AN: Thank you so much for the reviews, you don't know how much they meant to me. I didn't think anybody would actually like this fic, or even read it; so thank you. Here's the second chapter already. It's a bit long, and I appologize if it's boring. :/ Wanted to finish setting up the "mood" for later, show the feelings that Dwayne is feeling about what happened, so on. It'll get better, you'll see. ;;
And, Southern Lil' Me gave me the idea of pairing him off with a diva and I'm considering it. ;) If you've got any ideas, please feel free to let me know; I'm open for suggestions. :) Thank you once again, and I'll stop my rambling now.
Little Angel 19
= = = = = [Chapter 2] = = = = =
"He... He woke up?"
"Yeah. And he knows, Amy, about what you did; so you might want to get out of here."
Although Dwayne knew that Steve and Amy were talking in a really low voice because they both thought that he was still asleep after a very bad night, he could still hear them talking. Actually, he hadn't even fallen asleep after the constant nightmares that he had had throughout the night; he had simply closed his eyes. After Kurt had told him about what she had done, he had gone into some sort of shock; he hadn't been aware of anybody even talking to him. Everybody kept trying to get him to try to eat something, to move, to talk, to even blink, but it had all been useless. Eventually the doctor gave him something that would make him sleep, but even with that he had had a horrible night filled with nightmares and ghosts haunting him.
So, giving up any hope of actually falling asleep, he had simply stayed awake, but with his eyes closed; or simply opening them when he knew that no one else was in the room. Mick, who had been the one who had stayed with him throughout the night, would occassionaly walk outside for a few minutes before coming back into the room to watch TV without turning up the volume.
When he had heard Amy walk inside and greet Steve, who had gotten there just ten minutes before, something inside of him seemed to freeze and send cold shivers all throughout his body. How could it be that she had gotten married with someone else? How could she have done that, after swearing that she would always be with him. That she would always love him, and that she would never leave him alone. Did she even care about him anymore?
'Probably not,' he thought sadly as he closed his eyes even tighter, wanting to shut out the world and wanting to forget everything. Forget the fact that life had played him a bad card and that he was now left with nothing.
No family. No life.
Nothing.
Tears seemed to sting in his eyes for what seemed to be the hundreth time, but he tried to keep his face straight so that no one would see the fact that he was breaking even more than what he was already. He was completely broken now, but his body was finding a way to break into even more pieces - smaller pieces that he would never be able to put back together.
Amy had been watching her husband, or ex-husband now, and had to bite her bottom lip in order to fight back the tears that she had been expecting long ago: the tears of relief for finding out that Dwayne would be ok. Years ago she had dreamt about that day and had looked forward to it with anticipation as she watched the way that his face looked peaceful and in a deep sleep. She had expected him to wake up, smile that smile that he only had for her and for him to at least whisper that everything would be ok. Then she would fill his face with soft kisses before holding him without letting go until some doctor had to pull her off of him.
He was awake now, but now she couldn't fill his face with kisses. She had no right to do so. She had no right to even be there; she had abandoned her husband at the most critical time of his life.
Swallowing a knot in her throat, Amy turned to Steve before having to wipe away a tear from her face. "Steve, can you please...let me stay here with him for a bit?"
At that, Steve frowned and folded his arms in front of his chest. Out of Mick, Kurt and him, he was the one who resented the fact that she had remarried the most. Mick and Kurt were understanding, claiming that she had a right to move on and to be happy, but he didn't understand that reasoning. There was no point. She supposedly loved him and cared about him, but now he almost hated her for hurting one of his best friends.
"No," he answered defensively. "I'm not getting out of here."
Letting out a sigh and closing her eyes, Amy shook her head and wiped away yet another tear. "Please. I won't be here long, and he's sleeping, right? I won't do anything; I care about him too much."
When he heard that, Steve couldn't help but frown at her - almost scowling. How dare she even say that? How dare she even be there...? In order to not say the words that he had been wanting to yell at her for years, Steve simply clenched his jaw tightly before walking out and almost slammed the door on his way out.
As she watched him leave, Amy folded her arms in front of her chest as well; not moving. Now that she was back in that room, part of her wanted to run away. She remembered those days when all she would do was cry and pray that he would be ok: that some sort of miracle could happen and he would suddenly open his eyes. She remembered the helplessness that she had felt day in and day out as she watched him on that bed and all she could do was hold his hand.
Looking down at her own hand, sobs started to get choked inside of her throat. She felt so lost, so...alone. Turning towards Dwayne once more, she tried to smile, but instead more tears simply rushed out as she talked. "How are you feeling, Dwayne...?"
