a/n: enjoy this chapter.

Okay... don't panic. DON'T panic! Wait... why am I even panicking? Besides, it's been well over three hours. Well, for one thing... oh, nevermind. The point is, he kissed me! He KISSED me! Am I the most happiest girl ever to touch ground?! I think so! Heeeheeee I can't stop smiling. I'm excited, I feel flushed, I want more.

But I can't.

You know, that thought just really bought my whole elation down. That's not cool. Why did I have to tell him we weren't 'friendship material'?! What the hell does that mean anyway?! Oh bugger... this day can't get any worse can it?

"Blimey, watch it!"

OUCH!!!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!

Okay, so apparantly, this day CAN get worse. Clutching my aching head, I look to floor to see what had hit me. Someone had charmed a jar of... pickles... to fly to the person behind me. And I was standing up at that precise moment.

"Don't bewitch things to fly if you don't know how!" I hear myself crying out, grabbing the jar in my free hand. "THIS is how you make things fly!" I charm the jar myself and send it zooming back to the original thrower, making it hit him on the arm. Ha! That's what you get for hitting Lily Annalise Evans with a jar!

I plop down on my seat, with my head buried in my hands. Gosh that bloody well hurt! Stupid pickles. Why do they have to be in jars?! Can't they just be compacted in frickin paper bags?! Geez! I swear, I am SO going to sue the pickle jar company! And Daddy will help me. Or I hope he will.

"Are you okay?"

Damn, leave me alone! Scowling and glaring up, James is leaning his head over my cubicle wall. He's concerned. For ME!

"No," I mumble, tyring to lift my head up. Honestly, I'm not kidding about suing the pickle jar company.

"I could go get you some ice," he says casually, as if trying to sound like he doesn't care. Well, he does. I can sense it. Even if he doesn't, I really want him to care.

"I can get it myself."

I stand up slowly, showing him that I'm not exactly stable but will try to do something. That I'm not completely helpless. And that he might lend a hand.

"Alright then," he replies, turning around and heading back to his spot. He wasn't suppossed to say that!

Resentment starts to overcome me again, as I curse him and stick my tongue at his back. Still clutching my head, I stalk over to the hall, where the weird little ice despenser is. I can never get used to it. I mean, I'm so used to having fridges and freezers. I'm a witch and I still can't get used to seeing ice magically appear even in the hottest sun.

"Lily! What happened to you?"

Turning around, I find Serene and Sirius, arm in arm, looking flushed. Serene's once neat pony tail is now messed up and stray strands of hair is flying all over the place; but she still manages to look smashing. As does Sirius, who seems to be sporting the hairdo that all the Kiss members have. Except he looks better.

"Why do you ask?" I say, putting the ice in a small plastic bag and tying it up.

"Half your face is beet red," Sirius tells me, giving me a concerned look. "What happened?"

"Some dumbass decided to bewitch a pickle jar to fly over to his friend and it just so happens to knock me out with it."

"Nice; very nice. Red's your color!"

He quickens his pace, trying to get away from me incase I decide to do something to hurt him. Which I really want to do, but my head hurts to much to think of something good. Serene is now beside me, linking her arm through my free one, and walking slowly with me back to our office.

"Did you talk to James?" she asks, giving me a sidelong glance.

I raise my brow at her, returning a sidelong glance. "Yes..."

"So...?!"

"So what?'

"Are you guys..."

"What?"

"You know! Are you..." she makes a weird motion of the tips of her to index fingers bumping into each other.

"No."

She seems shocked. "Why not?!"

"You can't have everything in life, Serene," I answer, looking away. My eye catches Sirius leaning on the wall of James' cubicle. James sees me and looks at me. At that moment, our eyes lock, but we both look away just as quickly.

"But you were meant for each other!"

"Not really. I can think of other people."

"Oh yeah, like Jeremy? Psh, I think not!"

"Yeah well, love is stupid. I'm giving up on it."

"But what about love at first sight? Isn't that what happened with James? He saw you and he just snapped."

"Maybe for James, but not for me. Love is blind, Serene. Therefore, I do not believe in all the 'love at first sight' crap. It's all bogus anyway."

"Suit yourself then; though I really do hope you both get together."

"That won't be possible."

"Huh?! Why?"

"We've reached an agreement that we can't be friends."

"Why not?"

"We can't get along as friends. We keep getting messed up; him getting jealous of Dex, me hating Riley. It's just complicated."

"You can't be friends..."

