to sit on crates.
"We're going to do all the menial tasks," Sally moaned. "I want to climb the rigging and fight whales!"
"We're going to fight whales?" Meg asked. "I read all the brochures it said nothing about fighting whales. Where did it say that?"
"They didn't. But when I am on my grandpa's ship we fight whales. Grandpa says this is modern times and we shouldn't fight people anymore."
"Oh, I think it's alright to fight people if you're a pirate," Bob said. "The seas are ours, my Mum says, others have to pay for their passage."
Prissy was against fighting whales, she was very much into Greenpeace, and Save the Whales was practically their motto. A heated debate started. Very soon peelers were brandished and they only stopped when Cookie came to see what the fuss was about. To Harry's great surprise they were fast friends again when they returned to peeling.
"Don't worry about it," Tim said, seeing his worried looks. "This is the pirate way, it keeps us active. You don't want to get bored on a ship surrounded by nothing but water. I can't wait until we get our cutlasses in the third year."
And it seemed he was right. Three more fights broke out before bedtime and they brandished whatever was on hand as a weapon, fighting until they were exhausted or until someone older came to put a stop to it. At sunset the command, Station deck lookouts! and Lay down from the masthead! was given and the lights were lit all over the ship. Down all hammocks! was the order to go to sleep. Heave out there! was the call to wake up.
The week was one of the busiest in Harry's life. Food was great and for once he wasn't the only one helping in the kitchen—galley—so that made it fun. There were loads of pirate cereals to choose from, parrot-shaped cookies with icing on were always available, lunch was usually a hearty cooked meal with as many potatoes as you wanted to fill the empty spots and dinner was usually grilled sandwiches and hearty soups with watered down rum. All the exercise made everyone pretty hungry but there was always enough left over for the ship cats.
Their mornings were filled with menial chores, swabbing the decks and helping in the galley. After that, they had all sorts of lessons. There were Yar and Har classes with Short Jim where they learned the pirate lingo and the Pirate Code. Maths with Peg Leg Jones because apparently you need mathematics for map reading. Marine biology with Crazy Barbara where Harry learned sea dragons actually existed as did many other creatures he had thought mythical, even mermen.
Wednesdays were laundry days and all the years pitched in to wash their clothes in big soapy barrels and hung them on lines stretching from bow to stern. That was the only day they weren't able to smell the salty sea, as everything reeked of laundry detergent.
Some nights they had to stay up late to learn how to navigate by the stars or man the crow's nest, keeping watch with an older student. And some days felt like an extended PE lesson with all the climbing and swimming and working the sails and the canons and even having cutlass lessons with One-Eyed Brian where they were given wooden cutlasses. They got to keep those, and after that their skirmishes were much more fun even if more violent.
The first day Harry got into one it was with Meg, and when he pulled his cutlass, shouting, "I'll cleave you to the brisket, you bilge-sucking daughter of a biscuit eater!" they all cheered.
Four days in he realised he had found his sea legs, and Cookie baked a celebratory cake.
One thing that all the pirates loved was a good yarn. A tall yarn a short yarn, a funny yarn, a sad one, they loved them all. And since there was no telly on the ship they all gathered topside in the evenings for story times and impromptu plays. Rum flavoured drinks and bowls full of popcorn were passed around and everyone had the best time. And pranks! Pirates loved to play pranks on each other. The ship was full of fart cushions and itching powders.
The week also had its odd moments. For one, sometimes the classes were more a game of twenty questions where the pirate teachers seemed more interested in the students' lives instead of teaching the lesson. For art, they were made to draw their parent's ships. For history, they had to write essays on their families and extra points for listing everyone currently on board. Harry learned a lot about his friends which was nice, but for some reason the pirates thought he was clowning around when he wrote about the Dursleys and Privet drive instead and he got a few detentions until Prissy told him to copy her stuff.
