a/n: okayyyy a few notes to a FEW of you.
to Adnama: you dont like constance?! really?! i love constance. she's one of my favourite characters! but thats ok. everyone has a hate. but i think you meant RILEY and accidentally typed in constance. anywayssss, thank you for the compliment; although i must admit that i do not think too well of myself.
to Christina: thank you for your wonderful offer, but i must sadly let you down in saying no thank you. i do not need a beta reader as i already have mr nutters. if you have no clue to who mr nutters is, i'd suggest you read our profile. but you dont have to. here - i'll make it easier for you. theres two people on this account. i'm ms buggers and my partner is mr buggers. and we do the reading for each other. and besides, i dont really want to give you much of a hassle during school time. i'm sure you're a great beta, and maybe you could try other people? i'm really sorry about this. but thank you for calling my story good work. if you like beta reading, you should try writing something of your own. i'm sure it'll be awesome.
to James'ssnitchboxersLover : thank you for reviewing me, and thank you for saying i'm a good writer. i appreciate it very much. but you know what i dont appreciate? you coming up here and lecturing me about my laziness. i never said i went to college; i attend high school and am a junior, just like you. and i'm sorry that your teachers give you six hours of homework. unlike you, i get a pop quiz at least once a day in any of my subjects, so i do prepare myself before entering every class. my leisure time cant always be spent on the fucking computer because my eyes will go bad, and i need to get away from my house. and yes - compared to what my friends get, it IS quite a lot. to me, the sky IS falling. and no, i dont go to bed a 5pm because that time is spent doing homework. and also, i do need to juggle my time. can YOU handle a job three days a week at some hectic department store, coming home, eating cold leftovers and then doing your homework? plus tutoring little kids after school in math who cant seem to understand the concept of 2x24? so please dont come giving me a life lesson on how much of a slob i am. i dont deny it; i AM a slob. and right now, as i said before, i'm not too keen. so thank you for your review. i will put up another chapter, but this will take longer. so next time you want me to update, dont come all up in my face calling me lazy, and saying my sky is falling. because you dont know. and true - i might not know about you either, but the thing is, i dont care. and i'd suggest you not piss me off incase i get overly angry. dont worry, i'm not mad at you.
anyways, here it is. chapter 14. all written last night. go for it and read it, while i sit back and enjoy friggin english seminars.disclaimer: jitterbug go-go.
That talk with Remus helped. It's one of those rare times where we get our moment. He really is one heck of a guy; they don't make them like that anymore. I hope Constance knows how lucky she is. Well, she obviously does, but I'm so jealous. Anyway, when we got back to the house, Remus head to the ktichen while I went to the living room. Everyone was still in the kitchen talking, and I heard them ask where he went. But I heard no one comment on me. He didn't say anything of our talk, which I'm greatful for I guess. No one else should know about my problems. Not even Constance or Serene. With this situation, I trust Remus, and only Remus. Someone I know wouldn't betray me.
But even after that talk, I refuse to give up. I will not stand aside and watch someone else have their victory. I'm going to do whatever it takes. Although that sounds unnatural for me, I'm going to make a change. Change is good... right? I hope so. I really do.
So far, for the past few weeks, Riley has become an official member of our group. Although she's still nice to me, she tries to steer away from me. She's smart about that. She only talks to me when she's got someone else there; incase I would attack her. Like I would. Okay, I would, but even I'm not that evil. Constance has set up an extra chair to our table so I could have my seat back again. The thing is, James is now inbetween Riley and I. And I think he feels uncomfortable about that. Good. I plan to make him and his girlfriend as uncomfortable as possible. They still don't get my hint that I don't appreciate Riley. But they will. They will.
To make Riley's life the most unbearable pain whilst staying at my lovely house, I plan to make her as scared, uncomfortable, nervous and fidgety as ever. And my plan to 'reach they sky'... I think I'll be the persuing one these days. It sounds a bit weird to hear me saying that. I'm persuing James Potter. JAMES POTTER. WHOAAAA.. girl's got some serious issues erupting.
Okay, so new day, new start. Everyone's here; perfect. Everyone's gathered around the table; not exactly perfect, but it will do. While everyone's discussing the new recipe made out of goat spleen, I'm sitting here plotting away with my evil mind working furiously. That hex I did several days before, when Riley ate from my bowl, it really worked wonders! Of course, Remus knew what I had done and did the counter for it in her glass of water. I was bummed out about that and slightly pissed off, but hey - I got my moment. And I'll get many more. You can count on that.
