Disclaimer: I don't own it. Never did, never will. Give me a break already, geesh.
A/N: This is not the last chapter. Let me say that again : This is not the last chapter. Okay, I think everyone read that. Anyways, I had driver's ed this month. 10 hours the first week-end, five hours the two after that, and court one Wednesday night. So that's why this took so long - along with everything else, I had that. I would say I'm sorry but you have no idea how much effort I had to put into it to get it out this fast. So … :-/ I'll try harder next time ( I think that's better than sorry, anyways).
Never Say Never
There is always a period of calm before the storm. A moment when lives seem to change for the better, where the problem seems to be solved. The peace that surrounds the night sky right before the lightning strikes and the thunder booms through the sleeping darkness to awaken it. Yet, not every storm is followed by a rainbow…
Pan wiped her hands on the towel, placing the checkered cloth on the countertop as she turned and headed to get the door. Her hair was pulled into a loose bun with strands sliding out in different places, and she was outfitted in nothing but a long, white-cotton t-shirt and socks.
She pulled the door open halfway before sticking her head around, a large grin on her lips. "Did you forget something…?" The question died on her lips, seeing the person behind the door was neither of those whom she had expected it to be. Her lips got caught in between her top and bottom teeth as she stepped away from the door, pulling it back farther in the process. Momentarily, her lack of apparel was forgotten.
"Trunks, what are you doing here?" There was surprise but pleasure in her voice as she questioned, while noting the way his eyes left her face and traveled the extent of her before fighting off the blush. "I was just…" she fished her memory for a suitable reason why she was dressed the way she was but found nothing worth while to say; her sentence fell flat in the air.
"I was in the neighborhood…Or I thought I'd stop by and see you before I went home…Whichever one of those is less lame." He shrugged, a playful smile curving his lips and dancing in his eyes.
"Right, well then you'd better go with the later, it was sweeter than the first one." There was a moment where both of them simply stood in the doorway, fighting to come up with something witty or appropriate to say to the other. A moment were the silence was strained and things were definitely awkward. Trunks cleared his throat and moved farther into the room while Pan played with the sleeve of her shirt.
"Oh, yeah. Come in," Pan blushed, noticing how Trunks inched into the house and looking slightly sheepish about the fact that they were still in the entryway. "And you can tell me why you're really here."
"I wanted to see you isn't sufficient enough reason?" He questioned as he made his way to the living room, her close behind. He spread out on the couch as he waited for her response, eyebrows lifted in a teasing manner.
Of course, in theory, this was a perfect response. He was her fiancé, after all, and it was entirely logical that he could want to see her because he had missed her so badly. But things had been made painfully obvious, not so long ago, that hoping Trunks would one day actually love her, was a complete and total joke. He had pulled away from her this last month so much that at times she wondered if they were even friends.
She wasn't sure when it started because it was a slow, gradual process. But she was sure that she wanted to bring it to an end. At first, she hadn't noticed things were different, because while he had become more distant, he still treated her the same. Then, gradually, she began to notice that he was shifting away from her. Whenever she touched him he would draw back, move away. When they were close to having a real discussion about anything, or when they were just generally enjoying each other's company, something strange would happen; after a few moments of calm and relaxation, where she thought everything would be okay, his face would change, darken, and she would feel him pull away from her. Not literally - sometimes they would be touching and it felt like he wasn't even there - but emotionally.
So him saying he was just 'in the neighborhood' and couldn't go without seeing her for the rest of the night was a laughable and that was the reason she just stood, standing by him, staring.
It annoyed her that they never seemed to be on the same page. Before they got officially engaged, she wanted as little attention from Trunks as she could get away with, and he showered her with as much as she could stand without going crazy. But after, the roles switched for some reason. Now she was trying to get him to show her some form of affection, any form, and he would hardly treat her better than he did Goten. And their relationship was still strained on the basis that Goten was married to Marron and Trunks was not.
