a/n: wow.. okay.. so how long has it been since i've updated? whatever. no; i'm not sorry for making you wait that long. chapter 9 took a long time to write, and i see nothing for it. whatever... enjoy chapter 10; wont be updating any time soon because i'm off to boston. have fun.

and you know whats even worse? alexandre despatie and diving. what the fuck man!! he was suppossed to get gold.. but NOOOO.. stupid china with their stupid peng bo!! i hate you!!! soccer's on today, but they never show it! and my soccer player isnt there! this summer's been bullshit.

My love life is now officially complete with Dexter Potter. Our date went fabulously, as he took me to an italian restaurant and then to a dessert shop. He dressed so nicely for the occasion, and had walked me all the way home, leaving the faintest kiss on my lips. God, was a cheery. With that kiss, he made us official. We are official! He event sent me a bouquet of lilies on monday at work. Now, I'm not much of a fan for lilies - infact, I'm not much of a flower person, hence my name. I personally hate my name. My mother loves lilies and petunias, so I guess that explains it. I wish I had a cool name, like Constance for instance. I mean, how cool is that name? And how many Constances do you even know? Most people don't even get to meet one Constance in a lifetime. Serene too is such an awesome and unique name. I've heard of Serenas, but not many Serenes. But no; my name is Lily. Lily Annalise. I don't mind Annalise actually; that's pretty rare right?

Anyway, I was pretty 'electrified' after the flowers. Farris had a look of plain jealousy written all over her face, and I did not waste any chance to rub it in. Serene kept coming over, telling me how great this was and we'd always end our little mumbling chats with jumps and squeals. Although Serene was excited about my flowers, she was a bit put off about Sirius. She had asked him why he didn't give her flowers at work, and his answer was 'Why don't you tell your other boyfriends?'. That's a pretty big burn, and she's pretty pissed about it too. I do take Sirius' side about the boyfriends thing, but he shouldn't be talking; he's always surrounding himself with girls too. Those two should really stop this shit and hook up officially... like me and Dex! Oh yeah, I'm calling him Dex now. It's such a hot name.

Everyone at work - besides Moody and Winchester - were happy for me about the flowers. The only person who took Farris' side of the situation was James. When he saw them on my desk, he immediately asked me who they were from before I even opened the card. When I told him it was Dex who gave them to me, his face got even more closed and sullen. He wouldn't even come near us for the rest of the day. I wouldn't blame him. Actually, I feel kinda bad. Dex told me at the party that James had a thing for me. But Dex had a thing for me too in the end, and I kinda went the Dex-direction. James must hate me so much right now. But I can't help my feelings right?

We're here in the house of Number 87 Thindrow Alley. Dumbledore himself is holding the actual meeting this time. I came with Dex, Constance and Remus. The others were going seperately. So here we are, sitting around the kitchen, discussing the latest plans of Voldemort. But the thing is, I can't help thinking about Dex. About the date we had just the other night, walking by the park and sitting ontop of a hill watching the sunset. It was beautiful and so utterly romantic. I never thought I'd actually have such a romantic boyfriend! This is so great. My fabulous boyfriend who reminds me that my life isn't completely miserable shit.

I'm jerked out of my thoughts once again by Dumbledore. "Ms Evans, in or out?"

Oh great. Not one of these again. In or out? The last time I said in, I got myself into this mess. And this time, I have no idea to what it's about.

"Um, could you run that by me again, please, sir?" I ask, squirming since everyone was watching me. Constance and Remus stiffled a gigle while Serene held a smile. Sirius was shaking his head while James looked quite annoyed. Dex, who had his arm around me and was resting his head on mine, laughed in my hair.

"What I was saying, Ms Evans, was that Voldemort has yet another marvelous plan to make himself stronger. We've had spies and we've now got the knowledge that he insists on having dragon blood to make him stronger. Now, we've got Ms Kruberra and Mr Lupin handling the apothicary in Diagon Alley. Prewett and Gidgeon got the one in Hogsmeade. There's one apothicary where most people overlook in Pindrop Villiage. You might not have heard of it; it's a secluded little villiage consisting of only wizards, but there's only a hadnful of population. I've got Mr Potter - James that is - on the spot for it. I was wondering if you'd agree to partnership with him?"

