Clarke pulled the blanket over her head and groaned. It was Christmas, and she was alone. Well, not completely alone. She had Bellamy, and his company was better than being alone throughout the holiday weekend.

Clarke looked around the room, and the night before all came rushing back to her. The way she giggled as she grabbed his hand leading up the stairs. The way he kissed her up against the hall wall and pulled her shirt over her head.

Rising from the bed, Clarke walked out into the hallway and picked up Bellamy's dark green flannel shirt he wore to the bar the night before. She crept down the stairs and into the kitchen. She grinned from ear to ear as she watched Bellamy cook. It felt familiar, and it felt right. And for the first time since her parents' divorce, this place actually felt home. Was it crazy for her to think like that?

"Bell," Clarke giggled, failing to stay serious, "If my dad catches you, we're both screwed."

"Relax, Princess. Your dad loves me."

"Yeah, but I doubt he would love knowing you sneak into my room at night, and if my mom found out, she'd lose her shit."

"All the more reason for you to stay quiet."

"I was perfectly quiet before you climbed up onto my balcony."

"Oh, yeah? Nerd."

"I'm not a nerd. My admissions essay for UCLA is due tomorrow night."

"UCLA, huh? So you're leaving then?" He asked sitting on the edge of her bed. Clarke climbed onto her bed and sat against the headboard.

"I have to. Mom wants me to go to the best med program, and right now, it's the best."

He placed a hand on her leg. Med school would be nice. As much as she knows she would love it, she doesn't want to go. Her desire isn't as great as that of Doctor Abigail Griffin.

"Clarke, you don't have to go just because your mom wants you to. This is your life, not hers."

"Just like having to work and raise your sister while in high school?" The words flew out of her mouth faster than she could think to shut it. The air was heavy, and Bellamy looked away and then back.

"Bellamy, I'm sorry. I—"

"It's different, and you know it."

"I do, Bell. I know. I'm sorry. I'm just on edge with everything. Mom and Dad's divorce, school and getting ready for college. I just want them to be happy."

He moved beside her, placing his arm around her. She moved closer into him and placed her head on his chest.

"Clarke, you deserve to be happy too, you know."

"I could say the same to you."

"Is it crazy that right now, here, with you, I am?"

"No, it's not crazy at all."

Bellamy turned to look at Clarke. She leaned against the wall in nothing but his flannel button up, her hair still messy and untamed.

"Jesus, Princess."

"What?" She asked, curiously, stepping forward and walking towards him.

"Nothing," he let out a breathy laugh. She was beautiful, but he couldn't tell her that. They weren't like that anymore or ever, "Come here."

He lifted her up onto the kitchen island and he kissed her.

"You taste like bacon," she mumbled, her lips still pressed against his. He pulled back. His hands still on her thighs.

"Well, maybe that's because I ate bacon."

"Smart ass," she said, playfully smacking his shoulder. He kissed her again. "What's the plan for today? You know, since our families cancelled our Christmases."

"You got two options - A or B, and then the Dropship tonight."

"B for Blake."

"You can't do that every time, Princess."

"You're the one that said A or B."

"Fine. Just know the system is rigged."

"So what's option B."

"You'll have to work for that."

"I can live with that."

"Get on with it then. We're leaving in an hour."

"Bell, toss me the keys"

"Why? I thought I was driving us back?"

"You are. I just want to show you something."

He tossed her the keys, and she fumbled with them. They fell to the ground, and Clarke laughed. Her laugh, somehow warmed his soul, and he smiled at her from across the car.

"First day?"

"Shut up," Clarke said. She bent down to pick up the keychain shining among the fallen leaves. The sunlight reflected off the metallic letters printed across it.

"So where are you taking me?"

"Where no one can find us."

"You trying to kill me?" He looked over at her, already knowing his answer. Her eyes, her laugh, and everything other possible thing about Clarke Griffin would be the death of him.