If there had been any foundation for her argument then she would tell him how she felt, but there didn't seem to be any. Were they to be tried in court about whether or not he was a good 'boyfriend' there probably wouldn't be enough evidence to prove he wasn't. But the fact still remained that, though Pan couldn't literally announce why things were different, they were different and he was horrible at making her feel wanted. In all reality, she felt like telling him to take his marriage idea and shove it where the sun refused to shine. But the thought of living without him, even this distant him, was more than her mind could bear without feeling like she would be sick.
Realizing that Trunks was waiting for her to say something to him, or at least acknowledge his presence, Pan moved closer to the couch and smiled down at him. "How are you feeling?"
He smiled lazily, something dancing, distant in his eyes that she couldn't quite read. His arms stretched out towards her, the invitation clear, and she waited a second before she moved. She was shocked that he was actually initiating some form of physical contact, so when she fell into his arms she took advantage of the situation, throwing her legs on either side of his body and sitting right above his waist.
She was, by all rights, straddling him, and he fought hard against the eyebrow that wanted to rise in a smart-aleck fashion. What did she have going on in that scheming head of hers? "I've been well, and how are you?" He smirked, looking over her shoulder, the way her shirt lifted up her thighs making him nervous. Where was Gohan?
She sighed and turned her head back, trying to spot what he was looking at. Seeing nothing, she turned back to him and shrugged. "Gohan's not here," She said without really knowing what he was concerned about. "And I'm fine." He made no comment on how well she read his anxiety, only let his hands come to rest on her legs and relaxed his body under hers.
Pan noticed the way his eyes cast nervously from her face to her uncovered legs and suddenly an idea entered her head. She shifted her weight back a bit, lightly brushing her body over his, throwing her weight in a very calculated movement before becoming still again. He drew in his breath quickly, and she didn't miss the twitch of his lips as she settled back to her original position; she had to bite her cheeks to keep the smile from covering her face.
Maybe, if she made every move the right way, she could break through the icy exterior he had been wearing these days. Maybe she could make him lose all his control, throwing caution and reason to the wind in the midst of his passion for her. If there was any passion there for her. Perhaps she could make him forget that this was basically a business contract. And, just possibly, somewhere while he was forgetting, she could forget too. It was a stretch but it was worth a try…
Then again, what would happen if she couldn't get him to comply? Where would she be if she completely threw herself at him and it was clear that he absolutely wasn't interested? She wouldn't marry a man that couldn't be attracted to her at the spur of the moment. If she had to wait until he was feeling lonely and blue before he showed any interest in her body, then he could forget about this entire idea. She had told him in the beginning that she wanted this to be a real marriage in every way, except for the love part.
But she couldn't make him want her any more than she could make him love her. A person couldn't change who they were or were not attracted to, and there was no way he could fix this if he wasn't even interested in her. What if all he saw when he looked at her was the eight year old he used to baby-sit? It hurt her to even consider the fact that he might not even find her desirable.
His hands were rubbing her legs now, up and down in slow motions, and he was studying her face closely, no doubt wondering what she was thinking. "Care to share what's on your mind?" He smiled in an almost loving manner, his eyes were gleaming and she briefly wondered if he was mocking her.
"Nothing, really." She did her best to seem casual as she pushed her body weight down and back again, lightly rubbing against him. He closed his eyes immediately, drawing in a slow breath, and, that time, she did smile. His hands stopped moving exactly where they were, applying pressure to her legs, before beginning their slow caress again; this time slower and with a bit more pressure, sending waves of electricity through her body.
"Where exactly is Gohan?" He breathed, after a few moments of silence, his eyes still shut as if in some kind of physical pain.
"The office still. Mom and grand-mom went to the store." She hesitated and then, "We're alone." She added for good measure, with a hint of something more in her voice. She paused after it was said, realizing exactly what implication he would draw from her add on, and aware that her tone hadn't helped her either. It was suggestive and, for some reason, it felt wrong almost. She had always wanted him, she knew, but had never thought she'd be hinting it out loud. Ever. However, he didn't seem to be as bothered by her profession as she was.
A slow, easy smile overtook his lips and he opened his eyes, a dangerous glint in his crystal depths. She shivered involuntarily and squirmed against his body again, this third time not meaning to at all. A small chuckle emitted from his throat as he swiftly grabbed her waist, flipping her so that their bodies lay side by side on the couch.