Pindrop Villiage? I've never heard of it. I shift uncomfortably in my seat as Dex's hold tightens around me. I'm not exactly soothed by it, but it's better than nothing. Not only is this mission dangerious. but what's even more dangerous is the fact that I'll be working with James. He's avoided me for the entire week and whenever he DOES talk to me, it's strained, hard, and angry. But I can't refuse Dumbledore can I? Think of all the things he's done for me; he accepted me into the wizarding society, made me prefect, gave me encouragement talks and even helped me a bit when I failed that one Charms test. I give him a tiny nod.

"Very well, it's settled then. Well, off you go, Ms Kruberra, Mr Lupin,. Mr Gidgeon, Mr Prewette, Mr Potter and Ms Evans," Dumbledore says, clasping his hands together.

My mouth drops. TONIGHT?! The watch is tonight?! "Now?!" I ask in dispair.

Once again, people seem to be laughing at me. I think people find me amusing; I naiive girl who half pays attention and isn't aware of anything, unless it's repeated a second time.

"No, Evans, he means in a year," James says sarcastically. Sirius and Remus look at him curiously but say nothing. Neither do I. When was the last time he's ever been sarcastic with me? And he stopped calling me Evans a long time ago.

All I can do is blush. Yes, I'm that stupid. I'm the stupidest, most dense person in the Order. I hate this. I feel like I don't belong here. I still don't even know half the people in it and people think low of me. Just great. I say nothing to James' rude comment but follow him out the door instead.

"Bye Lily," says Constance and Remus together. They too seem grim about the assignment, but their backs are turned to me and they've just apparated out. So have Prewett and Gidgeon.

"Well?" James demands, looking at me. His wand is out and I just realize that he's ready to apparate. I dumbly pat my pockets for my wand, and find it on the ground. James makes a tsk sound and apparates out. I feel horrible. I Pick up my wand and am about to go too when Dex reaches me.

"Be careful kay?" he says, giving me a kiss on the head. I'm too miserable to even speak. He holds me into a tight hug which I greatfully return. We both stand there for a few minutes, just blissfully in each other's arms; actually, I think we've been there for more than a few minutes. Oh well, he makes me feel better. My fabulous boyfriend. I untangle myself from him, give him a nod, and apparate to Pindropn Villiage.

So I've arrived at Pindrop Villiage with a small little popping sound. It's practically pitch black; how do people actually live here? It's like a ghost town! I know I wouldn't live here. Oh my gosh! What's that sound?! Okay... just my imagination. Nevermind.

I walk around blindly, trying to find the apothicary with no luck, when all of a sudden, I see a stranger infront of me. I'm about to let out a gigantic shriek when he quickly clasps his hands around my mouth and points his wand to my face. It's only James, but he's got a furious look on.

Where the fuck were you?!" he hisses at me. Oh, that's right. Dex held me up. "If you came right before I did, we would've stuck together and you wouldn't be lost. I wouldn't have to waste valuable time looking everywhere for you; what if Voldemort suddenly came up on you? Or what if he came up on me? Or what if he went to the apothicary and got the blood? In every situation, you'd get us in trouble. Why don't you just suck in your stupidity and act smart for a change?!"

I've never known James' words could be this harsh. I feel like an imbecile; he's right. I try to hold back tears while he delivers another mean comment towards me.

"You're a witch, for god's sake Evans! You're going to be an AUROR. Start taking the responsibility and act like it! You're not a Healer. You're an Auror. Dexter's a Healer; maybe that's why you're so attracted to him."

So this is what it's all about is it? My relationship with Dexter. I'm about to reply when I rethink it. James is in his bashee mode; it wouldn't be wise to corrupt him even more.

"And geez Evans! You can use magic! Just light up your damn wand so you can have some light in the darkness."

Ouch. Now I feel even more stupid. Why does James have to be so mean?! My hatred for him is starting to grow back. The pair of shoes I'm so fond of is starting to look ugly and scratched everywhere. I can't stand him, but I say nothing. Instead, I continue following him.