"Maybe," she smirked.

They ended up on Skyline Drive, an hour outside of town, and that was no surprise to Clarke. They used to come out this way often following the arrival of Clarke's 15th birthday. She'd only had her permit at the time, but her mom insisted she have only the best car to practice.

Bellamy teased her about it at first, but she didn't mind. He knew that while thankful for it, she never wanted anything to do with shiny and new. Besides, he was the one who got to drive it for the time being.

He pulled his truck to the overlook on the side of the road. He never grew tired of this view, but then again, it had never been the same without her. When she first left, he used to come out on his own and drown in his sorrows, wondering what he could have possibly done to warrant her leaving without receiving so much as a word from her.

For a moment, nothing outside the cab of his truck mattered. The snow fell softly to the ground, and Clarke felt her old self for the first time in God knows how long. She turned, grinning at Bellamy, and watched as he pulled a blanket from behind the seats and a bag.

"No fucking way," she threw her head back laughing. His face lit up at the sound of her laughter. "Oh my God, you remembered?"

"Of course I did. You're the only person I know who ditched some ostentatious dinner for a fried bologna sandwich in the woods."

"What did your mom say?"

The blonde smirked and cracked a giggle.

"You didn't tell her? Clarke, she's going to kill you."

"Please, I would've died of boredom before the second course came around! I'm doing myself a favor really. 'Clarke, honey, sit up straight. Clarke, darling, how is school? Clarke, dear, do you intend to pursue a career in one such as that of your mother or of your father?'," Clarke drunkenly mimicked in her most pretentious, old fashioned voice. She raised the bottle of wine to her lips. "At least, this is worthing dying for."

"You are something else, Princess. Do I even want to know where you got this wine?"

"My parents' cellar."

"Jesus, how much did this bottle cost?"

"I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you," Clarke smirked. She loved messing with him. Truth be told, it was their cheapest wine, a Sangue di Guida. For some reason, it was her dad's favorite wine, and she seemed to love it too.

She laughed, taking a bite of her bologna sandwich. Her eyes followed Bellamy as he reached behind the seat.

"Can you blame me? Best sandwich ever."

"One more thing," His face was turned from her, hiding his smile. He turned around with a bottle. "Fifteen dollars?"

"Busted," She mumbled through a bite of food.

"You had me thinking this was some ridiculously priced bottle."

She laughed, "To be fair, we actually did drink a few of those bottles."

"You're real funny princess."

"You remember that time after graduation when I met you at the falls?" He nodded.

The look he gave her was suspicious, but she was too distracted by his eyes. Old habits die hard, and once again, she finds herself imagining that all the constellations he used to point out to her when they were younger are right there in his eyes. She refuses to stray down the path of hopeless, unrequited feelings again.

"I think that one was three or four hundred."

"Please tell me you're joking."

"Nope."

Bellamy lowered his head in his hands, and she giggled moving across the bench seat and into his side. She pulled the blanket up to her shoulders. She still remembered the way Dom Perignon tasted on his lips that night.

"Clarke that—"

"Was totally worth your reaction," He shook his head and she paused, "Wait wait wait, we can't do this without the radio. What was it? 103.5? 10-"

"105.3?"

"That's it!" She leaned forward, reaching for the knob on the radio. She leaned back into him. He moved his arm around and placed it around her shoulders, pulling her body closer to his.

He was stupid for bringing her back here and not expecting old feelings to resurface. Now, here he was regretting his agreement in whatever this weekend shit was and coming to the conclusion that he was never really over her. And he never would be.

God, he was so pathetic.

"Do my eyes deceive me?" A voice behind Clarke feigned disbelief. She laughed, turning around. "As I live and breathe."

"Jasper!"

Clarke threw her arms around his neck, and Raven shook her head.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"I don't know," Jasper shrugged his shoulders, "Heard it in a movie once. Figured I'd try it out sometime."

"You're an idiot."