"Are you trying to seduce me, Miss Son?" He smirked, setting his hand on her waist and pulling her body so close to his that if she responded they'd be kissing.
She yanked her head back, eyes on fire, and opened her mouth, ready with an angry reply. He was making fun of her, she was sure of it. But before she could say anything his mouth was on hers, claiming her words, her breath, her thoughts.
There wasn't even a pretense of this kiss being chaste; his mouth covered hers with clear desire that let her know exactly what he thought of her toying with his emotions the way she was. His hands traveled farther down her waist until they were on the top curve of her hip, and he tightened his grip around her. Very slowly, he pulled his face away, giving her a chance to catch her breath.
"You were saying?" He teased, referring to whatever angry comment she had been fully prepared to deliver a minute earlier. She unsuccessfully searched for a response as he smiled at her, moving his hand still lower, to the curve of her behind. She huffed, unsure of why her mood switched so easily, and angrily threw her leg over his body, pushing so she could climb over him and off the couch. But he caught her halfway through and pulled her on top of him, having her take a position much like the one she held a few moments ago.
"Where are you going?" He asked, seriously confused. Her nostrils flared and she pushed her fists into his chest.
"This isn't funny, Trunks." She warned, near a yell, glaring and huffing at the same time. Her hands were shaking and her lips quivering. "This is so serious."
"I'm being serious." He replied softly, his hands finding rest on both of her legs again. He resumed the rubbing he'd done earlier, making direct eye contact with her.
"Then why do I feel like you're mocking me?" She pleaded, trying to push off him again. He wouldn't let her get up, giving her the most serious look ever.
"First, it's going to get much more serious if you keep doing that." He was referring, of course, to the rocking motion her body kept doing against his. "Second, I am not mocking you, Pan-pan." He smiled when he said the name, trying to lighten the mood.
"And you're doing it again. Ladies and gentlemen, the jackass." She took on the voice of a talk-show host but he could hear her anger. The last time someone had called her Pan-pan, she had to have been five, she thought. She had forgotten that Trunks called her Pan-pan all the time, and she used to love it. Now it was nothing more than the tone a father would take to his five year old child. Perhaps she was being unreasonable.
"No, I'm not." He stated sternly. "You started this Pan."
"And I was being completely sincere when I did. I wasn't messing with you." To her horror, he laughed.
"Yes you were." He countered her. "You were trying to toy with me Pan." She swiped the embarrassment that was threatening to overtake her emotions down, and latched on to the anger.
"I was trying to picture what the rest of my life would be like. And now I know." She spoke bitterly at the end, biting her lip in an effort to keep her emotions in check.
"And your verdict?" Amusement was still gathering in his eyes and she felt her nostrils flaring, hurt and shame flushing her cheeks.
"Keep it." She pushed off him, only to be pulled down again. Trunks sat up on the couch, pulling Pan with him so that her legs were on either side of his waist and she was sitting in his lap, facing him.
"Pan," he started, fatherly in his tone.
"Save it Trunks. Marry someone you can touch without being disgusted." She pushed away again but he pulled her much closer this time.
"I'm touching you now."
"You know what I mean." She snapped, narrowing her eyes.
"No, actually, I don't. What makes you think I'm disgusted?" Only curiosity filled his tone, nothing more.
"Do I need to spell it out?" She nearly whimpered against his grasp over her.
"Please." He spoke in a tone that completely enraged her, because it made it seem as if she was the one being ridiculous and unreasonable instead of him.
She sighed heavily, rolling her eyes into the top of her head. "Fine." There was defiance in her voice as she conceded, looking him square in the eyes. "When you look at me all you see is a girl you share a platonic relationship with. You could never make yourself be attracted so there's no point in pretending like I'm over-reacting. I'd find out eventually anyway, and we agreed, aside from love, our marriage would be perfectly normal. But it wouldn't be, I see that now. So why should we make each other's lives miserable? I told you I wanted children, the natural way, and I meant it. Now if you're going to sit there and laugh at me then I've really had it!" He smiled, as if still fighting back laughter, and quirked an eyebrow.
