a/n: it's finally here!!!

sorry about the long wait. i just got the internet back up four days ago, and i had a few hectic homework summatives due. anddddd my cell phone bill's horrendous. never again will i use it. ok, i'll used it for emergency calls only. sighh.. my mother is going to freak.

back to this. attention everyone. this chapter is going to be one of the last chapters... of part one! huzzah. meaning that there will be a part 2 to this thing... (hopefully you'll read it). and this means more work for me huh.

well, enjoy this hastily written piece. i've decided to stop using italics. not only does it take time, but my eyes hurt from trying to pinpoint the spots for the italics. i'll just use capitals to emph my certain words.

(theres non need for disclaimers)

I think my sabotaging Riley has turned pretty well. Thumbs up, Lily. Thumbs up. I followed Sirius' instructions carefully - seeing as he was always there and eager to help - with the OCCASIONAL tips from Remus. Remus wasn't exactly one to root for Sirius' tactics, but I guess since he's so used to them, he likes to see them in action sometimes. Serene was full out in disagreement to the whole entire thing, saying I should just get over James and go back to Dex. I had actually forgotten about Dex. But whatever. If this doesn't work, then MAYBE I'll go back. Constance was battling with herself, whether to agree with me or Serene. She loves seeing pranks take place, yet she always feels sorry for the pranked. This is what happens when you're a good person - not that I'm a bad person.

........

I'm NOT! I'm a good person who enjoys a few bad things in life okay? Okay. that's settled.

Anyways, so far so good. We already accomplished the 'oops, I spilled my milkshake on you' trick. That went quite good actually. Riley, who I assume is still a bit scared of me, had lightly laughed it off, though James was disappointed. He called me a klutz. Which I do not deny, and monotonely told him thank you, and he scowled. Okay, he's a bit mad at me, but who cares? Riley had quickly cleaned it off with a wave of her wand. I forgot we had magic at our side, so I was not counting on her being clean. But oh well - mission one accomplished.

The second thing Sirius and I did was the 'I accidentally-on-purpose tripped you' thing. We were going to Diagon Alley - a great place for a trick like that because theres always a crowd - and Sirius had 'accidentally stepped on her toe. She winced in pain, and while James was scolding Sirius, I put out my own foot while she was holding her aching toes. She tripped and hit her face. The bad part was that her face was just two inches away from the barrel of live beetles, so I was put off. Hey, at least I got to trip her right? Of course I'm right.

For the third thing, we went along with Sirius' shampoo gag. Remus had helped us here, seeing which colour would disfigure her the most. We went through red - which I absolutely disagreed on because of my own colour. We went through purple which actually suits her. We went through green, but that too looks good on her - though I don't know HOW. So finally, Remus had suggested white - which Sirius and I had fully agreed with him on.

We had to go over to her house in order for this prank to take place. We had persuaded her that we'd love to see her house because we KNEW that such a person who dresses so nicely would also dress their house smashingly. I hate to admit it, but her house is gorgeous. It's so 'in'. So chic. So perfect. I hated her even more after that. Anyways, while Sirius and Remus had engulfed her into a conversation about wall colours - which she was eager to discuss - they gave me the thumbs up. I went into her bathroom, found her shampoo and charmed it to turn her hair white. Not all at once of course; that's too risky. The dye will settle in after five hours. Don't worry, Sirius had - unsubtley - asked James when Riley preferred to shower. James had answered hesitantly that she showered during nights. So that was good. She wouldn't see her hair until the next day.

Well, the next day was good. She had white hair. And this time, she couldnt unjinx it, because I had put the spell that only I could remove it. Great huh? I do not plan on removing it. So as a result, she went out to buy four bottles of muggle hair dye. Her hair right now is still a sad light shade of sand. But the thing is, she looks good in sand-coloured hair. I hate her. She looks good in practically everything. The positve note here is that her hair is now falling off with extreme dying. How happy am I? I'm content.

As said before, James doesn't seem happy with it all. I think he knows that Sirius had something to do with it. I hope he doesn't know I did. The thing is, no matter what we do, James doesn't seem too fazed. I swear, if we shaved off Riley's head, he wouldn't notice the difference. That guy is too into her. But I won't give up. Not just yet. Oh hey... that gives me an idea. If I could somehow convince Riley to shave her head, James might think she's ugly. Although I seriously doubt it, at least I'LL think she's ugly! It's like, a win-win situation! Awesome! I am SO genius.