"Would an idiot invent the Lunar Ghost Stabilizer 5000?"

"No and when has that ever worked?"

"Several times, as a matter of fact, bird lady."

Clarke laughed looking between Raven and Jasper. She had missed them. She missed a lot of people. In fact, her friends were the only thing about this small town that she missed since leaving.

The blonde wormed her way out of her jacket and slowly pulled the beanie from her hair. In doing so, her eyes drifted across the bar to find none other than Bellamy Blake. He sat in a dimly lit booth, laughing at something Miller or Monty had said. Her cheeks turned red when Bellamy caught her staring, and he winked, cracking a smirk before lifting his glass to his lips.

"You good, Griff?"

"What? Yeah, I - uh - can I ask what a lunar ghost stabilizer thing is?"

"Of course! It keeps away the ghosts at night when Monty and I are making moonshine."

"Ah that sounds interesting."

"It's not really. Bozo here is always high on jobi when he's making shine and swears up and down he sees ghosts all the time."

"They may be more real than you think, Jas."

She looked down avoiding Raven's prying eyes. Jasper remained oblivious to her sadness.

"YES!" He shouts, drawing attention, "Mom is a believer."

Clarke, shook her head, embarrassed and laughed. She'd since long forgotten that moniker.

"Bellamy! Clarke!"

The pair turned their heads almost simultaneously. They stood over an orange and blue tent that they were putting together. The group had decided to go on a spur of the moment camping trip. It was their last fall in school together. Clarke, Raven, Bellamy, Murphy, Miller, and Harper would graduate in the spring, and Octavia wanted to commemorate their last official fall together. Bellamy, of course, was opposed to the idea, but he couldn't turn his sister down.

Monty approached Clarke and Bellamy with a sense of urgency and hesitancy. Bellamy sighed, frustratingly. The sun was setting, and they needed to get the tents up before dark.

"So we were all down by the pier, and we were playing Charades. It was our turn, and Jasper got Titanic. So he he stepped up on the bottom of the railing to lean over like he was Leo on the front of the ship. It was really funny because he -"

"Monty", Clarke said, ushering his story along. Clarke looked over at Bellamy who rolled his eyes.

"Is there a point to this?"

Clarke gave Bellamy a stern look

"Right, yeah so Jasper fell over, and he cut himself on the barnacles on the pylon.

"Jesus," Bellamy mumbled. Clarke put the tent stakes down and looked around for bag. Leave it up to the daughter of a world class surgeon to always carry one in her purse.

They walked over to the rocks where Jasper sat, bleeding.

"Hey! Look who it is! Mom and Dad to the rescue." Jasper laughed, drunkenly, as Bellamy and Clarke kneeled down beside him.

"Mom and Dad?" Raven asked, standing over them.

"Duh, these two literally act like they're our parents all the time," Jasper said, taking a sip of moonshine from his solo cup. "Jasper, stop messing with this. Jasper, you're gonna get hurt if you do that. Octavia, you're not allowed to have a boyfriend." He said, mimicking Bellamy and Clarke's voices. Miller and Murphy laughed loudly.

"Alright, I'm taking this. You've clearly had more than enough," Bellamy said, confiscating his cup and taking a sip of its contents.

"He's not wrong, Big Brother."

Glaring at Octavia, Bellamy threw his head back, drinking the last bit of moonshine in the cup.

"I'm never wrong. Just like I was never wrong about you and Mom sexing it up on the D.L."

Bellamy broke into a coughing fit, choking on the moonshine. His throat burned, and Jasper patted Bellamy's back.

"HA! I knew it!"

"We already knew that dumbass," Murphy said,

"What the hell? How?" Clarke exclaimed.

"We didn't until now."

"Classic Jasper and Murphy mess around" Jasper raised his hand for a high-five

"Shut up. It was one time. We're never calling it that."

"Mom and Dad are boning!"

"Ew, that's my brother you're talking about!"

