Disclaimer: If I owned it I wouldn't be on fan fiction. Come on people, use your heads. The song that's in italics all through this chapter belongs to Kelly Clarkson (making it's second appearance) - The Trouble with Love is.
A/N: I don't really have much to say, Author responses at the end. Thanks for your reviews and your support, I love you guys! I'm done…
Trial and Error
His scent filled her senses before she was even fully awake, making her turn over and bury her head in the pillow she was laying on, a small smile pressed onto her lips. A soft moan spilled out of her throat, one of familiarity, and she knew with certainty that he was somewhere near. Or, at least, he had been. Her eyes opened slowly, blearily blinking the world into place, her smile still lingering. There was a memory dancing on the brink of her brain that she knew was pleasant but couldn't quite remember. She tried to hold on to it but it was like trying to keep water imprisoned between the curled fingers of your hands, and slipped away all too quickly.
Very abruptly she was aware that her surroundings were different. She wasn't in her room and she didn't know where she was. Her eyes searched, almost frantically, for some sign of life - some symbol that made her recognize at least where she was, if not why she was there - but found nothing immediately. Her eyes shut heavily and she found it very hard to stay conscious all of a sudden, her breathing increasing and her chest heaving as if she weighed three times what she knew she did. And it had nothing to do with not knowing where she was.
Almost out of nowhere, a feeling of nausea rushed over her that she couldn't fight back and she struggled to get to the edge of the bed. Her first thought was to get up and get to a bathroom somewhere, but there was no time - her insides heaved upwards, out of her throat and onto whatever was below her. She managed to open her eyes and spot that she had, by some odd chance of luck, made it into a trash can, and smiled faintly at that. She groaned, still feeling upset enough to retch again, and let her head fall heavily on the pillowed, queen size bed.
Her eyes slammed shut again and this time a smell wafted over her with such force that she grabbed her stomach because it gave way to violent lurching. Only now it was with butterflies and not nausea. She could smell Trunks but that wasn't an unusual thing. There were days when she would stop what she was doing because suddenly his smell would creep up on her and she knew she was remembering something about him but she couldn't think of what. It filled her senses with odd sensations and made her stomach turn in rhythmic ways. And now was not a good time to be 'one of those times'.
She felt sicker than she ever had in her entire life. Like she'd just been run over by a whole fleet of trucks. Her head was pounding so roughly she could nearly envision the beat and every time she opened her eyes the world would get darker and lighter according to it. She'd never really grown up with infections and viruses the way regular humans do, but if she could relate this feeling with anything she'd match it up with the horror stories she'd heard about the flu.
Her body convulsed and broke into such a fit of shivers that it made her lips tremble and her teeth clatter against each other. But she could feel beats of sweat trickling down her forehead and she knew this wasn't turning out to be a very good thing at all. She grabbed the covers and pulled them closely around her, burying her head as low as it would go and scrunching her body up to reserve all the heat there was - to stop it from escaping. But, almost immediately, heat rushed over her and the shivers stopped. Her face flushed and she felt as if she'd just stepped into a furnace. She threw the covers off of her with brutal force, fanning herself frantically and frowning as to why this was happening. She'd never had hot/cold flashes before and she had always thought stories of them were incredibly amusing. She assumed that whoever was telling them was being a drama queen. Now she knew how serious it was.
And she wanted to hurl again.
"Oh." She let out a small cry in agony, feeling like she was walking in hell. Still fanning herself with abandon. Her brow was wrinkled and she was breathing heavily again, like a dying man searching for some air. "Oh." She repeated. A long, drawn out cry of pain that was loud enough to echo off the bare walls of the room. "Make it stop."
"In a couple of hours, love." She linked the voice and smell together before she forced her eyes open to gaze his face. He was smiling but there were worry lines under his eyes, eyes that had dark rings around them, suggesting that he hadn't been to sleep.
"Trunks." She smiled, stating the obvious as if it were amazing. Then her face creased, her eyes becoming heavy enough to close again. "Where am I?"
"My house." The way he said it made it seem as if she should have known. There was a question in his tone, one that was silently asking 'don't you remember?'. But should she? It wasn't like she'd visited this place so many times that it was etched in her brain, her defenses argued even in their weakened state.
"What happened to me?" This question came slower and it was clear it took more effort to conjure up the words.
"You did something that you will never do again. Right?" His tone was warning and she briefly remembered hearing it like that sometime earlier. But she couldn't recall why. And she couldn't recall when.
