Chapter 4: Reflection

Here's a sigh to those who love me,
And a smile to those who hate;
And whatever sky's above me,
Here's a heart for every fate.
(Byron)

Two weeks had passed, and Harry's suspicions about Draco had mingled with something else.
Faced with the reality of his failed attempt at proving Draco's bewitching him, Harry had spend days observing his arch-enemy. He had discovered a Draco that differed from the one he knew all too well: a strangely humane, affectionate and warm-hearted Draco. When the dark-haired student had failed to cut some roots of belladonna in compliance with Snape's strict standards, Draco had gently taken Harry's hand in his, and had slowly showed him the correct way.

A short time ago, Harry could have shouted out his hatred of potions class and its master for all to hear. Now, however, he was the only student to look forward to this lesson, with the exception of Hermione of course.

These short hours, in addition with the Curses and Maledictions class allowed him to be near Draco, to study the blond, and the strange reactions the closeness of their bodies had on Harry. Harry's heart glowed and he felt... simply happy. They had become closer the Gryffindor would never have imagined, and even in public they managed to string two polite words together. Harry, at Draco's suggestion, had joined a group of Slytherins that Draco was tutoring and had made rapid progress.

Harry had surprised himself by discovering a seething jealousy of Blaise Zabini. The young man never left Draco's side. Together, they spoke Latin, discussing things Harry couldn't understand. He also didn't comprehend why Zabini was so overprotective of Draco. Malfoy had nothing to be kept safe from.

This is how he discovered he felt alone when the blond was absent. He missed the piercing and intent yet strangely kind and gentle gaze of the Slytherin over him; the way Draco seemed to know all that happened around them; and, above everything else, the presence of his warm being and strong aura near him.

Harry's attraction to Malfoy grew stronger and stronger, often Harry dreamt of white, wandering hands exploring his body. Still suspicious, he'd spent nights searching for contra-spells in the Restricted Section, but found none. The only thing he'd found that had the power of creating such symptoms was a Love Potion and the test he'd practice over himself had revealed a negative result. This was real attraction, not an induced one, but a passionate and earnest feeling that grew in his heart.

It somehow happened that Harry missed the good, or rather bad old Draco, the cruel and manipulative one; because 'that one' would notice the way Harry looked at him, and wouldn't hesitate to take him, without loving him, only for the pleasure of seeing Harry kneel and beg at his feet. Harry knew he wouldn't mind doing so, however shameful it was, for he simply would give anything and everything to obtain an ounce more attention from the beautiful blond.

Ron and Hermione had announced their engagement. They had decided to marry soon after finishing their seventh year. Harry studied his roommates: Ron and Hermione were kissing in a corner, Dean had disappeared with Lavender, Neville and Ginny were cheerfully conversing on the couch, and Seamus was taking photos for the Hogwarts Herald. Amidst all this happy activity Harry felt strangely alone. He picked up his clock and silently left the Gryffindor tower.

The coolness of the night was barely helping him clear his head. It seemed as though a small box was tightening around his heart, pressing it deeper and deeper into his chest. Harry leaned against a wall, breathing with difficulty, choking on the sobs stuck in his throat.

"Harry?"

The Gryffindor frowned. This voice, it couldn't be. He turned to face the one that just spoke and felt his heart pounding. The fact that the blond Slytherin was accompanied by his constant companion didn't bother him and he could only see blue-grey eyes looking at him with concern. A year ago, worry would have seemed out of place in Malfoy's eyes, but Harry was now getting used to this strangely kind gleam. Draco murmured to Zabini to go ahead, which the Slytherin did very reluctantly, and then came nearer the Gryffindor.

"Would you like to go for a walk?"

He was offering his arm. Thanking him silently for his support, Harry nodded his assent and grasped it frailly. They were sitting peacefully in the rose garden, watching the moon and stars. Neither of them had said a word while they walked, and, when they stopped, Draco had taken Harry in his arms, enfolding him in a motherly embrace. Resting, Draco against the wall and Harry against Draco, the dark-haired boy felt more full of existence than he ever had. His whole world was contained in the gentleness of Draco's arms, the softness of his chest, the tenderness in his eyes. This life was Harry's dream, a secret dream he was afraid to reveal to the cruel world. Yet Harry thought he was wrong to feel this way, because he plagued by misfortune. His entire life, he had put the people he loved in danger, simply by being near them. Ginny's bewitching by Tom Riddle, the twelve years his godfather spent languishing in Azkaban, Cedric's death, and all the ones that had followed. So many things that wouldn't have been if he hadn't been alive, so many things that he could have spared them from.

"Draco?" he whispered.

"Yes, Harry?"

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Am I nice?"

"Yes.Very."

"Then let's say that... these last years, I discovered things about our world that changed my vision of my fellow students... and myself "

"What do you mean?"

Draco sighed, and then smiled tenderly at Harry; "Life is hard and pitiless for all of us. If we work separately, we'll die separately; it's as simple as that."

"But... I thought Slytherins."

"You thought Slytherins were protected from the reality of this world now that the Dark Lord has risen again, don't you?"

Harry looked guilty at the ground. It never occurred to him that the Slytherins of all could be sad or afraid of their future.

"Yes. Apparently I was deadly wrong. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You've no reason."

"I do. I should have paid more attention to them instead of letting the Gryffindors hurt them; they seemed all so alone at Hogwarts last year. And... I'm sorry I didn't protect you too."

"Shhh. That's okay. I deserved it."

"No. I... I don't know what really happened to Charlie, and I don't ask you to acknowledge me, but Dumbledore trusted you so I... I trust you too. Last year I couldn't have said, but now, I'm sure you didn't help to get him killed."

"Are you sure? Are you sure I wouldn't have killed him if my life depended of it?"

"Would you?"

Harry watched him in the eyes, slightly afraid of the answer he was going to hear.

"Yes."

Harry's breath stopped in his throw as the blond continued.

"But my life wasn't in danger, neither this of someone I want to protect. Harry, I..."
Draco took carefully Harry's head in his hands, so that their noses were touching and their eyes lost into one another.
"Remind this, Harry, it's important. What you see or hear isn't always the reality, what you think or deduct may be false, only the time will prove itself to you."

"I don't understand."

"I know and it's normal. But one day you'll do, because time is all we have. And, by the way, you already protect the Gryffindors and it's a lot, so don't bother about Slytherins, I can handle them alone."

"But..."

"Shhh... No buts, Harry. Look at you, you look like a little boy, brave, I agree, but alone, afraid and very tired. I'm going to take you back to the Gryffindor's tower where you'll sleep a dreamless and restful night. I promise nothing will happen when you're profoundly asleep, and Merlin knows you need it."

As he had said, Draco accompanied him back to the tower. The Gryffindors hadn't noticed Harry's disappearance, and didn't heed his return. He went up to his room, and, for the first time in months, slept peacefully.

When he awoke, Harry's interest in Draco had turned from suspicion to lust to love.