"Are you through?" She jammed her fist into his chest roughly, positive that he was teasing this time. "I guess so." He smirked and she clenched her teeth, grinding them against each other. What the hell was so funny? This was not a joke.
"You think I'm not attracted to you?" He spoke the question slowly, his tone lightly amused as he bore into her eyes.
"What's to think? I know you're not. You just proved it, and it isn't the first time either. Not to mention, you added injury to insult while doing - you were making fun of me." She scoffed as he winced at her assumption.
"For-the-last-time," He spoke slowly, giving each word extra emphasis. "I was not making fun of you. And," here his fingers began to twirl around her back in light designs to add emphasis to the next part of his speech. "I am very attracted to you."
"Are you lying?" She whispered, slightly calmed by the sensations his touches were causing within her. He shook his head no, using the feeling that shimmied through his body as her breath tickled his neck as proof to himself of.
"I told you I would never lie to you, remember?"
"Yeah, but you're not supposed to say never, you know." He laughed, leaning forward to kiss the top of her neck softly.
"The people that made that saying never met you. If they had, they'd know there are just certain things that you could be sure of never doing."
"Like loving me." She spoke softly, very softly, regret laced in her sentence and jarring every word. He sighed, kissing up the side of her face in a effort to avoid that question. He'd been avoiding that question for a month now. Ever since he realized that there was a definite possibility that he might be in love with this girl.
And loving her would be dangerous. It would mean he was vulnerable. It would make him susceptible to heartache and torture. It made him an easy target for pain and he didn't like that thought. So he'd fought hard against the notion of loving her for a long time. Pulling away when he could and trying hard not to give into the temptations his body screamed he cave to, whenever she threw them his way. But she was so hard to fight.
Realizing that he wasn't going to respond, Pan continued the back-tracked the conversation. "You're attracted to me? Since when?"
"You've always been beautiful, Pan. It was just never appropriate for me to think so before."
"So you're only 'attracted' to me because you allowed to be?" He snorted.
"Do you remember the very first time we kissed? You know why I thought you'd never talk to me again? I didn't continue to kiss you because I thought you were Marron - or because I wanted you to be." He left the rest hanging in the air. Pan gave him a skeptical look.
"You did it because you were attracted to me?" Her voice was flat, clearly she didn't believe him.
"That, and I felt like I'd already lost everything. So I had nothing else to give up by acting on that attraction and seeing what it would be like. I'm a jackass Pan, I figured you wouldn't mind because you were in love with me. Once I'd done it, though, I realized that I did have something else to lose - you. And I'd probably just done it."
"That's the same thing you did when you asked me to marry you." She observed, quiet anger present in her tone.
"What?" He asked, lost for her meaning.
"Assume I wouldn't mind because I loved you."
"Pan…I…" There was a definite moment where awkwardness lingered in the air as Trunks began to realize the seriousness of the situation at had. He shifted uncomfortably under her, opening his mouth to try and find words in his defense. There was nothing he could say. "If you-"
"I told you I'd never leave you." She smiled, not even letting him finish his thought. "I meant it."
"Never say never, Pan."
"Knowing someone like you makes it easy to know the things you'll never do." She smirked his smirk as she delivered the line, adding effect to her words while trying not to laugh.
"That line was copy writ." He mused, frowning playfully as he kissed the side of her lips.
"So sue me." She laughed, tilting her head to his and pressing their lips together.
"I think, from now on, I'm going to try and treat you more like the woman that's going to be my wife. And less like the one that used to be my friend. I mean, I've noticed the way my father gives us these looks…And the way your family treats this whole thing as if it were a joke. And I'm sorry because I feel as if it's my fault."
"How are we going to do this Trunks? We're about to be newlyweds and…well, to be quite honesty I'm terrified. I have no idea how this is going to work."
"The same way every other marriage works," He didn't even hesitate as he answered. "From this point forward, we love each other. If only for namesake."