"I don't know. What'd I do?" Her lip quirked even as she spoke it; though her side was aching in a way that made her want to curl into a fetal position and die, she still managed to be playful.
"You lost control and got too angry. You're not going to do that again, now, are you?" He sounded like was scolding a four year old.
"If I were your girlfriend you'd talk to me with a little more respect - pride. And not treat me like such a child." She pouted, rolling over so that her face was buried in his pillow. Now she remembered what she did and she was angry by his attitude. Vegita had been proud. Hell, even Bra had been proud. And he was treating her as if she'd just stolen someone's car and driven without a license. It wasn't fair. If she were someone of importance in his life, he'd be proud and not annoyed.
His jaw fell slack, mouth hanging open in shock. He clinched his fists a couple of times and bit down on his jaw, trying to calm himself. He had to remind himself that she was half-delirious and she didn't really mean that. But then, he had to think, maybe she did. Maybe now she was saying the things she wanted to say but couldn't in her normal state. Maybe she really thought he'd care more for her if she were some kind of romantic symbol instead of who she was. Didn't she know that without her he'd completely fade into nothingness? And if she didn't why the hell was she so blind?
"Pan if you were my girlfriend I would have probably spanked you." He finally managed to answer, letting her know that he'd be just as upset either way and that what she did wasn't a call for pride but caution. She was putting her life at risk here and it wasn't time to throw a party. She was quarter-saiyan and she wasn't meant to go super. There was a reason she never had. He crossed his arms firmly before becoming baffled by her laughter, giggles that were being stifled by his pillow.
"Trunks, I didn't know you liked the bondage thing." Her head titled on the pillow and she looked up at him, his smirk placed perfectly on her face. Her eyes were shinning and she looked worlds better than she had before. A small blush rose up the sides of his neck and spread to his cheeks, but it had less to do with her comment or assumption and more to do with the brief, naughty, thought of her that had just filled his head. It wasn't entirely his fault - she was laying in his bed talking about bondage…
"Haha, Pan." He managed after a moment, shifting uncomfortably and trying to clear his head of everything that had just been in it. Hadn't he said he wasn't going to think of Pan as sexy? But that was before he asked her to marry him - so it was all right now…wasn't it? He cleared his throat and moved into the room, coming by the side of the bed and staring down at her.
She hadn't mentioned the proposal and he wasn't sure how to feel about that. What was she thinking and feeling? He wasn't sure he even wanted to know. After she left he had time to think over the way things happened and decided they could have been a lot better. He'd concentrated so hard on telling her all the reasons she shouldn't marry him that he hadn't been very convincing with the reasons she should. He should have dwelled less on the love part. He loved her, he knew, just not the right way. And it wasn't what she was expecting or wanting and he never wanted to come short. He wanted things to be open and honest from the beginning.
But now he was afraid that she thought he didn't care for her at all. And that was the farthest thing from the truth. Why else would he want to spend the rest of his life with her - if he didn't care for her? But genuine affection wasn't love. And now he wasn't sure if he even knew what love was. It was crazy and he kept debating it with himself. He could tell her he loved her but she'd see through it quicker than ice cream melted in July. And he'd already told her that he wouldn't. So maybe the best thing would be to wait and see what happened. But maybe he should explain more.
He sat down on the edge of the bed, staring intently at her as she watched him quizzically. The smile had faded from her lips and he could see the circles around her eyes that were darker than the rest of her skin. She was tired. She'd just spent hours sleeping and she was still tired. He stuck his hand out, gently caressing her face with the back of his fingers. She closed her eyes, curling her lips faintly into a smile. He felt his body moving in before his brain caught what was happening and he had to literally force himself to move back. He was about to kiss this girl, and he discovered that it was harder not to than it was to just lean in a do it. When had that happened, he wondered.
"What are you thinking?" She asked, eyes still closed, voice far away.
"I wanted to kiss you." He supplied, not really thinking about it before he said it. He nearly winced as he realized the words were spoken aloud but he fought the urge. She drew her face into a confused sort of frown before she responded.
"Why?" As if no one should ever want to kiss her.
"Because you're beautiful." He spoke intentionally this time, thinking it was about time she heard it. His voice was soft, caressing as he told her, his face slightly closer to hers. He smiled as her 'frown' deepened and placed a kiss on the side of her cheek instead of his intended destination. He was willing to settle for less.