And that was the other thing. At the start of it, everyone thought his name was Jack which he had quickly learned was Prissy's brother. But it wasn't until the end of the week that Harry realised the Pirate Teachers all thought he was Harry Blackbeard. All because of Prissy.
At the beginning whenever someone had said, Jack Blackbeard? Prissy had piped up, saying, "No, it's Harry."
She never corrected the last name.
The first few times he hadn't noticed. Then he did and hadn't thought anything much of it. When she didn't correct the Skipper, Harry realised something was up and then he thought of all the times she covered for him when he didn't know something. The times when he failed at a task and she failed hers on purpose so that the crew member just clicked his tongue at them. And the others had taken her lead and did the same; not everyone knew everything but they all knew more than Harry. He had thought it was just her—and their—way of trying to make him feel included. But it wasn't, was it? She was covering for the fact that he wasn't Jack Blackbeard, a pirate's son.
It took three more days before he managed to corner her alone in the hold to ask about it.
"I think you got my brother's letter," Prissy said. "Sorry, Harry."
Harry sat down on the nearest crate; the words had taken all the wind out of him. It was true then. His worst fears. "So I'm not supposed to be a pirate."
"No. Sorry," she said again, wringing her hands together. "If it helps I think you're a good one!"
She did? But did it matter if he wasn't supposed to be here? He tried to remember what she said about her brother that first day but it felt so long ago and so many important things had happened in between. "Why aren't you telling on me? Doesn't your brother want to be a pirate? Isn't he a pirate anyway? If he's eleven that means you are twins, right? And he would have grown up on your ship…"
"Of course he's a pirate. But pirate school is boring we only come to make connections with other pirate families, you know. We can do most of this in our sleep." She paused. "Well okay the theory is new, some of it, but still we can get by without it."
"Oh." He thought about it. "If you tell on me then he has to come back. So where's he now? Jack."
"Some other school, but we were sworn to secrecy. I'm not allowed to talk about it."
Another school? Could it be his?
"Did he get my letter?"
"His name was on the envelope," Prissy said defensively. "It was his letter."
"You just said I got his letter."
Prissy looked away.
Okay, Harry's name had been on his envelope too. He said so. They both stayed quiet for a long time thinking about it. Harry had a niggling thought, sure the names were on the envelopes but the lists still said Jack Blackbeard. Was Jack impersonating him in the other school telling them all he was Jack Potter? Or were they in the right places and was it just a mistake of whoever wrote the lists?
"Maybe…" Prissy started hesitantly. "Maybe you're supposed to be here, after all, everyone has to start somewhere, don't they? I could tell them if you want, I just didn't want to take the chance and spoil it for Jack. You know how adults can get on things like this." She made her voice deep, like her Dad's, Harry supposed, and said, "You're a pirate, Jack, you can't be an astronaut…"
Harry thought about it some more. No one had ever told him he had to be anything. If Jack was off being an astronaut and not somewhere feeling angry that Harry was taking his place it might be okay. Who's to say the other letter was meant for Harry anyway? It could be yet another kid's and Harry would have to go to St Brutus. "I can pretend to be your brother," Harry said and Prissy's face lit up.
"Oh, could you!" she shouted gleefully and grabbed him into a hug, squeezing the breath out of him. "I'll be the best sister you've ever had!"
Harry laughed. "You'll be the only one I've ever had so it's not going to be too difficult."
On Harry's insistence, they told the other four all about it that night. He didn't want to lie to his new friends. He'd always been a bit of a loner, partly because of his cousin, bullying him, partly because he felt like an outsider, always the one dressed oddly, but here he was just one of many dressed oddly and he finally thought he might have found a place where he was welcome.
"That makes so much more sense," Meg said and he felt bad for a moment, wondering if he had it all wrong, but then she continued. "Good for you, Harry. If I had to choose anyone to be here instead it would be you."
"Aye," the rest of them said.
Harry laughed in his hammock, making it swing, and went: "Yaahrrr!"
"Stash it there!" A pirate prefect called from the companionway.