At that, he opened his eyes slowly and turned to her; his eyes glassy with tears. "How did you know I was awake?"
"Because I know you," she answered as she smiled very slightly and went to sit down on the chair that was placed next to his bed. "How are you feeling?" As she asked, she unconsciously caressed his forehead gently; something she had often done not only while he had been in the hospital, but even from before.
If Dwayne had been expecting anything, her touching his forehead had not been one of them. With her touch it made him remember those mornings when they would wake up together, warm underneath the sheets and the blankets. Before he had loved her touch; the warmth from her hands and the feeling that he got every time she did it, but now...
Now her touch seemed to burn. Something inside of him churned and turned with each stroke, knowing that she wasn't his anymore. She belonged to another man now, and although he wanted to hate her, he couldn't. He still loved her, and it was knowing that he still loved her but could do nothing about it that her touching him hurt.
Just as he was going to answer, a lump in his throat seemed to start choking him and he had to close his eyes to make it go away. "I, uh," he started saying, turning his head towards the other side so she would stop touching him. He didn't even want to see her anymore; it all hurt too much. "Not bad, I guess. Woke up, so that's good, right?"
"Yeah," she answered quietly as she tried to keep a smile on her face. The moment he had looked away, though, she felt her heart break all over again. "We're all really glad that you're awake now."
Letting out a small scoff, Dwayne rolled his eyes. "Sure."
Upon hearing his sarcasm, Amy frowned at him in confusion. "You don't believe me...? We are glad that you woke up."
"Especially you, right?" As he asked, his voice sounded bitter.
"Dwayne..."
"What, Amy? Why are you even here, anyway? Did you come to shove it in my face that you remarried...?"
"Dwayne, please-"
"I know you remarried, Amy; I know everything, ok? You don't have to do your little pity calls, I don't need you here. I'm ok now, I'm awake, so now you can go. Go back to your husband and do me a favor; just stay there and don't ever come to see me again."
"Would you listen to me?" She stopped for a moment, trying to compose herself and keep down her voice. His words had hurt her, but she should have expected them. She should have just left when Steve told her to. "I'm really, really sorry that things turned out this way. I wanted to wait for you, to see you wake up, then take you home and continue with our lives. I wanted us to-... I wanted us to have a baby, or babies, and have our own family. You think I wanted things to turn out this way? You think I wanted you to fall off of that stupid thing and have you lose consciousness all these years?"
"Oh, so it's my fault."
"No, it's no one's fault." Amy wiped away her tears and continued talking. "But it just...happened. I didn't want it to happen, but it did, and..."
He turned towards her, his eyes now dry and filled with anger and resentment. "And you married him. How long ago?" He waited for her answer but, when she stayed silent, he clenched his jaw slightly. "How long ago, Amy?"
"Almost three years."
"What's his name?"
"Kevin. He's a really nice man, and we're..."
"...happy, I know," he finished for her. The next question that he was going to ask seemed to be too farfeteched for him to even formulate it. He didn't even know how he managed to gather the strength to find his voice. "How's your son?"
At first Amy didn't know what to say, or if she should even answer that. Steve had mentioned that he knew everything, but she hadn't thought that they would have told him that she now had a son. "Fine. He's getting big."
"That's...great," he answered apathetically, exhausted both mentally and physically. Aside from the fact that the conversation had taken its toll on him, just the fact of dealing with everything that he had to deal with now was getting him even worse.
Amy knew that he was tired, and that he didn't want her to be there; that he didn't want to see her, but she didn't want to go. She wanted to stay with him, yet at the same time she just wanted to go back home. It felt as if she was suffocating in there. "I think I'm going to get going now. I'm really happy you're awake now." Taking her purse, she stood up and, unconsciously, she started to lean towards him to kiss his forehead.
As he saw her doing that, Dwayne closed his eyes and turned his head towards another side, where she wouldn't see him. He would have moved away from her, but he was far too weak to do anything but move his head.
When he did that, Amy realized what she was doing and stopped; letting out a small sigh. "I hope you get better soon," she said bravely as she smiled at him. When he didn't say anything, she bit her bottom lip again and started for the door.
Before she reached it, Dwayne talked again in a low voice; still not turning to her. "Don't come to see me again. I don't ever want to see you again." Although he tried to keep his voice low so as to hide all the emotions inside of him, he couldn't hide the coldness and anger that seemed to drip from his words. He didn't open his eyes, so he didn't see Amy nod and quietly walk out; but when he heard the door close he simply opened his eyes and tried to relax. Tried to ignore Steve's voice, asking him if he was ok. Trying to ignore the way that his breathing started to quicken and his eyes seemed to get flooded with tears. All he wanted to was to forget.