Anyways, I have no idea what to do exactly. This persuing plan is way more work than I ever expected it to be. I wonder how James must have felt after all those years of persuing me. But then again, he was a marauder, and brilliantly stupid ideas come naturally to him. And add to the fact that he had the other marauders to enhance the stupidity of these ideas could've made it far easier. I have no one to help me. And no one would agree to help me anyway. They love Riley. I'm plotting against her. I mean, if you met Riley, you'd probably like her too. And don't come giving me the 'no I wont' shit because you don't know Riley.
Because I can't figure out a way to ruin her at the table, I must silently and patiently await the perfect moment. Yet every perfect moment is ruined by something. Like how Sirius suddenly spilled his bowl of soup and made a big scene about how his carrots which were brewed to perfection were now contaminated and not edible. Or how Constance suddenly started to have a sneezing fit because Sirius had shook the cloth he used wiping his soup at her. I don't exactly know how soup can make one sneeze, but it apparantly did. It's as if stupid things keep happening to prevent me of my actions.
As everyone gets up to leave the table, I sit there, feeling stranded. Lost. Like I failed without doing anything. Do you ever get that feeling? I get it all the time. I'm not perfect. It's just charms I'm good at. That and yelling at people. But honestly, I'm not perfect. I remember a time where people thought I was cuz I kept reading books. Oh golly! I'm smart because I can read! Geez... I'm not perfect. Even though I would like to be perfect, Riley's making up for everyone else. That bitch.
"How are you feeling?"
I slowly look up to find Remus, Constance, Serene and Sirius infront of me. I'm guessing Remus voiced this question, seeing as he's the only one who knows of my such existing problems.
"What do you think?" I retort, slumping my head back down. I feel like shit.
"You looked fine before," Serene says, taking a seat once again, beside me.
Constance follows suit, patting my arm. Oh yes! That can really help a person! Pat away Constance, pat away. "Is something wrong?"
IS something wrong? Uh... pfft yeah! Am I really that hard to notice?
"I think Lily would like to um... be alone for the time being," Remus says, taking the attention off me. "Or, shall I say, she doesn't want to be alone."
At this, I quickly lift my head giving him the most deadly grilling look I could muster up. He doesn't seem too fazed, but his grin has indeed broadened.
"What's that suppossed to mean?" Serene says, turning onto Remus. Everyone is turning at Remus, including me.
"Never you mind," he replies lightly, turning his attention to me. "You've been acting weird; that's no biggie."
"No I haven't," I say, turning my back to him, avoiding his stupid question.
Instead of leaving me alone, he takes a chair infront of me and Sirius comes to stand behind me. Great. I'm trapped.
Remus starts looking at me without blinking. It's as if I'm interesting. But then... he has his calculating face on... and right now, I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not.
"Stop it," I scowl, trying to look away. But I can't. As I'm about to tell him to stop again, his furrowed brow turns upwards and laugh lines start appearing on his face. He breaks into a laugh actually.
"What's so funny?" Constance asks uncertainly, looking cautisouly over to him. I too am looking oddly at him. I wonder what he's laughing at now. This guy just keeps getting weirder and weirder eveytime...
"Well, Lily," he says, choking back his gleeful noises, "I can honestly say that I'm astonished."
"Huh?" Constance, Serene and I are apparantly dumbfounded.
"You are persuing him!"
What - what! NO! I'm NOT!!!! Okay, maybe I am, but he wasn't suppossed to know!
"Persuing who?" Sirius asks. It's the first time he's spoken since the four of them followed me. How bad can this get?
"James!" Remus says, whispering loudly, but incase James heard in the living room.
Everyone in the kitchen seems to have fallen silent except Remus who's still giggling like an idiot. They're all looking agapely at me, and all I can do is sit there going all crimson. With my red hair. Which clashes horribly! I hate my hair! And yes, this got really bad.
"You're persuing James?" Constance whipser, taking after Remus.
"You?!" Serene says unbelievingly.
"James?!" Sirius crackles.
"Yes!!" I holler at them, making myself all the more embarassed. Stupid Remus! He blew my cover! So much for having him the only trustee.
"But... why?" Constance asks slowly, her voice small. Serene looks up at me expecting an answer.
"I don't know!" I exclaim. running my fingers through my hair. "And why not?"
"Because! It's James!" Sirius says, looking as if the world had ended.
"Oh, it's not that bad! Now, they'll finally get together!" Remus says with a jolly smile.
I scowl. "Seeing as how things are going, I'm not sure we'll be together soon."
"But honestly Lily. Why?" Serene questions yet again.
I guess I have avoided answering that question. But how am I suppossed to answer that? "Because! Is it so horrible that... I like him?"
"Repeat that."
Sirius is gripping my chair. His knuckles are white. He himself seems pretty grim.