He eventually leads us infront of the apothicary which is closed. He starts to crouch beside a bush, leaving me infront of the doorway, standing, looking like an idiot. He takes something out of his pocket and unfolds it. A weird shimmery slippery water-like thing comes out as he unfolds it. An invisability cloak! Where did he get that? Those are fucking rare! He's about to drape it over himself when he looks over at me. "Well?"

It just occurs to me that he means for me to go beside him. I hurry my way across the the pavement and crouch beside him.

"Closer, Evans. The cloak can't fit around both of us if you expect to sit a meter away from me."

I sigh inwardly and crawl beside him. He drapes the cloak over us. I look around, and am surprised that I can see out of the cloak perfectly. This is a pretty handy thing for spying. I realize that I'm beside James and I start to grow scared for myself again, and the feeling of my stupidity lurks over me again. I think I'm shaking a bit, and maybe shivering from pure fear. I wrap my arms around myself, and rest my head on my knees as I cry silently.

I don't think James realizes that I'm crying. shaking or shivering. Or maybe he does, but he's not doing anything about it. He's sitting beside me calmly, breathing in and out. It just hits me now how close we're sitting together. The whole left side of his body is pressed against my right. The warmth of his body brings a bit of comfort to my shivering one. I begin to calm down a bit, breathing a little more heavily; the aftermath of all my cryings.

"Do you think you can lowering your breathing rate?" he suddenly snaps, grinding his teeth. "At least you were silent when you were crying. If we're heard, both our asses are on the line."

This time, I'm pissed off. I can't stand his mean little comments, trying to put me down, just like what he did in first year, when I couldn't ride a broom.

"Why can't you just accept the fact that I'm with Dexter?" I demand, lowering my voice into a deadly dangerous one. He doesn't move; he doesn't even flinch. But he sits there quietly. I feel a bit triumphant when he's not answering, but he soon finds something else to say.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Evans. I have no such problem with you going out with my cousin."

"Yes you do! The reason you were down at your party was because you saw us talking to each other. When you found out we had a date, you got angry. Those flowers! You practically wanted to throw them at my feet in disgust! And you've hardly talked to me this past week! It's like you hate me!"

Before I know it, I'm crying again. And I don't even bother to lower my volume. He looks over at me and gives a sigh as if he's surrendering. He even looks vulnerable.

"Look, Lily. I dont hate you - "

"Yes you do! You started calling me Evans again, you don't talk to me! You're always throwing in mean comments towards me, making me feel like an idiot! You put me down infront of my friends and you always have a scowl on your face whenever you DO talk to me!"

He's about to answer when we hear a very faint, very distant noise. He quickly claps a hand over my mouth again, but I yank it out and thrust a fist at him. That feels good! Girl power! He looks in a lot of pain but manages to not even make a peep of noise, like most of the male population seem to do. What is it with men and not showing pain? And they never cry! I'd like to see James Potter cry for once!

"Dragon blood," hisses a voice, which seems more clear than the distant noise we just heard. I immediately being to shake once again, but James, who seemed to heal from my punch, takes a hold of my hand. I'm about to pull away, but the feel of his touch seems to calm me down. Instead, I grasp his hand tightly.

"Yes master!" replies a more high pitched voice. I peer out of the cloak and see two figures heading our way. One seems to be small and skinny, while the other one is a bit fatter and more tall. The tall one held himself more prominant, with distinct power looming over him. I edge forward in the cloak, and feel it start to tug at my movements. James gently pulls me away, and we both look out more carefully.

The two have now reached the door to the apothicary, when I see the smaller one. He's a Death Eater that was present at Constance's wedding. He seems to be trying to unlock the door, but the simple Alohamora spell doesn't seem to be working.

"Step aside!" the taller one demands, as he edges forward to the door. With a simple mutter, he opens the door. He turns to face the Death Eater, who coincidentally is standing our way. As he's turning, I look carefully at his face. Thin, high cheekbones, weird flared nostrils, thin mouth... OH MY GOODNESS! It's VOLDEMORT!!!!!! I'm about to let out an unvoluntary yell when James once again clasps his hand around my mouth, and gives me a tight squeeze with his other hand. I lean closer to him in a fresh wave of fear, shaking violently. James hugs me, and I know the reason for it. My shaking may corrupt the cloak and tug it, making us known, and hugging me is the only way to stop me shaking.