"Correct."

"You can't be friends."

"Yes, we just went through that, Serene."

"You can't be friends!"

"Okay, didn't we just discuss this - "

"You can't be friends - "

"Serene, I KNOW!"

"NO!"

WHat?!?! We're both standing in the middle of the hall, apparantly attracting everyone's attention because they're all looking at our direction. I hope they didn't overhear our conversation. Serene looks around the place and shoots everyone a snobby look.

"Well?" she states, giving everyone a look of disgust. "Get back to work! Don't meddle with things that aren't of your business!"

She sure has a way with commanding people. Everyone listens to her. No one listens to me everytime I try doing something like that.

"Anyways," she says, pulling me, making me walk back with her to her own cubicle and seating me in one her comfy poofs. Her cubicle is much bigger than mine; but that's because she's bewtiched it to make it as big as her own room. She's got a desk that's just over a quarter of a meter tall. The reason for that is because her seats, or her poofs, pillow, bean bags seats and fuzzy rugs, aren't tall. It's really comfortable, just sitting in her cubicle. I don't bother with anything in my own. Her desk is the most awesome shape; like a splotch of goop that's been slattered down. Her designs are top of the line fashion. I'm so jealous. Maybe I should start decorating my cubicle...

"Yes?" I ask, drawing my attention back to her. She's sitting across from me with a serious face on.

She stares at me hard until she finally speaks up. "You can't be friends."

"Serene I KNOW!" I cry exasperately, trying to get off a subject that she just doesn't seem to grasp. She's a bit slow sometimes.

"No!"

"No what?!"

"Don't you see?!"

"See what?!"

"You say you can't be friends because you can't stand seeing each other with other people, and that something of the sort will always be there to disrupt you."

"Uh huh...?"

"Lily, how thick can you be?!"

"Whaaaaaaaat?!"

"If you can't stand seeing each other with other people, why don't the both of you just hook up?!"

Okay, I have to admit, that thought hadn't come to me. Yet it's so obvious! Why did I not think of it?!

"Anyway," she continues, filing her nails. "You're both obsessed with each other, and you both truly like each other. It's common sense! The only practical thing to do! So you can't be friends - you can be boyfriend-girlfriend!"

I could kiss her right now. "You think?"

"I don't think; I know."

I love her so much right now, words can't describe it.

That's it. I'm going to tell him! I'm going to yell it to him. And then he'll sweep me up in his arms and we can live happily ever after like Cinderella and Prince... something. It'll be great! Just like a fairytale! Every little girl's dream!

Except it isn't. Nothing right now is a fairytale, let alone a dream come true. Nothing screams happiness, only depression. And how can I tell him? It was me who told him we couldn't be anything. It was me who had to make up that stupid 'not friendship material' thing. What the hell does that even MEAN?! It was all my doing. It was me.

It was me.

Damn. I really need a big dose of happy again. It's all just vanished. Gone. Zilched. Like always, my joy can be taken away from me just like that. Great. This is so dumb! I like James, and he likes me! I KNOW it! But... we can't be anything. Gosh, why me? Why is it ALWAYS me?! I hate you, you stupid... love-causing... bug. Stupid cupid! I hate you. You're one real mean guy - I'd honestly love to clip your friggin wings so you can't friggin fly! I like someone who can't be with me and it's a shame. And I KNOW that you're the one to blame. JUST SET ME FREE DAMN IT! SET ME FREE!

"Lily?"

Serene is still sitting there, but freezes while filing her pinkie nail.

"Yes?" I mutter, my elation put out.

"Is something wrong?"

"Chyeah!"

"What?"

"I can't tell him."

"Why not?"

"Because! It was me who told him not to come near me! It was me who said we couldn't be friends! If I go talk to him, I'm a hypocrite!"

"So what? Everyone's a hypocrite at least once in their life time. Just undo whats done and tell him you like him."

"You think I can?"

"Hey hey hey! Remember me? Now that I'm finally admitting it WILLINGLY, don't tell anyone okay? I liked Sirius."

"Serene, everyone knew that."

"Yes, but I didn't."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I knew, but I wouldn't admit it to myself. And then one day, I just got the courage and... told him."

"And what did he say?"

"Finally."

I burst out laughing at what Serene had just told me. It makes me feel better and even gain my nerves back. Maybe I could tell him. I hope he'll listen. I hope he's not mad. I hope he still likes me, even if it hasn't even been six hours. I really hope it works out for us. And I can only hope.