"I like him."
Silence. Absolute silence with looks of astonishment. Oh come ON! It's not that hard to believe is it?
WELL?!
Pshh whatever. Like I care about your opinion. I don't need it.
"Well, this is news," Sirius whistled.
"And why is that?" I ask, turning on to him with my eyes narrowed.
"Because, it's just that, James has been trying to get you since what - forever? And once he's got someone else, you finally come through."
"Well, maybe - "
"And the scary thing is you like him willingly. I never thought I'd see the day."
It can't be that hard to believe. Really. It shouldn't be that hard to believe.
"I think this is good," Serene comments quietly. All heads whip to her direction. "What? When Lily and James get together, we can actually go out and do things."
"Don't we already do that?" Constance asks, a bit confused and brow furrowed.
"I meant that we can do things with them as a couple."
"Ahhh... it doesn't make much of a difference."
"Oh, it will," Remus says, winking at me.
I glare at him. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be this embarassed for myelf. "You know Remus, this is all your fault."
"Why?"
"If it weren't for you. I wouldn't have to be having this conversation! I trusted you!"
"It was going to come out one way or the other. Better early than late kiddo."
Serene and Constance look back and forth between us until they finally raise their eyebrows at me.
"You told Remus?" Constance asks slowly. Serene looks expectantly at me.
"Well, yeah," I reply, not knowing what they were getting into.
"You told Remus, and not us?"
"Yes."
"Well, I sure feel betrayed."
Oh sigh... not the jealousy discussion. I don't want to have this dumb talk. Constance and Serene won't even look at me. Well, it's their own fault. They were too obbsessed with Riley to notice me.
"She told me because I knew she was sad."
Everyone look over to Remus, who's looking at Constance and Serene.
"We know when she's sad too!" Serene retorts.
"But during that time, did you notice her?"
"What's that suppossed to mean?"
"You guys didn't even notice she was gone that night we had dinner."
"Yeah we did!"
"No you didnt. You thought she was right behind you."
"Well, anyone could make that mistake - "
"Serene, I have red hair!" I exclaim, breaking the chain. "How can't you not notice my absence?!"
"Anyways," Remus says, taking the tension away form me. "What I'm saying is; the reason why she told me was because I thought she looked sad and wanted to confront her. No need for jealousy girls."
"So we're okay right? I don't even know why you're so mad," I say, looking at them.
Constance sighs and puts on a small smile "Fine, we're okay."
We all look over to Serene. She looks a bit mad, but finally wavers. "I forgive you."
If I could roll my eyes at the moment, I would. Really - I don't know what they're so angry about. I have other friends too. It just so happens that Remus was there.
"So... do you have any plans to get rid of Riley?"
I turn around to face Sirius who has a glint in his eyes. This glint means trouble. I've been seeing that glint for the past nine years.
"Not at the monent," I say, feeling a bit ashamed. Well, I don't.
"I do!"
Oh great. Sirius has an idea. An idea from Sirius is never good. I probably wouldn't agree to his genius idea, but I'm pretty curious to hear it. No; I won't. I don't want to hear it. It'll probably be dangerous anyway.
"What is it?" Remus asks, before I could open my mouth.
"The classic way of course, dumb-dumb!" he replies, looking quite pleased with himself.
"What classic ways?" Constance asks, looking at him with curiosity. Now I wanted to hear it. Gee thanks Remus.
"You know..." he says looking at us. We look back at him in response. He sighs in frustration. "You don't know?! The classic ways! Spill something on her - I'd suggest chocolate milk shakes - and pretend it was an accident! Trick her into eating things she can't stand, like spicy stuff. Hex her toothpaste to make her teeth green! Put bleach in her shampoo! Anything!"
Hmmm... now, I must admit, his ideas aren't too shabby. I could do some of that. But does that make me an evil person? What happens if guilt gets to me? Will I be able to forgive myself? And what if James sees past all this and still sides with her? I don't know! I'm confused! I want to, but I don't want to. Why is every idea coming from a marauder something that will make you feel guilty? And how did they deal with such guilt? Oh wait; they didn't, because they have no sympathy. Okay, maybe Remus has sympathy, but otherwise, they have none.
"So... you up for it?" Sirius asks, giving me a serious look.
I look around the room, as if searching for answers. I see faces that tell me to choose. Whatever I choose, they'll help me. Well, at least I won't be alone in the sabotaging. But do I really want to do it?
Just at the moment, who to come into the kitchen but the happy couple themselves. James with his arm around her small slender shoulders, he stupid perfect hand lingering around his waist.
I look up to Sirius who seems to be giving me a questioning stare.
"I'm ready."