Is this the end of my life?! Am I going to die? I'm nineteen years old,. not even twenty. I'll never get married, I'll never have a baby shower, I'll never have kids, I'll never see my friends and family again! No more bar jokes and martinis, no television and telephones. Never again will I taste mom's delicioius cooking, or sit with dad, watching soccer. I'll never see Britain win the Euro or World Cup, I'll never see Petunia and her fiancee.

They're entering the apothicary when James makes a sudden movement. It looks as if he's standing up.

"James, where are you going?" I whisper, as random tears streak my face. He looks at me intently, and gravely.

"I'm going to stop him."

"But why?! You're going to risk your life for some stupid dragon blood?"

"Lily, if he gets the blood, he'll be more powerful. Better fight him when he's weak to get rid of him forever. I'd rather lose my own life than have anyone else harmed. And besides, I decided to go on this mission; and I'm going to do what I said I would."

And with that, he takes a stand, weaving himself out of my grasp and the cloak. Before going, he looks at me sharply, and kisses me. Dude; I'm completely shocked. Did he just kiss me?! I'm not his girlfriend! Why did he kiss me?! .... And why did that feel good?

Before I can say anything, he's out in the open, leaving me within the safety of the cloak. I know I should be out there fighting alongside of him, but fear holds me down. I stare wide-eyed at him as he stands infront of the doorway.

"Explliarmus!" he suddenly shouts, catching the two abruptly. He quickly catches their wands.

"What the - " Voldemort suddenly yells and turn around to James. He's about to finish his sentence when he notices who's standing before him. His face grows into an evil grin and he begins to laugh maniacally. James quivers a bit, but he's standing his ground. Damn, that guy is BRAVE!

"I will not let you take the dragon blood, Voldemort," James say, carefully putting more weight onto Voldemort's name.

The evil wizard immediately diminshes his laugh and looks at James. "You dare speak my name, boy? You're too unworthy for such a name as mine."

"No, infact, you're too unworthy of my name, which is why you're not calling me by it, but you're calling me 'boy'."

Wow. He has a lot of guts. I guess after all those years of being a marauder gives you self esteem and confidence right? I wish I had as much confidence in myself.

"Don't be foolish," Voldemort hisses. "You're a Potter. With the damned hair, you're quite distinguishable."

"I'm a Potter, yes. But do you know my first name?" James asks, jutting out his chin. I hope he doesn't get too cocky before something explodes on him.

But for once, Voldemort is is stumped. James Potter stumped Voldemort?!?! Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Before I had time to dwell on it, I see the Death Eater, sneaking up behind James. He's about to crouch and jump on him to get their wands back. Oh my.. what will James do?! What will I do?! What if James gets killed?! Think Lily, THINK!

"James, watch out!" I suddenly blurt, coming out from my secure hiding spot and grabbing James away from the Death Eater. Unfortunately, I'm too late because the wands are back in their possessions.

The Death Eater comes towards me and yanks my hair, as if punishing me for telling James about his plans. He keeps yanking, and he's even pulling me forward to him. I can feel hot tears spring quickly in my eyes.

"Lily!" James bellows, as he puts a spell on the Death Eater and takes me back in the safety of his arms, massaging my head.

Voldemort seems to be chuckling merrily. "So, it's James Potter. James and his.. little girlfriend Lily. By the looks of it, I'd say precious Lily is a moodblood."

James helps me get up as we both glare at Voldemort. It's unnerving to be looking at him straight in the eye, standing right infront of him, and even talking to him. This is even scarier than the time I crashed dad's car into a tree and he yelled at me for it.

"Yes," James says defiantly, and holds me up while standing with good posture.

Before anything else could happen, Voldemort conjured a spell on the both of us. We were pushed back by a powerful force; I bump into a brick wall of someone's store that takes the wind out of me while James is knocked unconcious by hitting his head onto a large stone.

"NO!" I mumble, trying to get up from my spot.