- - - - - - - - -

Okay, don't panic. You'll just walk up to him, ask him if you could have a word, and explain it all to him. It's all good. it's all good.

Is it?!?!

It's all good. Relax. Take a deep breath; fix your makeup. Make sure your skirt is creaseless. Is your top inviting? It shouldn't be. Okay, there. Spray your hair if you've got frizz. Pop in some breath mints. Remain calm. Alright. Breathe. Just breathe. And start walking.

Start WALKING.

Okay, I'm walking. Walking ever so slowly to his cubicle. Sirius has left. Well, it's been at least half an hour since Serene's talk with me. Giving myself a prep talk was really helpful. I mean, I'm calm, I'm relaxed, I look good, what more could I ask for?

How about some confidence?

Shut up.

Anyway, just a couple of feet away. Stay cool. Stay cool. Cool as a cat. Cool as ice. Cool as Antarctica. Cool as -

"Hey!" I hear myself cry before I can help it. Someone had just bumped into me, spilling piles of parchment all over me. As I open my eyes, I meet the floor.

"Sorry Lily! Excuse me, but I need to go deliver these to Mr. Moody!" says one of the workers, Stanley. I give a sigh and pick myself up. So much for looking perfect.

"How many times are you going to run yourself into things?" asks a voice from above me.

Standing up properly and brushing the creases off my outfit, I raise my head to James. He's trying to look serious but is failing.

"Sorry?" I say dumbly, rubbing my arm, where Stanley had crashed into me.

"Nevermind. Are you okay?" he asks again, looking at me. My heart flutters.

"Oh, I'm fine - !"

Ouch... I just accidentally slipped on the heels of my shoe and collapsed again.

Smooth. Very smooth. Good job, Lily. You just made an ass out of yourself.

"I take that as a no," comes his answer, as I feel a pair of strong arms helping me up. I try to stand, but my ankle goves way, causing me to slip an fall again. But he catches me before I hit the ground.

"Thank you," I mutter looking bashful. This must be the most horrible moment for my ego.

"I know, I'm not suppossed to be doing this, but I can't just leave you there crumpled in the middle of the floor," he says, helping me into his cubicle and propping me in his big comfy chair behind his desk. "I wouldn't want you making others trip and causing them to strain their ankles too." He gives a small smile which I try to return but end up wincing. "I'll go get you some ice."

"No, that's alright," I reply quickly, trying to stand up. My ankle feel like burning as I put my weight on it and I cry out in dismay.

"Sit yourself down, Lily. The last time I asked if you wanted me to get you ice, you said no. And I saw you walking to the machine; it was really sad."

Heh. Whatever.

"Thank you," I mutter again, looking down to the floor. Why is he suddenly being so nice? Oh wait - isn't that what I want? So I can explain things to him? But didn't I also want this to go perfectly, and instead, I get my ribs punctured, arm bruised and ankle strained? Nothing's perfect I guess.

"Here you go," he says, handing me yet another plastic bag filled with ice, and sitting down the opposite, less comfortable guest seat. Oh yeah, I forgot he gave me his nice seat. How sweet.

I take the ice and try to put it on my ankle. The thing is, I can't. My arms are so stiff and bruised, and I don't want to bend over or my ribs will feel like agony. I try lifting my leg up in the air, but it just gives me more pain.

"I hate this!" I cry, slamming the bag of ice on his desk, and throwing myself back against the chair. "SHIT!" Great. Now not only is it my ankle, ribs and arm - it's also my back. Totally rad.

James suddenly bursts out in laughter as I shoot him a glare. "Sorry," he says shakily from the laughter. "You just look so sad and helpless. Here, let me do it for you."

He picks up the ice and walks over to me, gingerly picking up my ankle and patting the ice down on it, all the while laughing his stupid ass off. I give him a scowl which he notices and laughs even harder.

"I'm sorry, Lily, but you just looked really stupid!" he says, shaking his head.

His laugh is infectious. As is his smile. I can't help but smile myself. And I can't help but start laughing at my own dumbness. We're both in his cubicle, laughing like two lunatics who have nothing better to do but to laugh. We laugh for a long time, and soon, I'm forgetting what we're laughing about.

"Oh man..." he sudden;y says, trying regain composure. His eyes are wet with tears and he's still chuckling lightly. My laughter dies down more calmly. And now, we're both silent again.

"James?" I say quietly and tentively.

He looks up at me with a questioning look. "Yes?"