"Where are my parents?" She asked as if they weren't in the middle of a conversation.
"Something with business, I believe." His breath tickled her skin because he still hadn't moved from his spot next to her.
"Oh." And after a moments pause, "Well, where's Mom?" At this he moved back, examining her face to see if she were even half aware of where she was. What did she mean, where's mom? She asked where her parents were, he told her.
"With your dad." He stated, slowly as if she were really daft.
"That's funny, Trunks." She shook her head, letting a few of her teeth show in what she assumed was a smile. "You know better."
"I'm sorry?" He asked, this time feeling like he was the one who was daft.
"Mom and Dad? And business? Yeah, right." And then her meaning hit him. Videl didn't work with Gohan. Videl didn't work. She used to help Gohan with paper work but that was in the early years of their marriage - she absolutely hated the stuff. So, wherever Gohan was 'working', Videl certainly was not. But his mother had said…Yes, his mother. Of course that's what she said.
"Right, well I don't know but I'm sure Bulma has everything all worked out." He finally told her, sure she was more confused now than she had been in the beginning.
"You know what…I think I really am out of it…" She shook her head, no longer trying to make sense of what he was saying. "I have a headache, Trunks. A really bad headache."
"I know, babe, I'm sorry. Rest and you'll feel better in a couple of hours. It'll all be gone in a couple of hours."
"Are you sure." She managed, her face still scrunched as if in great pain.
"Do you want the truth or a lie?"
"A lie."
"Then I'm positive. Just a couple of hours and you'll feel better than new." With that she rolled over and immediately lost herself into a world of darkness.
*
He fingered the box idly, not sure exactly how he was supposed to feel. Pan never told him that she was going to marry Gabriel. And what kind of relationship did they have if it wasn't built on honesty. But that was just it … wasn't it? They didn't have a relationship. They had a friendship. And in a friendship she didn't have to tell him every aspect of her life. Especially not her love life. But even so…
When he was engaged to Marron she'd been the first one he told. Shouldn't she return the favor? Though maybe, his brain reasoned, there was never a time for her to tell him. He did have a huge fight with her and then they stopped talking for a while. And then Gabriel died. And the next time he and Pan talked they had done far too little talking and way too much of everything else. And then they weren't speaking again. So…maybe the fact that she didn't tell him really could be equated to slipping her mind or something just as simple.
Or maybe he was jumping to conclusions and there was nothing to tell. This might not even be Pan's ring. Maybe it was Bra's idea of a joke. Maybe, - and panic struck him for some unknown reason as he considered this but - maybe Pan told Bra what happened and they had a field day of it and Bra thought this was funny. Maybe everyone knew. He sighed dispersedly and dropped his head into his hands.
If Pan thought it were such a joke to tell his entire family and make fun of him when he was offering his heart to her, maybe he didn't want to marry her after all. She couldn't be that evil. She couldn't think this was something to be toyed around with and joked about. He could tell that from the state in which she left his house. And she'd never do that to him. She'd never laugh at him behind his back and a make him the unawares core of a long time joke. She was far too sweet and innocent for that. Far too loving and trusting to be that cold and malicious. And he had no right to think about her in the manner that he was at the moment.
Pan had never proved herself not to be trustworthy. And even if she had made a laughing stock out of him in front of his entire family, he would have deserved it. He never seemed to do things right when it came to her. But this…This he was determined to do right. If she would give him the chance he would turn this into a miracle waiting to happen, instead of the debacle she must have thought it would be. If she'd let him, he'd find a way to make her happy. He wanted to.
Right now he wanted nothing more than to pull her body against his and hold her until she felt better. To rub her forehead and back and make sure that she was feeling okay. To press a cold towel to her head when she was hot and to warm her when she was cold, until it was all over and she felt like a new person. But he couldn't do that because he was stuck being the 'friend'. And if he wanted more … what did that mean?
Before he could contemplate that answer to the fullest extent he heard footsteps and then saw the face of the girl that seemed to be the topic of all his thoughts pop out from behind the door frame. "What are you doing up?" He asked softly, voice barely above a whisper as he cupped the ring box in his hand - not trying to hide it but not trying to draw attention to it either.
"I had hoped I was delusional enough to have imagined that whole spew with your sister. She probably thinks we're having a roll in the hay right now." Pan grumbled, slapping her hand to her forehead with what Trunks hoped was overdramatic doom.