Is what I'm doing a bad thing? Really, I know it's a bit cold hearted, seeing as I'm doing it to someone who has nothing to do with anything. Yes, I feel guilty, and yes, sometimes I don't even want to do it and just accept the fact that Riley is with James instead of me. But for once in my life, I want something for myself. Now, I'm not saying I'm a good samaritan, like as if I've done so much good to the world. Truthfully, I don't think I've done anything worth the mention. Okay, maybe I've done a FEW things... but it's nothing compaired to what Mother Theresa's doing is it? I don't think so.

I gave up my bicycle to Petunia when hers broke. We were little back then. Ah, the good old days, when we were young, restless and annoying gits who pissed the shit out of our parentals. I sure miss it. Anyways, this was back when Petunia and I were on 'okay' terms... you know, talk a bit here or there, small little chats about the weather. Okay, fine. Not the weather. We were too young and too cool to discuss the weather. More like who Jimmy, the popular boy from preschool was sharing his crisps with, or what Deborah from across the street was wearing. Yes, talks like that. Now, I admit, I still talk about little matters like Jimmy and Deborah with Constance and Serene. Except I now call it gossip. Instead, we discuss what Gus from work did to his girlfriend the other night, or what Farris did which was hilarious for us, embarassing for her.

Okay, I'm getting off the point. Back to it. I gave up my bike when Petunia's broke. So for the summer, I was bikeless, sitting at home, doing nothing but stare at the radio. The radio wasn't that bad, it had games and... stuff. Stuff like music. Boy, isn't Nirvana the greatest? And Ted Nugent! Beach Boys for life baby! Okay, so, I think my sacrifice for Petunia is very great, seeing as she always was the materialistic one. Fine, that was me. But she was the selfish one. No doubts on that one. So I think that proves my point that I usually think of others before myself.

Not satisfied are you? Well, here's another one. After my owl ate Petunia's bird, I took my life savings to buy her a new one. Yes, she wasn't happy about it because it came from me. And she didn't accept it, saying that I couldn't buy my way out of it. Out of the guilt. I didn't actually feel guilty. I felt nothing. But I bought another bird for her anyway. Doesn't that show I have heart? I think so. Anyways, I returned the bird to the pet store the following day, and when I came home, she was willing to accept it. When I told her I gave it back, she called me a selfish little brat who only got the bird in the first place to clear off her plate. I said she didnt want it, and then this big argument errupted. I won... by pointing my wand in her face.

My wand saved my ass dozens of times with my sister. Whenever we got into an argument which she'd most likely win, I'd just point my wand and I'd win. If she calls me something that really bothers me, I point my wand. During my seventh year at Hogwarts, when I broke mom's favourtie china, and Petunia caught me, she started screaming to my mother what I've done. I just simply repaired it and sent it back to its shelf. My sister started saying all these things about how I use magic to cover for me. I explained to my mother that I didn't break anything; she wasn't too convinced. But still - at least I managed to repair things. If I didn't have magic, my ass would've burnt that night.

So... I deserve this get back at Riley. Too long have I put others before myself. And too long have I bent over to let people walk all over me. I will get my victory!... Does that sound selfish to you? Well, I DON'T CARE!!!!! Everyone's allowed to be selfish sometimes right? Hell yeah. Besides, everyone is selfish at one point in their lives.

Maybe I shouldn't do the hair thing. It really does seem a bit mean now that I'm thinking more clearly. Maybe I should just put a whole stop to this. Serene is still trying to get me out of the whole thing, with Constance still deciding whether or not to be for it or not. Maybe Serene's right. Maybe I should forget about James and go back to Dex. Now that I think about it, it really does seem good. He's older, more sophisticated. Otherwise, he's just like James isn't he? Because I can't think of another difference between the both of them.

Okay, I made my decision. Stop tormenting Riley for no good reason and just go back to Dex. I hope he's still single.

I quickly call Dex, who seem's very surprised that I called him. I ask him if he wants to do something, and he really seems enthused about it. We talk a bit, and arrange a meeting for this friday night. Great!