She wanted to ask what that was supposed to mean. She wanted to question the sincerity of it, the gleam in his eyes making her wonder if her imagination was running wild or if he had just said he loved her. But something inside held her back. A feeling of dread and pure panic when her security threatened to be broken. For some reason she knew that if she opened her mouth and asked him, that if she questioned whether he loved her or not, she might not get the same answer she had been getting. And not getting a no meant something more than she was willing to face. Having him tell her anything than what she already knew scared her - like a deer caught in headlights, she felt the urge to flee. So she didn't open her mouth, she took for granted that his feelings hadn't changed - ignored the fact that his feelings could have changed - and left the subject alone.
In a moment, she became aware that she didn't want him to love her and she wondered why her emotions were so fickle. Love meant something more than what she was sure she understood - the word was so overused and misunderstood - she just didn't want to use it. To question it. To challenge it. She needed the comfort of someone who would be there for her without wanting, expecting, needing. She reveled in it, suddenly.
And she was glad that this was a deal - not love and devotion. At that moment, she wasn't sure love would sit well with her. You couldn't truly say you loved someone if you didn't want them to love you back, could you?
***
The tables were decorated a lacy white color and there were pink roses on every table. The napkins were folded into swans, all the silverware was actually real silver, the plates were porcelain, and all the glasses were crystal. There was a fancy chandelier in the middle of the room and a stage at the very front.
Her heart was pounding fast than it ever had before. Her hands were sweating as she stood in the center of the room, eyes darting from corner to corner, her cheeks running pale. She shifted her feet and bit her lip nervously, jumping slightly because she had just been poked in the side.
"Would you be still, Pan?" That was Chi-Chi, holding a pin in her hand, forehead wrinkled into the very picture of annoyance. "You keep fidgeting and you won't have a dress."
Good. Pan thought, needing, more than anything, to get away. She was standing in the middle of the room where her reception would be in her wedding dress. She couldn't have been more afraid. "Why do we have to do this in here?" She whined instead of stating her other thoughts aloud. "I'd feel more comfortable somewhere else."
"Well we're not somewhere else, are we?" Chi-Chi snapped, sticking a pin into Pan's dress a little too roughly. She let out a calming breath and then took a step back.
"That should do you." She nodded her approval for Pan to move and the girl darted down the hall as fast as humanly possible, stopping at the doors and ripping them open, already calling for her mother to help her out of the dress.
"Don't drop any of those pins!" Chi-Chi called too late, Pan was already out of sight. The old woman sighed, shaking her head and taking a seat in the nearest chair, resting a hand on her heart. This was all too much for her.
"It just can't be happening." Chi-Chi shook her head, talking to her own self, for no one else was in the room at that point. "She can't be foolish enough to do this." A weight seemed to press on the woman as she thought of all the things she knew. Of all the things she had seen in her lifetime. She couldn't take this, sitting by, watching someone ruin their lives this way.
She had made this mistake already, and it only took one person to learn from something this colossal. She needed to tell Pan what she knew, had to stop this at all costs, for she wouldn't watch her only grandchild be as miserable as she knew the girl would be. She couldn't allow such a horrible thing to happen.
Just then the doors swung open again. Pan came walking in, using a much more civilized speed than she had walking out. Her hair was pulled into a tight bun, two strings hanging from either side. She was wearing baby-blue exercise pants and a small white-tee. Her eyes were brighter than Chi-Chi would ever remember seeing them, but that didn't make things alright. Gold was not equal to platinum simply because it was better than silver.
"Come here, Panny." Chi-Chi called, her voice weighted and tired as she patted the chair next to her. Pan tilted her head, concern shinning in her eyes as she nodded and moved to take the seat.
"What's wrong grandma? You haven't been too well lately, have you?"
"No, I haven't." She held up her hand before Pan could say anything, already knowing what the girl had meant and not meaning what Pan thought. "And if you'll listen, I'll tell you why."
