a/n: well, here you have it; chapter 11.

boston was fun... kinda went by a bit too quick. whale watching turned out weird because we saw dolphins instead of whales.. but dolphins are suppossedly 'rare'. pshh whatever. i got a lobster hat! hahaha! and america has the best candy ever! lifesavers FUSION baby!!!! and i finally got to taste juicy fruit strappleberry and grapemelon. sighh.. why isnt canada that great? i don't know.

thank you for all those who reviewed me and told me to keep continuing. that really did help me to write this chapter because i'm kinda in a writer's block sitch.

and thank you, pidget for wishing me a good trip. that made my day because that day wasnt a good one; seeing as i was missing soccer and diving was such a disappointment.

disclaimer: you suck eggs.

Oh, so ew. I'm out of St Mungos. Apparantly, the attack did a few wonders on me. Both ankles broken, 3 ribs cracked, my arms swollen and my spine dented. No worries; I'm all healed! Too bad everyone treats me like I'm some delicate figurine. That kinda sucks balls doesn't it? Dex is starting to jiggle my nerves a bit; he's too... worriful. He keeps asking if I'm okay, whether or not I need a rest, and if anything is too 'farfetched' for my enduring. Oh my god - I have another Jeremy on my hands! No way! This isn't suppossed to happen! Dexter Potter, my fabulous carefree wonderful boyfriend who lets me do whatever I want! Not cool!

So it's been how many days since I left... five? Exactly. When someone leaves a hospital, it means they're better right? All this... this babying is getting annoying. Constance won't let me leave her sight, Dexter won't let me do anything, Serene talks to me as if I'm about to faint, Moody and Winchester won't let me on assignments and Sirius and Remus treat me as if I were some stupid six year old. Oh yeah, and James. Although near the end of the attack day, he sounded a bit softer, I was fooled. He was all caring until the day I left the hospital, as if the attack didn't happen at all. He's still cold and hard. Seriously; what is the matter with that boy?! And I should be mad too! He kissed me without my consent!... Even if he does kiss very nicely. Oh god - what am I getting at? Dex does it much better. Oh, who am I kidding? Damn you, James Potter! Damn you!

Alright! So because of this stupid attack, I have nothing better to do in my life but mope around the house and stay alert for anything unusual. How the hell am I suppossed to stay alert for unusual activity when all I get to do is mope around the fucking house?! I don't know. Everything's become such a fag these days. No privacy, no freedom, no nothing. All I get is pity. Pity and attention. Oh Lily, how are you holding up? Be careful of thatm Lily! Wotcher Lily!... Pshh! I'm sick of this. I am careful! I do watch out! I'm nineteen! I'm an adult! Adults aren't told what to do! They tell others what to do! It's not fair!

I am currently in the living room, where Constance, Remus, Sirius, Serene and Dex are present. James apparantly did not want to come; I wish he could be more subtle for an excuse instead of straight out rejection to coming over. Oh well, that's not my problem is it? But I have to admit, after having James here practically everyday for a month, one tends to miss his presence. How he'd just go into your room and mess things, muddle with my muggle trinkets, raid Constance's closet and just... just how he's always there. But I see nothing of him. It's okay though; I have Dexter. He has the same messy black hair, with the same hazel eyes. Just add a pair of glasses and you've got James! Oh my... am I pretending that my boyfriend is James Potter?! Oh ew!! Oh my god! I'm such a disaster! I've ruined myself!!! Get out of my head James! Oh shudder... that was kinda creepy wasn't it? Okay, no more of that. Dex is so much more than James. I mean, he's taller, he's a healer, he's got a really nice figure, and he's... he's... well, I don't know! I've only been with the guy for so long! Stop making me feel guilty!

Well, here we are, just... lounging around the house. One can take so much lounging around these days.

"How are you feeling, Lily?" Serene asks gently, giving me a soft look. How many of these are people going to throw at me?

"I'm fine," I answer, grinding my teeth together.

I get up to go to the kitchen when Dex stops me. "Where are you going?"

Where am I going? Okay, so now what - I'm forbidden to go anywhere I like? "To the kitchen."

"What for?"

"What do you mean 'what for'"?

"Why are you going to the kitchen? Are you trying to escape from the kitchen window or something?"

Now that's a good idea. Unfortunately, I'm too fat for the kitchen window. "I'd like a cup of water, if you don't mind."

I dash for the kitchen before anyone can stop me. Honestly! I can't even step foot in the kitchen without getting a zillion questions pointed at me! This is ridiculus! I enter the kitchen to get my cup of water with a scowl inprinted on my face. As I walk out, I notice my wand sitting upon the counter. My wand... Ideas! I'm going to apparate out of this mess. I need fresh air! I havent had any since forEVER! Screw you Constance! Screw you Dex! Screw all of you! I'm going out, and nothing can stop me! I grab my wand, and say the apparation spell. Right before I finish it, however, something flahses before my eyes - James Potter.