Everyone giggled and for a while they were quiet, starting to dose. Until Tim whispered, "Mateys, I think Sneaky Sue is up to something."
Sneaky Sue was their Navigation teacher. She taught them how to read charts and plot a course. Everything about her appearance was soft, she was short and plump and wore floral dresses under her leathers. Still, Harry had learned that a pirate's name was given either because you were the opposite of it or because you embodied it and the opposite of plump, or so Meg said, was not sneaky. This was her first year teaching here and none of the pirate students liked her. Not even the older ones. She expected you to be quiet in class and not even make a rustle or she would threaten to keelhaul you. (No one got keelhauled but they did get extra chores that sometimes kept them up well past their bedtimes.)
Everyone listened to Tim explain why he thought she was up to something and thought he had a point. They decided they would start to pay attention.
And learned it wasn't just Sneaky Sue.
After breakfast, they had Navigation 101 and Sneaky Sue put a map of the Caribbean on the blackboard and called Prissy forward. "I think it is time to show us what you've learned," she said. "Why don't you show the class how you planned your last voyages on The Black Swan." That was Prissy's father's ship. "Show us where you've been recently."
That was exactly what she had asked Meg yesterday and Tim the day before but in different words. Maybe she thought they were stupid. Prissy stood in front of the class and showed an elaborate route and explained how the tides and the weather influenced their decisions and what islands they visited. It was quite interesting and Harry paid attention in case he was called on to do the same. Afterwards, when class was done Prissy said it had all been lies. She was a pirate's daughter and knew when to keep a secret.
The next class was the same. Yesterday they learned about angles and speed and distance and velocity and today One Eyed Brian taught them all about cannons and how to load them and they practised making cannonballs. They even got to fire some and learned what to shout before. Only One Eyed Brian kept asking Harry how many cannons The Black Swan had and was quite surprised to learn only three. (Harry had answered the first number that came to mind and Prissy had nearly bent double laughing.) Brian didn't believe Harry at all so Harry doubled down and explained how his father, the famous Blackbeard needed no more than three cannons to take care of any vermin on the high seas and did Brian want to fight him on it? Yaahhrr!
They had Maths next, with Peg Leg Jones. They discussed the different values of pirate money and what you could get for pearls and diamonds on the black market. Peg Leg Jones said the best way to learn how to do it was to use their parent's treasures as examples and they were told to list them down and count them.
"Today it was you two," Tim said, "yesterday they wanted to know everything about Bob's family and the day before that mine."
The six of them gathered in the hold after lunch. After lunch was when everyone took a break for an hour to let the food settle, so they had nothing pressing to do.
"It's obvious," Harry said. "They're gathering information to steal your families' treasures."
The others nodded and Harry blushed, happy that he could contribute.
"What should we do?" he asked.
"We fight them," Prissy said. "Yaahhrr!"
"They haven't done anything yet," Harry reminded her.
Tim thought they should tell someone.
Bob said, "That won't work. I told my sister when we had lunch and she said we should concentrate on our schoolwork and not imagine things."
"Maybe we are imagining things," Sally offered. "Teachers can't be bad." Everyone looked at her. "What?"
"Were you shipschooled?" Meg asked.
"Yes?"
"That explains it," Meg said. Then Meg explained to her, "Most teachers aren't bad but there's nothing worse than a bad teacher and I think we are dealing with a whole barrel of the baddest ones."
"Let's tell Skipper," Harry said. "If he thinks we're imagining it we can talk again."
But they couldn't find Skipper. Everyone that they asked said Skipper was somewhere else and when they looked there it was only to find someone telling them he had just left for yet another part of the ship. They returned to their cabin with handfuls of cookies to discuss their options.
"Who can we trust?" Harry asked. "Surely we can find someone to help?"
But it seemed impossible. So far they were suspicious of Sneaky Sue, One-Eyed Brian and Peg Leg Jones, but Crazy Barbara was Sneaky Sue's best friend and she could be in on it too, and who knows who else also. They didn't know who to trust.