"What?" He asked tentatively, not wanting to relay his earlier feelings about her making a joke out of his heart.
"Your sister thinks you propose to me and that's the ring you used." She stated dryly, not offering any more explanation than that, her voice a high pitch as if she were telling some kind of ridiculous tall-tale.
"Pan…I did propose to you." He stated, just to make sure she was aware.
"Damn. I was hoping that was an illusion too." She answered, moving into the living room and taking a seat on the couch next to him.
"But I didn't give you this ring." He continued, ignoring her dry sarcasm, not much liking her tone. "Who did - if you don't mind my asking?"
"Well, I do mind your asking." She supplied, snatching the box from his grasp. "Who says it's even my ring?" She challenged, still using the same defense she did against Bra.
"The note on the inside of the box." He told her, speaking in a sarcastic manner that said he didn't appreciate her being a smart-aleck. But, as her face faltered, he realized that he might know something she didn't, and used it to his advantage. "Why didn't you tell me that you were going to marry him, Pan?" He questioned softly, pain etched into every syllable of his question.
"You never asked." She responded dryly, looking away from him because she didn't like the hurt she saw in his blue depths. "Where's this note?" She questioned after she'd opened the box and saw nothing of immediate interest - besides the ring, that is.
"Here, lift this." He answered, pulling the ring up and removing the top part of the inside of the ring box. Underneath, sure enough, was a small note that had words scribbled on it in Gabe's familiar scrawl. It said:
Pan, make him love you.
Her world shattered and snapped into place in what seemed like the same second. Her face paled as she brought her hands to her lips, drawing in a sharp breath as she read the words again and again. "He didn't…" She mumbled, incoherent words falling from her lips as she shook her head from side to side. "I don't believe…" She lifted the note up to examine it, still shaking her head in disbelief. Underneath the note was a chain that matched the ring perfectly.
"What I don't understand - besides that note, that is - is why there's a necklace under this. I mean, what, did this guy expect you to say? No?" Trunks' voice was soft as he talked to her, cautious because he saw the unearthly shade of pale that she turned, and he reached out a hand for her to hold on to. She never grabbed it, instead she continued to stare numbly at the box, the paper, and the necklace until he was sure she'd pass out.
"Pan, look at me. Please." He tried again, almost desperately because it had been at least two minutes and she hadn't moved at all. She was just sitting there, looking void. Then her eyes snapped and she made connection with Trunks' face as she drew in a deep breath. Finally, her hands moved and drew the ring from Trunks' hand. She'd only ever opened the box a couple of times, and she'd had no idea there was anything more to it than a ring.
Quietly she laced the ring and the necklace together and hung it around her neck, fighting tears as she thought over what Gabe wanted her to do. What a ridiculous man he was. How could he ask her to do something that, in the end, he wasn't willing to do? He wasn't going to marry her at all. He had fully intended to come to her that day and … and what? Well, in all honesty she knew. Probably had always known. He was going to propose and she was going to turn him down. And he would have been expecting it. Then he would leave her the box to figure it out on her own. But now…
If Gabe were here would he tell her to marry Trunks? Without even thinking about the question she knew the answer. He just did.
"Yes, Trunks." She finally said, nodding her head. After a heart stopping moment in which he thought she meant yes, she'd marry him, she continued. "That's exactly what he expected me to say."
He nodded his head, dropping his shoulders and squelching the hope that had risen in his stomach. "But you didn't. Did you?"
"No." They continued to speak in soft tones, never breaking eye contact with one another. "I didn't. I never got the chance."
"What?" She could hear the surprise, the bafflement in his voice.
"Gabriel got hit by a truck on his way to my house. To propose to me." She shut her eyes as if the words to painful, as if it killed her to speak them, and fought back the tears. "To propose to me so that I could turn him down. So that he could send me to you." Her voice shook as she said this, anger lacing her announcement just as much as pain.
"Because…Because you told him you loved me. Didn't you?" He spoke after a few moments of total silence that nothing in his house dared disturb.
"Yes."
"Marry me, Pan." He couldn't fight the words back. As much as he promised himself that he wouldn't ask her this right now. That he wouldn't do this today. He couldn't fight the words back. They just tumbled off his lips and into the air, without even thinking about them, they were said. His breathing had speeded and he found that his heart was pumping faster than it had in his life. He was vulnerable to her in this moment. She could make or break him and she probably had no idea.