- - - - - - - -

Okay, so this whole getting over James thing is going great! I'm on my third date with Dex, and I havent even thought about James once!... Okay, yes, I have thought of him once. Okay, more than once. Maybe twice. Okay FINE! I've thought about him since I made that phone call to Dex, and I'm still wondering if I'm doing the right thing. I don't know!

"I'm glad we're back together, Lily."

What? Oh, yes right. I'm on a date. With a Potter. Dexter Potter to be exact. Not James Potter.

"Yes, so am I."

Okay, I think I said that a bit too quickly. I hope he doesn't catch it. Oh good, he didn't. Whew. Don't blow cover. You're on a date with Dexter. Not James.

"So, how are you doing lately?" Dex asks, sipping his wine.

Oh! There's wine? Great! I think I'll have some. It might help take James away from my mind.

"I'm doing great," I answer, pouring wine to the rim of my glass. Dex gives me a look, but I shrug and swallow it by gulps, earning me another look.

"Lils, are you feeling okay?" he asks, concern filling his face.

How sweet. He's concerned for me. "Oh, I'm dandy."

And silence. Never once had there been a silent moment in any date I've been on with Dex. Well, there's a first for everything. Well, not everythying. Most things.

"Would you like some more wine?"

"Yes please!"

This is good. Everytime I think about James, all I need to do is take a gulp of wine. Wine's not as harmful as beer right? Right?!? Oh, who cares.

And silence. That's okay. Dex and I can share comfortable silences. Silences are great aren't they? Except I never had any sileces with James. He was always so nosy and everything. Wine.

I remember this one time when we were both first years, and he stepped on Peter's toe, and Peter crashed into me and I started screaming because his wand poked into my ribs. That wasn't too bad. James apologized. Wine.

Hahaha, oh yeah. This one time in sixth year, when he still kept asking me out, I'd ask him what he wanted to go out with me for. His answer was that so he'd know what it'd be like to kiss a red-head, and then I punched him. That was great. Wine.

And before I know it, everything's blurry. I can't have taken that much wine could I? I hastily grab for the wine bottle which is... empty.

"Dex!" I slur, giving him a lop-sided smile. "Did you drink all the wine?"

"Um... no. You took it all."

Oh. I took it all. Well, it's not enough. I try to stand up to ask for another bottle, but I end up falling over. At the last moment before I hit the ground, Dex catches me.

"You know, maybe we should just call it a night," he says. Call it a night? Wow, already?

"So soon?"

"Lily, look at you. You're... drunk."

"Don't be silly! You can't be drunk with wine!"

Sadly, right at that moment, the wine glass I'm holding suddenly spills on him.

Before I know it, he's whisking me out of the place. I stumble on my way out, and he takes me home. I'm not drunk am I?

- - - - - - - - -

He's saying something. Infact, he looks quite serious about it.

I honestly have no idea what he's talking about.

" - like James."

What was that?

"James? Where?" I ask, suddenly panicky and excited at the same time. Wow, I guess I'm pretty deluded right now. Ahawhaw.

"See?" He says, giving me a look.

"No, what did you say?"

"I said, maybe you're starting to like James."

"Don't be silly Dex. I'm going out with you."

"Lily, look at you! You're drunk, your shoes are falling off, your hair's a gigantic mess. You can't even pronounce your words correctly. Usually, you're prim and proper when we go out."

"Well, excuse me for breathing!"

"I do. You really need a breath mint from all that red wine."

I feel dissed. I throw my purse at him, but it misses by a mile. I really have bad aim. Or maybe it's the wine. No, it's my aim. He sighs and picks it up, handing it back to me.

"Lily, why don't we just call it off? Pretend it never happened."

"But why?"

"We've both seperated. You like someone new. Why don't you just go for him?"

Am I getting permission to go after his cousin?

I don't think I answered him, because I'm already inside the house with the door slammed. I feel my way across the halls, my head hurting like a total bitch.

The house is a bit quiet. I hear something upstairs, but that's obviously Serene. No wait... who lives with me again? Oh yes, that's right. Constance. Constance upstairs making banging noises. Probably having another round of sex with Remus. Well, at least one of us is getting some!

"Lily?"

Holy shit! That was scary. And my head really hurts now...

"Lily, are you alright?"

Someone seems to be lifting me off the floor, helping me stand up. Unfortunately, I can't stand up.

"Lily?"