"All right…" Pan said, a little uneasy because she had noticed that Chi-Chi had been more distant than anybody else. Her parents had given her a long lecture when she told them that she was seriously engaged to Trunks - her father had exploded on the spot. There had been lots of yelling and pale looks, lots of anger and 'disappointment' before the acceptance came. Bulma had been hysterically ecstatic, Bra and Marron had been arrogant about it, and Goten had been weary and annoyed. Vegita was cryptic, but he seemed to be pleased by it all. The only person that seemed really distant and completely unnerved was her Chi-Chi. And Pan had thought Chi-Chi would be singing happy tunes with Bulma.
Pan straightened in her seat and sat up closer, making sure her body was in ready position to pay attention. And when Chi-Chi began to talk, it wasn't what Pan had expected to hear at all…
"Some years ago I had a friend who had a love for justice and the martial arts. Her father was strong, a fighter if you will, and so she learned to love the thrill. She was showered with affection, adored and admired, a princess by every right of the word. But this girl, like all girls do, met a boy that stole her heart away. One that fought, just as she did, and understood the thrill. One who was so innocent and caring that she couldn't help but love him." She paused, swallowing and clearing her throat before she continued, hoping she could get through this story without getting emotional. She would simplify it as well as she knew how to, but she could not leave out the important details. She had to tell Pan why.
"She loved this boy and ignored reason when she heard it. Everyone told her to be smart - everyone said she should let it go. But her father didn't, he let her have whatever she wanted and he told her that if she wanted him she could have him. Only the boy wasn't ready when she thought she was ready. So she waited, hoping he'd fall in love with her the way she loved him so, but he never could. He loved the world, he loved the people in the world, and he belonged to them. Never her."
"What are you trying to say to me?" Pan asked after Chi-Chi had paused for so long she was afraid she wouldn't continue.
"What I'm trying to tell you Pan, is this, don't marry for the wrong reasons. This girl married that boy. He finally agreed, thinking they could make it work, thinking he could love her. And she didn't care if he could or couldn't. Just that he'd be there and that she loved him. She thought that she'd have so much love for him that it wouldn't matter if he felt it too. She thought, just waking up by his side, holding him at night, hearing his voice and the sound of his heart beating next to her ear while she rested, would be enough. But it never was.
Listen to me, Pan. One day this girl woke up a woman with nothing to show for her life. She realized that she had given so much without receiving that she didn't have anything left. She was empty and void inside. And do you know where the boy she married was? Gone. He wasn't even there, had never really been there. Don't be that girl. Take it from me, it's still lonely in the middle of the night when you're lying next to someone listening to their heartbeat and they don't feel the same for you. It doesn't change. If you get married, do it because you think it's the right thing to do or don't do it at all."
There was a pause, after she finished her story, in which Pan was afraid to move, to think about what she'd just been told, to breathe even. Finally, the young girl swallowed, her heart thumping a thousand times a minute, and she opened her mouth.
"What you're saying to me…" She wasn't sure she wanted to finish. Her eyes watered but she blinked them rapidly, nostrils flaring in and out with indignant anger. "I always thought…" Her face scrunched and she closed her eyes, tears trickling down her face, splashing onto her shirt as she tried to find the words. "But I thought he was perfect…I mean, you always seemed so…so happy…Dende." Her stomach clinched and she couldn't have kept talking if she'd wanted to. She felt a hand rest on her leg, calming her, and she took a deep breath. "He never loved you?" The question was whispered, fright creeping into the corners of her pauses as she asked it.
"He loved everybody equally, Pan. But a man should love his wife most."
"That's why he always left…"
"No," There was power in Chi-Chi's voice as she countered her. It made Pan jump because things had taken a more calm pace by then. "He never left me. If your grandfather ever left it was because he thought it was best. He never left me." It was as though Chi-Chi were fighting with herself, with someone other than Pan as she said this. As if, by tone, she could prove herself right. And Pan didn't argue because, she figured, some things shouldn't be taken away from people, and that was one of them.
"So, what do you want me to say?" Was what finally came out of her mouth. Chi-Chi moved her hand from Pan's leg and sighed, cocking an eyebrow as if she had been waiting for this question.
"That you won't marry that boy."
"Why would I say that?" Pan asked, as if she couldn't link her situation with her grandmother's.
"Because he doesn't love you."