"This is some sort of joke, isn't it?" She asked, shaking her head and standing up. Everything had just taken a turn from bad to worse and this was far too bad to be true. Her ex died while he was trying to send her to this man. A man she had loved all her life and could never have. Who was now throwing himself at her but there was a catch. Amidst the fine print were the words, clearly written, not yours to have, not yours to hold until death do you part. And she still couldn't have him. He would be hers in name only and she would be miserable.
Love can be a many splendid thing. Can't deny the joy it brings. A dozen roses, diamond rings. Dreams for sale and fairy tales…
She would cry herself to sleep at night and she would dine alone in the evenings. But in between time, in public and in the spot light, she'd be a queen. She'd be damn near royalty. She'd be envied and revered and she would smile as if it were real. She could see her entire life already and she didn't have to live it. She couldn't do this. This wasn't an option. She was incredibly sorry Gabriel died in vain, but she could not sell her soul to the devil for half of a malfunctioning heart. She'd rather work with what she had and wonder what could have been for the rest of her life than take this man's hand and lie in a church. After all, wasn't that the exact reason she gave Marron for not being her maid of honor?
It'll make you hear a symphony. And you just want the world to see. But like a drug that makes you blind, It'll fool ya every time…
"That's it." She continued, nodding to herself. "This is a cruel joke that you started for your own sorted, sardonic amusement." She wasn't laughing, her face wasn't flushed, she didn't show any sign of losing control. Her voice was calm and even and it made him doubt for a moment - only for a moment - whether she was being serious or not. But he knew she couldn't possibly think this a trick and the thought that she so seriously said it was angered him a little. He was being sincere, in the most sincere of ways and she was calling him a liar.
"Pan, this isn't a joke. It's not a game and I'd appreciate it if you'd answer my question." He responded evenly.
"Answer your question!" She repeated, turning on him quickly, eyes striking with more hate than he had ever seen directed at him before. Without further words from her he knew this wasn't going to be pretty. "How dare you? You thick-headed, self-involved, pompous asshole!" He winced. Her volume alone was enough to bring the house crumbling to it's knees. He was only one man - did he deserve all of this? He only wanted an answer. Not all this beating around the bush. He understood that she needed time to think, but he had given her time. And she seemed to have an answer - she was just unwilling to give it. If she was going to turn him down he at least wanted to hear her say the words. And he wanted it done quickly - like snatching off a band-aid. So that it hurt less. Though he wasn't sure a refusal of his heart could 'hurt less' it was worth a try. And at least he wouldn't be in this suspense.
"You forgot self-righteous, that seems to be a favorite. Oh, and you could have thrown in a good for nothing or a jerk somewhere for added effect. But I liked the 'asshole' bit, that hurt, Pan." He wanted her to realize how foolish this was and calm down. He wanted her to see that she was overreacting without keeping this fight in motion and the only way that he could think of doing that was to join in and bash himself. "Besides, you could have come up with some way more clever. Like, how just now, I never asked a question but just…sort of demanded that you marry me…"
She opened her mouth, face red and angry, fully ready to retort his smart-aleck attitude but before something else nasty could tumble from her lips she heard laughter and realized quickly that it was coming from her. She was laughing. This wasn't a laughing matter and she was laughing. Not only had he challenged her integrity and asked her to make her entire life a lie, but he had mocked her when she got upset about it and she was laughing.
"Trunks," She started, after she'd gotten a hold of herself again. Her shoulders rose, as if she were about to make some long speech, but she dropped them again - seeming to give up. It was as if the words couldn't come to her. She tried again, opening her mouth to tell him how unfair he was being, but couldn't seem to force the thoughts to become spoken word. "Trunks," She drew in a deep breath and then let out a heavy sigh, frustrated with herself. "Darn it."
"Pan, just say what you're thinking. That's all I'm asking. Tell me how you feel about this. I know I made it seem like it'd be some kind of punishment, but I promise you it wouldn't. I told you I'd do my best to keep you happy and I honestly meant that. All I need you to do is say you'll marry me, Pan."
"You want me to marry you?" She asked after a second, drawing in another deep breath. He gave her a look that clearly asked her where she'd been through the entire conversation, and nodded his head up and down to confirm her question.
"Of course I want you to. Why else would I have asked?"
"I don't know. You made it sound like some kind of chore…"
"I'm really sorry." He tried again. "I didn't mean it to be that way."
"Okay, listen Trunks. Marron came to me before she got married and asked me to be her maid of honor. And I told her no. Do you know why I said no, aside from the obvious, that is?"