"What are you doing?" he asks suspiciously. I freeze in my actions; luckily, my whole form was still in the room.

"Nothing!" I answer rather quickly, hiding my wand behind my back.

He raises and eyebrow and peers behind me. "Why are you hiding your wand?"

"I'm a wtich; witches have wands."

"You're in here by yourself."

"No, you're here too."

"Were you trying to apparate out of here?"

"No..."

"Come with me."

He pulls me by my shirt collar and steers me back to the living room. Okay - so much for the 'nothing can stop me' part. He leads me right up to everyone and places me in the centre of the room, where everyone looks at us with a funny face.

"Hey James," says Dex, trying to break off the sentence. James gives him a glare. I wonder if James was always this cold towards Dex.

"Lily was trying to escape," James tells everyone, ignoring Dexter's greeting. Everyone in the room gasped. Please! I wasn't escaping...

I wasn't!

"Why were you escaping?" Constance asks slowly, once everyone regained their composure.

Why was I escaping?! "First of all, Consrtance, I wasn't escaping."

"No? Then what were you doing?"

"I uh... I just... I just wanted to test out my wand. You know - I haven't used it in such a while. What if it went wrong?"

"Lily, wands are unconditional. They do not need to be tested."

"Yes they do! What do you do at Ollivanders? You test wands! I know I tested MY wand. I don't know what you did then, Constance."

Hmm... she looks a bit mad. Well, it's true! What do you do at Ollivanders? You test wands, to see your match! No need to test wands... the things people come up with!

"Fine then; you test them only once," Constance says offhandedly. "But what were you trying to do with your wand?"

"Like I said; I just wanted to see if it still worked," I reply, not looking her in the eye.

She walks over to me and faces me. I look down, but she holds my head until we're eye level. "Were you trying to apparate?"

I can't answer her! What if she suddenly goes all crazy bitch on me and yells? She might even take my wand away. But she's looking at me... she's glaring at me... Damn!

"Yes!" I say exasperately.

"Why?"

"Why? Why?! I've been locked in here for five days! I can't do anything without anyone knowing, I can't even take a simple stroll outside! All I get to do is stay in this fucking hell hole! It's not fair! I don't see any of you forbidding James to anything! Why me?!"

At this, I am greeted by silence. Aha! I win! Now, I shall walk out of here and strut myself along the street. No - I'm just kidding. But I will go outside. As I almost take a step forward, Remus interrupts me.

"But Lily, you were the one who got hit by the cruiciatus curse."

... So what?! Many people have got hitten by the dumb cruciatus curse!

"James was almost hit!" I argue back, even though what I just said didn't really make sense.

"Lily, you must be careful incase he comes back for you."

"But he wasn't even going for me in the first place! He was going for James! I'm not James! I just pushed James out of the way so he wouldn't be hit!"

Yet another silence follows.

"You should be careful of your health Lily," Sirius says, trying to sound kind and caring. I can't take this anymore!

"I am careful!" I yell at everyone, making them all scared. I think Constance took a step back. "My health is fine When someone leaves a hospital, it fucking means that they're fucking fine! I don't need you ninnies on my back day and night! I'm nineteen, and I'm an auror! Aurors are suppossed to be facing hardships like this! I took the job, I'll take the responsibility - not you!"

Everyone seems to be looking down at me, feeling ashamed. All except for James, who seems to be looking bored.

I glare at James, which he finally sees. He gives me a raised eyebrow with a look that says 'what did I do?'. "Why are you here?" I spit at him.

"Odd, I used to get such nice greetings from you," he replies flatly, giving me a bored look.

"I used to get those from you too."

"Yes, you did."

"So what are you doing here? You haven't been here in over a month. What calls you to come now?"

"I like to check up on my lovely friend Constance."

Check up on Constance? Now that's a first! Okay fine. It's not the first - but really. How lame was that?!

I turn on my heels and make for the door, but am once again stopped.

"Where are you going?"

This was surprisingly said by James. But I won't answer. I continue on my way, right to the door. I pause a little before, seeing if anyone would stop me. No one did. I feel a surge of pride welling up inside myself, as I grab the knob, turn it, pull open the door, step outside and shut it.

I'm FREE!

This is so great! I can do anything I want! I could go out and eat, shop, visit others... anything! Now, what shall I do first? I can't eat because I just finished breakfast about an hour ago. I can't shop because I need to save up some money for bills. There's no one to visit that I know of, and walking around here is a bit boring.

Blast!

What am I going to do? Just march back into the house and look like a dumbass? I think not!... Oh fine! I turn around and stroll back into the house casually. I walk back to the living room where no one seemed to have moved a muscle, and they're all giving me weird looks except James.

"Have fun?" he asked lightly, casually glancing in my direction.

"Shut up," I mutter with an edgy tone, sitting myself back upon the couch next to Dex.