"Does too." She argued the way a four-year-old would and stuck her lip out in a sort of pout that angered her grandmother.
"Don't you lie to me, Pan Son." Chi-Chi narrowed her eyes in a warning tone as Pan wiped the stray tears from her face, fighting down the anger that wanted to surge to the surface.
"I'm not lying." She answered, more meekly this time than before.
"All right then, I want you to look me in the face," She waited until Pan had complied before she continued. "And I want you to tell me that he loves you."
"He loves me." She whispered, and feeling the urge to lower her eyes she quickly added, "As much as I love him." At least that much was least the truth. She had already revealed to her own self that she didn't truly love Trunks. Hadn't she?
"Pan, you have two weeks to call this wedding off or I'll do it myself at the church." Chi-Chi crossed her arms, glaring at the young girl with more than just anger, but hurt as well. "Did you ignore everything I just told you?"
For some reason, something inside Pan snapped. Chi-Chi had no right to tell her how to live her life. She had no right to command her not to do something she wanted to. And she had no right to attack a dead man when he couldn't defend himself. It wasn't fair.
"You knew what you were getting into when you married him. You knew he was a fighter, you knew he hated staying home. You accepted him then for better or for worse, and who are you to tell me that I can't do the same? You got two wonderful children out of it and the best husband anyone could ask for. How selfish do you get, blaming him for your own problems? He stayed gone because you always harped and if you hadn't pushed him away then he'd-" The sound of the slap resounded through the room. It stung Pan's face, turning her cheek a strawberry red as her mouth dropped.
"Not only did you lie to me and disrespect me, but you insulted me as well. Have you forgotten who I am? Have you lost the good sense my son gave you? Clearly you have no right to even be considered grown enough to decide things on your own. You're just a child who only sees things through children's eyes - rose-colored glasses. You think your grandfather was perfect, and I can understand your belief, but you have no idea. I harped because of things you couldn't possibly understand. And, yes, maybe I did get what I deserved, but you'll soon understand everything I went through. And when it hurts so badly that you're afraid to look in the mirror from fear of what you'll see, don't come crying to me. I won't be your shoulder to lean on - I'll be the one that told you so."
She stood, years of grace and poise evident in her walk. The anger seeping off her, clearly visible, yet wisely concealed as she moved away. Pan lowered her head, afraid to move, afraid to speak. Not knowing what came over her.
"Grand-mom, please wait," She finally spoke, not able to sit through the guilt anymore. "I'm sorry." She said, when she knew Chi-Chi had paused. "But he still seems so perfect. It hurts when you say he wasn't." It was like someone feeding you ice-cream your whole life, then suddenly telling you it was fattening out of the blue. How could something so right be wrong?
"You didn't say anymore than what everyone else thinks." Chi-Chi began, talking slowly and being dismissive in her tone. "Everyone loves him more, even now…especially now - he's just so hard to blame. Maybe you weren't ready to hear what I just told you. I'm the one that's sorry."
Pan didn't know why, but she fell into another fit of sobs. Her back raked as she threw her arms across her face, laying her head on the table and letting the liquid slide off her cheeks and hit the white-lace cloth. After a minute she felt a hand rest on her back, and knew that things were going to be okay. No matter what.
A/N: I hope this wasn't too bad/confusing. This is supposed to be the most important chapter, believe it or not. Hence, Never say Never. But the point is not Trunks and Pan in this chapter, in case you missed it, it's Chi-Chi and Goku (And Pan and Goku). The entire story, really, is about Pan and Goku, and how he shaped her life. Notice all her relationship problems stem from having issues with Goku. That came up in chapter 12 too…I believe it was chapter 12. It's really all through the story. Anyway, don't forget to review and thank you for reviewing me so much. You guys make my life. You have no idea how tempted I am sometimes just to make Trunks say "I love you" and Pan say "I love you too" and then end it. But I don't. ^_^ yea me. Now I have to go do some homework so….
Oh, I added a disclaimer to the last chapter. And, yes, Trunks is supposed to say "I would never want to live without you" or something to that extent when he proposes. My mistake. No matter, I changed that too. -dies-