Oh great. I had this speech all prepared. DOn't forget. Think, Lily. THINK!

"Yes?" he asks again, this time raising an eyebrow. Of all time to happen!

"I'm sorry!" I suddenly blurt out, burying my face in my hands. Ugh... I just bent my arm.

"Sorry? Why?" he asks, putting the ice down and sitting back in the seat infront of mine and bending over the desk.

"Because!"

"Because...?"

"Just - because!"

He gives me an odd look and tilts his head to the side. "Um... is this one of those trick things that girls like to do, saying something and meaning another thing? Or that they say 'because' and want to say something but is waiting for the other person to say something first?"

I take my hands off my face and look up miserably at him. "I didn't mean it."

He looks at me with confusion. "Huh?!"

Honestly, how thick can one get? "I didn't mean all those thigns I said."

"What things?"

"All that crap I said earlier."

"Oh."

OH?! Is that all he can say?! What a mother - okay, calm down. Calm down. Relax. Just breathe.

"Um... apology accepted?" he states, still looking dumbfounded with his head tilted.

I give a sigh of annoyance. "I honestly didn't mean it."

"It's alright. I didn't take any offense in it."

"And you're willing to accept my apology just like that?"

"Sure, why not?"

I've never met anyone that easy going. It takes forever to get Serene, Constance and I to forgive each other. And it usually takes around a week for us to come to. It hasn't even been six hours and he'll just forgive me?!

"Are you feeling okay?" I ask, giving him a suspicious look and sharpening my eyes.

He shrinks back into his chair and looks at me like I've gone insane. "If I said I'd forgive you, it means you're forgiven."

"Just like that?"

"Yes...?"

"Just like THAT?!?!"

"Yes."

"WHY?!?!"

He sits comfortably in his chair and props his feet on the leg rest at the side of the cubicle. He corsses his arms and gives me a shrug. "Why not?"

"Because!" I stammer, still confused and unsure.

"Because?"

"Because!"

"How many times are you going to answer me with because? I'm forgiving you because you apologized and you said you didn't mean it."

"Juts like that?!"

"YES!"

Wow. Men are SO different from women. I wish women were more like men sometimes. Life would be so much easier. No child birth, no needing to crouch at public toilets, less stress over outfits, makeup and hair... all the advantages.

"Anyway," I say, shaking me head to rid of my useless thoughts. "As I was saying, I didn't mean it."

"You've informed me of that," he answers, sitting back more leisurely as me shifts his arms from his chest to behind his head.

"I didn't mean it."

"I know."

"No, I didn't mean it."

"Yes, I know."

"Do you?"

"Yes, I do. Does that mean you'll accept me as a friend again?"

I pause at his question. Think, Lily. Think. You can be his friend. If he's your friend, you don't ever have to risk breaking up, you can always stay on talking terms, and he'll always be there. He'll give you advice on guys and what to do when you're with one.

"Well?" he asks, his face starting to light up by the second.

I look intently at him. I don't know... "No."

His face immediately drops. He pulls himself back to sit up properly in his chair and thinks about my answer, all the while nodding slowly to himself.

"Well then," he says gruffly, avoiding me. "I guess you should be off. Oh wait - your ankle. Right. I'll er... get going then. Leave you in peace with your ankle..."

He gets up to leave and I can't help smiling. "Where are you going?"

He turns around and sees me smiling. He looks uncertain and lost. "I was going to leave you alone."

"Why?"

"Because..."

"And I thought I was the only one who said 'because'."

His mouth crinkles into a small bewildered smile. He takes his seat again, but sits up straight and doesn't look at me. "Why did you call me back?"

"Because I wanted to."

"Wow, did you just add something to your 'because'?"

"As I was saying, I called you back for a reason."

"Which happens to be...?"

"I said we couldn't be friends."

"Yeah, I got that."

"We can't be friends because we can't seeing each other with other people. And that other people will always disrupt the friendship."

"Yup."

"So we can't be friends."

"I KNOW, Lily."

"And if that's the case, then why can't we just be together?"

He seems to be sitting still in his seat. His gaze is somewhere distant where no one can see except for him. "What?"

I stifle a giggle. "Maybe we can just you know... get together. If we can't stand seeing each other with different people, then we should be together. That way, neither of us can complain."

He looks up at me in disbelief, his mouth half open. The look I get from him looks like as if he thinks he's seen a mythical thing.