"Petrificus Totalus." I hear Voldemort say it lazily as he hits me with it, and advances on James, who's begining to come back to life. I can't move. I hate full body binds. I strain my eyes to see James, getting up groggily.

"Lily..." he manages to say. I can't say anything back to him. I can't do anything to help him. He's going to die all because of me.

"Shush boy," Voldemort says, giving James a kick in the ribs. James winces and seems like he's about to faint again, but he holds himself together. Voldemort points his wand inbetween James' eyes. "Now, I will give you a chance to live, James. I might even spare your little girlfriends over there, but I see no point in her existence anyway. She's weak, so I could just leave her be. It's YOU I want. So, if you'd like to live, you can follow me in my footsteps and become a Death Eater. If you choose to deny my offer, I will obviously kill you. It won't hurt. I promise."

Don't do it James!! I don't care if he kills me.. please don't do anything. I see James glancing over at me, and then back at Voldemort. He seems to be taking his time in answering the question, as if he's thinking about it. What's there to think about? Why would he join forces with Voldemort? I mean, even IF Voldemort was a good wizard, I wouldn't. He's too ugly to be MY leader!

James is starting to stand up, and looks directly at Voldemort. "Take the jinx off her and THEN I will answer you."

Voldemort looks carefully at James, but then shurgs. "Fine; she's useless anyway. She can't do anything."

I immediately feel the sensation of my body once more, but I'm still too weak, after being plummetted into the brick wall. I'm an auror! I'm suppossed to be strong! I stagger my way towards James, who shoves me behind him.

He looks at Voldemort again, and opens his mouth in answer. "Sorry there, Voldemort. Can't join your League of Death Eaters."

Instead of answering James, Voldemort screeches a curse at him. "CRUCIO!"

Without thinking, I push James down and I surrender myself to Voldemort's curse. It's all I can do; James has protected me most times, and I will stand up for him too! But the most unbearable pain seethes through me, my every vein is filled with piercing daggers.

"LILY!" I hear James scream, but only faintly. Pain has subdued everything; my hearing, my sight, my existance.

I feel my body do things I could never achieve on my own account. My arms keep twisting, and ankles keep spinning and cracking. My back bends unbearably, and it seems as though that's about to snap when a new pain rushes in. My head swells with pain. Pain I can't stand. I feel like fainting from it, but the force is pulling me awake to feel every such torture. My head is about to explode with pain cursing through it until I feel it all stop abruptly. I don't know why, as I'm feeling the aftermath of the Cruciatus Curse. It's as bad as having the curse put onto you. I can't move; every small movement I make can kill me.

But I must move! I'm an auror. Okay, I should really stop saying that; but still. That's what I am. Whether I like it or not. I painfully push myself to my feet, and I feel like tumbling altogether. I see Voldemort, James and the Death Eater negotiationg with each other... or whatever they're doing. Their attention has left me and I decide to take advantage of it. No one notices me even when I'm standing. Gosh, maybe they really DO think I'm just a little prat. I quickly feel around for my wand and find it in my back pocket. Luckily, it didn't snap when I was being cursed or when I was bumped into the wall.

I stagger at first, but then gain my composure. I aim my wand directly to Voldemort's back and yell "Stupefy!"

My spell hits him offguard and he immediately falls down. The Death Eater starts to advance on him but James, acting quickly, jinxes him too. James runs quickly towards me and grabs my arm. He rushes me inside the apothicary, and quickly fumbles through all these jars with weird maroon liquid. He wraps the jars inside his invisability cloak. We hear a weird grumbling sound and I grab his hands.

"Come on Lily!" James says quickly and quietly. "We need to apparate out of here."

All I can do is nod my head. I take about my wand and say "Number 87 Thindrow Alley."

I see myself in the Order with many of its members gathering around. I look about and see Dex, Remus, Sirius, Serene and Constance rushing towards me. James has now come up beside me, unwraps the invisability cloak and sets the jars on the table.

"Lily!" James says full of concern. It's nice to be concerned for. I'm about to answer, but I feel myself weakening again. The last thing I see is messy jet black hair and a pair of horn-rimmed glasses.