"Enlighten me, Pan." He said, though he already knew where this was going.
"Because," She stretched the word out. " - And this is exactly what I told her. -Because I'd be lying in a church. Trunks I don't think you fully understand what you're asking me to do. You say that you'll make sure I'm happy and then you say you want to marry me but you're not in love with me. Do you realize how much of an oxymoron that is? It just doesn't work. It would never work. I'd always be miserable and you would hate me for letting you do this. One day," She paused, making sure their eyes were locked so that he could know she was completely serious.
"One day you're going to fall in love with someone who's going to smile and make your world snap into place. She's going to touch you and suddenly you'll feel calm. When she's around you'll feel complete and you won't wonder what you're missing in life. She'll make your head spin and she'll keep you on you toes. She'll be everything you were ever looking for and more.
"And I'll be in the way of that. And I don't want to be. I don't want to be the reason you're miserable and I don't want you to be the reason I am. We won't make it through that. If you married me and left me we wouldn't make it through. And if you married me and wanted to leave but stayed, you wouldn't be whole anymore. And I don't want to see that happen. I won't watch that happen."
"Pan, I've already had that girl. They'll never be another. The only one who's ever even come close beating out -"
"Trunks, set aside what happened with you and Marron for a minute and listen to me. This isn't going to work. Thank you, but no thank-you."
"I was going to say, the only one who's ever even come close to beating out what we have is Marron and I can't see that happening again." There was silence for a few moments as Pan stared at him. She looked lightheaded and sat back down on the couch, next to him again.
"You can't say things like that to me, Trunks." Her voice was cold and angry as she told him, soft but deadly at the same time. "You can't tell me things like that while expecting me to remember that you're never going to love me. Now tell me what that was supposed to mean? Marron came close to beating out what we have?"
"That's why she left, isn't it? Because even she felt like I cared more about you than I did her. Everybody does."
"So now you're blaming your failed relationship on me?" Her brow wrinkled as she asked, annoyed beyond belief.
"No, that's not what I mean. I mean, even when I was with Marron I was with you. She didn't feel threatened for no reason, Pan. We're already closer than we have any right to be, and we both know it." She waited, wondering if there was more, and when there wasn't her eyes flashed again.
"This is what I mean, Trunks. Right there. Right then. Any other couple would be pronouncing their undying love for one another and I get a 'we're closer than we have any right to be'? I want something more than that and it's clear that I'm not going to get it from you. I doubt we can do this. No, I know we can't."
"So that's your answer then? No?" His eyes glistened and she feared that he was about to fall apart while she sat on that couch. He couldn't really have expected her to accept such stupidity, could he?
"If it is no, what do we do? Where do we go from here?" Her heart was thumping loudly in her ears as she came to a decision. What was she thinking? Why were they even discussing this? If she were sane she'd get up out of this chair and walk out of his house. She'd turn away from him and never look back. If she were smart she shake her head and just politely walk out. This wasn't going to work and there was no way they'd piece things back together now. What did they have if they didn't have each other?
The trouble with love is, It can tear you up inside. Make your heart believe a lie Is stronger than your pride…
"What do we do, Trunks?" She repeated, when he didn't answer her. "Do we pretend this never happened, too?" At that his eyes became alert and he quickly shook his head, disbelief shaping his movements.
"No, Pan. You can't do that to me. We'll talk about it. We'll work it out. We'll sort through it but we won't pretend this didn't happen. You can ignore a lot of things in life, and I'll play along with it sometimes, but this isn't something that can be ignored. Whether you accept or not, I asked you to marry me and I'm not taking that back. It's not something that can simply 'not happen'. I meant it when I asked and whatever answer you're giving, you meant that when you said it. And it did happen." His voice was so genuine she couldn't help but smile as she nodded her head, sighing she looked away from him and threw one of her hands into her midnight pieces of hair.
"I was just making sure you meant it before…" She stopped, unable to finish her sentence. Her voice caught in her throat and she closed her eyes roughly, trying to regain her courage. "Before I accepted."
The trouble with love is, It doesn't care how fast you fall. And you can't refuse the call. See, you got no say at all…
"Pan…" He couldn't speak for a second, so completely sure that he'd already been turned down that he wasn't positive he heard her right. "Are you saying you'll marry me?"
"Under these circumstances." She turned her body so that she was completely facing him, eyes as serious as she'd ever been in her life.