"Don't you agree that it's a good plan?" I ask innocently, sitting back slowly in his chair, careful of my injuries.

He nods his head slowly, never taking his eyes off me. "Yes... but you - together - me - US?!"

At this, I can't help but give a small laugh. "Yes, us."

"Wait a second," he says, shaking his head and leaning towards me. "YOU, want US to get together?"

"Yes."

"Like in a relationship?"

"Yes."

"As in boyfriend-girlfriend?"

"Yes."

'US?!?"

"Yes."

"YOU want US to be together?! YOU?! WILLING to go out with ME?!"

"Why not?"

"Why not? Why NOT?! WHY?!"

"Because."

"Just get to the point!"

"I like you."

That seems to shut him up. Gosh, finally. He can yell pretty loud. I pat my ears with my palms, trying to regain my hearing to its normal volume. Ahhh, there we go.

"You told me that before," he says quietly, and looking at me. "But I didn't think you meant it."

Gee, I'm hurt. "Why not?"

"Lily, you were drunk."

"Oh, for Merline's sake! I WASN'T DRUNK!"

HOW MANY TIMES ARE PEOPLE GOING TO THROW THAT IN MY FRIGGIN FACE?!

We're both silent for a moment. Both thinking of what I've just said. Serene's right; I do feel better now that I've got it out of my system.

"Are you serious?!" he suddenly bursts, now standing up with his hands pressed to the table.

How long is it going to take for him to grasp the concept? Maybe I should have picked someone with brighter brain molecules.

"Yes, I'm serious," I answer, giving him a dead serious look which he accepts.

He's looking at me; I'm looking at him. He's moving closer to me, my head is tilting to the side...

"Oh - sorry!"

We both break apart just as suddenly as the abrupt interruption. What the fuck now?!

We both turn to see Stanley. He gives an embarassing squeak.

"Yes?" James asks impatiently, his tall fram towering over Stanley's smaller one.

Stanley shrinks back and gulps, looking scared for his life. "I just wanted to apologize to Lily again for crashing into her. I was running late and I couldn't give her a proper apology."

Awww... how nice. I smile at him and he seems to be less scared, now that he sees I'm also in the cubicle. Does James really look that scary? Let's have a look - ohhh... he really DOES look scary... Well, as long as he doesn't look like that with me!

"Well?" James demands, drumming his fingers on his desk.

"Yes - right," Stanley stutters. "Sorry about that Lily, and if there's anything I can do, you just name it!"

"Actually, there IS something you can do," I say.

He looks up at me, as if scared that my request will physically affect him. "Y-yes?"

"You can leave us alone now."

"Oh, right." And with that, he runs off to whever he was previously.

"So..." James says, stalling for time and peering closely at me.

"So," I reply, looking nervously up at him.

He gives me one of his famous goofy smiles, the ones which I've hated and learned to adore.

"Where were we?" he whispers, causing bumps to inflict my skin.

He's moving closer to me. Please let there be no interruptions this time. I give a quick glance around to make sure no one's around. Once I'm assured, I relax, and bend my head to reach his.

The tingly feeling will never go away.

so. did you enjoy it? ha, i doubt it. ANYWAYSSSSS, yet another quick update.

unfortunately, all the people of my grade are doing the oh so wonderful government-put literacy test - the most dumbest test ever to be created. because of the literacy test, i've been homework free. and what better way to spend free time than to sleep, eat and get this story out of the way? exactly.

well, as i said, this is the last chapter. NOTE THAT i haven't put up part 2 of the story. do not worry; i will post an author's note after this chapter to inform you that part 2 is up. so just keep me on your alerts okay? well, if you're interested in what happens later. or if not, just... keep coming back.

anyway, on science; no, i'm not taking anger out on science. i'm just so friggin bored that i have to complete this story. on the otherhand, history is getting to piss me off. i'm sick of looking at trenchfeet. and spanish influenza. gosh.

so thank you for reading this all along and encouraging me all the way. there were countless of times that i just wanted to stop (i'm sure some of you can remember) and even got mr nutters to console me of writer's block. but its ok. i made it in the end. and part 1 is finished.

be happy i'm writing part 2 for you. daayuuuum (hahahaha)! most lily&james stories just end off when they get together. but since i'm such a good being, i've decided to lead you all to the end. yes, that tragic end. blame jk rowling for that.

anyways, until the author's note and part 2, the sequel, ms buggers salutes you to happy readings.
(hahaha that is the corniest fucking line i've ever written.)