Forget the past. Forget the present.
Forget love. Forget life.
Forget her.
And, Southern Lil' Me gave me the idea of pairing him off with a diva and I'm considering it. ;) If you've got any ideas, please feel free to let me know; I'm open for suggestions. :) Thank you once again, and I'll stop my rambling now.
Little Angel 19
= = = = = [Chapter 2] = = = = =
"He... He woke up?"
"Yeah. And he knows, Amy, about what you did; so you might want to get out of here."
Although Dwayne knew that Steve and Amy were talking in a really low voice because they both thought that he was still asleep after a very bad night, he could still hear them talking. Actually, he hadn't even fallen asleep after the constant nightmares that he had had throughout the night; he had simply closed his eyes. After Kurt had told him about what she had done, he had gone into some sort of shock; he hadn't been aware of anybody even talking to him. Everybody kept trying to get him to try to eat something, to move, to talk, to even blink, but it had all been useless. Eventually the doctor gave him something that would make him sleep, but even with that he had had a horrible night filled with nightmares and ghosts haunting him.
So, giving up any hope of actually falling asleep, he had simply stayed awake, but with his eyes closed; or simply opening them when he knew that no one else was in the room. Mick, who had been the one who had stayed with him throughout the night, would occassionaly walk outside for a few minutes before coming back into the room to watch TV without turning up the volume.
When he had heard Amy walk inside and greet Steve, who had gotten there just ten minutes before, something inside of him seemed to freeze and send cold shivers all throughout his body. How could it be that she had gotten married with someone else? How could she have done that, after swearing that she would always be with him. That she would always love him, and that she would never leave him alone. Did she even care about him anymore?
'Probably not,' he thought sadly as he closed his eyes even tighter, wanting to shut out the world and wanting to forget everything. Forget the fact that life had played him a bad card and that he was now left with nothing.
No family. No life.
Nothing.
Tears seemed to sting in his eyes for what seemed to be the hundreth time, but he tried to keep his face straight so that no one would see the fact that he was breaking even more than what he was already. He was completely broken now, but his body was finding a way to break into even more pieces - smaller pieces that he would never be able to put back together.
Amy had been watching her husband, or ex-husband now, and had to bite her bottom lip in order to fight back the tears that she had been expecting long ago: the tears of relief for finding out that Dwayne would be ok. Years ago she had dreamt about that day and had looked forward to it with anticipation as she watched the way that his face looked peaceful and in a deep sleep. She had expected him to wake up, smile that smile that he only had for her and for him to at least whisper that everything would be ok. Then she would fill his face with soft kisses before holding him without letting go until some doctor had to pull her off of him.
He was awake now, but now she couldn't fill his face with kisses. She had no right to do so. She had no right to even be there; she had abandoned her husband at the most critical time of his life.
Swallowing a knot in her throat, Amy turned to Steve before having to wipe away a tear from her face. "Steve, can you please...let me stay here with him for a bit?"
At that, Steve frowned and folded his arms in front of his chest. Out of Mick, Kurt and him, he was the one who resented the fact that she had remarried the most. Mick and Kurt were understanding, claiming that she had a right to move on and to be happy, but he didn't understand that reasoning. There was no point. She supposedly loved him and cared about him, but now he almost hated her for hurting one of his best friends.
"No," he answered defensively. "I'm not getting out of here."
Letting out a sigh and closing her eyes, Amy shook her head and wiped away yet another tear. "Please. I won't be here long, and he's sleeping, right? I won't do anything; I care about him too much."
When he heard that, Steve couldn't help but frown at her - almost scowling. How dare she even say that? How dare she even be there...? In order to not say the words that he had been wanting to yell at her for years, Steve simply clenched his jaw tightly before walking out and almost slammed the door on his way out.
As she watched him leave, Amy folded her arms in front of her chest as well; not moving. Now that she was back in that room, part of her wanted to run away. She remembered those days when all she would do was cry and pray that he would be ok: that some sort of miracle could happen and he would suddenly open his eyes. She remembered the helplessness that she had felt day in and day out as she watched him on that bed and all she could do was hold his hand.
Looking down at her own hand, sobs started to get choked inside of her throat. She felt so lost, so...alone. Turning towards Dwayne once more, she tried to smile, but instead more tears simply rushed out as she talked. "How are you feeling, Dwayne...?"
At that, he opened his eyes slowly and turned to her; his eyes glassy with tears. "How did you know I was awake?"