"I'm listening." He nodded, turning to face her as well, anxious excitement drawn on his features.
"This is a real marriage at home and in public. Aside from the love factor, we are a real married couple. That means if you're going to be late for dinner you call and check in. You don't see other women and we…we don't sleep in separate rooms." She paused to see if he picked up on her meaning. He nodded and she felt encouraged enough to continue. "I want a child one day and your image can't afford, neither will I allow, for me to be artificially inseminated." She couldn't believe she was saying this out loud. This was as bold as she'd ever been in her life. He nodded again.
"Hopefully it'll be a little more romantic than all that…" He stated blandly, quieting quickly so that she could continue.
"I'm not going to indulge in childish fantasies about romance with you, Trunks." She gave him a scornful look before she continued, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. She noted that he opened his mouth to object, but she quickly resumed her speech. "I won't be demeaned in any way. I refuse to be disrespected and I'm not sitting in an empty house all day so that I can cry myself to sleep in the afternoon. I'm going to work if I want to work and I'm going to stay home if I want to stay home. I'll go to your business parties and I'll smile at your meetings but I won't be a trophy, Trunks. I expect to be treated with just as much reverence in private as in public. Just because you don't love me doesn't mean you don't have to hold true to every other one of your vows."
"All of that goes without saying Pan. I told you you'd be happy and I mean that." He told her, face wrinkled because she felt the need to lay that out for him. How could she honestly think he was planning to make her life miserable? That was never his purpose. "Is there anything else?"
"Yes. We don't tell people we're engaged right away. We pick a date, and if we make it to that date without any serious issues, then we get engaged. Should either of us change our minds before that date it's okay - like an easy out clause. It'll be like a trial basis, so that I can get a feel for what I'm in for. I'm not marrying you if I feel this won't work. And I have to be honest, I feel this won't work."
"But you're giving me a chance anyway. So, really, you're not accepting my proposal. Really, it's like we're dating…right?"
"Right." She nodded, feeling like she was giving the devil her soul.
"What's the date?" He asked quickly, eyes still excited though he realized that she was both uneasy and unhappy at the moment.
She thought for a moment and then smiled, supplying him with two words. "My birthday." He thought about that as well and then nodded. That was two months away. So that's all the time he had to convince her. To change her mind. He was going to do it if it killed him. And she'd be happy. He was sure of it.
"Pan," He started again, slowly, letting his eyes slide up her face and then back down it. "I'm going to kiss you in five seconds. If you have a problem with that feel free to move away at any time." He scooted closer to her on the chair, finding eye contact and never loosing it.
"Okay." She nodded, feeling incredibly nervous.
"Five." She sucked in what felt like all the breath surrounding her. "Four." He moved a little closer still. "Three." His head started to tilt, moving into her personal space. "Two." His voice dropped so that he was barely even speaking now. The one never came, their lips were pressed together before he got the word out.
Every time I turn around, I think I've got it all figured out. The sad story always ends the same - Me standin' in the pourin' rain. It seems no matter what I do, It tears my heart in two…
A/N: So, what'd you think. Pan suddenly changing her mind, was that too weird for you? ^_^ well, two months to prove his worth. The fun begins now. Yay! Uh…Review please, it makes me want to write more.
Thanks and appreciation go out to:
BulmaPoisionusFood, Jezika, Miko-chan (sorry I couldn't update before you left), fluffy, kaya, DBZChicky501, PrInCeSs Of LiGhT, DBprincess116, Hanamaru285, werewolfpixie, angkat14, Morgause Nokami, Lady*Venom, pan son, spawn32818, Houser's girl, amy, ladybugg, Missa, reader, Aeris Deathscythe, Bunny, vintageskater, inima, nessie, RewZone, SaiyanPrincess77, Trunksdreamer, Nikki, Dbzfan550, serendy4evr, Rika-chan, KoreanChick, SilverDream, Yokiko Pan, Hiei Lover, AzNLiLSMaLLKirby, Chiisai Mizu, megamipan (that's quite a compliment, I'm not sure I deserve it), Rei Sakura Li, vegistie, T+P fan, Kimmi, Sengiri no Oujo, v-chan, Mistress Son Pan, Kawaii Luna, Kimberly, jussafan, and TeNshI nO Hi
Incoherence- you did comment more than once to chapter 12. But I don't mind. The more the merrier, and now I'm merrier! … yesh, I'm sane … -shifty look-
Beji- I know how you feel about the Marron thing. I'm in love with Goten (though I write T/Ps ^_^ ) but I had to do something with her. :-/ thanks for the reviews.