"If only we had evidence," Sally said. "Then we can make the kids listen, like Bob's sister." Everyone looked at her. "What?"
"Sally, you're the best!" Meg said and rushed over to hug her breathless. "We're going to find evidence!"
They decided to pair off and go search the teachers' cabins. Everyone was resting and they might find some of the pirate teachers in their cabins so they had their stories ready. They would feign adoration and say they were bored and were hoping for a yarn. That was what pirates called their stories.
Harry teamed up with Prissy. The ship was quiet, the only sound the normal creaking and groaning of the planks underfoot, and the companionways were empty when they slipped out of their cabin. They went up and down ladders and had it been a week earlier Harry would be decidedly lost after the second one but by now they'd swabbed all the floors so many times that he knew the ship like the back of his hand.
They crept past the First Mate's cabin and Harry jumped with nerves when he heard a loud cruel laugh.
"First Mate's parrot," Prissy reminded him and he giggled in relief.
Up and up they climbed, to Sneaky Sue's cabin but when they reached it, it was only to hear voices talking in hushed tones behind the door. Harry thought they would have to go back but Prissy had another idea.
"Let's see who is in with her and then we know what cabins are empty," she said.
The only way to see was to go through the door or to hang outside the porthole. Luckily Harry had learned to abseil down the side of the ship two days ago when he was given a knife and told to remove barnacles as punishment for Harry drawing Number 4, Privet drive instead of The Black Swan. Prissy had learned to do the same when she was three she said. They climbed to the upper deck, tied ropes around their middles and abseiled down the outside of the ship. The swell of the sea made them swing back and forth and when they reached the round porthole they had to cling to the frame or be swung off. Prissy grinned and Harry knew why. He was having the time of his life too.
They peeked through the thick glass and saw Sneaky Sue, Crazy Barbara and Peg Leg Jones sitting around a table with the maps they had drawn in class, laughing and drinking rum.
"Look!" Harry pointed. In the corner of the cabin, their Skipper was tied up to a chair. No wonder they couldn't find him. Thankfully the Skipper looked no worse for wear, he was even sipping rum.
"Sink me!" Prissy hissed. "Those lily-livered, bilge-sucking scurvy dogs!"
They scrabbled to open the porthole a crack so they could hear what was being said but just as they managed the ship rolled on a wave and they were flung off, swinging wide out at the end of their ropes. Then the ship rolled to the other side and they swung back, only Harry had used up all his luck and he cannoned into the porthole head first.
"Shiver me timbers!" Peg Leg yelled. "It's the landlubber!"
"Action stations!" Sneaky Sue yelled, dropping her rum all over the map Prissy had drawn. "Catch him!"
Hands grabbed for Harry and pulled him in. He could feel Prissy doing the same outside, grabbing his feet to pull him in the opposite direction but it was no use, she was no match against adults and too soon he was yanked inside and the rope loosened from his middle.
"Are there more of them?" Someone asked and Crazy Barbara ran to the porthole. Harry leapt in front of her, hoping to give Prissy time to get away, holding his wooden cutlass.
"Arr!" he yelled. "Fight me, you hornswaggling pirate scum!"
He was overpowered before he could count to three but felt happy he got one good stab in and Crazy Barbara was hanging the jib—which meant she was scowling, he had paid attention in the Yar and Har class—holding her stomach. If only he had a real cutlass she would be for Davy Jones' locker right now! He had done enough though, for when Peg Leg looked out of the porthole he saw no one.
"Who was with you?" they asked but Harry refused to tell.
"We know everything," he shouted instead. "You'll go down for this!"
"No matter," they said, laughing loudly. "A bunch of snot-nosed children can't do anything. You'll talk on the plank!"
"We should keep him and get a pretty chest for him from his father," Crazy Barbara said.