"Because I know you," she answered as she smiled very slightly and went to sit down on the chair that was placed next to his bed. "How are you feeling?" As she asked, she unconsciously caressed his forehead gently; something she had often done not only while he had been in the hospital, but even from before.
If Dwayne had been expecting anything, her touching his forehead had not been one of them. With her touch it made him remember those mornings when they would wake up together, warm underneath the sheets and the blankets. Before he had loved her touch; the warmth from her hands and the feeling that he got every time she did it, but now...
Now her touch seemed to burn. Something inside of him churned and turned with each stroke, knowing that she wasn't his anymore. She belonged to another man now, and although he wanted to hate her, he couldn't. He still loved her, and it was knowing that he still loved her but could do nothing about it that her touching him hurt.
Just as he was going to answer, a lump in his throat seemed to start choking him and he had to close his eyes to make it go away. "I, uh," he started saying, turning his head towards the other side so she would stop touching him. He didn't even want to see her anymore; it all hurt too much. "Not bad, I guess. Woke up, so that's good, right?"
"Yeah," she answered quietly as she tried to keep a smile on her face. The moment he had looked away, though, she felt her heart break all over again. "We're all really glad that you're awake now."
Letting out a small scoff, Dwayne rolled his eyes. "Sure."
Upon hearing his sarcasm, Amy frowned at him in confusion. "You don't believe me...? We are glad that you woke up."
"Especially you, right?" As he asked, his voice sounded bitter.
"Dwayne..."
"What, Amy? Why are you even here, anyway? Did you come to shove it in my face that you remarried...?"
"Dwayne, please-"
"I know you remarried, Amy; I know everything, ok? You don't have to do your little pity calls, I don't need you here. I'm ok now, I'm awake, so now you can go. Go back to your husband and do me a favor; just stay there and don't ever come to see me again."
"Would you listen to me?" She stopped for a moment, trying to compose herself and keep down her voice. His words had hurt her, but she should have expected them. She should have just left when Steve told her to. "I'm really, really sorry that things turned out this way. I wanted to wait for you, to see you wake up, then take you home and continue with our lives. I wanted us to-... I wanted us to have a baby, or babies, and have our own family. You think I wanted things to turn out this way? You think I wanted you to fall off of that stupid thing and have you lose consciousness all these years?"
"Oh, so it's my fault."
"No, it's no one's fault." Amy wiped away her tears and continued talking. "But it just...happened. I didn't want it to happen, but it did, and..."
He turned towards her, his eyes now dry and filled with anger and resentment. "And you married him. How long ago?" He waited for her answer but, when she stayed silent, he clenched his jaw slightly. "How long ago, Amy?"
"Almost three years."
"What's his name?"
"Kevin. He's a really nice man, and we're..."
"...happy, I know," he finished for her. The next question that he was going to ask seemed to be too farfeteched for him to even formulate it. He didn't even know how he managed to gather the strength to find his voice. "How's your son?"
At first Amy didn't know what to say, or if she should even answer that. Steve had mentioned that he knew everything, but she hadn't thought that they would have told him that she now had a son. "Fine. He's getting big."
"That's...great," he answered apathetically, exhausted both mentally and physically. Aside from the fact that the conversation had taken its toll on him, just the fact of dealing with everything that he had to deal with now was getting him even worse.
Amy knew that he was tired, and that he didn't want her to be there; that he didn't want to see her, but she didn't want to go. She wanted to stay with him, yet at the same time she just wanted to go back home. It felt as if she was suffocating in there. "I think I'm going to get going now. I'm really happy you're awake now." Taking her purse, she stood up and, unconsciously, she started to lean towards him to kiss his forehead.
As he saw her doing that, Dwayne closed his eyes and turned his head towards another side, where she wouldn't see him. He would have moved away from her, but he was far too weak to do anything but move his head.
When he did that, Amy realized what she was doing and stopped; letting out a small sigh. "I hope you get better soon," she said bravely as she smiled at him. When he didn't say anything, she bit her bottom lip again and started for the door.
Before she reached it, Dwayne talked again in a low voice; still not turning to her. "Don't come to see me again. I don't ever want to see you again." Although he tried to keep his voice low so as to hide all the emotions inside of him, he couldn't hide the coldness and anger that seemed to drip from his words. He didn't open his eyes, so he didn't see Amy nod and quietly walk out; but when he heard the door close he simply opened his eyes and tried to relax. Tried to ignore Steve's voice, asking him if he was ok. Trying to ignore the way that his breathing started to quicken and his eyes seemed to get flooded with tears. All he wanted to was to forget.
Forget the past. Forget the present.
Forget love. Forget life.
Forget her.