"I could."

"Then do so."

"No thank you."

"Then get out of my house."

HA! That'd bloody well tick him off. But he doesn't look a bit hurt.

"It's not only your house," he replies, giving me a smirk.

"But I own some of it," I fight back, now sitting at the edge of my seat.

"So does Constance; and she wants me to stay."

"Constance, is that true?"

Everyone looks over at her where she seems to be squirming nervously.

"I prefer to stay out of this," she says quietly. Gee thanks Constance. Some best friend. Okay, I take that back. But seriously - gee thanks Constance.

"See?" he says, looking as if he'd won. "She does want me here. And besides, she's my friend."

"So am I," I say, although I sound a bit uncertain. He looks over at me with hard eyes. I relish under him.

"Really, Lily? You're my friend? Would a friend do what you did?"

"What are you talking about?"

What IS he talking about? What did I do? Oh... I get it; it's the Dex thing isn't it?

"You're dating my cousin!"

Bingo. I knew I was always smart... Okay, let's not get conceited here. No one likes a jackass.

"So what?!" I ask defiantly. I'm completely off my seat, standing to face him. Everyone looks uncomfortable; especially Dex. I think Dex also has a guilty tinge hovering around him. I don't blame him - when James gets mad at someone, it really IS a scary sight.

"So what?! He knew I liked you for ages!"

"You can't help your feelings sometimes!"

"Oh, so you can't help your feelings right? So if someone betrayed you, you wouldn't care right?"

Okay... what is this boy getting at?

"Did everyone know that Lily lost her virginity to some guy whom she has no clue to what his name was?"

I freeze. Right there, on the spot.

HOLY SHIT!

"And if you buy her any jewlery, she'll just trade it off for something better, not caring what you get her."

That's not true! It was just my mother's engagement ring!

"Don't be buying her any pets; she'll just kill them."

What?! I didn't kill anything! It was my owl! And it wasn't my pet! It was Petunia's!

"She lies about her weight and size."

It's not that much of a lie! It's just... oh screw you James.

"And she'll be telling everyone about sex; how bad you are and how you make her laugh when you do it."

At this, Dex looks at me appalled. I don't do that! I stand there, with unknown tears rolling away, everyone staring in shock at me.

"Prongs, maybe you should stop," inputs Sirius quietly. I look over at him who has this angry-sad face on.

"Well Lily; now you know what it's like to be betrayed," James says, still with the stiff tone.

I say nothing. What am I suppossed to say to that? It's true. I know what it feels like now; and James has been like this for a while. I can't help feeling a great dislike for him though. They're my secrets! But I supposse revealing secrets are less harsh than a broken heart.

No one seems to moving, except James. He turns around, and walks to the door. He doesn't pause as he steps out, nor does he say anything. All I hear is the click of the door being shut.

"Um... I think Sirius and I have some papers to go through," Serene says, breaking the silence. She pulls Sirius and they get out of the house.

"Yes, Remus and I need to go uh... go," Constance says uncertainly, as she leads Remus out the door to.

So this is where it comes to. Dexter and I, discussing something that we never dared to discuss; James.

"Lily," he starts off gently, pulling me down to sit with him. I can't look at him, and I dont even know why. "Maybe... maybe what we're doing is the wrong thing."

"Wrong?" I repeat dumbly.

He nods at me. "It's true; I knew that James liked you. Infact, I knew long before I even met you, when he was fourteen and I was I think around fifteen. But when I saw you, I just couldn't help myself. I always thought James was exaggerating about you, but when I finally saw you for myself, I figured he told no lie."

At this, I blush. That's pretty sweet. I never knew James would compliment me. Or that he liked me since... fourth year. Well, to my knowledge at least.

"I felt bad for asking you out; especially that I did it on his birthday. But I really like you, Lily. And I guess it's a bit selfish of me to keep you for myself when there is someone else who's more deserving than me."

James more deserving? Did Dex not hear what James said?! "So are you breaking up with me?"

"I just think that... we shouldn't be seeing each other under such circumstances."

"Right."

Awkward silence. Sighh...

"James is a really decent person though."

I look over at Dex who has a dead serious face on. I feel like bursting out in laughter but I painfully hold it in.

"Honestly. He's sweet, he's caring, he's loyal - aside from what just happened - and he really likes you Lily. He truly does."

I heave a sigh, not knowing what to do. Right now, no matter how nice people tell me James is, I still want to punch that mother fucker.

"Well, I'll see you around Lily. But can you do me a favour?" Dex says, getting up and walking towards the door.

I stand up and follow him. "What's that?"

"Just give James a chance will ya? I think you won't regret it."

"I'll see."

And at this, he walked out the door.

So I guess it's true; good things don't last forever. And there he goes - my perfect fabulous boyfriend who makes me forget that my life is miserable shit - out the door and never to come back. Thanks a lot James.