"I'm not dealing with Black Jack Blackbeard Sr," Peg Leg protested. "You're crazy if you don't think he'll feed the fish with us, strange landlubber son or not."
They tied Harry's hands behind his back. It didn't matter, Prissy was getting reinforcements, he was sure. "We'll save you, Skipper," he told the Captain who was looking quite relaxed where he sat tied up in the corner. "Never fear!"
"Yarr, me hearty," Skipper said. "You do me proud!"
They carried Harry outside into the dazzling sun to the lower deck where the diving board for their swimming lessons was. There they prodded him with their cutlasses until he stood on it. Peg Leg was holding a revolver and looked murderous. For the first time, Harry realised he was between actual pirates, who stole from others and did not think twice to murder if need be. His knees trembled.
"Tell us who was with you!" Sneaky Sue yelled, prodding him to take a step backwards on the plank.
"Never!" He looked around hopefully but the deck was empty. Prissy must still be trying to gather the students. He needed to hold out until they got there. "You'll not get away with this!" he yelled. "Soon everyone will know you're trying to steal their treasures!"
"Is that so?" Sneaky Sue shouted. She prodded him with her cutlass and he retreated another step. "Then it doesn't matter if we do you in! You'll walk the plank!"
"I'm not afraid! I can swim!"
"Let's make it more interesting then," Peg Leg said and picked up the barrel of chum they kept near the railing for when they fished, pouring the disgusting slop overboard.
Harry watched with them as the water started churning below and familiar triangular fins appeared. The pirates laughed and prodded him another step. He reached the end of the plank and it wobbled under him. Harry closed his eyes. This was it then. No matter, he had a great week.
"Talk!" the three pirates screamed.
"Never!"
A deafening cheer went up and Harry opened his eyes to see the whole school standing behind the three pirates, some hanging from the rigging, all hollering and cheering, waving black Jolly Roger flags. A few of the older students shot their guns in the air. What was happening? A prank?
"Yo, ho, ho!" Skipper, who had somehow got loose, called. "You're a right one, Fearless Harry!" he shouted. "Pull him in, lads! Double time, those sharks still look hungry!"
Hands pulled Harry in, some of those he saw were attached to his classmates, and more hands patted his back and freed him from the ropes. What was going on? The ship kept cheering, a thunderous noise that made it hard to think.
"Sorry, Harry," Prissy yelled, giving him one of her signature breath-stealing hugs. She was shouting at the top of her lungs but still he could only just hear her under the noise. "They knew you weren't my brother from the start! Skipper's an old family friend!"
Harry was whisked away by Peg Leg Jones before he could respond, and someone had put a crate next to Skipper's usual crate and Harry was placed upon it.
First Mate Jane called, "Fall in you scurvy beggars!" and the students and crew gathered around in ranks, quieting down.
"A worthy pirate has entered our midst!" Skipper bellowed when it was as quiet as it would get. "He has passed all our tests with flying colours! Three hooray's for Fearless Harry! Hip-hip!"
"Hooray!"
"Hip-hip!"
"Hooray!"
"Hip-hip!"
"Hooray!"
A test! His heart swelled and he thought it might just burst out of his chest at the realisation that he had passed it. That he was accepted. He was a pirate! He searched for his classmates faces in the small crowd and worried looks met him. Why were they worried? This wasn't Dudley bullying him. Fearless Harry grinned. He waved to them and watched them sag in relief. Their cheers rose above the rest.
There was a loud crack and at first Harry thought someone had shot a canon but it wasn't that. Where there had been nothing before between him and the students now stood a tall, serious faced middle-aged woman all dressed in black, holding on to a similarly dressed boy that looked quite a bit like Prissy.
Jaws dropped and a hush fell over the ship.
Prissy yelled, "Ahoy, Jack!"
Skipper said, "Ahoy, Minerva!"
Fearless Harry, hyped on the hooray's, pulled his wooden cutlass out and yelled, "Yaahhrr!" They weren't taking him without a fight!
The End
Thanks for reading!