My visions seems to clear a bit, but it's still fuzzy, like back in the restaurant. I can't be that drunk! It's wine! Oh hey, it's James. Wonderful. Of all people to see me in this state.

"'Lo James..." I slur, pushing myself away from him and leaning against the wall.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asks, concern in his voice. How great. Pity.

"Of course I'm okay. What makes you ask?"

"Lily, you're drunk."

How many times are people going to throw that in my face? I'm not that drunk! Geez.

"Lily?" he says uncertainly.

"Huh?" I ask dumbly, grabbing around for my purse.

"What happened?"

"Nothing! I was just going out with Dex."

I'm not sure if his face showed any emotion after hearing his cousin's name, but his voice sounded different.

"Oh. I never thought Dexter would be the kind of person to let his girlfriend get drunk on him."

"I'm not his girlfriend."

"Oh?"

"I'm not!"

"Okay, okay. So what were you doing out with him?"

"To get things off my mind."

Oh... that sounded wrong. What if he thinks I'm using Dex?

"You were using him?" he asks, a bit of disgust showing.

"No! I was trying to..."

"Trying to?"

"Nothing."

"You were trying to nothing."

"Yes, that sounds right."

"You are so drunk."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Yes."

"See, you admit it yourself."

"I didn't. What were you agreeing to?"

I am so out of it right now.

"You were agreeing with me that you're drunk."

"I'm not drunk."

"It's okay, Lily. You can tell me why. I promise not to tell Constance."

"Don't you have a girlfriend to be getting to?"

At this, he seems to pause. Looking ashamed. Good.

"Where is she?" I ask, looking straight at him.

"Home," he replies lightly. "She had a headache, and went home."

"Oh."

That wasn't the answer I was expecting.

"So, why are you drunk?"

"I don't like Riley."

Okay, now that really wasn't suppossed to come out.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't like her."

"And may I ask why?"

"Because she's a snob."

"Lily, she's sorry for taking your seat. And your bowl."

"She's perfect in every way."

"No one's perfect."

"She thinks highly of herself."

"She does not."

"Why are you defending her?"

"She's my girlfriend! I have to defend her."

"You're my friend. Defend me too."

"I can't."

Ouch. That really hurt. Honestly, even through this drunk faze, it stings.

"Why can't you?" I ask, feeling all the hurt and suddenly anger.

"Because you have no right to judge people before getting to know them," he answers, his patience waning too.

"I don't judge!"

"You judged me!"

"When?"

"Uh... all through school and up till this year, perhaps?"

"You're different."

"And why is that?"

"Because I like you now."

"So why can't you like Riley?"

"Because she's a fugly bitch!"

"Don't call my girlfriend a birch when you dont know her."

"I can call her anything I wish to."

"You know Lily, sometimes, you can be the most judgemental, stubborn, arrogant ass on earth."

"You should talk."

"Oh, I think I should. You think that I'm arrogant? Try looking at yourself for once! God, you make everyone do everything for you. You depend on others. You put yourself before everyone else! You're so selfish sometimes!"

"I'm not selfish!"

"No? Okay, how about that time, when Vera Hetworth in Ravenclaw did a better charms report than you? Remember what you did? You stole it from her, crumpled it, stomped on it and poured pumpkin juice over it so she couldn't hand it in, and you'd get the top mark."

"It was just that once!"

"Whatever."

"You have no right to judge me!"

"Oh, you should talk."

"You want to know why I don't like Riley? Do you?"

"Yes! Is it because she's taller than you? Is it because she's more sophisticated than you? Is is because she's got a better future ahead of her than you do?"

"It's because she has YOU!"

Anddddddddd silence. He seems to be taking that all in. And we seem to be sitting here for five minutes of complete silence. I try to push myself up on the wall, and head upstairs, but I end up falling over and landing on my head again.

"Are you okay?" he asks, coming over to me, his voice seemingly strangled. I shove him away.

"Don't help me. I don't want to depend on you," I say, using his own words against him.

"Lily, this is serious! I meant that only - "

"Only what?! Huh?"

"Only when you're in situations where you can handle things by yourself. Apparantly, it doesn't seem you can handle yourself drunk."

"Yes, I can."

"Let me help you."

"No!"

"Lily, let me help you..."

"No..."

"Lily!"

And before I know it, everything's pitch black.