Gecko- heh. You make me smile. I love your random reviews ^_^ thanks for reading my fic. Yesh! Did you know that scandalized is my favorite word? Of course you didn't. but it is. (sorry, you said 'scandal' in one of your reviews…o_o) Yes, Harry Potter was wonderful. I love JKR. She's a genius. And it cracked me up the way you summarized Pan's 'super-saiyan experience'. ^_^
Pia Bartolini- I'm glad you translated that into simpler English. So many big words …my head started to hurt. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the chapters. Really I was scared you wouldn't like my little twist with the proposal. I'm glad you expected it. Oh, and I'm glad you haven't abandoned me.
Deidra- Oh, Pan was just being grumpy cause she stopped liking Marron. And I was probably in a silly mood when I wrote that. My writing usually reflects my mood. x_x
Dark Anjel- I hope you're happy with Bra having a role in the 'why me' chapter. She's not really a big part of the story - I know, but I have so much else to do. -whines-
chibbi usago- no, they're never admitting their feelings and there won't be a happy ending! -maniacal laughter- I don't believe in 'em. *coughcoughcough* Uh…I mean… :-/ Trunks eventually tells Pan that he loves her - one day. *coughthelastchaptercough* o_o
ShadowWind- -blushes- and amazing person, am I? You're too kind. No really, talking to you guys is fun. ^_^ Thanks for reviewing my chapter! If you're back I'm sorry that there wasn't much for you to read. I was kinda having a dry spell, among many other things. But I love your long reviews. They make me smile. =)
Animechick- It's never going to end! Bwahahahaha! … give me, like ten more chapters. Okay, maybe only eight. I'm serious. o_o At least eight.
Camille- -isn't insulted- I'm glad you had something constructive to say. I'll try and keep what you said about events in mind. Sometimes I don't think - just write…no, most of the time I don't think…-shrug- thanks for the compliment though!
TrunxChic- Thank you. I'm glad you feel things are realistic. It's my one goal in writing - to make the impossible seem like it could happen without the reader realizing how impossible it is. Not that I'm trying to be tricky … o.O
Bella- they will be happy. I'm too much of a romantic for them not to be happy. And the happiness starts soon. Don't worry.
Caramel- would everybody stop wishing Trunks would realize he loves Pan? -pouts- it's so much more fun my way. -evil grin- uh…thanks for the review. ^_^
BuGGzErS- you quoted me? -feels famous- thank-you. ^_^
The Angry Black Woman- hehe. I love your name. For a second I thought I'd done something wrong. I'm glad my story kept you on your toes and thanks so much for the review.
YunaAngelofHell- Of course I remember who you are. -is shocked- anyways, thanks for reviewing. ^_^
black diamonds- I'm not the best writer on this site. You give me too much credit. Panabelle and Noseless are far better than me. And I'm sure there are more. But thanks for the compliment anyway, you know I love you. ^_^
Hope-Poe26- I don't know if you know how much that comment means to me. But in case you don't, let me tell you: thanks a million because it meant the world. Things like that really brighten my day when I get into those moods where I wonder why I even bother writing. So thank you for the review.
Newbie GK- I hope you're not too disappointed with the way I chose to do things…
Ashley- Yes, she is a real character. Thanks for reviewing.
Eneri- I hope this chapter cleared things up for you. Bulma was just lying and Trunks was too preoccupied to catch it. But I'm glad you asked that question about the business - I was wondering if anyone would. Yes, I realize it came out of nowhere.
A/N2: that took a really long time…x_x I've got two whole pages filled with reviewer thanks…Uh…thank you guys for your enthusiastic responses. Honestly. Anyway. You know the drill, if I left you out- yell. If I put you twice-yell. If I have a typo in your review just know I was trying to get the chapter out faster. You can yell about that too. Now I have an author story recommendation to do:
Read Stargazing it's a really good story. I don't understand why it only has, like less than 30 reviews for five chapters. I just read it yesterday. Good - it's not finished but I liked it. And Noseless Wonder is back and writing again. Go and read her stuff. She's the best. I believe Panabelle updated too. Go and review Grow up! though I haven't yet. Okay, I'm done now. ^_^ don't forget to review me. (yesh, after all those thank-you's I'm still being greedy.)