"Good going, Princess."

Jasper in his state of inebriation wandered deeper into the bar. And throughout the course of the night, the group had somehow ended up in the booth by the back door. God, she missed this. Drinking and laughing as if it were all those years ago and she'd never left.

It still felt like something was missing, and that thing was Octavia Blake. She was in Virginia Beach with her boyfriend's family, as Bellamy had stated the night before. There was no doubt tonight would have gone differently had she been here. Clarke had no doubt Octavia would have some choice words for her. Can she blame her? Clarke left without a word and severed contact with both Blake siblings. Octavia had every right to be pissed with her.

"I'll be right back."

Clarke slid out of the booth and made her way up to the bar. Leaning against the solid oak counter, she watched as Miller hustled, fulfilling every order and making it look so easy. To her, at least, it was difficult. Bartending and savings held her over until Niylah offered her a job at the gallery and she sold a few of her own pieces.

Casually looking over her shoulders, her eyes landed on the empty booth. The table cloths had since been switched out for newer ones. The low hanging light was still the same, forever collecting dust. The glass window above the table wore the same faded letters naming the diner.

"I still can't believe summer is almost over."

"I feel like we were just yelling at each other over the dumbest shit, and now we've just graduated in June and it's almost September." He was never one for sentimentality, and Clarke found it odd how reminiscent he was in this moment. "It's the craziest thing."

"It's not the craziest thing," she said, ducking her head low, sipping on her Coke. She looked away from his stare, her eyes focusing on the white cloth underneath her glass. She could still feel the look he was giving her.

"Okay then, Princess. What's the craziest thing?"

It's not even like she planned to say it. The words just fell out of her mouth like the water rushing down the falls they used to meet at or Niagara Falls. She wasn't sure she'd even live to see Niagara Falls after this. It wouldn't be long before she died from the embarrassment of what's happening right now.

She's certain that if she didn't die from embarrassment, it would be her own heart that takes her out. It hammered against her chest.

He's silent. His tanned face was now white. That couldn't be a good sign. Her brain fumbled to find the right words to backtrack what she's just said. She desperately wanted to take it all back in an instant, but all that came out is the soft whimpering of his name.

"Bell- Bellamy, please say something. Anything?"

"I-I," He was at a loss for words. She had feelings for him. Clarke Griffin. His best friend. The girl he's secretly pined after or God knows how long had feelings for him. "I-I can't do this. I-I have to go."

He stood up frantically, backing away from the booth.

Suddenly it felt as if the light fixture hanging above the table were a spotlight. It felt as if the ten people in the diner were ten thousand. Worst of all, it felt as if her world were crumbling all around and she'd lost her best friend.

She remained in the booth, legs crossed as they were when the words left her mouth. She doesn't realize she's holding her breath or notice the mascara running down her face or the empty glass that he knocked onto the table when he stood. She's just stuck, frozen in time while the whole world is moving.

"Clarke, you okay? Hey, Clarke, what's going on? Talk to me," Monty asked, genuinely concerned. She wasn't sure where he came from or how he was suddenly here in the worst moment of her life. Did he see? Did he watch everything unfold?

Her lungs finally filled with oxygen, and her world started moving once more.

"I-I ruined everything."

She looked around for his figure. He seemed to have disappeared at some point in time from their group of friends, but she couldn't pinpoint when.

"Thanks, Miller. Can I close my tab?" She said raising her glass to her lips.

Her eyes fell to the table where it all happened. She refused to be the girl stuck in a delusional fantasy of what could have been. She refused to live a life full of regrets, haunted by her past decisions.

Too bad she already was.

"Already? Can I get you anything else?"

Miller stepped over to the register and back to the bar, and he handed her a receipt. She signed it, leaving a sizable tip. He'd charged her only half for her drinks tonight, and, well, it was Christmas.

She nodded, and before she even formed her question. He answered.

"He's out back."